Soulmates. the were a thing, or at least thats what Doc had heard his whole life. everyone had a soulmate and everyone had matching marks. Doc knew his was on the back of his neck, he'd never personally seen it, but he knew it was on his neck. sometime after turning 40, he started covering it. he was beginning to think he didn't have one, or maybe his was dead, when he felt it one day. the pain. Soulmates could feel each others pain and his soulmate had to be the clumsiest person on the planet. or maybe they had a dangerous job. they were almost always in pain and it was bad enough that Doc tried to take better care of himself so his soulmate wouldn't go around feeling his pain as well. he had no expectations of ever meeting his soulmate, especially when he moved into Radiator Springs. it was interesting to see the others our here. Flo and Ramone had matching symbols on their hands, the two were happy soulmates. Guido and Luigi had matching symbols on their arms. Doc had quickly learned soulmate didn't always mean lover when he met those two. they were best friends, not lovers. Sheriff had his over his heart, though his wife had died many years ago in an accident. Sally had hers on her inner right calf. he hadn't really seen Reds or Maters, but he knew Maters was on his foot. by the time he hit 60 Doc had completely accepted he would die without meeting his soulmate. until one day, about a year ago.

it had been the middle of summer, it was hot, and court was in session. someone had torn through Radiator Springs and made a mess of everything. Doc wasn't having a good morning, apparently his soulmate hadn't had a good night. his eye was throbbing this morning, but he ignored it.

"alright Sheriff, I wanna know who's responsible for wreckin' my town last night. I'm gonna put him in jail 'til the jail rots on top of him. I'm g-..." Doc cut himself off. the man in front of him couldn't be more than 24, probably about 40 years younger than Doc, and he an air of arrogance around him. he looked up and gave Doc a sheepish smile. his left eye was swollen shut and Doc was immediately reminded his left eye was throbbing. he blinked slightly, there was a pain in the back of his neck. the younger man shifted some, reaching up to rub the back of his own neck. "throw him outta here. I want him out of my courtroom Sheriff, outta my town. case dismissed." Doc had said. of course then Sally had come in and made a mess of everything, but after a while he'd found himself grateful.

now a year later, Doc was beginning to get nervous. he and Lightning, the young man who had wrecked his town last year and pretended to be an asshole, but was really a sweetheart, had become almost friends. the two would have a beer together after training, relax with the others from Radiator Springs after a race. the kid was getting better at racing and they were becoming fast friends. Lightning had even told him about his past, the abuse he'd suffered at the hands of his father, the running away from home as soon as he could. Doc understood why the younger had acted the way he had.

right now the two were sitting outside of Flos, talking with Sally and Sheriff, but Docs attention was on Red. the younger man was rubbing his shoulder a lot lately, ever since he'd met Mack. Mack, Lightnings driver, was an interesting character too. none of Docs business, but he'd seen both of their symbols. the two were soulmates, doesn't wasn't sure which kind. friends or lovers. Doc had been watching the two carefully, paying more attention to the two talking than his own conversation.

"Doc?" Lightning ask, raising an eye brow.

"hmm?" Doc ask turning quickly to look at them.

"you okay?" Sally ask worriedly.

"yeah just wondering when Red and Mack are going to realize their soulmates." Doc said.

"what?" Lightning ask.

"how do you know that?" Sheriff ask.

"I'm the town doctor. I've seen all of your soulmate marks." Doc said. "when Red came in last week with that sunburn, from watching you race kid," Doc said looking at Lightning. "I saw his mark. on his right shoulder. look at him rub it when Mack gets too close." Doc said, turning against to look at Red. Mack had of course walked over to talk to him and Red winced, a little rubbing his shoulder. it would hurt the both of them until they realized they were soulmates. the others turned to look, but Sally paused, catching a glimpse at the back of Docs neck. his mark was poking out over his shirt collar today. her eyes widened a little and she immediately looked away, staring at Red.

"and when did you see Macks?" Lightning ask curiously.

"remember when Chick smashed your hand in the car door and broke it?" Doc ask.

"yeah." Lightning frowned.

"Mack pulled his shirt off and wrapped it around your hand." Doc said. "same spot same mark." Doc said.

"cool we can give them a push." Lightning said.

"you don't interfere with soulmates kid." Doc said, turning around. he met Sallys eye and raised an eye brow, she was staring at him funny. "what?" he ask, frowning.

