RE-CAP CUS IT'S BEEN A LONG DAMN TIME: So basically all was well with Danielle (Danny) Perkins and her soon to be husband Christopher (Big Bad Wolf) Childes, when Danny was suddenly taken by the Jester Courts who have it out for Chris for killing so many peeps in that parallel world they all from (Ecrim). Long story short you pick up two years later where majority of the characters are dead cus Iggy's got herself a God complex and bada-bing-bada-boom! Danny is found and she suffering from PTSD and shit from hella bad things being done to her by the Dick Courts. Chris and them declare war on the courts even though Danny hates his ass right now cus ya know, PTSD. BUTTT, not a lot of people are getting behind him on this war thing because you know, war means there's a good chance YA GONNA DIE and cus Chris isn't exactly a fan favourite back in the Homeland (Ecrim), people be reluctant to get involved with his scary ass. BUT THEN PLOT TWIST, Danny's wheeled on in and said she might be able to help with the number's issue... and here we are today! Woop woop.

Honestly if I were you I'd just re-read the damn thing cus it's been way too long.

It's a gooden read, I swear. You know, minus the whole grammatical errors and poorly made jokes in the first few chapters cus I was 16.  

THIS SONG IS A GOODEN FOR THIS CHAPTER SO IF YOU WANT GIVE IT A LISTEN, NO PRESSURE OR ANYTHING YOU JUST DO YOU BOO.

Chapter 47

I stared at the passing pine trees in anticipation, my chin leaning heavily against the palms of my hands as the growing foliage whizzed by. Twelve hours had passed since we'd left the house, the convoy consisting of three cars; each containing a minimum of two wolves. Chris was leading the way as always, Joel riding shot-gun with another member in the backseat. Lucy and I were in the middle, and considering my can-do attitude-- no one else had sat with us.

Followed up with a third car carrying three more members and we were practically a travelling circus. We'd been stopping every so often so people had breaks driving, switching seats to insure that no one fell asleep at the wheel. Not that I was much help in that department anyway, considering my busted leg and all; I was about as useful as a chocolate tea-pot.

We'd first started off with Chris and I alone in a car, however I think my eight hour silent treatment finally got to him as he asked Lucy to take over; an arrangement I was more than happy for. To say I was still salty with him was an understatement, and I'm pretty sure silence was the best thing I could've given next to literally biting his head off.

"So... you excited?" Lucy eventually asked, speaking for the first time since entering the car four hours ago. Everyone had been treading on egg shells since my return, Chris being the only one openly speaking to me without apprehension. Lucy had been trying here and there bless her, but recently I'd been less and less in the mood to actually speak. After everything that had happened, it was as if my brain just had more important things to worry about other than idle conversation-- and as a result I'd become clipped and dry in my tone. I'd realised how meaningless all that sort of stuff was in the grand scheme of things, my patience with people going from an initial cool 60% to a pretty lonely 5%. But I couldn't stop myself. It wasn't anything personal to Lucy; it was just that I was so tired of pretending to care.

"Nope." I replied dryly, not planning to continue the conversation any further.

I'd answered, that was more effort than I usually put in.

Lucy sighed heavily, the low volume of the radio providing white noise in the background. I think she turned it on to literally drown out the silence, "You know when I was promised a spontaneous weekend away to Michigan, this wasn't what I was expecting."

"Listen, Lucy..." I sort of begrudgingly muttered out after a few seconds of tense silence, "It's nothing personal, but could we just... not talk?"

I turned to look at her in an attempt of empathy, however it was still obvious that I'd upset her. I sighed once noticing this, feeling a slight pang in my chest but not enough to actually do anything about it. I once again re-positioned myself to look out the window, the scenery that once would've interested me now numb to my brain.

Why do I feel so empty?

Why is there a hole in my chest that just won't go away?

How am I drowning, yet everyone else seems to be breathing?

"So this girl must be quite something for you to go to all this effort to track down her family and then drive thirteen hours to find her." Lucy once again piped up, causing me to stiffen in slight annoyance.

