Dear journal,
I'm not sure of what I'm gonna write right now, actually. I guess there is just so much in my mind that it is hard to put into words, you know? Scott left for Brazil yesterday, so I didn't have to deal with him which was easier for me. He went from being a good friend to someone who I could barely look at in such a quick time span. Maybe being friends with him wasn't a good thing for me. Maybe...
-M

--

Malory told Kirstie she was done with her when Kirstie left her by the lockers to come comfort me. And the good thing is, Kirstie wasn't even phased by it. She stood up for herself and said that having a best friend is better than having a potential girlfriend and stood by me the rest of the way. I hoped this was a sign that everything would get better, although I knew otherwise. I wasn't sure why Alex suddenly began to hate me, it made no sense. Ever since that day at the mall, he has just continuously been distancing himself.

I was in art when I received a text message from Scott. It was short, simple, but it somehow made me smile.

S: how are u?

I blinked a few times before my fingers sped across the keyboard. I'm mad at him, right? He treats me awfully. Those snarky remarks about being gay, they aren't good! My thoughts went towards leaving Scott behind, but my fingers ran over the send button, lightly tapping it.

M: ive been better

S: how so?

M: life

S: you know I still feel bad. that wasn't the way I was intending to say that.

M: well we say what we really believe right?

S: nope

M: ok

S: brazil is nice

M: I bet

S: you're upset w me?

M: idk

S: don't be. hate seeing ur pretty face angry

M: gtg

I quickly responded before realizing that this wasn't worth my time. This whole conversation had no meaning what-so-ever, therefore it didn't need to be had. Despite my rejection, Scott continued to text me.

S: how's art today?
S: make sure no one touches my piece. except you:)

M: I said I gtg

S: and i asked how art was?

M: Scott

S: Mitch

M: Scott

S: how are u now? feeling better then u did a few minutes ago?

M: nope

S: how can I change that?

M: idk

S: if it means anything, I miss you :/

M: u miss me?

S: yeah

M: why? ur livin it up in Brazil, what's to miss?

S: you want a list?

M: not necessarily

S: id consider us pretty good friends, that is if ur not mad at me anymore

M: you hurt my feelings

S: I'm so sorry :(
S: how can I make it up to you?

M: idk Scott

S: what if I break up w Taylor?

My eyes widened. Is he being serious. He'd break up with her just to make me not mad at him? I don't think this is real, I think he is messing with me.

M: that makes no sense. what does Taylor have to do w us?

S: idk. honestly that was an excuse so I could break up w her lmao.

M: you want to?

S: you and i both know she isn't what I want.

M: we do?

S: don't act oblivious

M: ok..
M: what do u want?

S: you
S: your friendship.

M: oh. okay

S: do I have it back?

M: that depends on if you're going to be a jackass or not.
M: I'm kind of low on friends right now so I think I'll take anything.

S: oh so I'm just a cover up friend?

M: no! I mean, we've always been friends ever since I moved. not to cover up anything. idk, I didn't mean it like that.

S: I'm messin w you city boy;) wish I coulda seen your pretty face

M: quit that

S: what?

M: messing w me.

S: I'll be back on Thursday, ok??? pops and I are going to bat man alley. super pumped

M: okay have fun

S: hey?

M: yeah?

S: were okay?

M: were okay.

--

The rest of the day was pretty average, I guess. Alex still didn't talk to me, Esther disappeared somewhere at lunch. Kirstie and I both sit at my locker now, which is better than just me. We had gotten used to this routine, sitting outside of the cafeteria at lunch alone each day. I couldn't help but feel bad, it's my fault that Kirstie is sitting outside rather than at her usual lunch table. If I never came to this school, nothing would've been this dramatic.

"Have you seen my sister?" A deep voice asks Kirstie and I. Kirstie scoffs. I look up to see Avi approaching us, his arms crossed and his face looking tired. "Hello?"

"Get away, Avi," Kirstie says. "Esther does not wanna see you," she spits. I look down, attempting to avoid any type of communication with the boy.

"She ain't gonna get a choice," Avi replies feverishly. "I'm driving her home today, I have too," he says in frustration. "Now, where is she?"

"I don't know, Avi," Kirstie answers. "Do you know where Kevin is?" Avi shakes his head. "Try finding him, then Esther will most likely be with him."

"With Kevin?" He questions. Kirstie nods. "Kevin has a thing with my sist-Esther," he corrects himself. He almost called him his sister, that has not happened before. Was he getting...protective over her?

"Find out for yourself," Kirstie replies. "Can I eat lunch in peace now?" Avi huffs in response, taking off down the hall. Kirstie and I both watched him stumble off, watching as he grabbed his phone and tapped it a few times, pulling it up to his ear to call someone.

"Hey, Es, its Avi. Can you please call me back? I know we ain't as close as we was as kids, but Mom wants me to drive you home so we can talk a lil', I hate sayin' it, but I kinda miss my lil' sis," he says sadly. "Please let me know where you are, alright?" And he hung up the phone.