"nothing! just wondering... uh, why we've never seen your soul mark." Sally said. Doc raised an eye brow at her.

"because my soulmate is probably just as old as I am and hundreds of miles away. not to mention, I've never seen mine why the hell should you?" Doc ask.

"yeah where is yours?" Sheriff ask, looking at him.

"I'm sorry when did this turn into asking about my soul mark? I thought we were talking about Red and Mack?" Doc frowned.

"well I can fix that. hey Sally give me a rubber band." Lightning said. Sally always kept one on her wrist, in case she needed it for a hair tie. she gave him an odd look and handed it to him. Lightning pulled back as hard as he could and launched it. "ow! fuck! got my finger with that." Lightning muttered, shaking his hand off. Doc made a face slightly, fingers twitching. Sally looked up at Doc and he narrowed his eyes at her catching her gaze. he turned back to Mack and Red. Mack was watching Red walk away quickly. he'd managed to get hit in the back of the head with the rubber band and Red had reacted to the pain as well.

"hey Red! hold on!" Mack said, following after him.

"sweet. match maker!" Lightning grinned, pumping his fist. he turned to look at Sally and paused. "why are you staring at Doc like that?" Lightning ask. Doc turned to look at Sally again, shooting her a glare.

"the hells with you?" Doc ask.

"oh I'm just looking." Sally said before scurrying away. Doc raised an eye brow at her before shaking his head and walking off towards his house.

"well that was weird." Lightning mumbled. he headed after Sally. "hey! Sally!" Lightning called following her. Sally looked at him.

"whats up Stickers?" Sally ask.

"you've never seen Docs soul mark?" he ask.

"no... why... have you?" she ask. he nods.

"yeah back when we first met. I said somethings and he showed me his scars from the wreck that ruined his career." Lightning explained with a shrug.

"so you know its on his neck?" Sally ask.

"yeah just under the collar of his shirt. I've seen it a couple times, like when he was working on my broken hand." Lightning shrugged.

"have you seen your own?" Sally ask.

"no? I don't even know where mine is." Lightning said.

"really? your 25 and you don't know its in the same place as Docs?" Sally ask. Lightning stepped back staring at her.

"what the hell are you talking about?" Lightning ask.

"you heard me." Sally said. "I watched him when you popped Mack with the rubber band. his head twitched and he winced at the same time you got hurt." Sally said.

"thats impossible." Lightning said.

"when you broke your hand, he started favoring his own hand until you got better." Sally said.

"thats impossible Sally. our Soul marks would hurt if we got too close to our soul mates." Lightning said, rolling his eyes.

"and you've never noticed Doc rubbing the back of his neck if you get too close?" Sally ask.

"yeah, but he's old so he's always rubbing something that hurts." Lightning shrugged. "mine doesn't hurt around him." Lightning huffed. Sally frowned and looked over, Doc had been stopped by Sheriff near his house. it wasn't far from the Cone.

"I can prove it." Sally said. she reached up and smacked Lightning hard in the back of the head.

"ow! hey!" Lightning glared rubbing the back of his head.

"look see?" Sally ask, pointing. Doc had an odd look on his face and he shook his head a little, rubbing the back of it. Sheriff was staring at him confused. he said something neither could hear and headed into his house, still rubbing the back of his head. "told you." Sally smirked.

"Doc said his soulmate is clumsy, I'm not clumsy." Lightning huffed. Sally rolled her eyes.

"he said his soulmate was always in pain. you told me you were abused as a kid." Sally said.

"I'm 44 years younger than him Sally. he's not my soulmate." Lightning snapped.

"oh yeah. get a picture of your mark, then compare it to Docs next time you see it." Sally smirked.

"it can't be Doc." Lightning said.

"and why not?" Sally glared.

"because he hates me! duh! I annoy him, bother him, make him angry. he hates me Sally, you don't hate your soulmate." Lightning said firmly, storming off. Sally watched him go and sighed, heading to Doc house. she knocked on the door and Doc opened it looking confused.

"Sally?" Doc ask.

"your mark matches Stickers mark." Sally said. Doc raised an eye brow.

"you've never seen mine." he said after a moment.

"I've seen enough of it to know it matches his." Sally said firmly. "and I can prove it! look see him over there?" Sally ask. Doc nodded and she pulled back like she was going to hit him. immediately he grabbed her arm.

"hit me and I'll break your arm." Doc warned. Sally huffed.

"you idiots are too stubborn to see it." Sally said.

