Waddup fluffers are u ready for trash?! >:D

"Souda, Souda!" you said, grabbing his arm. "There's this really cool haunted house that we should go to!" You held up the poster, smiling sweetly despite your evil intentions. You knew he scared easily, and when you saw the flyer, you knew that it would be perfect.

He looked at the flyer, frowning the whole way through. "No way in hell am I going to a haunted house!"

"Come on! It'll be fun!" You pouted. "And... I invited Sonia. You don't want to look like a chicken in front of her, do you?"

He looked at the poster a little longer, then handed it back to you. "Yeah, whatever. I'll go. But it's just to make sure Sonia isn't scared, got it? I'm not going because you want me to." He walked away, leaving you to bathe in the sweet light of success.

You were gonna scare his dick off.

~~~~~

"Soudaaaaa!" you yelled after forcing his apartment's door open. "It's time to go!"

"One second, [Y/N]! And don't bust down my door like that!" he yelled from his bedroom.

"Your beanie's in here, if that's what you're looking for."

When he walked out of his bedroom, you started laughing at his ridiculous-looking spiky hair. "You look... Like a wannabe punk!" you said between your hysterical laughing.

"I do not," he said, tugging on his beanie. He looked much better with it on.

"Well, whatever. Come on, you weeaboo! We're gonna be late!" You pulled him outside and practically threw him into your car.

As soon as you parked and got out of the car, you said, "By the way, Sonia couldn't make it." Click. The car doors locked before Souda could dive back in.

"I'm a mechanic, you think I can't make it into your car just because it's locked?" he said, trying to pull the doors open despite their steadfastness.

You tugged him along to the looming, dark house. "Ta-da!" you said, making little jazz-hands.

"Yeah, whatever, let's just get this over with," Souda growled.

You waited in line for a while, Souda complaining the whole time about how hot it was, how long it was taking, and how bored he was. Repeatedly, you poked his face and said, "You're like a little kid!"

When you finally got inside, there were skeletons to greet you. You just sang, "Spoopy skurry skeletons, send shivers down your spine!" while Souda almost jumped out of his skin every time that one appeared. "Is this three spoopy five you?" you teasingly asked the jumpy little cinnamon roll.

"N-No," he said grumpily. However, his point was contradicted when a wailing banshee flew out of the wall and he screamed, clinging onto you.

"Y'know, normally, it's the girl clinging onto the gu--" You were interrupted as you screamed at the weirdly realistic horde of zombies in the corner. You didn't even realize that you had grabbed Souda's sleeve until he pulled your hands off of his arm.

You noticed mist on the floor, which seemed to thicken with every step. "What the--" Souda interrupted you with a screech as fake rats ran around your feet.

"What kind of Satanic place is this?!" he yelled.

When a vampire popped out from behind a curtain, hissing and dripping blood, Souda jumped behind you, his fingers digging into your arms.

"Don't use me as a human shield, you idiot!" you yelled, shoving him off. He still clung onto your arm, looking around cautiously. Neither of you noticed the clown sneaking up behind you, but you sure as hell noticed when it shrieked with laughter.

"It has blood on its face!!" Souda yelled, cowering behind you. "And it probably drinks the tears of small children!" He was cautiously peeking over your shoulder, shaking like a scared puppy.

"It's okay, Souda, I won't let anyone eat your soul," you said, patting his head. You pulled him along to a wide-open room. The walls were pitch-black, as was the floor. You couldn't see anything. "What the fu--" You had gotten a face full of nasty-ass hair.

Souda screamed before you noticed, but when you looked up, you saw a terrifying face. It was white, with huge black eyes and a thin, bloodied grin. It looked like it was peeling back the ceiling to get to you. You joined Souda in screaming, falling back into him.

"SAVE MEEEE, [Y/N]!" he yelled, tripping and almost falling.

"Don't look, son, we must move!!" you yelled dramatically, grabbing Souda's arm and running away from the hellish face. "It can't catch us if we run!"

Once you got out of the room, you were in a maze. The walls were made to look like they were dripping blood. Stakes were driven in at random intervals, slashes carved in at other points.

"How big is this house?" Souda whimpered, cowering behind you.

"Huge," a hoarse voice said from up ahead. When you went to investigate, it was a person. Deadly pale, with red-rimmed eyes. "If you can make it, you're a legend," they said, coughing and going limp. There was blood pooled all around their figure. Their hands looked blue--almost purple.

Souda made a weird sound that would probably only be equivalent to a sad mule. "I don't like this, I don't like it at all."

"It's okay, son. Anyone hurts you, I'll bust their balls." You patted his forehead.

"Thank you, mumther."

You screeched and did a weird karate pose when a zombie turned the corner. Souda made a "nnnnnehhhhhhhhhh" sound, obviously uncomfortable with the zombie.

"Run!" you yelled, pulling him along as you sprinted past the zombie. You barreled your way through the maze, choosing a way and hoping it was right. It took a surprisingly short time to finish the twisting walls, and there weren't as many zombies as you thought there would be.

The next room had a screen that said, "Congratulations! You've made it to the last room," at the other end of it.

The mist was heavy around your feet. "What's in this room?" you growled. Souda was clinging to your sleeve, glancing around the room. The walls, ceiling, and floor were all the same neutral gray. Nothing seemed to be hiding in them.

Then you noticed someone in the corner of the room, their back to you. Blond hair flowed down their back, pooling on the floor. "Uh, excuse me?" you asked quietly.

They look over their shoulder, then shuffled their whole form to look at you. Her arms were crossed under her chest, right against her stomach. She had a surgical-looking mask on, and her hair was mussed. Her whole outfit was white. It was tight against her, ending at the ankles. But, the sleeves seemed to keep going... And going.

"Shit!" you yelled, realizing too late that it was a straitjacket. You threw your arm out in front of Souda as the girl struggled to get up and lunged at you, her eyes wide with either excitement or a lust for murder. You shoved Souda back and maneuvered around the girl. She turned on you again, giggling and running towards you.

"Souda, get out! If I don't make it, tell my fandoms I love them!" you yelled as you jumped away from the girl.

He nodded in mute terror, sprinting out of the room--when he opened the door at the other end, bright sunlight filtered in. "Good luck!" he yelled before slamming it shut again.

The girl began laughing as she slowly turned to face you. You could see her mask stretch as she cackled. She sprinted at you. As a response, you ducked and rolled towards the door. She followed you, but you opened the door, sprinted out, and slammed it just in time. You could hear her body through a thud.

"You made it!" Souda yelled, hugging you and practically crying.

"Of course I did, you dweeb, it was just a haunted house. The employees can't even hurt us; it's in the rules and stuff. I don't think they're even allowed to touch you," you said, sticking your tongue out at him; you did hug him back so that he wouldn't feel too idiotic, however.

"Still! That was scary as shit," Souda said, looking down at you.

"Wanna go to my house and watch a movie?" you asked.

"As long as it isn't mentally scarring."

