what do i say

to make me exist

KIMI IMPATIENTLY RIPPED the pink box open as Nina occasionally glimpsed at her, then back at the grey road.

Nina chortled as she heard the dramatic gasp, "So, you like it?" She asked as Kari smiled at his sisters reaction

"...I love it" the girl whispered as she examined the customised pink vhs mixtape cassette written KIMI in black with a crooked heart next to it, "I can't wait to use this when I get home"

"What if I told you, you could use it anywhere your heart desires," Nina looked to the girl who furrowed her brows, "Did you check the backseat?"

Kimi jumped up to stretch her arms out as mom uttered the question, dramatically gasping once more as--

"MY OWN HEADPHONES?" Kimi squealed as she ripped the box open to see a matching headphone kit to her vhs.

"Happy belated birthday, Kimi!" Kari giggled

"Thanks Kari, thanks mom! This is amazing!" She uttered with a huge grin on her face

"Thank Kari and Martin for the tape, it took ages to perfect" Nina laughed, before cussing as a car hooted at her driving.

Mom slowed the car down at the school dropoff, softly sighing as Kimi remained seated, quiet as she examined her peers.

"Do I have to go? Its freezing out--"

"Kimi, c'mon-- we've talked about this." Nina stroked her forehead as Kimi sighed, scratching her arm, "What's the worst that could happen, seriously"

"A challenged rich white kid could shoo--"

"Dont answer the question! Just go go go" Nina waved her hand as she giggled, shivering as the open door blew the harsh wind in.

NINA HOOTED AT HER daughter as she shamefully walked into the Hawkins Middle School, trying to ignore the laughter of her peers over her overly supportive mother and light blue coat that reached her knees.

The girl sighed, scratching her pink nose as her eyes squinted through the long walk past the paving of melting snow, bringing up her new headphones from her neck as she sighed, looking up at the school logo at the entrance.

HAWKINS MIDDLE SCHOOL, it read, Kimi rolling her eyes as her hand trailed down to clicking some buttons of the cassette tape, finally entering the terrifyingly dead halls.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she realised the song Jailhouse Rock by Elvis Presley was already halfway into the song.

[ ♬ everybody let's rock ! ♬]

The amount stares have doubled, mostly because she was missing in action since Wednesday.
The usual unspoken nods of the other non-white kids in the school almost gave her a reality check of how lucky she was to be in that position; hell, it was the damn 50s.

Muffled chatter echoed from the outside of her enclosed lobes, her eyebrows lightly lifting as she reached her blue-grey locker located second last from the sharp turn of the wall.

[ ♬ Number 47 said to number 3! ♬]

And it was perfect there, mostly because its the furthest from the foul and reeking smell of the boys bathrooms. Also, the odds of you witnessing PDA of progressive tween couples are slim to none.

She lightly scratched an irritating itch she tried to challenge herself to ignore as she leaned on the cold whiny, locker she blankly stared into, trying her best to remember what lessons she had first that day before--

"--I like your headphones!" A voice yelled, interrupting her thoughts, pulling her headphones out, pausing the music.

[ ♬ Come on and do the -- ♬]

"What?!" She yelled back as the boy came into view.

Rio Macedo: the looks that made the girls physically weak on their knees, everyone wanted a taste of him, even the teachers were envious of his charm.
And no, nobody knows how he gets that amazing hair of his. Some say from the grease of the pigs he slaughters, which is totally unruly of them to say but, he still looked better than them.

"Your headphones? They're really cool" he repeated, staring as the girls eyes softened, almost.

"Uhh...thanks" Kimi awkwardly chuckled as the boy played with his hair while staring straight at her

"...Have we...have we met? Or--" Kimi broke the silence, lightly chukling as she realised she hasn't taken the time to learn any of the students' names

"Rio Macedo? We versed each other in chess one time" he interrupted, with his arm out, the girl eventually shaking his hand

"Did we? Oh! you're the kid who wouldn't stop sneezing, right?"

"Haha, yeah...allergies" he flatly chuckled as she giggled, clearing his throat

"Well, I'm--"

"Kimi...The one that's barely at school but always manages to get straight A's" he lightly chuckled as the girl playfully rolled her eyes, "Seriously, where'd you go last week-- for - interest sake"

"Time travel to 1957..." Kimi spat as she nodded, lifting her brows as she saw the concerned face of Ric, "...Family issues out of the country" she improvised, which wasn't false either.