"Sally he's too young to be my soulmate. I've got someone out there, they're just as old as I am." Doc said.

"don't believe me?" Sally ask.

"no." Doc said. Sally pulled her phone out and grabbed Doc, turning him around quickly and pulling his shirt back. Doc gave an odd choked sound as she took a picture. he smacked her hand off and growled at her. "hey!" he hissed.

"look you idiot!" Sally snapped. "<i>this is your mark! its exactly like his!" Sally said. Doc reached forward, grabbed her phone, and tossed it onto the couch away from him.

"no its not." Doc said.

"I don't get it why won't you-" Sally tried.

"he's got a similar one. you see that big ass mark all the way through it?" Doc hissed. "when I got in my wreck, I destroyed my mark." Doc hissed. "ruined it." Doc muttered.

"Doc you-" Sally tried.

"don't you get it!?" Doc hissed. Sally looked confused. "I don't have a soulmate!" Doc hissed.

"everyone has one Doc." Sally said. he huffed a snort.

"maybe I did 50 years ago, but now I don't. so drop it." Doc snapped. "besides kids straight." Doc hissed, opening his door. "now get out." he mutters.

"but Doc I-" Sally tried.

"out!" Doc hissed.

"you knew didn't you?" she asks.

"no, but I had suspicions, now get out." Doc hissed.

"you have to tell him." Sally glared.

"would you fuck off? get out of my personal life? fucking understand!?" Doc hissed. "now get the hell out of my house!" he shouted. Sally sighed softly and grabbed her phone, leaving the house. Doc slammed the door hard behind her. Sally flinched. she headed immediately for the Cozy Cone Lightning stayed in.

"Stickers!! let me in!" she shouts. Lightning opens the door confused and Sally shoves her way.

"Sally? what do you want? here to hit me in the back of the head again?" Lightning ask.

"I know why your mark doesn't hurt when you get near Doc." Sally said.

"because he's not my soulmate?" Lightning ask.

"because his wreck put scars through it. he feels your pain but I bet you don't feel any of his do you? you don't feel his aching the pain in your mark because his is damaged and can't relay the pain." Sally said. Lightning looked confused.

"why are you so sure he's mine?" Lightning ask.

"shit off now." Sally said. Lightning looked confused but did as she said. "back up to the mirror." Sally said. Lightning again did as she said. she held up a small mirror from her bag. "now look at your mark." Sally said. Lightning angled the mirror until he saw his own soulmark. he froze.

"it uh..." he trails.

"looks just like his huh?" Sally ask. Lightning got quiet. he nodded slightly.

"if I can't feel anything from his mark though... there's no way. I can't Sally. it can't happen. he's..." Lightning trailed.

"what? old? broken?" Sally ask.

"no... he hates me." Lightning said. "I brought up once that marks looked similar and he threw me out of the house, weren't you curious as to why I was living here again and not in his spare room?" Lightning ask. Sally gave him a confused look.

"he just threw you out?" Sally ask.

"sort of... I kinda ran off. I've been avoiding him. he's still got most my stuff and my car is still in his garage." Lightning mumbled.

"come on. we'll go get your stuff Stickers. if Doc wants to die alone thats his thing, but I'll stay with you every time." Sally murmured.

"yeah but you have your own soulmate." Lightning muttered.

"Stickers, my soulmate died in LA. thats why I left. three days to the wedding, she died in a car accident." Sally murmured softly. "so I don't have one... and if Docs going to ignore you, then you don't have one either." Sally added. Lightning nods, smiling slightly.

"but... if he up and decides to change his mind... decides he doesn't want to die alone... where's that leave you?" Lightning ask.

"hanging out with the best couple in town, I mean, Red and Mack are going to be cute together." Sally grinned. "and being supportive of you. who knows, maybe I'll get a second chance. I bet thats why you're 44 years younger than Doc and his soulmate." Sally said.

"just don't say anything about it. okay? just drop it. he's not.... I don't get a choice here if he doesn't want to accept it." Lightning said. "and I'd rather not think that my only other purpose in life, besides racing, is unreachable." Lightning said.

"thats not.... just come on." Sally said. she lead him back to Docs house.

"what the hell do you want?" he snapped.

"Stickers just wants his stuff back Doc. didn't realize you threw him out when you realized who he was." Sally said. Doc glared and Lightning stared at her in horror.

"god can you shut the hell up and just help me get my shit?" Lightning snapped, pushing past her and Doc, staring intently at the ground as he walked past them. Sally frowned and followed him. Doc watched them.

