ethan

"Hey, Amy just invited us to go to Mark's house for a little while, wanna go?"

I look up from reading a book for my English class, seeing Tyler grabbing his jacket and keys.

"Sure."

Tyler smiles and grabs my hat and coat for me, making me look out to the window and see the mini blizzard outside.

"We're walking there?"

Tyler rolled his eyes, kissing me on the forehead after putting my beanie on my head.

"You're not going to die, Ethan."

I rolled my eyes back at him, earning a smirk and Tyler throwing my coat at me.

"Fine, be like that. And to think I was going to give you a big ole' kiss."

Tyler groans in annoyance, opening the door and waiting for me to walk out.

"Your hands are going to get cold, Ethan."

I flip off Tyler over my shoulder as I keep walking to the stairs, turning around and seeing him taking an ungodly slow pace walking towards me.

"What?"

Tyler just started walking even slower.

"I'm sorry for flipping you off, there, you happy?"

Tyler smirked and wrapped his arm around me as we started walking down the stairs.

The second he cracked the outside door open, a huge gust of wind hit us, I grabbed onto Tyler at the offensive temperature.

I let go after I got somewhat used to the cold, slowly getting annoyed at myself for not bringing my gloves.

Why does Tyler always have to be right?

I slowly drifted closer to Tyler the further we walked to Mark's house, shivering more and more with each step, my fingers becoming numb.

"Your hands are cold, aren't they?"

I look up to Tyler slightly annoyed, slightly laughing at me, pulling my mouth into a straight line and trying to deny that fact the best I could.

Tyler shucked off one of his gloves, handing it to me, grabbing the one closest to him in his non-gloved hand.

"There, now you don't have to suffer."

I didn't understand how Tyler's hands managed to stay warm, probably because he's not stupid and actually wore gloves, but I enjoyed my hands not freezing.

The snow wasn't as horrible as I thought it was, it was actually quite calming to watch. It was a little annoying because it kept getting on my glasses but that doesn't mean it wasn't enjoyable.

I looked over at Tyler every once in a while, admiring the snowflakes that found their way to hang in his hair. The slight redness on his cheeks made him look more sunkissed than cold.

We got to Amy's house without me realizing. I only realized because Tyler let go of my hand and gave me his other glove.

"Why did you give me the other one?"

"It would be kind of weird to them if we were sharing gloves."

Tyler turned back to walk into Mark's house like that was something normal. That we shouldn't be showing each other affection in that way. It was so painful to know that he knew that as his life at this point.

I was holding his life back.

If I had just told him, he wouldn't have to do this.

We could walk around holding hands, kissing each other, telling each other "I love you", do all of what normal soulmates do.

I wanted that life so badly.

Tyler wanted it too, no matter how hard he tried to make it seem like that wasn't true.

He has to wake up every morning hoping that I tell him the best thing he's ever heard or dreading the day I tell him the most heartbreaking news.

"Ethan?"

Tyler squeezed my shoulder, his other hand coming up to wipe a tear I didn't even know was on my face.

"Yeah?" I realized we weren't inside to hang out, we were just standing outside Mark's front door. "I'm fine, let's go have fun."

I smiled, hoping that Tyler would smile back. He did.

When we walked in, we were bombarded with happy shouts of greetings, Amy getting up after we had taken off all our winter gear to pull us into their ongoing game of "Truth or Dare".

"Now, where were we?"

"Bob dared Mark to go stand in the snow barefoot, that's where he's at currently."

Kathryn pointed to the porch, Mark standing with an uncomfortable frown on his face.

"How long does he have to stand there?"

I watched Tyler go sit down next to Kathryn, instead of me, and my heart cringed.

He's not sitting by me because he doesn't want anyone to get suspicious.

"One minute."

I looked up to one of Mark's friends that I've never formally met.

"Oh, sorry. Ethan, this is Bob. That's Wade. And this is Pam."

I waved to all of Mark's friends as Amy introduced them, they all seemed nice.

The "Truth or Dare" game went on for a while, filled with dumb Truths and hilarious Dares. I mostly stayed quiet unless someone asked me. I was a little occupied thinking.

"Do you guys want to play 'Never have I ever'?"

The group all made a unanimous decision to play it since Bob and Mark were starting to come up with some horrific dares.

"I guess I'll start." Everyone got themselves ready, taking last sips of their drinks before I started. "Never have I ever broken the law."

Groaning filled the room as some people put one of their fingers down.

"You've never broken the law, Mr. Goodey-Two-Shoes?"

I laughed at Mark's mocking tone, shaking my head no in response.

"I'm sorry I'm a good law-abiding citizen."

As we went around the circle, the reasons for putting a finger down only got dumber. Pam decided to ask a serious question, though.

"Okay, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, I'm just curious." Everyone geared themselves for her question. "Never have I ever met my soulmate."