"Lucy..."

She glanced at me from the corner of her eye with a growing smirk on her face, "Hey, who said I was talking to you? I find talking to yourself to be very cathartic actually; you should try it sometime."

I huffed slightly beneath my breath, shifting my leg as it began to particularly ache. After some serious silent deliberation I eventually decided to humour her, turning my attention from the window to the road ahead. The girl isn't gonna shut up either way...

"...I'll keep that in mind."

"I am serious though," She continued, indicating left once realising that Chris was doing the same in the car upfront, "She must be important. I mean, this is the most effort I've seen from you since you've gotten back. Like, for anything."

"Something wrong with that?" I lazily drawled out, concentrating on wiggling my foot in an attempt to dull the pain in my leg.

I saw her shake her head in the corner of my eye, "No, not at all. It's nice to see you even remotely passionate about something."

I paused, glancing at the blonde with a pang of unrecognisable emotion. A few seconds passed before I caught up with myself and barked out a lousy excuse for a laugh, "Yeah, well don't get your hopes up. All I did was type in the park she mentioned on Google Maps. The family could've moved back to New Zealand for all I know."

"Yeah but that's the thing," Lucy cringed slightly, "I didn't know how to bring this up Danny, but... Shadow people tend to live in quite urban settings, like you know cities and shit. A clan living this far north-- and in a park for that matter? It's practically un-heard of."

I slowly shook my head, "No... If they're still in America, they'll be here."

"How do you know?"

"'Cause it's not a normal clan, Lucy."

* * *

"Well umm... well shit Danny I'll be honest that's ugh, that's something..." Tammy muttered, the sound of scratching completely stopping at that point. I stared at the walls anxiously, waiting for her reply as she mulled over what I'd just admitted.

Not every day you get to tell someone you're engaged to the Big Bad Wolf.

"...a good something, or a bad something?"

She paused hesitantly, "Umm... it's something alright."

But then much to my surprise, she laughed.

Like full out, heartedly chuckled.

"Holy shit, man. Your finance is like, the most famous killer in Ecrim," She breathed out in disbelief, at this point sounding as if she was talking to herself rather than to me, "No wonder you're in here."

"...what do you mean?"

The scratching began once again on her side of the wall, "As in like, everyone knows about him, you know? I mean he killed a shit ton of people Dan, I'm sorry if you didn't know but--"

"--No, I know that. I mean what do you mean that it's the reason I'm in here?" I asked, my chest tightening slightly, "I'm in here because they kidnapped me."

"Honey, you're in here because they arrested you. You do realise you're in a prison right?"

At her words, I slumped against the wall in disbelief, my eyes widening as I realised the situation. How the Hell had I not seen it sooner? Was I that stupid? These people were the government of their world, meaning that I had literally just been thrown in prison and the pack just... just...

"What the Hell?!" I exclaimed in anger, "They literally burnt down my house and killed my friend! How the f*ck is this legal?!"

"Never said it was fair." She mumbled, still scratching away at her side of the wall, "I mean, they're absolute monsters but they have got a warped sense of justice. I mean, it's not like anyone in here is completely innocent. Heck, I'm surprised I'm the only one in my family who's ended up in this joint. I mean, if you think you're crazy wait till you meet my Uncle Joe. Now that's what you call a madman."

"What'd he do?" I mumbled half-assed, staring forwards in slight shock as I still mulled over the rather obvious conclusion that I was an official prisoner of an official government. After all these years, after everything I'd done and witnessed-- my first prison sentence wasn't being held by the hands of Canada or North Korea, but by a government that the majority of the human race don't even know exist.

"He likes to burn people alive while eating their souls—and usually teenage boys more often than not, now that I think about it." She said without missing a heart-beat, her tone of voice reflecting that of someone who was remarking about the weather.

I choked on my spit.

"The funny thing is that you don't even need to burn them alive, it's just that he says it tastes different; got more of a kick to it apparently. I don't know-- I don't see it. Food is food at the end of the day. What's the point in playing with it, you know?" She added as an afterthought, still scraping away at the now almost fully lose brick.

