Dear journal,
Keep taking deep breathes, try to calm down. Scott should be here any second now.
-M

—

I didn't even question Scott when he pulled up in a car. I don't know how or where he got it, I was just glad that he was here. I crawled into the passenger side without a word and Scott began to drive back. About five minutes into the drive, Scott took a deep breathe.

"Explain to me why I shouldn't of just left you there," he says. I sigh. "Tell me why it was my obligation to get up and come get you. Why not Alex. Kirstie?" I shrug.

"You made me feel safe," I respond quietly. "I was panicking, I didn't know what to do." He shakes his head.

"Avi told me that I should've just left you," he explains. "And as much as I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to do that to you." I nodded silently. Scott pulled into a parking lot and put the car in park. I was confused but I didn't say anything. He unbuckled his seat belt, got out of the car, and began to pace. I felt as if I had done enough, so I let him be. I waited for five minutes before Scott opened the door again, but he didn't get back in. He leaned his chest inside and looked at me for a minute. "I should have listened to Avi," he says suddenly. "Because now I'm pacin' outside 'a car that ain't even mine, almost cryin', because I just drove to some random ass place to pick up the guy I like who was with another guy," he says. With that, he shut the car door again, but he didn't pace.

He simply sat. He sat on the cold, gross, dirty parking lot ground. I wanted to cry, but something in kept me from crying and I had a feeling it was because I needed to comfort Scott, even if he didn't want me to. I opened my door, got out of the car, walked over to Scott, and sat down next to him on dirty ground.

"Go back in the car, Mitch," he says quickly. I shook my head. He never told me to get back in the car again. He was just silent. I wanted to reach over and grab his hand, hold it in mine and tell him that we'd be okay, but truth is, we weren't.

"I'm going to go to my mom's funeral," I say suddenly. "And I know this probably isn't the best time to tell you, but I need to tell someone and you're my first choice," Scott's gaze slowly shifted to me. "We're leaving for California pretty soon after we get back to Texas. Truth is, I'm terrified." I chuckle, but it wasn't funny.

"Terrified?" He questions. "Shouldn't you be ecstatic to go back to California? It's your home," he says. I shook my head. "Why?" He asks. I avoided his eye contact, but when his hand rested on top of my thigh, I looked at him, and then I began to cry. As soon as the first tear left my eye, I looked down in embarrassment. But the only thing Scott chose to do was comfort me. He slid his arm over my shoulder and pulled me towards him, just hugging me. "Talk to me, tell me what you're thinkin'." He begs. I wiped my tears.

"Everything about California sucks," I say quietly. "My mom being put in jail, her death," I waited a second before I spoke again. "Brian and Austin," I whispered. Scott sighed.

"I was waitin' to hear those names from you," he says softly. "Who are they?" He asks. "Because if they hurt you, I'll ruin 'em." I shake my head.

"They didn't hurt me, I did it to myself," I say and shake my head. "Because I'm a slut, Scott. I can't be with you because I'm going to hurt you, and I can't bring myself to do that to someone as amazing as you."

"Mitch," he says softly. "What did you do?" He asks. So I told him. I told him about how sweet Austin was to me, how amazing our relationship was. I told him that I knew we wouldn't last. I explained that Brian was also sweet, and showed me attention. Then I explained what he had done. How he used me, tricked me into ruining my relationship. And I cried. I cried the entire time I explained the situation. Scott didn't laugh, he didn't frown, he barely even moved. He just...listened. When I finished explaining, he was silent. He didn't say anything, and neither did I. We just sat on the cold, gross, dirty parking lot ground. "You're an idiot," Scott finally whispered.

"What?" I ask immediately, my face turning slightly sour. Scott shook his head.

"If you felt like that, why'd you go out with Alex?" I shrugged.

"There is no commitment, I guess," I say sadly. Scott sighed.

"I don't care," Scott answers. "I don't care about those stupid guys. I know you ain't gonna believe me when I tell you that ain't your fault, so I'm tellin' you I don't care. Hurt me. Tear my heart to pieces, I just want you to be with me." I tried to wipe away my tears, but Scott grabbed my wrists. Then suddenly, swiftly, he kissed me. It was passionate and slow. It was caring and I felt as if I hadn't felt it before. All too quickly, he pulled away, but he still had his forehead to mine. "You're not a slut, or a liar, or a skank, and god knows you are not a dog, Mitch. You are beautiful, and kind, and caring, and loving," he says. I felt myself cry even more. "You're humble, charismatic, charming, and we are in this together, Mitch Grassi. We are a team." He intertwined his hand with mine and held them up so we could both see them.

"A team," I whisper. Scott nods. "Thank you." He smiled brightly and threw his arm around my waist, pulling me close to him. He hugged me tightly.

"They mistreated you," he whispers to me. "And as long as I have a say, they'll never do it again. I'll go to California with you," he suggests. I chuckled.

"You can't go to California with me, Scott," I tell him. He smiled and nodded, shifting his hold on me, managing to hold me even tighter. "I'll be your boyfriend," I blurt out. Scott's eyes widened as he pulled away slightly. Quickly, he stood up and pulled me up with him. He then ran, but not away from me. He ran around a pole, and then he jumped into the air and clicked his heels together. I laughed at this big dork. Then he ran to me and lifted me in the air, hugging me as tight as he possibly could without hurting me. And to finish it off, he kissed me.

"Hey, Mitch?" He questioned when he pulled away. I looked to him. "Our first kiss was in a bathroom and we became boyfriends on the floor of a grocery store parking lot," he explains with a smile. I chuckled.

"Worth it," I say and kiss him again.