"oh now your moving out?" Doc ask.

"yeah. can't stand the awkward silence anymore. I've been living in the cone again for two weeks. nothings changed, so I'm moving back in there." he mumbles, carrying a box out. he'd never fully unpacked his things.

"your stuffs already packed?" Doc ask. Lightning paused in the door way, before shaking his head.

"always keep my stuff packed and ready to run. I'm annoying and people don't generally keep me around long. surprised I lasted 6 months living with you. having lasted that long since that bastard father of mine broke his arm and actually needed my help." Lightning mumbled. "surprised I've lasted in this long in the town." he adds, walking away. Doc watches him go. Sally comes up behind him with another box.

"just because you don't think you deserve love, doesn't mean you should hurt him." Sally snaps. "he can't feel your pains with his mark, but you can feel his, so let me know when you feel his heart break, because I don't need a stupid mark to feel that shit." Sally hissed. "he's lived his whole life in boxes. running from pain, he's trying not to run from everyone. he belongs here and you're... being selfish." Sally snapped.

"I am-" Doc tried.

"don't worry. I unlocked the backdoor so he doesn't have to walk past you. wouldn't want you to feel that." she glares, closing the door. Doc stared after her. before heading to Lightnings room. he hadn't been in there. he'd respected the youngers privacy like his own was being respected. he was utterly surprised to see everything still packed up in boxes, except his clothes. his clothes were in two separate hampers. they probably had some organization to the younger but not to Doc.

"you didn't unpack anything? even after 6 months." Doc muttered looking around. "not a single thing." he mumbled.

"no. he didn't." Red muttered. Doc turned and looked at Red. he was leaned against the doorway. "he was scared." Red said.

"of what? me?" Doc ask. "I wouldn't... I wouldn't do anything." Doc muttered, looking around. Red shook his head.

"he was scared of you. he's scared of anyone older than him, taller, bigger, stronger. his childhood was hell." Red said. "he told me once he used to keep everything in Macks trailer, boxed up with his car. ready to run. thats what he always does. when people come out and say he's annoying. tell them they're tired of him or just start ignoring him, like you've done, he leaves. runs. like the scared kid he is." Red said, walking around Doc to grab a box.

"what are you doing?" Doc ask watching him.

"Sally ask me to help because he's just standing in the Cone staring at his stuff. probably trying to figure out what to do. now that he knows me and Mack are soulmates, he can't run with Mack anymore. he wouldn't do that to Mack, and its not like his soulmate seems to want him around. can you imagine how that feels? feeling like no one wants you your entire life... and then the one person made for you doesn't want to acknowledge that they're his soulmate." Red said.

"I'm not his soulmate." Doc said. Red shook his head at Doc, stacking up a couple boxes up and carrying them out.

"DOC!" Sally screamed. Doc ran towards the urgency in her voice.

"Sally? whose hurt?" Doc ask.

"i-its Stickers." Sally said. Doc nodded and headed for the Cone following her just as quickly as he could.

"what happened?" Doc ask.

"you don't happen to take hydrocodone do you?" Red ask.

"no but the kids got some, from when he got in that real back wreck and knocked a tooth out." Doc said. "why?" he ask. Red looked at Sally and Sally frowned.

"I think he took them. all of them." Sally said.

"he had a full 3 month bottle of pills. I just picked that up two days ago." Doc said.

"well, its empty." Sally said. Doc shoved passed them and ran towards the room.

"call an ambulance!" Doc shouted. he knelt beside Lightning. the kid was unconscious, empty bottle beside him. "kid don't do this." Doc said, starting CPR on him. "hey! don't do this to me kid!" Doc shouted. he wasn't sure how long he was over the younger before he was shoved out of the way by paramedics. "when the hell did this happen?" Doc snapped at Sally.

"he uh, must've taken them before I... he was just standing there... uh... " Sally said.

"any note?" Doc ask.

"not that I found." Sally said.

"there's a note. there's always a note." Mack said softly. Doc turned his head.

"what do you mean always?" Doc snapped.

"we met with a failed attempt, he had one a few years ago when I joked with him he was annoying.... he uh... he's always been suicidal. we just keep him running. guaranteed there's a note." Mack said, looking around. Doc started looking with him.

"got it." Sally said, holding up a paper. Doc took it from her, opening it. he started reading and stopped, holding it out to Mack.

