understand the truth about

that question in your soul

IT WASN'T EASY TO IGNORE the schoolchildren staring at Kimi like she had the plague, or better, came back from the dead - the stares had trippled.

Nor the fact that she was about to pass the popular kids' group; a simple conversation with them is so physically draining you might actually lose brain cells.

It was from that moment, where she looked up to the bright light of the ceilings; that shouldn't be on during a day as bright as this one. But as she squinted her eyes, she began to hear heart rate monitors, just like at the hospital.

"What the hell?" Kimi whispered, widening her eyes as--

"Here you go Mika! The ball is next Friday!" a stunner by the name of Laura Cunningham brought out a handmade flyer to Kimi's mildly startled face.
Laura's pretty sweet, but unluckily, she gets corrupted by her snobby rich 'friends' that enforced the life goal of weighing under about 64 ounces of rice - more or less.

You'd call them extremists, even on their day off.

"What ball?" Kimi flatly asked as she lightly held the flyer

"Valentines, silly!" The girl pointed up, forcing her eyes up at--

Oh, great.
A large banner from hung above them, covered in flashy red and pink decor, with brightly vivid spelling of VALENTINES BALL IN __ DAYS.
Kimi softly scoffed, baffled as to why this huge piece of cloth didn't catch her eye at all.

Maybe I actually did need an extra day off after all of that.

She thought as she replied: "Cool" before awkwardly walking off, her eyebrows spasming as she remembered that the girls bathroom was right ahead, tightly shutting her eyes before--

"--Maybe the love cookie worked a little too well?" Alice spat as she skipped towards her, "Seriously, are you okay?"

"Since when does Alice Creel ask me if I'm okay, or if anyone is, for that matter?" Kimi mocked as she held her - bandaged - arm.

"Since i became a main suspect for the cause of your little show yesterday. My brother saw everything, even he looked worried - somewhat."

"You have a brother? wh-who is he?" Kimi was suddenly interested in their conversation, tilting her head as she tried to imagine Alice with a sibling; her demeanour screams only child.

"Doesn't matter." She rolled her eyes, "Point is, did my love cookie work? Are you...feeling a tingle in your gut whenever you're looking at the person? Also - who'd you look at first? I need this info for research!"

Kimi lightly groaned as Alice blabbered, her voice beginning to echo away as she tried her best to reminisce, in its stupidity, who did she look at first?

It was at that moment that she hardly remembered the events that took place yesterday, only feeling a little sorry for potentially traumatizing a few of her classmates in the moment she might as well have died.

Her memory of the moment began to faintly replay, not in her head, it was as if she was back there, in her seat. The vivid fringing at the corners of her eyes resembled the Auroras in its shuffling.
It was almost as if she was moving voluntarily, not by memory, like in the dark pool.

But it hurt, real bad.

In ignorance of the pain, she turned to her right, recognizing the boy as the last thing she saw before the bright lights of the hospital.

Wait, who's the boy? Why does he look so familiar?

She fought to stay in that memory, despite her vision blurring and clearing up as the boy turned to her to mouth the name--

"Kimi!"

"Ah!" She squealed as Alice's sharp yell brought her back to reality, "What?!" She shot back

"Your nose! It's...bleeding" Alice's eyebrows shot up at the dark haired girl as she wiped her nose, quietly trembling in panic as she looked down to the fresh blood .

KIMI'S LEGS DANGLED in the icy antibiotic-smelling air of the school's sick bay. Her big eyes wandering around the bay with a dozen first aid kits, and kids with badly scraped knees, pretending like she didn't have an entire roll of tissue stuffed up her nose.

Despite the confusion Kimi's been having since - forever, the one thing she was sure of, was that this was no ordinary nose bleed.

She had already concluded that each time she used her powers, the physical effects first started with blood in her nose, but the funny thing here was that--

She hasn't used her powers since January 27th - well, to her memory.

But this was no time to panic, hell, she was being examined like a hawk by the new student nurse, who isn't aware of the traditions of just giving the kid ice and letting them off the hook.

