A/n: This has got to be the most depressing thing I have ever written. I wanted to try it out and whoa, I got super into it. Seriously, this is more than 3,500 words long. I'd say that's impressive since it's only been today. But that's why you peeps shall have two oneshots in one day! Yay! *throws confetti into the air*

I'm really sorry in advance for the sudden angst since I usually type up happy oneshots. But after this, I'll have more joyous oneshots! I promise. (Unless, ya know, you like this kind of thing, then I can totally type more of this kind of thing.) But yeah, WARNING, very sad in my opinion. Read at own risk!

Anyway, enjoy!

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I was happy.

My whole life being in South Park was the best and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

Growing in the small, mountain town had been such a ride. I've been here since I was in diapers. Once I entered elementary school, I instantly became friends with Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and especially Kenny. We were always together, causing havoc. That's just how we were.

We grew and feelings were developed. I had liked Kenny McCormick the moment we became sixth graders. We were growing, and puberty had hit most of us. Of course these feelings were going to occur. Of course it had to be for my best friend.

But then he asked me out. It was the happiest day of my life.

"Oi, Kinny, remember when you were so sex crazed when we were younger?" Cartman asked the freckled blonde as we were all hanging out at his house on a weekend our seventh grade year.

"Who said I wasn't still sex crazed?" Kenny smirked as he pressed the buttons rapidly on his controller, his sapphire eyes glued on the screen along with mine, Stan, and Kyle's.

"Dude, you haven't tried to get into anyone's pants since fourth grade," Stan pointed out, leaning towards the right like that might give him an advantage to the video game.

"Well, that's because I've only had eyes on one person," Kenny replied, easily getting points.

"Oooh, KenKen has a crush," I teased, nudging him on the side in a joking manner. At that moment, my heart had shattered in a million pieces. Whoever that girl was, she's one lucky bitch.

"Kenny! You had a crush on someone and you didn't tell us? I'm fucking hurt, dude," Kyle replied, his focused deeply still into the game. "Who is she?"

"Yeah, asshole. Tell us who she is so we can ridicule her that a poor fuck likes her," Cartman snickered.

"Well if I tell you all now, she's going to find out," Kenny muttered.

"Do we know her?" Stan questioned.

"Yeah."

"So what if we know her?" Kyle muttered. "How about you just tell me, Stan, and (F/n)? Since we're not going to be assholes about it."

"EY!" Cartman snapped, obviously offended.

"It's true! You just said you were going to ridicule the poor girl. Sure, you do that to (F/n) but she's used to it by now," the redhead explained.

"This is also true," I muttered, my thumbs rapidly pressing the buttons I need to gain points.

"Fine! I won't fucking ridicule her. I just want to know," Cartman grumbled as he stuffed more Cheesy Poofs into his mouth. "Dude, just tell us who she is already."

"... Well, she's in this room right now."

Abruptly, I froze all together, letting my character in the game die instantly. The room was deathly quiet over the confession. I glanced over and saw that Kenny was the only one still focused on the game, now surpassing all of us with the multiple points he's gaining, but now his freckled cheeks were a crimson red, just like mine. "Wait, my mom?" Cartman sputtered, pieces of the cheesy snack flying out his mouth.

"No, dumbass! He meant (F/n)," Stan told him, pinching the bridge of his nose in disbelief of how stupid Cartman can really be. "Your mom isn't even home!"

"Oh... well, fuck," the chubby boy muttered, his eyes now on me. "That's some bomb drop! How do you feel about that?"

"Kenny," I uttered out once I got over my initial shock.

"You guys are losing, you know," the blonde said, not once trying to look over at me. "(F/n), I'm sorry if this is very awkward for you. We can just pretend I didn't say--"

Without anyone expecting it, I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. With a round of gasps from each boy, I continued on with the game like I never did a thing, getting back into the groove of the game. "I didn't reject you, idiot," I said with smile grazing my face.

"Did we just witness our two friends confessing to each other?" Kyle muttered dumbfounded at the scene.

"Kyle, Stan, if none of you start playing, you're both going to end up being the losers and have to do any dare we give you," Kenny reminded them with a smirk. Both the boys snatched their controllers and went full force back into the game.

