Nakaupo ako sa napakalaking opisina ni Paham. Inabala ko ang sarili sa pagtitig sa isang figurine na mayro'n siya. It was a small statue of a woman with both her arms raised. The magnificent sun floated in her right hand while the mysterious moon is in her left.

Hindi naman siya bago sa paningin ko. If I remember correctly, may ganitong figurine din si Dad. It's probably about Hiraya and her daughters that bear the day and night. So honestly, it was nothing new.

Pero siyempre, wala akong magawa. Not when three pairs of disappointed glares are sent my way!

Isang mabigat na buntong-hininga ni Dad ang nagpaayos ng upo ko. I kept myself alert. Baka mamaya may lumipad na lang na sapatos tapos hindi ako makaiwas.

"You broke one of the rules-"

"Sorry, Dad. Wala naman kasi akong nabasa na rulebook-"

"Don't interrupt me!" singhal niya sa'kin na hindi niya rin pinatapos magsalita. "Do you need a rulebook to understand which places are off-limits or not?"

Uh, duh.

"Siyempre, Daddy. Paano ko malalaman ang rules 'pag 'di ako tinuruan?"

I can see Ellis rolling her eyes. Si Paham naman ay hindi alam kung magagalit ba dahil sa katigasan ng ulo ko o maaaliw sa bangayan namin ni Dad.

"Sinasagot mo ba ako?"

"Dad, you asked." I pointed out.

"Ikaw na bata ka!" he scowled, gesturing at me to come closer. "Halika dito. Halika dito para maturuan natin ng leksiyon 'yang matigas mong ulo."

"'Yoko nga! You'll either pinch my arm or flick my forehead. Masakit!"

I stuck my tongue out when Dad got up from his chair, taking the effort to come closer.

Mabigat na bumuntong-hininga ang pagod na si Ellis. Agad niyang nahuli ang braso ko habang tumatakbo palayo sa ama. Her deadly glare made me stiffen and stop all at once, standing as straight as a statue.

"Can you stop playing around when we're discussing a serious issue here," naiinis niyang saad. "Hindi lang isang rule ang binasag mo, kun'di dalawa. You were out in the halls during curfew hours and you entered a prohibited area. To make matters worse, you threatened three of your classmates to go with you."

"Not threatened, tricked." I corrected, cutely pursing my lips after. "Hindi ko naman alam na prohibited-"

"A bloody sign is plastered in the door, Raven! Huwag mo sabihing hindi ka na marunong magbasa?!"

"Sa dilim, oo. Mahirap."

The anger on her face fell. "Hindi ka ba talaga nauubusan ng excuses?"

I shot her my signature annoying smile, 'yong tipong nagpapasabog ng inis sa puso nila. I'm playing everything cool now to hide the fact that my brain is in shambles.

The Academy council has long left, after being assured that I will be penalized according to my faults. Hindi naman sila nabahala pa dahil nandoon si Paham, Ellis at Dad. Most officials would doubt leaving an offender to their family, but I've been rumored to have a distant relationship with both my parents and siblings. Hindi din sikreto ang pagkamuhi ni Ellis sa'kin.

One of the councils, Ellis' friend, took charge of lecturing my three companions. Sinamaan pa ako ni Tamara ng tingin nang umamin akong may kasalanan sa lahat. They tried to argue but with my super bad reputation and their good records, syempre hindi sila pinaniwalaan.

Sometimes, having everyone dislike you provide a couple of advantages.

"We can't let you go. You made some serious offense, far inexcusable from the favor you asked of Helios."

I frowned. Iyan ba ang ni-propose no'ng isa na hahayaan niya daw ako gumamit ng banned colors as long as I behave? Hindi kaya ako ang nakaisip no'n!

"The Academy has already decided to turn a blind eye on it as long as you perform well. Pero ang bagay na 'to." she sighed. "You are pushing your limits, Raven. Even I wouldn't want to give you to pardon you-"

Natigilan siya nang bigla akong natawa. I faked it with a cough, quieting the chuckles behind my hand.

"Sorry, Ellis. It's just that," I cruelly smiled. "When have you ever forgave me for anything? Mas gulat pa nga ako at nagtagal tayo dito sa kwarto. I assumed you would have thrown me in the den of lions by now."

Tumikhim si Dad bilang babala. My sister and I continued our silent battle, eyes challenging each other and smiles twisted.