This wasn't the kind of diagnosis a young nervous nurse should decipher, this was the type you go to a determined research scientist who's life goal is figuring out your existence; Brenner - or mom, on occasion.

But Kimi was hesitant to let anyone know about these 'episodes', especially mom and Brenner; they were stressed enough with the results that came from her recent visit. No, she wasn't aware of anything that had happened after her awakening in the bath-pool thing, only that it may or may not be sabotaging her sanity.

But how dare she accept defeat.

So there was only one option left: she had to become her own Sherlock Holmes.

After ballet - obviously.

KIMI LIFTED THE STRAP of her light pink leotard to occasionally scratch the itchy discomfort that the seams brought, slouching as she blankly stared at the light wood, her legs stretched out to opposite sides of her torso.

She absentmindedly pointed her toes in her pink ballet shoes, trying her best to remember the events that took place after her awakening from in the bath-pool-dam-thing.

Certainly this had something to do with the warping of her minds sense of reality - is what she concluded. But why did it all feel so real--

"Earth to Kimi! Please join us earthers for stretches!" Beth, the ballet mistress lightly scolded, startling the girl out of her trail of thought.

Kimi blew soft raspberries as she propelled herself upwards, disregarding the giggles and chatter that was brought with the attention.

Skipping to join her colleagues on the bar, abruptly twisting her heels outwards to collide while putting her arms down with palms towards her chin.

At that, she widened her eyes as her vision began to lightly fringe, tightly shutting them all while whispering--

"God, not now, please" she quietly pleaded, forcing the girl in front of her to twist her neck back to her and hissed--

"What?"

"Nothing. Alice. Continue" she brushed, as the girl gave her a stank eye and rolling her eyes, to which Kimi mockingly stuck her tongue out while Alice wasn't looking.

"And fourth!"

Kimi raised her left arm, completely forgetting the two wounds tightly bandaged on her left arm; one from the ridiculously strong antibiotics, and the other from the--

"Ah!" She shrieked as her right arm grabbed her wounds, "Shit!" she whined as her face shot up, hearing gasps as her ears began to ring.

"I've gotta give it to you, Kimi, you're acting is great!" Alice whispered as the girl loosened her bandages.

"What are you talking about?" Kimi flatly asked as she blew the pain away

"There's no way those injuries are real, no way my potions had to do with that. You just wanna get back at me for--"

"Your potions are almost fake as you. I'm not gonna argue - with a literal fact." Kimi snapped with a lowered voice, staring into the widened eyes of Creel as the mistress approached.

"Quit pretending, you nerdy freak, he's--" Alice lowered her voice as she peered at the panting girl

"Okay, that's enough, Alice. Kimi, it's okay if you sit this one out--" Beth scolded as she ignored the confused grimace Kimi now had

"No thank you, Ms Rivers. I'll be just fine" Kimi paused as the wound spasmed and pierced, clenching her teeth, her eyes twitching through the temporary pain.

Beth lightly nodded as she continued: "First. Second. Third. Fourth. Fifth..."

SWAN LAKE ACT II OBNOXIOUSLY echoed from the other room; quite literally for the 194th time this month, and this was February 3rd.

As Ms Rivers attended to the four chosen ballerinas for the leads of the Dance Of The Little Swans; which Kimi would've had a chance of being apart of if it weren't for the 'appointment' that completely drained her energy.
She stared as they learned the footwork that came along with the dance, while Kimi and the other girls practicing pique turns.

And of course, Alice had to take her place.

But she wasn't too occupied on that, mostly because her eyes kept wandering to stare at the older dancing groups, the ones blasting the second act of Swan Lake.

Adorned by the elegance that the leading dancer executed, studying her every tranquil move, her eyes following as the girls fast en pointe, trailing them up to the full emotion on her face.

Psh, I can so do that.

She thought, just to make herself feel better about being a background dancer, but she didn't really believe it. Hell, she was injured, missed most of the lessons and, no way could they make her, a possible lead.