"...I-I--"

"--Danny...?" She called after my lack of response, her brick scratching slowing down before eventually stopping all together.

A few moments later, I managed to gather my thoughts enough to move my body and attempt to peer through the tiniest of gaps that we had created through our excessive scratching. My blood began to rush to my ears, my face and chest burned as all thoughts about being in a prison were shoved into the back of my brain as more pressing matters came to mind. What did she mean by food is food? Burning alive? Souls? Who on Earth had I been speaking to this entire time?

Eventually, I found my voice to ask a low question that really should've been asked in the beginning, from the moment I had met this girl.

"...What are you Tammy?" I asked, the thumping of my heart almost drowning out the answer.

"What?" She asked, sounding genuinely confused, "Are you playing me...? Oh shit, I thought you already knew... I mean, shit! How could you not know? Haven't you figured it out since there's so much light coming through the gap?"

"...I guess. I just assumed you had a really bright window or something." I swallowed, realising immediately after that what I just said was idiotic. We were in solitary confinement, why would there be windows? Furthermore, in what day and age did the sun shine that brightly 24/7?

"Holy shit... I-I can't tell if you're dumbest person I know or the most trusting--"

I began to lose my patience, "Answer the question Tammy. Who are you?"

"Umm, yeah... Danny, the reason my cell is like this is because I can't move in this much light. Not well anyway..."

"I don't understand."

"My kind don't take too well to harsh light Dan... it kinda sucks to be fair. But I mean, I'm sorry but... no offence, I literally can't get over the fact you had no idea."

"Tammy," I urged, my voice shaking slightly as I once again attempted to peer through the tiniest of gaps to see if I could spot anything from the other side, "What are you?"

"We're ugh, we're called the Atari. But people usually call us Shadows, 'cause umm, that's fundamentally what we are really. I'm a shadow, Danny." She began to explain, as my eyes widened and gears begin to whirl within my head, "We can't move well in harsh light and mainly travel in the shadows of your world. Hence, the name."

My mind began racing as I tried to imagine what the woman I'd been speaking to for the past couple of weeks looked like. The one communication other than a beating I'd had with the outside world in months had turned out to be someone and something I'd never imagined. What do shadow people even look like? Do they even have a physical form? Had I been talking to a mass of black fog for the past two weeks? My mind couldn't help but flash to what the myths had portrayed to be Shadow People in the past, and the thought didn't settle well with me.

But then... she'd been talking about showers...dates, heck even sex! Surely fog can't have showers? Do they even have genitalia? How would it...? Why am I thinking about this?

"Danny, say something."

I audibly swallowed, "I-I umm, I need a second to process this if you don't mind."

"Go ahead." She concluded, before once again beginning to scratch away at the brick that was now becoming dangerously loose. I couldn't get my head around it, the fact that I'd been speaking to a shadow person for the past two weeks, my mind whirling slightly while trying to process the information.

"If you're a shadow..." I eventually got out after twenty minutes of silence, "...Then how on Earth are you scraping at the wall right now?"

"It's just a nickname, Danny." She explained, "People just call us it because they're dicks about our species. Like your friend Finn that you keep talking about. He's a Marbhán, but everyone calls him a corpse because nobody likes the species. Same deal. It's kinda racist actually."

I nodded to myself in understanding, beginning to chew my nails in anxiety as I slumped against the wall and deliberated my next question carefully.

Another fifteen minutes passed before I could get it out.

"But Finn..." I muttered, my thumb now practically bleeding as I'd been chewing on the skin around the nail from nervousness, "...Finn doesn't eat souls, Tammy."

She paused her scratching, and what I could've sworn to be a nervous breath could be heard, "I never said we were the good guys. I'll admit, my family is pretty notorious for being a bit... barbaric. But that's why I moved to Michigan with Ianto. It was getting ridiculous and the death toll was rising to the point where dozens were being killed in the span of a couple of weeks. It was getting a bit excessive, even for me."