"You wouldn't even dream of the punishment if I had a free rein over you."

Ang pag-ubo ni Paham ang siya lang tumigil sa titigan namin. We glanced at the old man who has the final say in everything. Well, his fury a while ago has sure dissipated now. Mas takot akong malaman ang puwedeng mangyari if all his buttons are pushed.

"Ano ang ginagawa mo doon, Miss Tempest? Mayroon ka bang hinahanap?" he asked patiently.

The three of them gave me critical stares, with both my family members threatening that I answer honestly.

As if naman. Hindi nga nila masagot ang tanong ko ng katotohanan, tapos they'll expect I do that?

"You see, Paham. Class just ended and I was damn-"

"Language."

"-mit. Like clothes. So I was clothes tired. Magpapahinga na sana ako pero biglang sabi ni tummy, 'Raia, why don't you get some foods'-"

"For Hiraya's sake!" Ellis massaged her temple, an exhausted look on her face. Maaga siyang magkaka-wrinkles niyan, hayy. "Get to the point!"

"Kung tumigil kang mag-interrupt, then I will!" umirap ako at nagpatuloy. "In short, I was hungry. For soldiers, growing soldiers, like us, importante ang kumain. Kaya para masolba ang problema ay plano kong pumunta sa kitchen at kumain. At-!" I quickly hushed Ellis who wanted to speak. "Dahil matatakutin akong babae, I tricked Tamara into coming."

Sinulyapan ko si Ellis nang panandaliang tumigil kasi baka may mga objections naman siya, but she gestured for me to go on.

"Anyway, nakita kami ni Azriel at Griffin. They did warn me about the curfew but who fuck-" A warning glare. "-pakpak, like a bird's wings, who pakpak cares when my stomach's loudly complaining? Kaya lumabas kami. Kagaya ni Tamara, tricking them was similar to talking to a child. Ah, no. Mas matalino pa nga minsan ang mga bata sa kanila. Pero on the way kasi... malapit kaming maabutan nina Helios," now, this bit is true. "So we thought, magtago muna tayo dito?" This one's a lie, though.

"We thought or you thought?"

I waved a hand. "Semantics."

"It's literally not." she deadpanned. "At saan sa ipinaliwanag mo ang sagot sa tanong ni Paham?"

I blinked, looking at Paham dumbly. "Sorry. What was the question again?"

I know Ellis is just two seconds away from spouting a curse word that Dad's been stopping me for an hour now.

"Hindi ako nagtatakang nagtago kayo, Miss Tempest. Ngunit, bakit niyo naisipang buksan ang kwartong 'yon sa simpleng pagtatago lang? At paano niyo nabuksan ang pintuang 'yon?"

"Curiosity leads you to places you should never be. And I am a master at picking locks."

Hindi ko alam kung pinaniwalaan nila ako o hindi. Basta't tumahimik lang silang tatlo pagkatapos ng huling sinabi ko. Paham had an annoyingly mysterious smile on his face, iyong tipong masarap punitin sa mukha niya.

"Gano'n ba?" he asked and I couldn't hear the belief and sincerity in his voice. It's as if he's facing a kid who needs careful understanding. "Hindi nakakapagtaka sapagka't espesyal na susi lamang ang makakapagbukas no'n. Ang kwartong iyon ay sinarado mismo ni Ryuu at siya lang ang tanging may permiso ngunit maari ding-" he stopped, looking sideways.

"Do you think Tsukishima gave it to Raven?"

I scoffed at Ellis' accusation. "How many times should I tell you na wala nga akong key! And what does Tsukki has to do with this? Tingin mo ibibigay sa kaniya ni Ryuu ang susi dahil sa-?"

"Dahil sa anak niya? So he trusts him."

I was left stunned. Napaawang ang labi ko at nanatili lang akong nakatitig kay Ellis na parang tinubuan siya ng dalawang ulo bigla. I looked at my father for confirmation, but he was staring outside the window with a faraway mind. Si Paham na sunod kong sinulyapan ay tumango naman.

"Wait- 'di nga?! Seriously? He's Ryuu's son?!" I screeched, making them nod again. "But he's a hundred years old-"

"Ha? Si Ryuu?" sarkastikong tumawa ang kapatid ko. "He's not even fifty yet, for Hiraya's sake! The Second War happened just a few decades ago, Raven! Hindi centuries!"

