The rumors of the great gate had spread far & wide. Seoul was home to those who dared to achieve more than what they were given. Life. Let me take you back to my beginning...

I looked out from my window. The sun would be rising soon. I was heavily optimistic & it often left me on my own. I wasn't offended that people left me in the slightest. A hand rested on my shoulder. "호석아, 기분이 어때요?" (How are you feeling, Hoseok ah ?) I sighed. Narae was always there for me. I trusted her since the day she helped me escape some debt collectors. My father had a huge debt to pay & that burden fell on me when my mother eventually passed. I trusted Narae more than I've ever trusted anyone before. 

"Will you stop me ? The last thing I need is for you to think I've gone crazy." Narae looked out the window, taking her seat next to me. "You want to go to Seoul, right ?" I nodded. Was I that easy to read ? I knew going could potentially end in disappointment, but I wanted to still try. "네, 저는 서울에 가고 싶어요. 내가 미쳤다고 생각하지 않나요?" (Yes, I want to go to Seoul. You think I am crazy, don't you ?) Narae chuckled softly. She was never an optimist, however she always supported me. "I don't think you're crazy, Hoseok. I fear you are believing too much into rumors."

There was rumor that Seoul held a gate that could give the soulless a soul of their own. Why would he let this opportunity pass me by ? I glanced at Narae, "Isn't there something you always wanted, but it seemed you couldn't have what you wanted ?" I knew she pitied me somewhat. It was obvious in how she looked at me. My father disappeared with a huge debt on his head, & my mother had passed away a while ago, & now I practically was a grown orphan she felt the need to take care of. "Hoseok, that gate could very well just be a rumor. If it is real, why would we just be hearing of it now ? Don't be so hopeful you lose sight of reality."

I knew she was worried, but I also felt like she was purposefully trying to deter me away from this decision. "So you get to feel whole, but I must always have a void that follows me ? How is that fair, Narae ?" I wasn't trying to be rude at all. However, I wasn't going to give up because I could end up disappointed in the end. "You know that isn't what I meant, Hoseok ah." 

I shoved her away & stood up. "What did you mean then ?" Narae stood up. Her eyes held many emotions. It flitted between worry & anger. "You can't keep doing this. Or did you forgot you still have a debt to repay ?" There it was. The true reason she wasn't going to let me go to Seoul. It had nothing to truly do with me at all.

"당신은 내가 고통받는 것에 대해 얼마나 성취감을 느끼나요?" (Are you proud of yourself ? Just how accomplished do you feel with me suffering ?) Narae looked just about crushed by my assumption that she was holding me back. That she was the problem. Was she faking ? I couldn't entirely tell. Would she drop the act & tell the truth finally ? Or was she being genuine ?

"Leave ! Go ahead ! If you fail, you can only blame yourself."

So I left. It is as simple as that. I wanted a soul. No one was going to stop me now.