"Listen there's not much I can do about my diet, if I don't eat, I die—it's as simple as that. And I'm sorry you happen to be the prey and I happen to be the predator, but I'm not a complete monster, Danny. I can control myself and if I do harvest someone I make a conscious effort to make it as humane as possible. I'd never harvest my friend. It'd be like... oh my god this is a shit example, but it'd be like killing your pet dog, if you catch my drift?"

"...A dog?"

"That's not what I mean! I just, ugh I'm just shit at putting things in perspective. I'm sorry."

I sighed, running my battered hand down my face in an effort to clear my head.

"It's okay," I sniffed, picking up the rock once more and continuing the endeavour which had lasted over two weeks now, "The way I see it, one of two things are gonna happen after we're finished with this wall. I'm either gonna meet the girl I've been speaking to these past few weeks, or finally reach sweet release. Either one is good at this point."

"Danny, please... don't say that," She pleaded, as I could practically feel her hand press up against her side of the wall, "I'd never hurt you... you've all I've got here."

"Same, Tammy... Same..." I mumbled back, as the silence was eventually filled with both sides continuing with the scraping. The air became tense and awkward, and really she was the only solace I had in this place so the last thing I needed was this to become a negative as well.

Might as well try to make a positive out of the situation.

"So... you moved to Michigan?"

* * *

The sudden slowing down of the car woke me up from my unfocused day-dream, all three cars pulling off to a lay-by the side of the road. I glanced at the dashboard with vague interest and noted the time to be 18:24, about a half-hour away from our final location. From Tammy.

"What's going on?" I mumbled, straightening awkwardly in my seat.

"Chris wants to swap seats."

"Oh great..." I muttered sarcastically beneath my breath, Lucy obviously hearing however choosing not to comment. The engines of all three vehicles were eventually switched off one by one, all three drivers hoping down from the SUVs to stretch their legs and switch positions with passengers.

Lucy bid me adieu and exited the car, a very determined looking Christopher striding in our direction before being stopped in his tracks by his younger sister. She seemed to exchange some hushed words before brushing past and joining the other pack members a little way's ahead.

Ever since my return, I'd noticed some differences in Christopher. Aside from the fact that he'd obviously aged, he now had a full blown beard coupled with shaggy hair down to the nape of his neck. His limp had become a lot less prominent, and he was using his cane less and less. He wore scruffier clothing, and always had a chain around his neck with the pendant safely hidden beneath his clothing. However, the most prominent change had to be that he seemed more agitated, and the pack members seemed much more anxious around him than I remembered. Whenever he spoke to them they looked at him in awe; as if they'd just had an encounter with a ghost or a God. This look was there before obviously, but it's as if it had been amplified ten times over since I'd last encountered the Orgate Pack.

What had happened since I was taken?

The driver door was suddenly yanked opened, Christopher eventually hoping in and shutting the door firmly after. I made a point of avoiding to look in his direction, picking at my already raw nail-beds as it had become a nasty-habit at this point. The pain would distract me from my head, and it kept me in control of at least one thing in my life.

"...Lucy says you've been talking." He eventually stated, my eyes still no wavering from my nail beds as the silence became heavy. My chest became tight and my skin clammy; as it had earlier on when he spoke. His close proximity was causing my body to react whether I liked it or not. However, I tried my best to act nonchalant when addressing him, determined not to show what he was doing to me.

"I'm not mute, Christopher." I shrugged, the sentence coming out meek even to my ears.

He nodded, "I know... But with the past twelve hours being quieter than solitude you could've fooled me. What's up, English? Talk to me."

I nearly scoffed aloud with disbelief, fighting through the sound of deafening heartbeats in my ears.

What's wrong? Are you kidding me?

"Nothing, I'm fine." I lied, turning away from him in order to try and get into a more comfortable position to nap and coincidently have as much distance between him and me possible, "Just leave me be."

The silence grew heavier.

"...I can't do that, Danny. You know that."