"its addressed to you." Doc said. Mack took it and started reading.

"Mack, or whoever finds this, but it's probably Mack.

you're the only person I know whose actually going to know this note exists. the others'll think I'm pathetic. I know you won't. I dunno Mack. I thought I had a home here. I almost immediately realized my soulmate was here. they had to be. yours too. we were both drawn to this place... I thought I finally found home. its Doc by the way and I told him. he ignored me. things got awkward, I moved back out sort of. didn't take my stuff, I hoped he'd tell me to come back or something. he didn't though and he's not going to. took me way too long to realize this, but he hates me. he tolerates me, you all do. thats all anyone ever does. I'm tired of being tolerated. I just wanted someone to love me, but what are you gonna do when not even your soulmate wants you... my dad was right... I wish he could've killed me back then. I really do. happy you found your soulmate. I'm glad he loves you. m'sorry Mack, please don't hate me. not like Doc does. I'm sorry I'm his soulmate... I'm sorry he got such a shitty deal. I'm sorry... I'm apparently so awful he couldn't bare me as his partner. don't hate him though, don't let anyone hate him, its not his fault he got such a shitty soulmate. m'sorry. tell him I'm sorry. please don't hate me for this."

Mack looked away, clearing his throat.

"uh... he doesn't want me to hate him... doesn't want us to hate him like you do." Mack said staring at Doc. "doesn't want anyone to hate you, because its not your fault you got someone as awful as him for a soulmate." Mack said.

"but I don't-" Doc tried. Mack slammed him against the wall hard.

"HE THOUGHT YOU DID! HE THOUGHT YOU HATED HIM!" Mack shouted, slamming Doc against the wall harder. the older man saw stars in his vision, head falling forward. "maybe you should read the fucking note! he's sorry he's so awful you couldn't bare to be his soulmate." Mack hissed. his grip loosens slightly and he stares Doc down. "but most of all, he doesn't want anyone to hate you when he dies, because its not your fault, but it is. it is your fault." Mack hissed softly. "all he wanted was for someone to actually love him... but whats he supposed to do when the person made to love him, wants nothing to do with him?" Mack ask, finally letting go. he steps back some. "c'mon Red. we gotta get up to the hospital. I'm his emergency contact. he doesn't have anyone else." Mack said, grabbing Reds hand and leading him away.

the ride to the hospital was long and quiet, but the wait in the hospital was worse. eventually the others showed up, all but Doc and Sheriff. Sally tell him they left Sheriff their because Lightning would be distraught if Doc killed himself. Mack couldn't find it in himself to care though. after a few hours they let everyone in to see him. they'd pumped his stomach and put him on a 72 hour psych hold. they'd strapped him down and let everyone in to see him, but he wasn't talking to anyone. he wouldn't look at anyone, wouldn't say a single word.

"Stickers... why?" Sally ask. Lightning shook his head.

"you better start talking." Doc hissed, coming into the room, arms crossed over his chest. Lightning rolled his eyes silently and stared at the blanket laying over him.

"don't you think its shitty of you to show up? don't really think you belong here." Mack snapped. Red frowned and patted his arm slightly.

"I'll only talk to Mack." Lightning finally snapped quietly, voice raspy. Mack looked over.

"alright you heard him, everyone out." Sally said, shoving Doc out. the others filed out quickly. it was silent as Mack walked over to him. he sat down beside Lightning.

"so boss..." Mack trailed. "hydrocodone?" Mack ask. Lightning looked away.

"gonna scold me like you always do?" he ask.

"no, least you didn't jump out in front of a car again or start a fight with guys bigger than you so they'd beat you to death." Mack said. Lightning shrugged.

"I... I just...." Lightning sighed. "you kept telling me I didn't want to die because I have a soulmate out there. its what you tell me every time I try this.... wh-what am I supposed to live for now Mack?" Lightning ask, looking up tearfully. "what am I supposed to do when not even my soulmate loves me? wh-what do I do when the person thats supposed to... to love me, ha-hates my guts?" Lightning ask, looking away. he doesn't want Mack to see him cry, even if he can hear him cry. hearing him is different from seeing him. Mack sighs and takes his hand gently.

"I dunno boss... I really don't... I dunno what to tell you to live for anymore." Mack admits.

"you guys should've let me die there. I don't have a reason to live and I just don't care." Lightning said. "I didn' feel nothin'. I bet Doc didn' neither. I could've gone peacefully. he wouldn' 'ave felt a thing." Lightning said, wiping at the tears on his cheeks.

