ethan

Jesus fucking christ.

I am in so much pain.

What happened?

I open my eyes, looking around as I slowly start waking up, concerned as I found myself in a hospital room.

Shit.

As I got up, I was pleasantly surprised to no injuries whatsoever.

Weird but okay.

"Hello? Can anyone tell me where my family is?"

They would come to the hospital to see me right?

Tyler must be worried sick.

Mom is probably sobbing because she's afraid she's going to lose her other son.

"Hello?! Can someone tell me where I can find my family?"

I start jogging down the halls, trying to find the waiting room and have some kind of answer to what happened the night before.

"Ma'am?" The woman at the desk looked up at me, a smile on her face. "Has a man named Tyler Scheid checked in here?"

"Yes, he should be in room 106."

"Thank you!"

I run down the hallway, glancing at the room numbers as my smile started growing bigger. I seemed alright, I only felt a little pain from waking up. Tyler must have an answer for me.

Once I reached the correct room, an uneasy feeling rose in my stomach.

This was the room I woke up in.

I look back down the hallway, my eyes lighting up as I see the love of my life walking down the hall with a coffee in his hands.

"Tyler! Thank god!" I ran up to him, expecting him to light up just as bright and wrap me into a hug. I only got a stare. "Are you mad at me?"

He walked right past me, ignoring me as I caught up with him, walking alongside him as he sipped his drink.

"Look, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking straight. But-Look at me! I'm fine! I know I shouldn't have left, and I'm sorry, but you have to at least talk to me, babe-

He stops, his eyes locking with someone behind me, making me stop as he walked right past me.

"Tyler, sweetie..."

I look to the familiar voice, smiling as Amy pulled Tyler in for a hug.

"Oh, you'll hug her but you won't hug m-"

"I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Has the doctor said anything about Ethan?"

What?

"Amy, I'm fine! Please, stop ignor-"

"The doctors aren't sure what to do except waiting. He went through hours of surgery and getting casts put on, they have to wait and see how his body is going to bounce back...if he bounces back at all."

Mark and Kat had walked up to us while Tyler was speaking, Mark's eyes red and puffy.

"Can we go see him?"

"I'm standing right here!"

"Yeah..."

Tyler started walking back down the hallway, Amy wrapped her arm around Mark's shoulders as Kathrine tried to comfort Tyler on the way to wherever he was taking us.

"GUYS! Please tell me what's going on!"

Tyler started walking in the direction of my room, fear pulsing through me.

I started sprinting to where I woke up, knowing for a fact that something was wrong. I could barely run for 30 seconds before my lungs started giving out.

What the fuck is wrong with me?!

I manage to get to the door, out of breath, almost crawling into the wall to have some stability to stand up. My vision was starting to blur, I couldn't see anything but the lights around me. I somehow find the bed and rub my eyes to clear them. The whiteness around me blinds my eyes but I'm able to see after a few blinks.

I was staring at myself.

Laying in a bed.

In a coma.

I stand up in a flurry, terrified as I saw...me. There was almost no skin showing, it was all covered in white bandage and cast.

I didn't look like myself anymore.

My body looked like it took the worst beating it ever had. My face was mutilated, my hair was stuffed inside a bandage surrounding my skull, I looked...dead.

"Here he is..."

I'm startled as everyone eventually joined me. Mark's eyes soften and he's destroyed when he looks at me. Kat is just gone, not here emotionally at all. Amy was more than broken, she was shattered from the inside out. Her face didn't know what to do other than spill out tears and collapse into Mark's open arms.

I figured Tyler had already gone through all of those feelings before this. He was just a blank slate. There was nothing but his body clinging onto consciousness and trying to be normal.

"What the hell is going on?!"

When I got no response, I feared what was going on in front of me more than anything.

"How long has he been out?"

Tyler took a seat next to my bed, running his hand along his face to try and wake up his tried expression, looking at the ground with tired eyes.

"What day is it?"

Mark pulled his lips into a tight line when he saw how truly tired his friend was.

"Thursday."

Tyler raised his eyebrows in slight surprise.

"About a week."