I sighed, "Oh really, and why is that?"

"Because I love you— "

Liar

"—and something is obviously bothering you, so I'm not leaving this rest stop until you actually talk to me about it." He finished, as I felt his eyes bore into the back of my skull.

If you love me, why did I have to come find you?

Where were you, Christopher?

Why did you leave me all alone with the monsters?

Why are you one of them?

"Then we're going to be here a while because there's nothing to talk about." I lightly seethed, the more I was having to speak to him the more frustrated I was becoming. I'd built an image of him after all these years. I'd been beaten and violated for so long because of this man that I had once considered to be the love of my life, and now any attempt to see passed the image that I had created was almost impossible. He was the reason I ended up where I did for so long, the reason all that happened to me did—and yet I was so angry with myself for holding on for as long as I did.

You see, the Jester Court pretty much all but forgot about my link with Christopher about nine months into my incarceration. After nine months, they stopped asking questions about the pack and the security and just began torturing me for the Hell of it. There was never an interrogation, never a question; I was just beaten and thrown into the arena for sport. I should've never kept up such an effort to keep my mouth shut, I should've just ended the torment and told them instantly. Maybe then Bishop would've let me go.

But I couldn't. I wouldn't.

And the more I spoke to Chris, and the more he tried to reconnect; the angrier I got.

Because it reminded me I still wouldn't tell Bishop a thing.

"Danielle, please. You've got to work with me here... I don't know what to do, just tell me what to do." He eventually said quietly, his low voice cutting through the silence and causing my chest to tighten even further.

He doesn't love you, Danny.

I closed my eyes slowly at his words, my chest practically strangling me at this point. I felt my heart in my throat as I eventually began fully turning my body to face the window, "Leave me alone, Christopher."

I consciously made and effort to hide my hands from him as they were practically tearing through my woolly cardigan at this point from squeezing it so hard. The silence was as thick as tar, as we sat in the car for what felt like hours but was probably nothing more than a couple of seconds; waiting for his response.

I tried to make out that I was in the process of attempting to nap, however little did he know my eyes were wide open and heart in my throat. I heard a deep intake of breath followed by a light shuffle from the driver's seat, "Here."

Here?

"Danny, please..." He repeated after my lack of response, "Take it."

Take what?

I eventually plucked up the courage to peak over my shoulder at what he was giving me, still making a conscious effort not to look him in the face but still having trouble merely looking in his direction. The first thing I noticed was his coarse hand holding onto what seemed to be a dangling necklace of some sort.

The delicate chain contrasted heavily against his giant man hands, but what immediately caused my heart to stop was the small diamond ring which had been looped through the chain to make a makeshift necklace.

"...What is that?" I eventually chocked out, my body frozen as my mind tried to catch up with what was happening right now.

"It's the engagement ring I was going to give you once I got back from my trip. I got it the morning you were taken and ugh, I was going to give it to you the second I found you again but... well I guess I got too attached." He admitted lowly, his hand having the slightest shake to it as he continued to hold out the dangling ring to me.

For the first time since entering the car I actually allowed my eyes to wonder to his face, his expression seemingly passive to anyone who'd been walking-by. However annoyingly, I could still look through his front; the time we'd spent together before I was taken giving me insight into his blank stares. I could instantly see past the cold exterior that he was trying to put up, just as he could probably see past mine. The slight shake in his hand and the twitch in his eye gave it away almost immediately.

He was hurt.

I fought back the quiver of my bottom lip and took a deep breath, reminding myself what I'd gone through because of this man and that I shouldn't fall back into his traps. However, even I couldn't help but reach out slightly to see the ring closer, and as my fingertips were just about to brush the ring the sleeve of my cardigan rode up slight; revealing the burns on my arms where the Court had attempted to brand away the Pack Crest.

Once my eyes glanced to the angry, puckered skin I was suddenly yanked away from the need to take the ring; the memories of the pain and why it was given flashing across my mind. I took a deep intake of breath while simultaneously pulling away and holding onto my inner wrist, ensuring that the woolly brown cardigan went back into place. "Keep it."