By the end, Kyle ended up being the loser. So, as we dared him to run around the neighborhood stark naked while singing Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up, we all exited Cartman's house to video tape the glorious moment. "So, (F/n), since, ya know, you like me back, we can go on a date sometime?" Kenny asked so casually. It was nice, though, since I wasn't one to like being the center of attention. I nodded my head at him, my smile not once leaving my face.

We intertwined our fingers as we watched the spectacular show. "Sing louder, Jew!" Cartman shouted with a laugh while holding his phone up to capture the scene.

From that day on, Kenny and I had maintained such a magical relationship. Every day I was with the blonde had been remarkable and I was falling for him harder than I ever expected. I had loved him and he had loved me. Other than the fact that Cartman enjoys to tease us about our relationship, everyone was onboard with it.

I was happy... until the summer before our freshman year of high school.

I didn't realize it at first but it wasn't until that summer I started to notice a change. I was coughing a lot more. I weighed about eight pounds lighter than I did a few months ago. There would be times where I had pain in my chest that was unexplainable. I was beginning to get more out of breath whenever I did something somewhat physical with my friends. I had come to my mother about this and she suggested that we should go to the doctors about it.

That's when I found out I had lung cancer.

All at once, my world came crumbling down.

The doctor says I needed to be treated as soon as possible. With a lot of talking with my mother, I decided to go along with it but I'll need to go to Denver since Hell's Pass Hospital doesn't do anything that can help with my condition.

So... only a week before freshman year, I had told my friends that I'll be moving. I didn't have the guts to tell them about my critical condition. If I did, I would probably break down crying. I mean, I did cry when I knew I wouldn't be able to see my friends for I don't know how long. Telling my four friends had been so hard; I hated lying to them. My goodbye to Kenny was the hardest but we had promised that when I come back (I promised I will) that we will be together again like nothing ever happened.

Then, I left for two years.

The process of everything was excruciating. With the support of my parents and keeping up with my friends through calls and Facebook, I was able to cope.

But, in the end. It didn't turn out the way we all wanted. It was terminal and I have about a few more years to live. And, so, I requested that I should have my remaining years back in South Park. The doctors nor my parents declined my wish. I needed to be surrounded by people I love. I want to be with them until the very end. I need to be with them until the very end.

"Sweetheart, look who's waiting outside our house," my mother called out to me from the driver's seat. My eyes fluttered open since I was taking a nap in the passenger seat (my father was driving the moving truck behind us). Once rubbing my eyes from sleep and looking out the window, I nearly cried. There they were! "You have good friends, (F/n). I'm glad you have them. But you have to tell them..."

"I-I know," I muttered, while fixing the wig I wore. (I've had this wig since the beginning of chemotherapy because I wasn't all too pleased with no hair. I kept it because I've become quite attached to it. So, don't judge me.) "I will do it, I promise." We finally parked in the driveway of our old house and I basically hopped out the car to greet my friends. Instantly, I was tackled by the four into a group hug. I was laughing, something I haven't done in a long while. "Oh my god, you guys," I stammered out, misty eyed. "I missed y'all so much."

"We missed you too, (F/n)," Kyle muttered as we all pulled away from each other. "Even fatass missed you."

I turned my attention onto the chestnut haired boy. "Yeah, I did. So what?" he grumbled out.

"Wow, (F/n), you lost some weight," Stan pointed out.

I tried my best not to react outwardly with the comment. I bared him a smile. "Well, not being you guys all the time, I didn't eat as much junk food." I glanced over at Kenny. He gazed back at me with tears in his eyes. There it was. What I craved for so long. That adoration in his eyes that was reserved only for me. Honestly, I'm surprised he still would. It's been too long. "Hi, Kenny," I greeted the blonde.

He reached over, his hands gently cupping my cheeks, and kissed me passionately. Oh, how I missed this. When we pulled away, he squeezed me tightly in his arms. "Don't leave me ever again," he muffled into my shoulder. I could feel his tears seeping through my sweater but I didn't care. I hugged him back with as much strength as I could muster. The tears had welled up in my eyes and I let them freely stream down my cheeks. I didn't know if it was from happiness or sadness. Probably both.

I pulled away, crying harder. Yes, I have to tell them. "(F/n), what's wrong?" Kyle asked me in a worried tone.