No way.

She turned back to continue her rehearsal of being the background dancer, lifting her chin up, before her eyebrows spasmed as she felt like a waterfall had filled her bladder.

She trailed her eyes up to the digital clock which shone:

3:12.

"May i be excused?!" Kimi yelled as she ran to the restroom, but thank goodness it wasn't for the reason she hated the most.

THE LONG AFTER-FLUSH of the toilet echoed as Kimi wiped her wet hands with a soft paper towel. A small smile plastering her face as she glided and mimicked what she witnessed on the glossy cold tile bathroom floors.

Her left foot subconsciously moved forward, hitting her right as as quickly lost balance, shrieking as she stumbled to the ground.

She softly groaned as she used the sink vanity to help her up and off her backside, before softly furrowing her eyebrows as what she lay her eyes on, was the wide mirror, that should be crystal clear from what she saw just a moment ago.

This mirror was clouded in fog.

Her eyebrows deeply furrowed as she quickly looked around, gathering herself to slowly approach the mirror, softly swiping her palm across it, before--

She jumped back as what she stared at was, herself, only shorter, wearing a golf shirt instead of a leotard, and hair curlier in pigtails.

She felt her chest close up as she slowly touched her paled face with her right hand, shrieking as she felt her soft curls and isolated ponytail, searching for the neat bun she had just a moment ago.

"No...please no..." she whispered as she looked down, quietly whimpering as tears welled up in her eyes, seeing the brown jeans and loafers standing on the same mat from that infamous day. Her sigh quavered as she shot her chin up, tightly shutting her eyes as she quietly sobbed in the restroom.

She groaned as wiped the tears from her eyes, whispering--

"This isn't real. This is just your mind shitting on you, Kimi." She whispered as she grabbed her clothing to squeeze on, still feeling the soft tule of her ballet skirt, "None of it is real--"

"--Am i not real to you?" A drawled Irish accent spoke from behind, Kimi sharply turning behind her to see...nothing, just grey stalls, "No, don't look there, look at me" she slowly turned back to the mirror, her heart sinking as her father slowly approached the girl.

Kimi trembled as she covered her mouth, holding her stomach as the man came into light, revealing the red boils on his pale skin, and the blood slowly oozing out of the multiple cuts and slices drawn on his body.

Her eyes were shot wide open as she saw the dark red marks on his neck, gagging as she--

Blaargh.

She coughed through her cries as her head was deep in the sink, shutting her eyes as she quickly twisted the faucet open, running the water through her quavering lips - and puke.

Shivers went down her spine as she felt the presence of the man near her again, spitting out the water she swashed in her mouth.

"Look at me, Kimi." Carl lowered his voice as the girl rubbed her eyes, accidentally bumping her left elbow against the edge of the counter when--

"I'm not gonna hurt y--"

She sharply gasped as she vision glitched, her fathers voice roaring as it muffled, slightly disappearing for a mere second.

At that, Swan Lake Act II started over again from outside the bathroom floor. Kimi shot her eyes to her left, seeing the bathroom door. And like a timely gate to heaven, it called her, like a rope thrown down to her to rescue her from the den.

She looked to her left arm, which was smoother even a year old wound; nothing was there, but she still winced at the ringing pain, exhaling as she slowly lifted her right hand.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you" Carl's voice lingered in the room, Kimi gasping as her pigtails bounced as she turned towards the door, subtly trembling as she heard - felt his blood slowly gushing out from him, and dripping onto his hunter boots.

Her eyebrows shot up as she turned back to the mirror, with fog as a vignette, mystifyingly surrounding the reflection.

"Do you really want to go? You dont want the full story? The full truth?" he hissed with base and groan in his voice.

Kimi looked down as she tried to keep the lump in her throat from forming, reaching for her skirt to grip on, only to gasp as what she felt, was the rough denim, from '57 itself.

She shot her chin back up to the door, her eyebrows fearfully furrowing as she saw the white bathtub and dirty pink pajamas lying on the ground, her heart racing as she felt no grip on the real world to run away to.