His composure wavered slightly, "... It's yours, English."

"Don't call me that." I muttered, cradling my shaking wrist to my chest as I shut my eyes in protest. "Anyway, I don't want it."

"Danielle, please..." He continued, going to reach forward for my hand however freezing once I flinched at the movement, "...Just take it. It was yours from the beginning, it's not mine to keep."

At this point I just wanted the encounter to be over with, my mind was swirling with too many thoughts for me to cope with the situation. The nape of my neck began sweating slightly as I ran a shaky hand through my short hair.

"Fine." I muttered out begrudgingly, turning and holding out my palm for him to give me the small diamond ring. I tried my best to stop my hand shaking but it was an impossible feat to even attempt, and after a few seconds I eventually felt the cool metal land against my open palm.

I curled my fingers around the delicate jewellery and brought it back to my lap, not daring to actually open my palm and inspect the ring closer.

"Thank you." He eventually said, before the sound of the car engine reviving to life broke the heavy silence. The other two vehicles followed suit, and soon we were back on the road and returning to our attempt of finding Tammy's family—or at least, an idea of whereabouts they were heading.

The unfortunate truth of the matter was that the chances of Tammy surviving the Courts were next to none, especially considering the state I saw her in last. My 'move' to the arena ended up being delayed for a further five months, apparently some paperwork went missing which ended up in my having to stay in the first prison for an extra couple of months (I'm still convinced it was a deliberate incident just so that Bishop could keep me as his personal play thing for just a little bit extra time).

As a result, I'd only known Tammy for six of the twenty-three months I was incarcerated by the Courts. However, those six months felt more like six years of friendship with the girl who was my only solace in the world I was living. We'd talk all day whenever we were both in the cells, both providing support and keeping each other's spirits up. Heck, she was the only reason I kept up hope for so long. If she hadn't been with me for those first couple of months, I don't think I'd be here today.

That's why I at least owed her family and explanation.

To let them know what she did for me, and what she meant to me.

And to maybe rally them behind the cause; to take down the people who did this to her.

Who killed her.

* * *

"I fucking got it!" Tammy exclaimed, as I felt the brick loosen as much as it would with the carving. The small sharp pebble I'd been using dropped to the ground as I saw the stone begin to wiggle as if someone was trying to push it through.

"Shit!" I muttered, grabbing the jagged edges in an attempt to pry the brick away in order to create a little letterbox hole, "Okay, you ready?"

"Yeah!" She breathed, as I heard shuffling on her side of the wall to prepare herself.

"Okay, three...two...one... Push!" I counted, yanking the brick towards me as much as I could to try and slide it out. I felt pressure from the other side, so she was obviously trying as hard as I was—and much to my relief, the stone began to wiggle free.

"Keep going!" She grunted, as the shaped rock began to slowly and roughly slide out of its placement. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, the brick popped out into my hands which caused me to stumble backwards slightly from my crouched position and land on my butt.

It took a second for me to catch my breath, but once I did I shuffled back onto my knees and scooted forward—attempting to peer through the hole which took my eyes a good ten seconds to adjust to due to the blaring light.

Squinting painfully at the silhouette which slowly began to come into focus, my eyes eventually adjusted and widened at the sight in front of me.

"Well... you look like shit." The creature chuckled slightly at my appearance, the movement sort of causing me to blink out of my trance. The figure in front of me resembled the shape of a human, however the skin was as pale as parchment paper, and in all honestly could've been made out of the material for all I knew. It was peeling. As in physically peeling off what seemed to be a dark, almost pitch black figure underneath. The only thing I could describe it as would be if someone had set a piece of paper on fire and blew out the flame, the burnt crisp edges being the only thing left. "... Danny."

The calling of my name brought me back from the shock, reminding me that this was the Tammy I'd been speaking to for the past two weeks. I blinked a few times more to further adjust, attempting to get past the initial shock of the skin, and the more I looked the more I saw what was underneath.