"he put you here and you still care more about him than he ever has you." Mack said softly. Lightning shrugged.

"I've loved him since I met him. even before I knew he was my soulmate. I wanted him. I love him, even if he hates me Mack. even if he never wants to be my soulmate. even if he never wants to see me again. I just... if I can't have the person made for me... can't I just die? please Mack. it'd be so easy. m'right here in a hospital, I could die so easily right here." he murmurs.

"stop talking like that boss." Mack begged softly. Lightning goes quiet for a few moments.

"I wanna talk to him." Lightning said, looking up at Mack. Mack swallowed hard and cleared his throat.

"I... no." Mack said, firmly. "no I don't think thats a good idea." Mack said.

"I didn't ask your opinion. I just want you to get him." Lightning said. Mack sighed slightly.

"you sure boss?" he ask. Lightning nods slightly. "okay." Mack murmurs softly, getting up. he pats the younger mans hand gently. "look I know its not the same, but I do love you boss." Mack murmurs, heading for the door. Lightning lays there a moment until the door opens up again and Doc walks in. he walks over to the bed quietly, looking him over.

"so.... this is my fault huh?" Doc asks. Lightning shrinks back some, suddenly wishing Mack had talked him out of this.

"m'sorry." Lightning mumbles. "they... they're gonna blame you. s'not what I want. I made sure to tell Mack t' tell everyone that." Lightning said. "s'all I wanted to say." Lightning mumbles.

"why'd you do this kid?" Doc ask. Lightning huffed at him.

"like you care. just go away old man. don't worry. soon as I get out of this stupid psych hold, I won't be your problem anymore. won' be any of you guys' problem. third times the charm? more like fourth time and a locked door... or I dunno. always wanted t' go down in a blaze of glory..... maybe I'll just... wonder what its like to get hit by a car.... y'know without being in a car.... " Lightning muttered, looking out the window.

"kid... you know if you tell me this shit, I have to tell them right? they're gonna keep you. evaluate your mental state." Doc said.

"great, they're gonna find I'm suicidal. they're gonna find I'm not going to quit trying." Lightning said.

"you're gonna ruin your racing career." Doc said.

"DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE!? GOD! FUCK MY GOD DAMN CAREER! THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR ME!" Lightning shouted, pulling at his restraints hard. Mack steps into the room quietly to watch them. "I don't care about my stupid career, the stupid races, I don't care about life! I don't want to fucking live! god fuck everything! you don't fucking get it do you? I don't have anything!" Lightning said. theres tears streaming down his face. "my friends think I'm crazy! my racing career has been in the toilet since I started! everyone I've ever met thinks I'm annoying! hates me! I've tried to kill myself twice before you fucking idiot! twice! and you know what Mack tells me everytime I wake the fuck up?" Lightning ask, glaring at Doc.

"what?" Doc ask softly.

"don't worry kid. everyone has someone out there for them. just wait. you'll find your soulmate. live for your soulmate." Lightning hissed. "well I did. I lived, just so my stupid soulmate could look me dead in the and tell me to get the hell out of his house, then have the nerve to come into my hospital room and look at me. I wanna fucking DIE!" Lightning hissed. "whats there to live for anymore? your whole purpose in life is supposed to live with your soulmate and enjoy life. well what happens when you get saddled with the worlds worst soulmate in the world? well your soulmate ends up hating you and you try to kill yourself, but you can't die. no matter how many times you try. well next time I'm not gonna make it easy to stop me. next time, I'm not waking up." Lightning hisses. his lip quivers and he stares across the room. "I wish I hadn't woken up this time." Lightning mumbled.

"kid... look... I... I don't hate you." Doc says softly.

"well you sure as hell don't love me." Lightning snapped. "the only reason you're here right now is because you feel guilt. what did you read my note or something?" he hissed.

"yeah.actually. I did. I didn't realize thats how you felt kid." Doc said, looking at him. "I don't hate you... but I... I'm not your soulmate." he says softly. Lightning glared slightly.

"Mack." Lightning choked. Mack walked over. "gimmie a pen or something." Lightning said. Mack grabbed a pen.

"not going to kill yourself with it right?" Mack ask.

"can't reach. stupid cuffs make sure of that." Lightning hissed. Mack nodded and handed him the pen. Lightning looks at it a moment, before looking at Doc. he stares him down and angrily jams the pen into his own leg hard. immediately Docs eyes widened and he held his leg.