As the boy talked about - a somewhat similar family trip she didn't make - Kimi slowly leaned to the side, before she caught three girls peering back at her.
Her eyes slightly widened as she looked back to the boy, soon wondering why in Gods name is he here literally ranting to her about his family life when they met just a second ago.

"Kimi! Ric!" the leading girl yelled as her minions followed in her approach of the two

Kimi's heart sank as she saw them walking to them, spotting a container being held in minion #2s hand.

"Lovely to see you two - talking...together-- is there something I should know?" The leading one passive aggressively asked as Ric and Kimi looked back at each other, stammering

"Uhh, you should know that hot water turns to ice faster than cold water..." she flatly spat, before seeing everyones blank faces, "which is totally something you should know" Kimi blurted out before quieting down and fiddling, everyone furrowing their eyebrows, before Ric lightly chuckled during the awkward silence

"Whatever, I made these, for a...scout? so...have some! I insist" the blonde girl shot the lid open, to oddly shaped ginger biscuits, "close your eyes to taste all the yumminess" she commanded through her giggles

It was weird that out of all people, she was requested to tasting this ordinary creation, random at that, even scary. But she was starving anyways, since she never has the time to eat breakfast, so--

Crunch.
The two took the bite simoultaneously, eyes glued shut, the girl slowly chewing to trick herself into believing this wasn't nearly the driest cookie she's eaten in her entire life, so much so that she was scared that if she swallowed, she'd choke to death.

"Keep them closed!" The leader informed, as Kimi felt one of them holding her shoulders, finally forcing her to spin

It was nearly impossible to try swallow the dry biscuit, all while spinning with her eyes closed for a reason she was yet to find out about. Her eyebrows furrowed as she heard laughter from about two boys on the opposite side of the hall, Kimi slightly jumping as she heard a loud--

Bang!
A hit on the ice cold metal lockers echoed the hall as a body hit the round, the boy quietly wincing as the laughter descended from her ears.

"Alice, what are we doing?" Rio finally asked the leader as they giggled through it

"The Valentines ball is next week, so I gave you love cookies! The first person you look at is the person you'll fall in love with, or - vice versa. But everyone knows how love potions work." Alice spat as the two remained in silence from confusion, "And...stop!"

Kimi kept her eyes shut as she slowly lost balance, feeling like the world began to tilt sideways. She finally opened her eyes, looking down at the floor.
At that, she slowly trailed across the floor, to see the boy that she assumed was the one who just got attacked. He held his elbow while sitting on the floor.

Poor boy. Even though he most probably deserved it; kids who look like him can say the most twisted, insolent shit - she should know, she's one of them.

She thought.

Through one blink, she found herself looking down to oddly familiar duvet blankets that were filter orange from the setting sun. She sharply inhaled as her vision blurred back to reality, laying her widened eyes on the boy's clothes that were - decent if your mom with poor taste still dressed for you.

She widened her eyes as the boy stared right back at her, furrowing his eyebrows at her instability, before the both of them heard cheering as--

"What a coincidence! Rio, you're looking at me!" Alice exclaimed at the confused boy who was now surrounded by girls, who all looked unnervingly similar, trying to get his spooked attention.

Kimi failed her attempt in holding on to a random locker as her eyes squinted down to the ground, whispering--

"Oh, God" she groaned as she closed her eyes, her dizziness and body ache quickly turning to nausea, which she denied; she absolutely despised puking.

She heard her name being called countless times as she slid to the floor, but this voice sounded way familiar, furrowing her eyebrows as she heard a faint siren in the distance.

But at least the boy looked distracted from his pain by shamelessly keeping his dead stare.

Ring! The school bell cried.

Suddenly, everything went back to normal, almost shooting back at her as she sharply inhaled. She quickly swiped her nose as the halls soon flooded with noisy running students, separating the two from their familiar comfort of well - discomfort.

KIMI RHYTHMICALLY TAPPED her clicking shoes on the tiled ground, occasionally lifting her hair up to allow the breeze to dry her sweaty neck. She held her stomach as she began to pant, her vision doubling and blurring as she tried to focus on the revision of fractions that began looking like gibberish to her.

The symptoms of earlier today have, well - intensified. Because now, the lights were lightly blinking, which Mr Smith thankfully excused for: "This faulty electrical system is way too unreliable"

The only thing stopping her from dramatically running out of the class and calling home, was that it was about thirty two minutes till school went out.
But what she wouldn't know is that this would be the longest most excruciating thirty two minutes of her entire 5.7 billion minutes of living.