Most of the people took one finger down immediately.

"My wife is back at home, her name is Mandy." We all smiled at Bob's comment.

"Same here. My wife's name is Molly." I found it interesting that both Bob and Wade were married to girls that had names that start with M.

"I think it's obvious who my soulmate is." There was a light giggle as Amy and Mark grinned at each other.

"Kathryn?"

"I don't have one." We all got kind of sad at learning Kathryn didn't have a soulmark. "Don't worry, I'm not sad about it."

"Tyler?"

He looked up at the group like he didn't know what was going on.

"I don't want to answer."

I started panicking as I figured out that they were going to ask me. I calmed a little as I felt Amy take my hand in hers.

"You don't have to answer-"

"No, I want to."

Amy was surprised that I said that.

I took a deep breath, my heart felt like it dropped to the floor, trying to contain the shaking in my hands as I spoke.

"I've met mine." I cleared my throat as I found it hard to speak. "I've met him."

People got more invested after I said that.

"Who is it?"

I close my eyes, only for a few seconds, planning how to execute the following moments. I opened them and tried to find a napkin or something of that nature, taking one off of the coffee table and dunking a little in my cup. I rubbed it over my skin until I started seeing black letters start to appear instead of fake. Amy rubbed my back as my breath started shaking, throwing the napkin back onto my plate and looking at the beautiful name on my wrist.

"Oh my god..." I cringed as I figured Mark looked, watching people trying to look for themselves.

I held it up to the group before I tried to cover it again.

This is it. I'm doing it. No more hiding.

Bob and Wade's eyes widened as they looked at it, looking at each other before looking at Mark. There was a happy look in their eyes.

Pam smiled when she looked at it.

Kathryn had a look that almost said: "I knew it."

Mark was a little shocked, almost lost, as Amy just watched me with "the proud mom" look.

I managed the courage to look at Tyler, hoping that he was happy.

He wasn't.

He wasn't...anything, really.

He just kept staring at it. Like it wasn't really true. That his soulmate really wasn't his roommate sitting four feet away from him, that he's been living with for 6 months.

He just got up, his eyes never leaving me, walking over to the front door to put on his shoes.

"Tyler, what are you doing?"

He just silently put his jacket on, forgeting his gloves in my jacket pocket, leaving without a word.

I got up instantly, Amy grabbing my arm before I could go after him.

"He needs time." I turn back to her, tears brimming both of our eyes, Amy pulling me into a hug. "I'm so proud of you-"

"He left-" I couldn't get clear words out as I started sobbing, Amy rubbing my back as I cried into her shoulder. "I knew this would happen-He's never going to forgive me..."

I felt another body join our hug, opening my eyes a little to find Mark with his arms wrapped around both of us.

"You're gonna be okay, bud."

Another body joined, I figured it was Kathryn.

I never experienced so much love while I was at my lowest.

They weren't mad at all. They weren't angry that I kept something like that a secret nor that my soulmark was the way it was.

"We accept you, Ethan." Amy ran her hands through my hair while she spoke. "You can stop being scared. You can breathe."

I smile through my tears, realizing that, truly, not everyone is like my parents. That I'm not a mistake. That all the worry I've had for my entire life can finally be set free.

"I have no idea what we've missed, but I'm glad that there's been a significant weight lifted off your shoulders, Ethan."

I look over to Wade as he said that, smiling at him as our group hug departed, Amy's hand resting on my lower back just in case I needed it.

"I've been living with my soulmate for 6 months and we've had a secret relationship for the last 4." I took a deep breath, thinking back to all the amazing moments I've shared with Tyler over the past couple months. "It started after we watched a movie and fell asleep together, then the girl hitting on him in the coffee shop, and then he took me to meet his family for Christmas, and then he set up a sweet slow dance for me on New Year's eve-"

"That's where you guys went?!"

I let out a little laugh at Mark's amazement.

"And then he scared the crap out of me when he didn't come home one night. I had a panic attack because I thought he committed suicide. Because of me. Because he thought I wasn't his soulmate and he couldn't take it because he's in love with me. And that he couldn't handle the thought of when the day comes that I wake up and tell him that I'm not the one meant for him." I looked at Amy one last time before I went to leave. "Here's the truth: I am his soulmate. I'm desperately in love with him. And I can't live without him."

Mark and Kathryn smiled at me as I pulled my hat on, running out the door as they all quickly wished me luck and yelled goodbye after me.

Pam probably got more that she thought she was going to during that game.

I didn't care about the snow on my glasses anymore.

I didn't care that my hands were cold.

I had so much more to tell Tyler, and I couldn't wait any longer.

I didn't stop sprinting until I reached our door. I pounded my hand on the door, not having the time to get my key. I needed every precious second to talk to Tyler.

He opened the door, the look on his face ripped the adrenaline out of my body in seconds.

"We need to talk."