"fuck! what did you do that for?!" Doc hissed.

"why are you shouting? you're not my soulmate right? I didn't stab you. I stabbed my own leg. not yours." Lightning said, staring him down. "go away." he mumbled. Mack sighs at the younger on the bed, grabbing the pin to make sure he didn't hurt himself too bad.

"okay Doc, lets go." Mack said, shoving him towards the door.

"wait..." Lightning said. both looked over. "just once, ya know, before I die, can you tell me you love me? thats really all I want." Lightning mumbled, looking at Doc.

"no, because you aren't dying. I'm going to tell them to extend your psych hold." Doc said, walking out of the room. Lightnings shoulders fell and he looks away.

"I really have to be something awful if my own fucking soulmate doesn't love me." Lightning said quietly.

Doc went and chatted with the doctors before sitting with their friends, but he could tell they really didnt want him there. he heard some doctors chatting and frowned.

"room 118?" Doc mumbles. "shit! kids trying to kill himself again!" Doc shouted watching some people rush to the room. he jumped up along with Mack, running towards the room. Doc winces his feet are aching.

"don't see why you care." Mack glared.

"I care about the kid damn it. I'm just not willing to set myself up with another soulmate! the last one shot himself and I'm not getting myself another." Doc snapped.

"yeah, sound like a real great soulmate when both of your chances kill themselves." Mack hissed. the stopped in the room doorway. there's a nurse bleeding on the floor and the younger man is standing in the window, looking down at the city. the glass is already shattered and the doctors can't get close enough because he could jump at any second. "you've got to fix this. this is all your fault." Mack said, shoving Doc forward. Doc frowned at him before inching forward.

"hey kid." Doc said. he saw Lightning tense up, stepping a little closer to the edge. "hey, hey! don't do that." Doc said pausing in his tracks.

"what do you care?" Lightning hissed.

"kid you've got your whole life a head of you-" Doc starts.

"spare me the doctor crap." Lightning glares facing him. "no I don't have my whole life a head of me, so just shut the fuck up. there's nothing you can say that can stop this Doc." he adds.

"Boss, please, just come on down from the window. everythings gonna be okay." Mack assures gently reaching his hand out when he gets close enough. Lightning huffs out his nose.

"you might want to attend to the nurse. didn't want to hurt her, but she really shouldn't have undone the cuff." he says, glancing at the nurse, before turning back to the two. "I'm really sorry you had to see this Mack... I'm just glad its you and not Red... I don't want to leave this in Reds head. Sally doesn't deserve to see it and Mater would end up going out the window with me because he's my best friend. the others would all try and talk me down, but this has been a long time coming and you can't stop me this time Mack. I'm going out this window." Lightning says. "I would invite you to go with me but again, I can't do that to Red." Lightning says.

"boss, we can get you help. serious help that you need, like I should've done the first time you tried this or the second time. this time I will get you help." Mack promises. Lightning chuckles slightly.

"I'm not the one whose gonna need help. they're gonna need help to get me off the sidewalk." he laughs. Doc reaches for his hand and Lightning glares at him, stepping back as fasr as he can to the edge. "don't touch me." he hisses. "don't touch me, don't look at me, don't come near me! just leave me alone! don't you get it? this is what you wanted. right? so don't pretend to be my friend and knock it off with the doctor shit. I hate doctors. 15 years of abuse and not a single doctor called CPS to let them know I was in trouble." Lightning glared. Doc grabs his arm carefully.

"kid get down from there. stop that." Doc hissed.

"I'm going out this window. you can decide right now if you're going to watch or not, but if you don't let go, you're going down with me." Lightning promises. "I'm not going to be stopped this time." he glares, yanking his arm free. Mack was quick to grab his shirt when he stumbled back. pulled him up and held onto it.

"don't do this boss." Mack said.

"let go." Lightning hissed.

"we can fix this boss." Mack promises.

"no we can't." Lightning glares.

"come on kid. don't do this. there are people that love you. Mack loves you, Red and Sally. kid come on." Doc says.

"just go away." Lightning hisses. "I'm sorry you got such an awful soulmate!" Lightning shouts.

"no kid. its not you. it's me. I'm sorry that you got such a shitty soulmate. I'm sorry you got stuck with me. come down and we can fix this." Doc says softly.