What didn't help was the cold stare she occasionally had to undergo. She didn't know who he was, but that he was a he, or maybe a she - just dressed in painfully bland clothing. She never took the time to get to know who she got the priveledge of sitting next to at the back of the class, but this time, she really wished to yell--

"WOULD STOP STARING AT ME, YOU NOSY CREEP?!" But she didn't. Mostly because her head felt way too light to even decipher her whereabouts, also because she was told not to interact with them if you didn't want to question your whole existence. So no, she didn't.

The weak beam of the afternoon sun fought for the dominance of the sky, against the icy white clouds of the long winter that plagued Hawkins, even during the second month. Kimi ailingly jotted down the date, 2 February 1959, on the empty page, lightly resting her heavy head on the new pile of books gifted to her from her absent days, trying her hardest to fake physical stability.

Even in the howling harsh wind, to Kimi, she felt hotter than a doomed popsicle in the peak hour of the fourth of July. So she removed her light blue coat, trying her best to ignore the person's bad attempt at trying not to make this stare obvious.

"You're alright there, Oswald?" The teacher asked, following the head turns to stare at the girl, "It's pretty cold for you to be removing that jacket, dont you think? Or are you already prepared for the summer"

She looked down to her hands that doubled and tripled, her eyes closing as she shouted, "Just fine, Mr Smith. Please, continue" her voice was muffled from her head being buried down to face her lap.

She tucked her hair behind her ear as her eyes squinted, rubbing them as she quietly groaned. She widened her eyes to focus them on the chalkboard, helplessly watching as the white stains began to spin, rotate, and bounce through her decieving eyes.
Only occasionally, would the words stay put for the girl to write down as fast as the trembling girl could manage.

The enhanced sound of chatter and paper shuffling began to swell in her ears, right before she heard--

"Kimi, wake up, please" a voice resembling her mother, eagerly whispered in her ear. Kimi tried not to be spooked by hearing her mother while in class, but then, she heard inaudible conversation, followed by sirens?

It all began to swell, right before it went silent, and her right hand slowly loosened up as--

Clink.

Her pen slipped out of her weak grip, dramatically dropping to the ground, it rolling all the way to the kid on the right who watched her like a hawk.

"...Could you...get that for me, please?" She quietly drawled, shuffling and fiddling as her breathing deepened.

She finally turned to the - boy. The same boy who badly dented someones locker earlier - involuntarily.

She remembered, he was seemingly in a state of shock that she dare speak a word to him.
His bright eyes slowly trailed down to the rolling pink and white pen, leaning to grab it. He brought it closer to examine as he read the grey name tag, KIMI OSWALD, his eyebrows lightly spasming.

"Today please, I'm not feeling too good." Kimi told the awkwardly gelled down haired boy as he slightly jumped, clearing his throat as he whispered--

"Sorry." he soflty shook his head, "here" he executed his attempt at trying not to make their communication obvious. Kimi looked forward to the teacher's back facing the class, before slowly lifting from her seat to kneel down, shutting her eyes as her head felt as if it was spinning.

This isn't that hard, just grab the pen.

So she reached her shaky arm out to grab the pen - attempt to.

The boy's eyebrows furrowed as she kept missing the pen, lightly tapping and awkwardly stroking on his soft pale hands at each attempt.

His bright eyes slowly trailed at her struggling aim as she quietly apologized for the awkwardness, his eyebrows furrowing as he so lightly grinned, the both of them somewhat feeling embarrassed of this first encounter they would never imagine having.

She took a deep breath in annoyance of the time it took to grab a simple pen, and then...

I did it! Wait...

Her eyebrows shot up as the class spun vertically to the side, the boy widening his eyes, lightly gasping as--

Thud.

"Miss Oswald, are you okay?!" Mr Smith ran awkwardly to the back of the class as he found the sandy brown skin of the girl flat on the cold ground.

"She's sorta...not" the boy quietly commented as he checked the pulse of her neck, seeing the pink pen that was still in his hand accidentally stain her neck.

Kimi weakly opened her eyes, squinting as she felt a beam of sunlight on her, furrowing her eyebrows as the ground felt rougher than normal school tiles would feel. This was wood.

At that, her body began aching in the most horrid way, with the root of the pain coming from her left arm.

"What happened?!" Mr Smith worriedly whined at the boy, the boy stammering as he himself wondered why the girl just passed out in front of him.

And then, she was paralysed, she couldn't move a muscle if she tried, squinting as the lights of the place flickered, but now, it was dark out. She heard the sirens once again.

"Rio, get the ammonia from the cupboard!"