My gosh! Paano ko naman malalaman 'di ba? They write the books as if they happened a hundred years ago! Hindi pa naman ako magaling sa history kaya malay ko sa mga dates na 'yan. And even with the memory shit because I can't even remember the food I ate yesterday!

I mean, that's ignoring all the other meals I ate and overlooking the fact that I remember how many times Griffin picked his nose.

But then, aside from the age, is Tsukishima really that person's son? A man from the history books, banned and villainized, has a child who lacks brain cells and social cues?

Natigilan ako nang maalala ang nangyari kanina sa silid na 'yon. Oo nga pala at sinabi din ni Ryuu na anak niya si Tsukki. What's stranger is that the dumb boy also has Sarienne as his mother. Setting aside how he never inherited his parents' intelligence, how is it that their family is so messy? Si Sarienne kasal na pero nagka-anak pa rin kay Tsukki at mukhang may history pa kay Lionel, kung sino man ang taong 'yon.

"Anyway, Tsukki didn't give anything. Ayoko ngang makipag-usap sa kaniya lagi."

Nawawala ang braincells ko kapag nagkikita kami. Hindi pa nakakatulong ang imoko o endoko na lagi niyang sinasabi pero 'di ko naman naiintindihan. Magbestfriends talaga sila ni Helios na may pagka-show off din ng language skills niya.

I crossed my legs, glancing at Dad who became quiet now. He wasn't even looking at us, just staring outside the window. Siguro'y naramdaman na lang niya ang nakakapasong titig ko dahil lumingon siya't nagulat nang magtama ang tingin namin.

He approached Paham. I waited silently, lowkey inching closer to hear whatever they were discussing, but my Dad whispered the damn thing. Ano 'yan? Bakit ba ang hilig nilang magtago ng sikreto? Can't they just talk and explain whatever things to me?

"Nakapagdesisyon na kami, Miss Tempest." ani Paham pagkatapos ng usapan, o bulungan, nila ni Dad. "Kagaya ng sabi ni Miss Ellis, hindi ka namin pwedeng paalisin lang ng walang parusa kahit ano pang gawin ni Helios. Dahil nandoon ang Academy council, kailangang may kabigatan ang parusa mo. Kaya napagdesisyunan naming ilagay ka sa Salière sa loob ng dalawang araw."

"Salière?"

"A shortcut for sans lumière, which is french for without light. In short, ikukulong ka namin sa kwartong hindi bibisitahin ng kahit anong liwanag." paliwanag ni Ellis. "Of course, we will still give you food to eat, so you'll have light during that."

"Wow, thanks ha."

She didn't mind my sarcasm and talked to Paham and Dad. They kept their voices hushed as if naman makikinig ako sa kung ano mang chika nila. Little do they know that I'm keeping a secret as big as theirs, and they're not aware that I'm slowly discovering things. Tama lang sa kanila na paspecial sa lahat ng bagay.

"Tara, Raven." Ellis gestured for me to get up, heading to the door. "I'll escort you to the Salière. Kailangan ko na ring bumalik at magpaliwanag sa council."

I gave a hesitating nod before looking at Dad. Hindi na siya tumingin ulit pa sa'kin hanggang sa makalabas kami ni Ellis sa kwarto. I followed her silently, as quiet as every interaction we had alone for the past nineteen years. Hindi nag-uusap o kahit magpalitan ng masasamang salita man lang. Our conversation only includes her scoldings and me fighting back.

We turned into a corridor that was unfamiliar to my eyes. It was an empty hallway, with painted frames every twenty meters and a dimly lit, arched ceiling. The only source of light was the sconce on the wall, the bright candlestick creating the shadows around us. Unti-unting dumilim ang corridor hanggang sa makapunta kami sa dulo, kung saan mayroong hagdan pababa. Maingat akong bumaba kasama si Ellis at bumungad ang isang sally port.

"Am I some dangerous criminal that needs to be seriously locked up?" I joked.

Ellis opened the door, ushering me inside before answering, "You are... quite similar to one."

Isinara niya ang pintuan. I chuckled at her answer, finding it as sarcasm or something similar to a joke. Ibig niya bang sabihin ang reputasyon ko sa school na 'to or my performance in that Obstacle War that made the students afraid of me?

Unlike my previous experience at the Archives, everything in this room was pitch black. The nocturnal senses that I once felt were entirely gone, and now everything is pitch black. Lahat. Wala akong nakikita kahit na ano.

