Oh, and my mom-in-law is still fine to this day. We spend our time between keeping her healthy and living out our lives.

My husband and I have been working on our marriage. I love him. We are a little closer than we were but we're not as close as we used to be. We are a little damaged and part of my heart is with another. I can't do anything about that but the part I still have is where it belongs.

It's so easy to judge someone else. It's so easy to say 'that's cheating' on your husband. It is. It's black and white. You're married and you can never love another. Period. I thought that. I did. I thought how can someone be married to a person, cheat and fall in love with another... while claiming to love the spouse. I thought they weren't being untrue to themselves...

I believe that true love comes from two places now. One is the heart and the other is the soul. I believe we can love different people with different parts of ourselves. I don't even understand it, so what do I know? Maybe I'm a cheating piece of shit too.... Maybe?

I don't feel that way though.

I will continue to love my husband with my whole heart but I love another with my soul.

This is my ultimate secret.

This is the secret that I won't even tell on my deathbed. A secret that can never be uttered out loud. Something I can never say to anyone, never admitted to freely. It will always be in my dreamland. He will be forever in my soul. Part of him lives in my soul where no one else ever lived.

I hold Zale there.

And that's the end of that story...

Thanks for reading!