She heard shuffling in the prohibited cupboards, before--

She sharply inhaled, drenched in sweat as Mr Smith exhaled in relief as he removed the cotton ball of ammonia from her nose, wiping the dark red liquid peaking from her nose, then began to panic as she began hyperventilating and gasping for air. Her chest felt airtight, like when she tries to open the jam lid after her father had used it - nearly impossible to do.

The class watched and murmured as the girl weakly groaned, softly holding her left arm as nurses barged into the classroom.

The boy trailed down to the girl, his eyes narrowing as he spotted irritated red skin on the arm she held, as the nurses tied her straightened hair up.

The whole classroom followed as the nurses carried her through the halls, watching as they
threw on a ventilator to her mouth as her breathing roughened.

"What's her name?! What's your name sweetie?" A doctor asked as she barged in the school, the girl stuttering as she struggled to spit the name out

"Kimi...Oswald" the boy told quietly as the class silenced, everyone giving him grimaced or surprised faces as he did so, commenting on his unnerving knowledge of students in the school

"The creep probably possessed her into this for a free lesson." he heard one of them whisper, frustratedly sighing as he pretended like they weren't discussing his whole life events in front of him.

"I need you...to breath, Kimi. C'mon breath!--"

"SHUT - UP! " Kimi cried with the breath she had left, the school quietly laughing at the doctors embarrassed silence

The boy so lightly chortled weirdly after everyone did, as the teachers failed their weak attempts at drawing the children away from the scene. Everyone rushing back to class, not to continue with the boring lesson, but to press their sticky hands on the window that allowed them to silently watch as she ambulance truck drove away.

The boy looked down to the pink pen still in his possesion as the class president packed her stationery up for the admitted girl. What else should he do other than to stuff it in his pencil bag.

KIMI SQUINTED HER EYES as a bright light disturbed her peaceful slumber. She furrowed her eyebrows as she saw the ceiling run, looking down to find herself flat on a white hospital bed, before her nerve system caught up with the constant aching she soon felt.

She whimpered as she grabbed her left arm, bringing the runnung nurses attention to a harsh red rash close to her joint, hearing her muffled breathing from the mechanical ventilator stuck to her face.
The last thing she remembered seeing was a distorted vision of the sky blue eyed boy frozen as he stared down at her, with an unreadable face, hearing her ears ring as the lights blinked.

Her eyes softened as the bouncy curls of Nina Oswald caught her eye, her mother holding her hand as she continued to repeat: "Everything's going to be okay, honey" "you're safe, I'm here", all while softly trembling.

Her eyes trailed to the hospital drip connected to her left hand as she tried to remember how exactly things ended, panting as she continued to sweat like a pig.

"We're gonna need several blood tests as soon as possible!" A doctors voice echoed as her consciousness slowly blew away.

Nina shakily put her hand over her mouth as she stared at the heart rate monitor, mindlessly beeping at the increased heart rate and body temperature.

Another doctor barged into the room, except more young, vibrant, as he yelled--

"GET THIS GIRL TO THE ICU STAT!" he waved his clipboard as the doors swang back and forth, startling the nurses and doctors.

Nina quavered as he uttered, watching as the doctors immediately rolled the bed out of the room as her daughters heart rate shot up as the doctors complained about her decreased blood pressure.

"This was, in no way...an ordinary reaction, it's more of resistance to something, not sure what." the doctor told the woman as she impatiently sat on a mounted chair.

"Anything on the...source of this reaction?" Nina finally flatly queried

"...We believe it was a rare, almost unknown - unclassified substance that entered her system through - penetration of her left arm, that was too much for her tiny body so..."

"It tampered with her system" Nina wearily sighed as she quickly nodded, shutting her eyes in guilt of what that might be, looking down the long hallway to see the dark sky through the glass of the entryway, "...But, my baby's...she's still going to be okay?" she flatly asked as her eyebrows shot up in angst.

"Oh yes. She handled the vancomycin very well. Better than expected for a girl her age" he furrowed his eyebrows as Nina brushed her fingers through her curls, with a small grin peaking through her face. "She's a fighter. Just like you, Nina"

Nina chuckled as the lump on her throat cleared, "Thank you so much, Sam. Really."

"Ah, dont mention it, your children's safety is a top priority of mine." Sam softly told with a light smile on his face, and signature raised eyebrows.

"Oswald? Owens? She's up" a nurse from the distance informed, the two sharing eager looks as Sam cleared his throat.