~~~~~

You had decided to put on The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl. It was half of your childhood, and it wasn't super-scary, so Souda wouldn't be a scared bitch throughout it.

Around the time of the Land of Milk and Cookies, Souda managed to fall asleep. He had fallen on your shoulder, but that got uncomfortable pretty fast. You gently moved him so that his head was laying on your lap. He was a pretty heavy sleeper, so you had no problem doing it.

He was snoring lightly as you kept watching your childhood. When you checked the reviews of the movie online, you almost yelled obscenities. Bullshit! The best rating of the three you saw was 2/5 stars.

You ended up petting Souda's hair without realizing it. You were just running your fingers along the hot pink strands absentmindedly. You almost choked when he started purring. Maybe it wasn't exactly like a cat's, but it sounded a lot like it. You could barely suppress your laughter.

After the movie was done, you slapped his face a couple times before he woke up. "Guess what, dweeb!" you said cheekily.

"What is it?" he groaned. He didn't even move from his position on your lap, which almost made you laugh even harder.

"You snore and purr in your sleep!" you crowed, grinning like the cheeky li'l shit you are.

"W-What?! I do not!" he growled. He sat up, blushing because of your [true] accusation.

"You do, you do! Kazuichi Souda snores and purrs!" you chanted.

He grabbed your wrist, pulling your face close to his. "Shut up! I don't snore or purr!" he said, a defiant blushy blush on his cheeks.

You quickly kissed his nose, then rolled off the couch cackling. He jumped off the couch as well, tackling you and pinning you onto the floor. "What's wrong with you?" he said. "Who the hell purrs in their sleep?!"

"You do!" you said, smirking.

"Hello--" Sonia cut herself off when she saw you and Souda. "Nevermind."

DO U SEE WHAT I DID THERE

She walked back out the door.

"Sonia, wait!!" You squirmed out from under Souda. When you slammed the door open, you found Sonia giggling. "And, hey, what are you holding?" you asked, looking at the white bundle in her arms.

"My new uniform! I forgot to tell you that I got a job!" she said, holding it up.

You took it in before almost screaming.

It was a straitjacket and long featureless white pants, with a mask hung on the hanger as well.

"You guys were pretty funny today," Sonia said, winking.