ethan

I woke up to a sweet kiss on my forehead, my eyes fluttering open to Tyler walking across the room to open the curtains. The sunlight ran through the air, stabbing me in my precious eyes and making me hiss in pain. I pulled the blankets laying on top of me over my head, rolling away from Tyler's torture, hearing him laughing at my childish behavior.

"Stop being so lazy."

"I'm sorry that I just got the sun shoved in my face!"

Tyler laughed and crawled in next to me with a dopey grin. I couldn't frown at that beauty as I rolled over to see it.

"How would you feel about going out somewhere and getting breakfast?"

"Can't we just cuddle instead?"

Tyler kissed my cheek, getting back up and grabbing some clothes from his dresser, I forgot that neither of us had time to put our clothes back on.

"Tempting, but we have all the time in the world for cuddling. All the good breakfast places stop serving after 12 o'clock." Tyler pulled a shirt on over his head after getting the rest of the ensemble together, taking away my ability to look at his body in admiration. I closed my eyes and tried to fall back asleep, cowering with a sigh as the blankets were pulled off of my head. "We're not going back to sleep."

I opened my eyes to Tyler throwing clothes at my face, watching him go to the bathroom to, I assumed, brush his teeth. I gracefully put on a pair of underwear, a pair of sweatpants, a shirt, socks, and shoes without getting out of bed.

"Dude..." I grinned at the annoyance in Tyler's voice, cuddling up into my pillows. He pulled me out of bed by the hand, and, with dignity and pride, I collapsed onto the floor, one hand in Tyler's grasp. I saw how hard he was trying not to laugh as I stared up at him from the floor. "Come on you lazy lug."

Tyler hoisted me over his shoulders, grabbing my keys and coat, locking the door behind him, ignoring my screams of protest to put me down. He finally did so when we got outside.

"Where would you like to eat?"

"I don't care, somewhere that serves good food."

Tyler rolled his eyes.

"You just love making things difficult don't you?"

More true than it should be, babe.

I zipped up my coat and put my keys in my pocket, flinching as Tyler laced my hand with his.

"What's wrong?" Tyler let go immediately, thinking he did something wrong, but it was more of my problem. "Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine." I grabbed his hand, my right hand twitching slightly as my mind was slightly panicking at how exposed I felt. "Just not used to...this."

Tyler squeezed my cold hands, running the pad of his thumb along the skin that it could find.

"Just breathe." Tyler let go of my hand, looking at me with a calm grin. "If you're not ready, I'll wait for you."

I hesitated on accepting that offer. Crawling our way to comfort being in public, just like our relationship, seemed comfortable.

Then it dawned on me just how long Tyler has been waiting. How long he's been waiting to merely look at me and know that I reciprocate the same feelings. How long he's been waiting to be able to tell all the people that walk this Earth that I'm his soulmate and we are meant to be together forever. How long he's waited to treat me like his partner instead of a friend. How long he's been waiting to tell his dad that he's found me, that he doesn't have to worry. How long he's waited to love me, without the hazards. 

"You shouldn't have to wait anymore." I grabbed his hand in mine, gracing his face with my other, grinning at how natural it felt out in the cold, winter, air. "You've waited enough."

The kiss that we shared felt different than the ones we shared only hours ago. This one was less of an animalistic, exhilarating, breathtaking need for one another. No, this one was more of an unspoken promise, from me to him, that I promised to not be afraid anymore. A promise that I never intended to break, one that I would strive to achieve every second of the rest of my life. Every second of the rest of my life spent with the man standing in front of me was going to be an exciting adventure that I would never shy away from. I was determined to be open, free, and accepting of myself. No matter what other people thought of me. 

I am not a mistake.

I am a flower that was being denied sunshine and water for my entire life, drained of any soul and beauty. Tyler is the savior that fueled me with all the sunshine I could ever need, gave me water to prosper within myself. To bloom into the person that I am meant to be. 

I'm not afraid to be the fucking flower that I am anymore. 

-

"Are you guys ready for this or what?!"

Amy was very excited that Tyler and I agreed to go hot tubbing with her and the rest of the gang. Though, Tyler and I didn't realize what that would mean for us.

Tyler and I were getting ready to get in while Amy and Katherine were already enjoying it. Tyler's staring when I turned around after taking my shirt off alarmed me.

"What?"

He grinned and gestured to the numerous hickies that I had all over the front of my body, a blush redder than Mark's hair on my cheeks.

"Oh no..." I didn't know what to do! I couldn't go into the hot tub with my shirt on so I just manned up and took that situation for what it was. "Well, this will be nice to be made fun of for."

"They look nice on you." Tyler winked at me before taking off his own shirt, turning around to put it with our stuff, a huge cocky smile plastered on my face. "What?"

"Well, it appears that my fingernails did quite some damage on your back there." Tyler was confused for a few seconds before he started blushing too. "I guess we're stuck in the same boat."

Tyler just rolled his eyes, slinging his arm around my waist, leaning in to whisper into my ear.

"At least I'm not the one with a little limp going on."

Another thing to make me blush, this time it came with me hitting Tyler's chest in embarrassment.

"Whatever, you loser."

"Ouch."

We smiled and walked over to the tub, turning around to Mark giggling.

"Tyler, what's-uh, what's goin' on with your back there?"

"Oh, you haven't seen Ethan yet!"

Tyler and I both throw annoyed glares at our friends, letting them believe whatever they want to about what we'd been doing in the past 24 hours.

Throughout the night, many jokes were made about our appearances, all we could do was laugh it off and try not to discover the human limit to being embarrassed. I found that limit very quickly, but, I was glad I could breathe and be myself for the first time in my life.

I had my moments where I would just stare at my wrist, drowning out the rest of the world for those lingering seconds and taking in the fact that "Tyler" was staring back at me.

The feeling of needing to cover it up slowly faded away as I started focusing on different things.

Like the fact that I was sitting in public, with my friends, the love of my life, free to be who I am.

Breathe.

You deserve to be happy.

You are not a mistake. 

Let yourself bloom.

-

"Hey, Tyler?"

"Yeah?"

He looked up to me after draping a towel over my shoulders, goofy smile on his face.

"Would you-Would you want to meet my parents over Spring Break?"

The question took him off guard, I already regretted asking.

"I would love to."

"You know he won't...he's going to be hard on you-"

Tyler pulled me into a hug just as I started to ramble.

"Maybe this can be the start of something new, Ethan. Give him a chance, maybe he'll turn around."

"It's nice that you have hope."