"YOU LOOK LIKE A ZOMBIE-- A VAMPIRE" Kari yelled as he barged into the restricted room

"Uhm... thanks, I really needed that" Kimi passive aggressively replied to her brothers comment as he chortled

"...Well, you're the only zombie-vampire that can eat this heaven-sent meal!" Kari raised up two take out bags; Burger King and Wendy's, watching as a smile plastered his sisters pale face.

Nina stuttered as her eyebrows shot up from her daughters excited reaction, "Uhm, I thought this hospital caters food for their patients? Actual food not--"

"--Whatever food they cook here, tastes like absolute ass, and I don't think anything's going to change how horrible hospital food is...so" Kimi commented as Nina laughed, surprisingly, "Kari, you're a lifesaver. Keep it up" Kimi told her little brother as he jumped on the bouncy bed, roughly pulling out the bag of hot fries, "And mom, thanks for jinxing my day!" she joked

"Uh...anytime. But with who's money did you get all that? Seriously do I need to have another talk with you about stealing?"

"Nuh uh, I left that life behind me--"

"Yeah...I made sure he did, so I payed" they all turned to the deep voiced man who smoothly pulled off his shades

"Uh - Steph. I...I don't know what to say" Nina stumbled over her words, her heels clicking the tiles as she walked to the man, the both of them giggling as their arms spread open.

Kimi widened her eyes as she dramatically mouthed 'don't look' at her little brother, soon grimacing at the sound of mom and Stephen's lips touching, between their teasing giggles, followed by muffled moans in between the uncomfortable smooch noises.

"Gross, guys-- we were just about to eat" Kimi interrupted as Kari dramatically shook his head

"Oh, cmon Kimi. One day, you will certainly not find love gross." Nina teased as her daughter quietly pulled a gagging face, chuckling at her reaction

Kimi slowly popped a fry in her mouth with her eyebrows furrowed, everyone in the room giggling as they approached the food.

"So...we aren't gonna talk about - the elephant in the room?" Stephen queried as the three were reminded of their whereabouts, before they all turned to the curly haired woman.

"The doctors say it was some type of - reaction. That's - all we know, at the moment." Was all Nina told as she hopped off the bed, her heels powerfully clicking as she let out a deep sigh, "Cmon, finish up with that junk...i don't plan on you staying here for the night" Nina ordered, before strutting out of the room as she fiddled with her necklace.

Only Kimi could tell that her mother was hesitant of some truth, but that was a mystery for a day other than this one.

Plus, Kimi also didn't tell the full truth of what had happened - and her mother was well aware.

She didn't tell the doctors that she time traveled to two years ago to a place that was "locked in her memory".

She didn't tell them that this place, which is very real, was somehow bleeding into hers, she didn't know why.

She didn't tell them that yes, they are right that that medicine injected into her might still be running in her body and affecting it.

Or, that her nose bled right after all of these encounters.

THE BOY FIDDLED THROUGH his pencil bag with his books out on the rug, quietly wincing as his bruised elbow bumped the corner of the desk, grabbing it as he kept his pain as silent as possible, proceeding to flip the bag upside down so that all of its contents fell out.

His eyes were drawn to the particular pink pen, his eyebrows spasming as he eyed it. His working arm stretched out to grab it, lifting it in the air. As he did so, his eyes focused on the candles that sat unlit on the ground, narrowing his eyes in thought.

He looked back to his pile of books, then forward to the candles, softly sighing as he looked back to the pen.

"Victor! Henry! Alice! Time for dinner!" a soft voice yelled from downstairs, distracting him in his trail of thought

"Coming mom!" He heard his sister yell from the other room

He sighed in disappointment, looking down at the pen, crawling to place it in between two glass jars with dead spiders in them.

"Henry?!"

"Coming!" his voice yelled with held aggression, lightly scoffing as he dangled his arms as he walked out of the room, playfully kicking the empty cardboard boxes that stood before him.

▉ a / n

Thoughts? <3

To comment on vol 2, I want another 001 backstory, there's no way NO WAY that he was always so dark and twisted, I'm not buying how at the ripe age of 12 he decided that he was better than everyone

Tbh, 001 just needed to move to the jungle, since he thinks society is limiting, run off little boy💀

4600+ words letsgoo

Did anyone figure out the people mentioned in this chapter or whatt, hint hint what number comes before two???

Spoilers: Wonder if it's the love cookie that will make all of this possible or if they were just unluckily lucky

Vote and comment!!

▉ dedications - you all deserve some mean head for reading this book <3

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( @pinkalientea 2022 )