"You can't run away from me Kimi. Not while the wound still lives on..." Carl's footsteps sounded closer and closer as Kimi looked down to the bandage, "...Tormenting you of your crimes"

"...You are not here. I saw you--..."

"Mmm...Finish your sentence, dear. You saw me what?"

Kimi shut her eyes and mouth to silence her whimpers, gulping as she tried getting that horrid image of the open cuts and boils of her father.

"...You hurt mama." she whispered as her eyes shut, turned to where the door stood, taking a shaky breath as she slowly turned back to the half-dead man, lifting her eyes up to his blood-dropped eyes, facing the mirror which was blocked by the shadow of Carl.

"...You should've seen their faces, Kimi. Surely they didn't deserve to witness such a monstrous action" Carl squeezed his hand on the girl's left arm as his piping breath lingered over her her furrowed dark eyebrows.

"Aa-ah!" she cried as her whole body spasmed in pain, "Stop!" She sobbed as her tried to escape from the dreadful grip that ignited Kimi's fight or flight response, distracting Carl with the lights of either the now or the then restroom flickering as she yelled--

"I said stop!"

Whoosh. Slam.
Carl yelled as his body was quickly flew backwards as it slammed--

Crsh. Clank.

Kimi panted as she watched as mirror smashingly split it into a trillion sharp little pieces.
The involuntary impact forcing the girl off her feet, but the fall felt like time just froze. She was in mid air for long enough to watch as the sharp glass that almost sliced her, blew into smoke, or mist, completely abandoning its physics laws as it brushed on Kimi like soft wind.

And then...

Thud.
Kimi grunted, wincing in pain as her head slammed against the cold glossy--

"-Tiles! Holy shit!" She huffed as she chuckled, sighing in relief as she felt the soft cotton of the baby pink leotard, grinning as she felt her hair neatly tied up in a bun.

For once, she appreciated the annoying itchy sleeve of her leotard. Panting as she sat back up, before yelling-

"Ah-ah! Shit!" She reached for the back of her head as it grew its own heartbeat in aching pain, her head feeling slightly heavier as she slowly lifted up from the ground.

She squinted her eyes as she stared up at the angelic bright light shimmering through the small window of the bathroom stall. Her pant quieted down as she slowly sauntered to the mounted window.

And abruptly, the atmosphere grew cold, forcing the shiver out of the dark haired girl as she tiptoed up to the window, her eyebrows shooting up at what stood before her.

A gasp left her pink lips as what she expected to find as a window view, was a grey road with white paint staining it like a maize. But all she could find, was pale grass, whiter than snow, surrounded by snowdrop flowers in salmon and lilac.

All it took was a light tap on the icy window that the girl touched with her warm hands, before shrieking as-

"Ah!" she felt her body tumble over to the ground, feeling like she just dropped her body on cotton softer than clouds.

She groaned as she opened her eyes to the tall grass dusting herself off as she stood up, gasping as she out to a field of the pale grass and flowers, with velvet leafless trees that made the blue sky turn to purple the more you stare at it.

The sky was the only closest thing to normal, familiar, but this place was surely one where a fantasizing eleven year old would dream of being, so it didn't bother her much.

In inquisitiveness, she dashed down the high hill, through the knee-high grass that didn't itch like regular grass would, giggling and shrieking as she-

"Woah!" The adrenaline blocked her from feeling the long fall down the infinite hill, chortling in between her screams of the bizarreness of her erratic experience.

At last, she reached the ground, her closed eyes twitching as she lightly groaned as the pain caught up with her. Her eyes battered to the sky, which, instead of blue-purple, it was darkening, turning grey.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she lay there on the soft ground, staring at the sky that grew darker, and soon...

Clack.

The girls eyes shot open as a bolt of lightning struck the sky; white.

What was a fantasy quickly turned dark as the wind began to blow harder, and dark clouds form in the angelic sky.