"no we can't." Lightning glared. "I didn't get stuck with you. I never had you. I never got the chance, but I wanted it so bad. more than anything. I would've given up every piston cup in my name for a shot at it, but you didn't love me and I get that. but I'm done living for a person who is never going to love me back. you told me to get out. get out! I'm not your soulmate!" Lightning hissed.

"kid my soulmate died back in '64. when he shot himself in the head. I'm not your lover. I'm supposed to be your friend." Doc said quietly.

"I don't care. I don't care anymore. I'm done. I'm annoying, I'm loud, I'm over enthusiastic, you people are tired of me. I know you all are. I see the tired looks you all give each other after I talk to you. god I'm so awful. why don't you people just hit me? beat me! like a punching bag! its all I've ever been good for! the only reason the people who brought me into this world kept me. too bad they didn't take me out of this stupid world too." Lightning hissed.

"boss, we'd never.... no one has ever looked at you like that." Mack says. Lightning pulls on his shirt.

"yes they do. now let go!" Lightning glared.

"kid come on, I may not be in love with you, but I do love you. I love you kid, don't do this." Doc says watching his feet teeter on the edge. Lightning lets out a tearful bark of laughter.

"its too late for that." he hisses. he kicks off Mack hard knocking him to the ground and sending Lightning flying out the window.

"KID!" Doc shouted running forward to try and grab him. he misses by an inch when Mack grabs his leg to keep him from going out the window too. "NO! what did you do that for!? I could've grabbed him!" Doc hissed, staring down at the ground. he turns away quickly, eyes shut. the loud crunch is deafening. the car he landed on is crushed and the alarm is going off. people are screaming and panicking, but all Mack can do is pull Doc out of the window when he stumbles at the rush of pain in his body. his body isn't meant to handle this anymore and Macks not sure what to do when he collapses, so he screams for a doctor, calling the attention of all their friends. immediately they came racing in.

"what happened?" Red ask. Mack looked up from where he was knelt beside Doc, as doctors pushed him away.

"he... w-we couldn't stop him." Mack said, looking towards the window. Red ran over to the window, but Mack grabbed him. "don't look. you don't need to see him like that." Mack mumbled. Red froze, realizing what Mack meant.

"he... jumped...?" Red managed.

"no!" Sally screaming, shoving them out of her way to look out the window. the car alarm was still going off, but they'd covered the man with a sheet now.

"he really did it." Sheriff muttered, looking at from the window then down at Doc.

"I got no pulse here." one of the nurses muttered.

"what happened?" Mater ask, almost hesitantly.

"he jumped... Doc was his soulmate. guess his body couldn't take it." Mack said, watching them rush Doc out of the room. "we tried to stop him. I thought we almost had him.... but I think what bothered him the most, was realizing his life was over. his careers gone, they won't take him back after a suicide attempt.... his family didn't want him, they beat the hell out of him. even his soulmate didn't want him." Mack said.

"but I thought you said Doc was his soulmate?" Ramone ask.

"he was, but back in '64 Docs original soulmate put a bullet in his mouth. if my maths correct, that lines up around the time he stopped going by Hud and started going by Doc. guess he couldn't handle watching his soulmate kill himself.... but he tried. he really tried. he tried so hard to save the boss, he almost went out the window with him, I had to grab him to keep him from trying to grab the boss. he was already out the window. too far gone. there was nothing we could've done to save him." Mack said. Red crouched beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder gently. Mack immediately wrapped his arms tightly around him, burying his tearful face in the others shoulder.

"so uh... he's really gone then." Sheriff mumbled.

"I didn' get t' say goodbye." Mater said quietly. Sheriff patted the younger back gently, hugging him.

"what about Doc?" Sally ask.

"I don't.... he, uh... I don't know... he was so determined to die alone that he let an innocent man die." Mack said, shakily standing. Red didn't let go for a second, holding him tightly. "I tried... but I couldn't hate him for it. I was angry yeah but... it was my fault. I should've gotten him help after his second attempt." Mack said.

"not your fault Mack. the kid didn't want to live anymore. there's nothing anyone could've done." Sheriff says.

"yeah I guess... we should check on Doc." Mack says, heading out of the room. the others slowly follow casting glances into the room as they go.

the funerals are held a week later. they're not sure where to bury the two, so they chose just outside the Butte, decided it was best they finally be together, even if it was only in death. it would give the younger man peace in the afterlife, or that was their hope at least. their quiet little town, had become just that again. the man who brought the light and life back, took it with him out the window.