I started walking backward, knowing I would eventually bump into a wall. When I did, I slowly sat down, closing my eyes and calming my breathing. The problem isn't the darkness, but the insanity that it brings. I'm not afraid of the dark, it has comforted me in the past, but I haven't stayed inside it for so long. Hindi ko alam kung anong pwedeng mangyari.

And the silence makes me think a lot. It brings back a lot of memories that were already buried long ago.

"Dad! I punched a boy!"

I ran to the library where my Dad and Ellis usually spend their afternoon. Palaging tinuturuan ni Dad ang nakakatandang kapatid ng mga importanteng gawain, kagaya ng pagpapahalaga sa reputasyon namin at pagpapalakas ng koneksiyon. He was, however, distracted at my announcement. Nakasimangot niya akong nilingon at masuring tinitigan mula ulo hanggang paa.

"You did what, Raia?!"

I shrank at the volume of his voice. "I punched a boy kasi... kasi, he tried to kiss me in the cheeks and I don't want nga!"

"Sino ang lalaking sinuntok mo?!"

"I don't know his name. It sounds stupid, something like- uh, Moore ata? I don't know!" I stomped my feet. "What's important, Dad, is that he didn't get to kiss my cheeks because I punched the no to him! Hmph!"

"What's important, you stupid young lady, is that you punched a son of the Moores!" lumapit siya sa'kin at pinikot ang tainga ko, making me cry out loud. "Ano na lang ang sasabihin ng mga tao?! You cannot cause a scene!"

"But I don't want him to kiss my cheeks!"

"Then say no!"

I glared at my father over my lashes. Bingi ba siya?! "I already did! He didn't listen!"

"Did you properly say no, Raven? Baka naman sinigawan mo lang siya kaya nagalit at nagpumilit?" Mom asked, entering the library with a dolled-up Flair behind her.

"I said 'no'," I copied Ellis' polite tone. "But he didn't back down so I had to punch him."

"You can just push him aside and walk away or let him kiss you. Why did you have to cause a scene?" problemadong napaupo sa silya si Dad, his palm on his forehead.

I watched Mom comfort my father, with both my sisters staring at me. Hindi ko mapigilang mapatingin sa sarili ng makita ang suot nila. Their beautiful clothes looked so expensive against my dirtied uniform and bloodied knuckles. Kinuyom ko ang kamao sa distansiyang nakikita sa pamilya namin kahit na nasa iisang silid lang kami.

From then on, my father insisted that I'll be homeschooled. He kept me away from the outside world, always preventing me from causing any scene to protect the family's image.

A door creaking open put me on alert. Bumukas ang mata ko na unti-unting nag-adjust sa liwanag na dahan-dahang pumasok sa silid. I didn't notice myself fall asleep last night.

Umayos ako ng upo dahil baka si Ellis na 'yan na may dalang pagkain. Hindi naman ako gutom at hindi umiiyak ang tiyan ko sa pagkain but it probably will in a while. Hindi naman pwedeng hintayin ko ang susunod na pagbisita ni Ellis at baka kalansay ko na lang ang matagpuan niya dito.

It took a couple of minutes when my eyes have gone used to the light, for the door to fully open. At ang ini-expect kong si Ellis ay napalitan ng higanteng tuta. I stared at Helios in front of me, with no food but an outstretched palm.

I dragged my gaze to it, tilting my head curiously. "Is there an invisible food in your hand that I must lick?"

Kaagad niyang inayos ang kamay para magmukhang inaaya niya akong lumabas. I continued staring at it, holding my place because I do not want to get into further trouble.

"What are you doing here?"

He blinked, his position now going awkward but I didn't care.

"I heard what happened."

Tumaas ang kilay ko. "Anong oras na ba?"

"Half past noon. I offered to bring you food because Ellis Tempest has something else to do."

"At saan ang pagkain?" paninigurado ko.

"Outside," he even picked up the lunch basket to show it to me. "Do you want to eat with me?"

"If you still don't understand it, I'm inside the prison to be punished, araw. Not to eat with you outside and get into trouble again." I gestured for him to come closer. "Bilis. Bigay mo na lang pagkain ko."

"No. Don't worry. I'll tell them it was my decision."

We stared each other down, not looking away until somebody gives in. The cold, dark room was starting to heat up, roaming around the floor to touch the tip of my fingers. His golden eyes never wavered, nor did his outstretched hand got tired.