Reluctantly, I took off my wig, revealing my shaven head. They gawked at me in shock, something I definitely expected. I told them everything from the beginning. Not once did the tears stop as I finally told them the secret I didn't want them to ever know. Once finishing, they were stiff with sadness and tears were now in their eyes too. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner," I choked, now desperately trying to wipe my cheeks dry. "I am so, so sorry."

Kenny grabbed onto my hand into his, lacing our fingers together. "Don't be sorry, (F/n). It's not your fault," he murmured with such gentleness in his voice. "We all love you, ok? Well, one more than the others." I grinned at his silliness, tightening my grip on his hand. "We're going to do everything we can so you can live life as you want it. We're going to give you the best years of your life." The other three boys nodded, agreeing with the blonde.

And I believed it.

The time I have had with those boys, and other people in town, was such a joy. Everyone did their best on helping me and making me happy even as I gotten weaker and weaker by the day.

I was happy.

Then, we graduated. I didn't think I'd see the day to actually graduate high school along with my friends. But... we did it. We made it.

To celebrate, we wanted to go camping, just the five of us. My parents almost didn't let me go, but I promised them I would bring my medical supplies and that the boys knew what to do if I started to have a panic (there were a few before). Fortunately, they agreed to let me go camp.

"This is such a beautiful view," I said, breathing in the fresh air. We had made it to our destination, thanks to Stan's pick-up truck. We had set up our camp right by the lake and just in the distance, the mountains touched the skies.

I felt an arm slither around my waist. "We see mountains every day, (F/n)," Kenny told me with a chuckle. He pecked my cheek and pulled me closer to him.

"Oh, shut it, McCormick. Don't ruin the moment," I grumbled while pinching his cheek.

"Oi, lovebirds, we need to put up the tents since it's getting late," Cartman called out to us while Stan and Kyle were trying their best to put up one tent. Along with Cartman, we all put up three tents, one for Stan and Kyle, one for Cartman by himself, and the last one for me and Kenny.

The night was chilly but overall peaceful. With the stars and the full moon above us and the campfire blazing to keep us warm. We ate our hotdogs and s'mores while each shared a scary story and played truth or dare. All just like the good ole days.

As we called in for the night, we went into our tents. I laid down on the blown up mattress we brought and pulled the blanket up to my chin. Kenny joined me and wrapped his arms around my slim body. "I love you, (F/n)," he murmured to me.

"I love you too, Kenny," I sighed out. I leaned in and kissed him deeply. In a way, you could tell that I really wanted him by the way my hands trailed up into his hair and tugged on it a little. When a moan left his lips by the hair pulling, I smiled mischievously. "I forgot how much you liked that." I continued to pull onto his hair while giving him another feverish kiss on the lips. "I missed this."

"S-so, you are ok if we?..." he asked a little breathlessly. I just dove my teeth to his neck and nibbled lightly to where I knew was sensitive. "AH, I-I'm taking that a-as a yes?" I hummed happily in response while my fingers found the hem of his shirt. "O-ok but if you start hurting and you want to stop then tell me, alright?"

"I'll just say our safe word," I giggled while remembering the first time we had made that up... Neither of us used that word.

"Steve Buschemi?" Kenny laughed at the memory.

"Yeah." Our lips connected once more as each piece of clothing was flung to the side. "Oh, just so you don't forget, I really love you."

"Ditto."

The morning sun had risen and we all decided to get up early. After eating our breakfast, we had to figure out what we can do for the day. "We should go hiking!" I suggested in an excited tone. All of the boys glanced over at me with worried expressions on their face.

"Babe, are you sure about that?" Kenny muttered with furrowed eyebrows. He grabbed onto my hand and ran his thumb on the back of it. "I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"I'm fine. Fantastic, even!" I defended myself. "C'mon, you guys! Let's do it."

"Bitch, maybe if you two were fucking each other senseless last night, I would've been more on board about it," Cartman said. "You two weren't really the quietest people!"

My cheeks flared up. "Dude!" Kenny snapped at him. He glanced over at me with a small smile. "Maybe we should have placed our tent farther away from everyone else."