Another bolt struck; red. Her breathing hardened as she soon felt out of breath, too weak to move from her snow-angel position.

As the red glowed stroke shone, the clouds grey into a bright red tint, filling the sky and blocking the land of its serenity. The thunder continued to clap as wind howled, blowing what looked like loose grass in the air.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she heard the track of the Swan Lake repeat, once again.

As it did, the girl slightly shifted her head to her left, squinting her eyes as felt something cold brush against her skin.

So she looked down, whimpering as she found her left arm drenched in her blood, slowly oozing out from it. She cried as the blood stained her pink leotard, quickly sitting up as the pain swelled and buzzed.

She wailed in agony as her limbs were overly induced in pain to move a single ounce. And then...

Kimi sharply inhaled as her eyes shot open, feeling the glossy floor of the ballet facilities bathrooms. She sighed in relief as she quickly stood up, to see her perfect reflection.

Her pant echoed in the the room as she quietly sobbed, resting her hands on the vanity, looking back up to her reflection.

And it was all normal; no fog, no dad, no mysterious wonderland.

Just her. Teary, injured, bloody nosed Kimi.

KIMI TRIED TO SILENCE her hard quavering as she entered the hall for her age group, running to the closest barre of the room.

As she slowly lifted her leg in the air, she slowly trailed her eyes up at the digital clock in which its bright glow shone:

3:14.

Her eyebrows shot up at the time difference, looking around as all the others didn't seem to notice her absence.

Was I gone for only that long or are they all just pricks?

She asked herself. Feeling the sound of the other analogue clocks ticking swell up in her ringing ears, her quavering exhale following as she stared at the clock, before-

"Kimika!" Beth clapped as the girl gasped, "Rehearsal in five!"she watched as the girl finally turned her startled face to her, the swell quickly blowing away as she nodded "What's gotten into ya? You look like you just saw a ghost"

Kimi flatly chuckled as Beth put her arm around the girl, with a small concerned smile on her face.

"Right, into position!"

At that, the girls attention was brought to the large window, her eyes widening as saw one strike of the red lightning from earlier. She lightly panted as the roaring sound of the thunder echoed in her ear as she bit her lip in distress.

As she peered at the mirror-wall on the other side of the hall, shivers went down her spine as the mirrors formed a dark substance, the opaque clouding staring right back at her as it quietly roared; she could've sworn it called her name.

What felt like a kick in the gut was the grey sky that haunted her like an approaching voice in the dark. And everything in her told her to run.

The music began to roll, as she lightly gasped, shot out from the hypnotism that was the darkening sky. The girls all curtseyed, Kimi looking from behind where they stood, to a plan that might just pull her out of this rabbit hole.

They say the expression of fine art manifests what cannot be expressed through mundane conversation, it transcends and connects souls with its dynamic power. Perhaps this was the answer to mounting the girl back to full reality.

The light taps on the wooden flooring unnervingly resembled those of the continuous rumble that the storm drove.

Her eyes were locked at the outdoors as she curtsied with the class, her teeth clenching at the intensified feeling of her guts feeling the outside air.
She lightly panted as her head shot back to the mirror, in which the 'darkness' spilled out from the bottom of the mirror, corrupting the light wood as it's whispers grew louder in its approaching.

She briefly exhaled as she let out a firm nod, before pirouetting across the tiny space behind the dancers, breaking most out of character to murmur and whine about the rebellion of Kimika Oswald, for whatever reason they had no clue.

Kimi's large eyes shut as her ears blocked out the yells of the mistress and her students, taking deep breaths as the thunder clapping swelled up in her ears.

Everyone watched, murmuring as the sandy brown skin of Kimi gracefully shimmered as her arms swayed perfectly as she spun across the large empty space.

Kimi rushed to the glass door entrance on her tippy toes, peering at the red-grey clouds that forced her eyes to squint from the piercing whiny wind. Her pant grew stronger as she looked below her to the descending flight of stairs, lightly whimpering as she looked behind her to see the dark coming closer.