Tumayo ako. "Kapag ako mas napahamak, uupakan kita."

His brows furrowed. "U-Uupakan? What's that?"

I rolled my eyes, grabbing the lunch basket when I got close. He didn't bother closing the Salière, muttering that we'll go back after I have my lunch and he just wants to show me something.

"Uupakan ba. Kamo aatakehin kita hanggang sa mahulog ang ulo mo at sisipain ko siya palayo. Tapos hahatiin mo katawan mo para pang-adobo." I peeked at the basket, slightly drooling when the delicious aroma hit my nose. "Saan ba tayo kakain? Don't tell me pinalabas mo 'ko para lang kumain tayo dito sa hagdan?"

"No, I- I meant to show you something." I watched him fumble around for nothing, until he scratched his neck and walked first. "Follow me."

"Siyempre. Alangan namang i-follow ko ang wala dito kung tayong dalawa lang."

Kumunot ang noo ko nang makita ang gumagalaw niyang balikat. When we arrived at the corridor, I walked beside him, trying to see his reaction. Hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti nang makita ang parang tanga niyang mukha. Mahina siyang natatawa, pilit na tinatago ang ngiti sa likod ng kamay. When he saw me staring, his cheeks flushed and he tried to hide his face.

"What?!" I argued, trying to take his hands off. "Come on, what were you even laughing at? Mukha ba akong joke o may nasabi akong joke?"

I continued following his lead, ignoring how many turns and corners we took. Hindi ko na rin tinanong ulit kung saan ba kami pupunta dahil nakuha na niya ang interes ko. I wanted to know why he laughed.

"Adobo?" he chuckled. "How did you even come up with that? Chop my body and turn it into adobo? Pft. Why adobo specifically?"

I shrugged. "Iyon lang alam kong lutuin, e."

He hummed. Iginala ko naman ang tingin nang makalabas kami sa kastilyo, at tulad nga ng sinabi niya kanina ay mukhang tanghali na. The concrete path was thoroughly cleaned of the leaves that fell on the early morning already, and there were no students outside anymore. Sa kaliwang banda ay may nakikita akong labas-pasok sa library, which is the students' primary hang-out place when they have no class.

Unlike them, Helios had other plans. He continued to deviate from the academy buildings, even going out of the pathway. We passed inside a small forest, going through bushes and small trees, which was uncanny for Helios' personality. One look at him and you can already guess his stuck-up and genius attitude. A total nerd-by-the-book who follows every rule to the ground.

To see him walk outside the supposed pathway is strange.

"What's your favorite food?" tanong niya makalipas ang ilang minuto ng katahimikan.

I pushed a stray branch from my face before replying, "I have a lot of favorites so I don't really know. But I guess, I like sweets."

"Like cake?"

Ngumiti ako. "Yep! Second sila in my favorites."

"I'm glad." he pushed a leafy bush away and gently pulled me outside. "I baked you some."

Whatever he said didn't register on my mind anymore because my eyes were glued on the scenery in front. It was a large meadow, with poppies and tulips growing around. The wild grasses danced with the wind's rhythm, bits of leaves and petals carried towards my long, flowing hair. Helios was heading to a large willow tree, the shade looming over the beautiful and clear lake. Above, the sky looked as peaceful as ever, with the sun just as hot and the clouds hanging far and beyond. Sa malayo ay nagtataasan ang iba't ibang bukid at mula din dito'y nahahagilap ko ang malayong palasyo.

"This is so beautiful." hindi ko mapigilang paghanga.

"It is," he agreed with a soft smile. "I always stay here when I feel... when everything feels heavy."

"I can see why."

It's just so peaceful and free.

Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa malinis na trunk ng willow tree at sa pasaway na isip ay may nagawang ideya. Helios watched me suspiciously pick up a small knife, facing the trunk and carving my first name's initial in a curvy handwriting.

"Raven was here." I proudly announced, letting my visit into this place to live on forever.

The spark of heat behind made me stiffen. A sturdy chest touched my back and his hand appeared from my side. With a point of his finger, he carved or well, burned, the initial of his first name just below mine. The letters 'R' and 'H' stared back at my dumbfounded self.

He withdrew, giving me enough space to look back at his excited face.

"Raven and Helios were here." nakangiting pag-ayos niya.

As I stared into his eyes in this meadow where the wind lovingly sighs, I couldn't help but smile.