Mark sat down next to his friend as Kat comforted Amy in the corner.

"Have you slept much?"

"How can I?" Tyler looked at his pal, emotions nearly drained as his eyes met Mark's. "I'm all he's got left. His parents haven't even called. I'm sure his mom is worried sick but his dad is so caught up in himself that he can't come and see his only son left. I-I just can't leave him." The way Tyler looked at me in that devastating state made my heart sob. He was tired and sad and didn't know what to do.

Hell, I didn't know what to do.

Am I dead?

Is this a dream?

Why can no one hear me?

Why can no one see me?

What's wrong?

Is this hell?

I ran out of the room, tears reddening my cheeks as I tried to find someone who could see me.

"Please! Please! Someone tell me that they can see me! Please! I can't be dead! I need to be with him! Please!"

"Ethan?"

I held my breath at the sound of someone responding to me, turning around to find the source.

"Hello? You can hear me?"

"Ethan? Where are you?"

I started walking down the hall, standing taller to look over the crowd of chaotic doctors, blond, floppy hair sticking out over all the different colors blurring together.

No.

It can't be.

"Ethan?"

The person who pushed through the sea of bodies took the breath out of my lungs. The long, blonde hair was all too familiar. The voice hit a nerve in my heart that broke it to pieces. The face brought an overwhelming amount of memories swarming to my brain.

"Andrew?"

He smiled at me, not realizing how comforting that grin was to me at that very second.

"Ethan, bud, what's wrong?"

I sprinted to him without answering his question, relieved as he hugged me as hard as he could.

Is this real?

I have to be dead.

There's no way I can see him without being dead.

"Why are you the only one who can see me?" I pulled away only enough to talk to him. "Am I dead?"

"No..." He hugged me again, his hand rubbing my back as he realized how scared I was. "No, no, no, no, buddy. You're not dead."

"Then what am I?" I pulled away from the most comforting hug, wiping my face. "I'm in a coma, Andrew."

"I know, I know...You just-" He thought for a few seconds before speaking again. "You have to make a choice now..."

"What kind of choice?"

"Ethan...You got hurt bad." Andrew walked me back to my room. "You flipped your car. Three times. You broke your arm, both legs, and four ribs. Your lung collapsed, but, luckily, it wasn't pierced. A couple of the discs in your spine ruptured. And your skull is fractured."

"Jesus..."

"They don't know if you're paralyzed or if you have brain damage yet, still running some tests." Andrew pulled me back out into the hallway, hands on my shoulders as I tried to process what was happening to me. "You have low chances of waking up, bud."

"So-So what do I do? Can I just go back into my body and wake up?"

Andrew shook his head, saddening me.

"You can stay here, wait for the day that you might wake up. With low chances of waking up, you could die and be stuck here. That means no more time spent with Mom or your friends or Tyler." I didn't question the fact that he knew who Tyler was, though I probably should have. "Or...you can leave this place. Prevent suffering for yourself and everyone you care about. Right now."

"Where would I go?"

"With me. To heaven."

Heaven...

I can go to Heaven?

I can be with Andrew?

"Will it hurt?"

"What? Coming to Heaven?"

"Dying."

"Oh..." Andrew rubs my shoulders to help calm me. "No, Ethan. It won't hurt. Death is peaceful. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and let go."

"And go to Heaven?"

"Of course."

I didn't second guess going with Andrew.

I wanted to be with my brother.

I've missed him more than anything.

I would give up never seeing the sun again or going to college, or even my own life just so Andrew can be alive again.

He was my protector, my guardian, my Captain America.

I close my eyes with a smile, my deep breath interrupted as beeping and crying started filling the room next to us.

"Ethan, it's okay. Keep breathing."

I try and take a deep breath, my brain lighting up with thoughts like a Christmas tree.

"Tyler!"

"Let go of me!" Slamming and things falling scared me. "Ethan! Please don't leave me! I love you!"