She tightly gripped her tutu, taking a few steps back , before bringing her left leg forward, twisting as her foot lifted from the edge of the stairs.

Ms Rivers gasped as she lightly tapped her mouth with her pale hands, gazing at the eleven year old who was quite literally performing The Grand Jete before everyone.

The girls peaked through the window at the girl as she landed at the bottom of the stairs, lightly tumbling down as her balance was lost.

All of their eyebrows furrowed as they observed the girl who abruptly began unstably running across the empty parking lot.

This was almost the fastest Kimi has sprinted in her entire 11 years of living, she believed that the time she was running away from her father to the lakeside stole the trophy.

She panted as the piercing pain spasmed, slowing her down as she winced in pain.

She reached the end of the large grey parking lot, whimpering as what stood before her was the sky high row of trees, standing firm in front of the brick wall.

"Kimi, get back here." A growling voice whispered as she quavered, the lump forming in her throat as she shakily cried-

"No! N-no no-" she huffed as her knees bent for her to kneel down, quietly sobbing as she tried to control her hyper breathing.

"Kimi, turn around, look at me" the blood-curdling voice commanded as rain begin to pour from the dark sky.

Kimi remained with her back turned against the creature, her eyes battering as the cold rain slipped onto her sandy brown skin.

"I said "LOOK AT ME!"" The being roared as Kimi gasped and gulped, wincing as her ears rang from the chilling yell.

Her sob hardened as she finally faced the being, trembling at the dark dust strongly resembling the features of her father, just darker and eerier.

He growled as his head tilted down to the girl fearfully looking back up as tears rushed down her red face.

"You think it would be that easy to be rid of me?" His deep voice echoed despite the howling wind

"Go...Away." Kimi trembled as she tightly grinned the tule of her skirt, shutting her eyes as she quietly whispered at the shadow growing closer to her.

Her eyes slowly opened back up as the shadow reached his hand towards her face as she stood firm against the ghastly resemblance.

"GO AWAY!!" She screamed, echoing the whole land as the dark merely brushed against the hidden scar on the side of her face, the wind blowing hard enough so that his particles would escape from its shape, surrendering to the strong wind.

An eerie whisper followed as he left with the wind, Kimi's breathing slowing down as she watched the whisper.
Her eyebrows followed as her eyes squinted, feeling the shadow of the sky slowly wash away as well.

But as she looked back above her, the clouds began to blow away like dust in the desert, clearing to darkness instead of the bright sky.
Her heart began to race as the dust spread, swallowing up the scenery to pure darkness, reaching closer and closer to where she stood, and-

"Ah!" Her yell echoed in the void as her feet were swiped right off the ground, back to the slow fall of hands waving in the air for any sort of balance.

She sharply inhaled as her head began to release loudly swelling sounds of wood creaking, toilet flushing, her yell as glass shattered, deafening thunder, then sirens.

Creak. Flush. Crush. Rumble. Nee-naw nee-naw!

It all looped for a thousand times, being mixed with unfamiliar memories of fire crackles, then plastic clicking on the ground, then the sound of lockers being hit, then-

The images flashed in her mind, before frequently seeing the icy blue eyes and brown hair of someone she's met before, flashing back to her, soon whispering,

"Come back" as-

Thud.

"O-Oh my God!" Ms River's muffled voice yelled as she shook the unmoving shoulders of the girl flat on the ground, "Somebody call an ambulance!" She urged, her eyes widening as a a pool of blood heavily stained her leotard, her mouth quavering as the wrapped bandage did nothing but assist in painting the rest of her skirt blood red.

It was no longer pink. More like burgundy red.

▉ a / n

Vote and spam comment !!

The ballet terms and shit WAS ALL GOOGLE WORK SO IF ITS WRONG BLAME REDDIT IDK

just so you know, yes, Kimi ATE THE DANCE UP AND THE PLATE TOO, amongst other things💀

Again I would like to apologize for making Kimi suffer yet again but just hold on y'all💀

4800+ words slay !!

( @pinkalientea 2022 )