"(F/n)!" Stan cried out, who was in shock along with Kyle. "When the fuck did you lose your virginity?"

"Oh, c'mon. We're all eighteen. Don't tell me you're both still virgins, boys," I replied, my blush still on my cheeks.

"Fine, whatever you have a point," Kyle muttered. "But, I still don't know if hiking is a good idea, (F/n)."

"Boys! I'll be fine," I pushed on, standing my ground. "If you haven't noticed, I've been great for the past couple of months!"

"(F/n), c'mon. It's not like we have done anything too extreme," Stan said.

I glared at all of the boys. I crossed my arms over my chest. "I. Am. Fine."

They all exchanged glances with one another. "Ok, fine. But we're bringing all of your stuff," Kenny told me.

I did a little cheer and a dance of delight, which earned a few chuckles from the boys. "Yay! Alright, let's do this!"

Our hike was very enjoyable and it brought back so many wonderful memories of our youth. It was such a blast just being with my boys once again just like when we were in elementary school. I didn't want it to end...

But, I had to be stubborn. I had to be so damn stubborn.

Why did I ignore the fact I was breathing faster than I usually was?

Why did I decline all the times the boys suggested we should rest?

Why was I being so careless?

Before I knew it, my head was light and my breathing became jagged. "(F/n)?" Kenny asked me when he noticed me slowing down. I tried my best to breath in the extra oxygen from my tank but it wasn't working. I fell onto my knees. "(F/N)!"

Then, darkness overcame me.

Hell's Pass Hospital.

That's where I was. I am damn sure of it. I've been here too many times to never forget it. The plain white walls, the excessive amount of machines, the distracting beeping...

I was weak, so unbelievably weak.

It was near.

I know it.

It was Day 10 in that hospital and the boys have come to visit me every day with my parents. Many people have visited actually, but they were the one to always come back.

I had finally asked my mother to bring what I wanted. She had given the boys each a sealed letter, each with their names on it. "What is this, (F/n)?" Kyle asked me as they were all here again, surrounding my bed.

"Go ahead and open it, boys. I made a letter for all of you," I told them, still somewhat in pain. They all hesitantly ripped open their envelopes. Quietly, the read to themselves, much to my pleasure, or I would start bawling. I glimpsed over at Kenny, who sat to my right. He had a firm grip on my hand as he held the letter in his other. The tears began spilling before I could process what he could possibly be feeling. "C-Can I read it to you?" I requested.

Kenny solemnly nodded and handed me the old paper.

"Dear Kenny,

I don't know if you have noticed but I'm really bad at writing letters. You should probably check the other's first, I know I'm right on that one. And, yes, I did write yours last because reasons.

So, where do I start with you? We've been so much together, KenKen. We've had our ups and downs in our lives but I could always count on you as you could do the same with me. We were always together. People probably thought we were together before we were officially together. Haha. The day you have asked me out, you made me the happiest girl in the world. No joke. I was doing backflips in my head when you did. I mean, you sure had a way of confessing though. But it was cute!

I will never forget all those magical times we have spent together. You were my first love and probably be my only love. I have no idea how much time I have when you read this or whatever, but I hope to god you'll be the only one for me. That's how I feel as sappy as it sounds. I love you Kenneth McCormick and don't you ever forget that.

Love, (F/n) (L/n)," I read from word to word. I let out a small scoff. "I kind of wish I had written more, to be honest."

"Babe, no, it's perfect," Kenny responded while giving me a cautious hug.

"When did you write this?" Stan asked me through his uncontrollable sobs.

"Probably the moment I knew I would be able to come back to South Park. I've had those in my room for a couple years," I answered the raven haired boy truthfully. "I really do love you guys. Please remember I will always be with you. I don't even care how corny I sound but it's true. You four are the bestest friends a gal could ever ask for. I've lived a happy life and I cannot thank you enough for it." I was basically repeating what I wrote in those letters but I had the desire to actually tell them before it was too late. "Despite all of the arguments and fights we had shared, we were the team." I began to cough. It gotten bad enough that a nurse had to come in and tell the boys to leave so she could take care of me. "Wait, hold on, hold on. Lemme tell them one more thing!" I demanded. When they all turned to look at me from the doorway, I shot them a grin. "I am happy."