I open my eyes with guilt, pushing out of Andrew's grip and looking for Tyler as fast as possible. Doctors started filling the room, words stringing out of their mouth like it was practiced. A woman looking at her watch sent shivers up my spine, leaving me in a panic of what to do.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME!?" I nearly ripped my hair out of my scalp in stress. "I don't want to leave! STOP! I want to stay! GO AWAY!"

Andrew's face melted with disappointment, walking away with a sigh.

The second he was out of my sight, the beeping stopped.

"He's stable...for now." The doctor gave Tyler a look that said more than he was ready to hear. "We'll have to talk about that...thing we discussed earlier. And, when will his parents be showing up? Are they stuck in flights?"

"No, they won't be showing up."

"Have they passed on?"

Tyler shook his head and stood up, wiping away the tears on his exhausted cheeks, looking at his phone for any kind of contact from my mom. When he saw nothing, he glanced up at the doctor with a look that said more than words ever could. The doctor left after giving him a curt nod, taking his team with him.

"What's the 'thing'?"

Tyler looked up to his friends, his mouth not being able to speak about the topic, his eyes dripping tears and making him sit down from pure sadness.

"I can't talk about it yet, it...hurts too much to even think about."

My heart jumped at what could be happening to make Tyler feel like that.

What's going to happen to me?

-

I was stuck with my thoughts for hours, admiring Tyler from afar, never leaving my room in case Andrew or whatever it was that tried to make me leave found me.

Mark, Amy, and Kat had left to go to their hotel and get some sleep, making Tyler promise to get some sleep too. He didn't promise anything but I hoped I could help. Maybe I could communicate with him or something, I would figure it out as I went.

Tyler slumped in his chair, looking at me as the nurse that came to check on me left, the hospital still buzzing with busyness as they night slipped in around us.

God, I wish this would be all over.

I was sitting against the wall opposite Tyler, watching him slowly slip further into exhaustion, when he sighed before reaching under my bed and taking out... his guitar.

He played a few chords, looking at me as he finished, pulling his lips into a straight line before maneuvering his fingers into a new song.

The song was hard to figure out, but after a while, I realized it was because the song was originally on the piano.

Oh, Tyler.

I stood up as he finished the intro, my heart swelling as I realized he was going to sing to me.

Has he been doing this the whole time?

"My minds runs away to you

with the thought I hope you'll see.

Can't see where it's wandered to

but I know where it wants to be.

I'm waiting patiently, though time is moving slow.

I have one vacancy and I wanted you to know that

You're the one designed for me.

A distant stranger that I will complete.

I know you're out there, we're meant to be,

So keep your head up and make it to me.

And make it to me."

His hands were so beautiful strumming the instrument in his lap.

"So sick of this lonely air,

it seems such a waste of breath.

So much that I need to say.

So much to get off my chest.

I'm waiting patiently though time is moving slow.

I have one vacancy and I wanted you to know that..."

The pauses that he had to take in between verses made my heart ache.

"You're the one, designed for me.

A distant stranger that I will complete.

I know you're out there, we're meant to be.

So keep your head up and make it to me.

And make it to me."

I couldn't handle watching him cry like that.

He shouldn't have to even think about me not making it.

"WHY AM I SO FUCKING STUPID!?"

I slam my fists against the floor under me, screaming my lungs out in pure agony, not noticing how Tyler froze in front of me.

When I looked up, his eyes were wide with shock, looking right at me.

I scrambled as he got up with a start, walking over to the other side of the bed, looking all around for something.

I stood as far away from him as I could, for a reason I don't know anymore.

He touched right where I smashed the floor, running his hands along with it before giving up and sitting down again.

Did he hear me?

He didn't look the same when he resumed his spot.

He seemed scared.

"Goodnight, Ethan." Tyler kisses my hand, looking at me a little longer. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Tyler is caught off guard for a few seconds, blinking his eyes and shaking his head, sitting on the couch by the foot of my bed, rubbing his tired eyes.

"I must be really tired, it's almost like I heard..." Tyler took a slow glance around the room before laying down, pulling a thin blanket over himself and closing his eyes.

I would give anything to sleep next to him.

"I'm going to come back, Tyler," I knelt next to him, wishing I could kiss him and try to make everything better. "I promise."