Breakfast isn't queasy as I thought it would usually be. With all my bags ready for me to move into my new dorm across town, I decide to sit quietly at our long table, though it's just me and Tok Aba as usual.

When I chew on my last beef rice bowl here in this home, I take the moment, looking around our wide dining hall's structure. The chandelier, the glass table, the carpet and the vases in almost every corner.

I'll miss this all. Most especially Tok Aba, of course.

He's speechless, and I actually don't find that unusual. We don't usually hold conversations every meal.

For a fact, I don't even talk back.

It's been eight years since I've ever spoken a word. To some, that's unbearable, but as for me, speaking might've been even more upsetting. I've always been scared of many things, so to hear the voice I've once used to call out my dying parents' names...it reminds me of it all.

My lips don't speak as much as my eyes do, though. The maids have done a particularly splendid job this time in cooking our meals. My jacket is even well cleaned. And Tok Aba doesn't even appear flustered for today. It's strange. Usually, he'd be getting some cranky episodes some time in the morning.

He's quiet. The silence suffocates me.

Did I say something? Did I do something wrong last night? Did I wake him up? Did I bother him?

He drops his silverware loud, it startles me. But his voice stays calm. "Your cousins will be taking you to the dorms in an hour, okay? So it's good you've already prepared beforehand."

His face is peaceful, yet stoic. It sets me off, so I just nod.

Seriously, did I do something wrong?

I hear him sigh across the table. "I just thought that...since you're leaving, and I don't know if you'll ever be available to visit me again...I thought you'd finally just utter a single 'Tok' for at least just once..."

The sentence is sharply painstaking. I can only lower my head in shame, biting my lips. My eyes can't even meet his. It's always hard when he's right.

I look back to my rice bowl and hear his chair screech against our marble flooring. His footsteps clap closer to my ear. Then, I feel him lowering himself for an embrace.

"You're twenty years old and yet you're still like the little grandson I know," he tells me, sighing. "Don't force yourself to talk to your cousins, okay? They may be a bit too jolly at times, but they'll understand you, alright?"

His words whisper in my ears warmly, his arms tenderly wrapping mine in his subtle hug. For a moment, it felt nice. Then I got another knock in the head.

I'll miss this too.

I stand to embrace him as well. After that, he pats me in the back, pulling at my shoulders to make me stand straight. "Make me proud, pan-pan..."

My lips crescent at the nickname. It'll be another thing for me to miss.

I hear my phone ring. It tells me to head off.

When I take my bags and pace towards the door, I make sure to look back with a smile.

I twitch my fingers to him. My pinky, thumb and first finger, then thumb and pinky altogether.

I do him a favor. I mouth, "Tok".

I love you, Tok.

I wave.

===

The dorm building isn't a particularly high-class structure. Though I'd say it a bit worth the fifteen-minute walk. It isn't fancy, but not trash either. Inside, the woman by the counter is only a bit older than me by a few years. She looks like she's only been told to stay there for a moment.

Is she supposed to be the receptionist? She doesn't look very attentive. She's looking at her phone- On the job- Should I be afraid now?

Where are those two when I need them?!

I try to calculate my next moves. But only when I walk towards the counter do I realize.

Shrimps, these people don't know sign language, do they?

I'm in front of the counter. What now~?

"HEY UPAANNN!!!" The voice makes me jolt instantly, making my eyes widen and my shoulders jerk up. His voice is coming fast from behind me, followed by his immensely heavy hug.

No, he didn't hug. He charged.

I bring my hand to my chest, panting, while trying to look who it is. Even though I kinda well know who it is now. He lets go of me.

I see he's wearing his 'pizzazz' clothes again.

He's wearing visors...This hall is dark?!

"Solar! Chill out, dude. You'll scare the poor guy, look what you did!" Gempa scolds Solar behind me, his hands preoccupied with a bunch of groceries they probably went to buy outside. He looks a bit more pleasant than usual, his leather clothes match him well actually.

I...forgot they live in this dorm too.

"Sorry, miss," Gempa tells the receptionist. "This is Taufan, our cousin. We signed him up for a room here, can we have his keys please? And ours too?"

The receptionist doesn't look from her phone, taking the two keys from her drawers with one free hand.

Isn't she a bit too suspicious?

"Thanks, miss. Solar, get the keys."

Solar's still flirting with the receptionist. Wonder how the receptionist reacted...

Gempa hisses. "Solar, the kEYS!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. My bad, my bad," he groans, swiping our keys from the counter.

===

Gempa opens the door for me and Solar booms with a sense of weird enthusiasm. "UPAN, WELCOME TO YOUR HUMBLEE ABODEE!"

"You do realize this isn't your room right?" Gempa tells him, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, but duH the hospitaliTY?" Solar simply replies.

The rest of their argument continues in a playful chatter, and my eyes continue to glare at my room. Like the rest of the building, it isn't fancy. The paint is adequate, and the ventilation is very much enough for me. But for once, I overlook the rest of it. I only eye the two bunkbeds.

One with a bag that isn't mine.

It's red. The color of fearsome death, anger, war. The aura haunts me. Whose bag is this?!

I look back to Gempa and Solar, finding them in the middle of their bantering. Still, they stop at the sound of my stomp on the wood flooring.

The floor is too creepily loud.

Their heads look to my direction. I point at the bag with a puzzled face.

Gempa is the one who understands me first. "Oh, you don't know?

"You have a roommate."