I could see a slightly hooked nose above what seemed to be rather plum lips. Her eyes which I had first assumed to be fully black, were actually merely exceedingly dark—and if you were to look hard enough you could make out even darker iris'. A top her head was a mop of dark curly hair, matted and dry yet still sticking up in all directions as if defying gravity.

It's a girl...

It's Tammy.

"Speak for yourself." I eventually managed to breathe out, my eyes darting around her to try and take it all in. The more I focused, the more I noticed the papery wisps floating around her body—the lightest dark hue gravitating around her resembling heavily of ash.

"It's a lot to take in I know." She admitted, "I'm not exactly looking my Sunday best."

"Tammy, what have they done to you?" I muttered, more to myself than to her but she heard either way.

She sighed, "It's the light. It burns me up. I told you... I don't do so good in this environment."

"Why are they doing this?" I shook my head, watching my friend in disbelief, "You're sixteen. Why would they so this to you? It's torture."

"They think it's okay because of my family," She shrugged, "That I deserve it. Which really in hindsight I sort of do."

"Nobody deserves this, Tammy." I replied firmly, attempting to formulate a plan in my head as I glanced around the room, "How does this shadow thing work then? Can you come to my side or something? It pitch black here, surely that would be better than staying in there all day? You could just come to my cell while the guards aren't looking."

"I could, but then I couldn't come back. The light is too intense and they've built it so there are no shadows in here. It would just mean we'd both get caught."

I huffed in annoyance, feeling defeated as I watched the tortured teenager in front of me who was basically being slowly burned alive. I brought my hand up to the makeshift hole and placed it on the small ledge, Tammy reflecting my actions and placing her slightly peeling fingertips above my mine. "I'm sorry, Tammy."

"It's okay." She smiled sadly, both of us falling into silence as we revelled in the first friendly touch we'd both received for I don't even know how long. She eventually took a deep breath and replaced her sad smile with a genuine somewhat happy one, "Besides! I finally got to see your ugly mug, that's a plus!"

I chuckled, "Dick."

"By the way, not to be offensive or anything but... what are you, Danny? You're not like any shifter I've ever seen..." She commented, looking me over curiously with genuine interest in her eyes.

I scoffed slightly, "Yeah, I'm no wolf. I was human but... you know, Rover happened and ugh, I guess something shifted about in there and here I am."

Her eyes widened considerably as I spoke, her smile dropping from the face and if it was even possible I could've sworn I saw the colour drain from her already almost impossible pale cheeks.

"...What?"

She visibly gulped, "Danny, you're human?"

"Yeah..." I answered, my eyebrows scrunching up in confusion, "... I mean, have you got a problem with that?"

"No! No..." She practically exclaimed, her eyes looking at me in so much sympathy I actually felt bad for myself and I had no idea what was even happening, "Just... just pray to God they don't put you in the arena."

My head cocked to the side in confusion.

The arena...?

"The what?"

"Nothing. They probably won't anyway, don't even worry about it."

My eyebrows scrunched even more, "But— "

"Shhh! You hear that?" Tammy muttered, her head whipping to the door. I dropped the matter for a moment and joined her in listening in, the emanate threat of another round of interrogation coupled with the discovery of the hole being too much of a risk to take.

I could hear talking at the end of the hall outside of our rooms.

"Guards..." I muttered, quickly scuffling away from the hole and attempting to find the brick in the dark.

"Quick!" Tammy hissed in panic, my hands hurriedly skimming against the rough ground in order to find it. My battered fingers eventually hit the distinct shape of brick as I fumbled with it in my hand before bringing it back up to the hole.

"Good luck." Tammy whispered, as I slid the brick back into place and was once again surrounded by darkness.

* * *

"So why Michigan?" I asked leaning my chin against my propped up hand which was currently perched onto the ledge of the hole we'd created.

Tammy shrugged, "No reason. We just sort of threw a dart at the board and wherever it landed we'd go. Insuring that the weather wasn't too hot mind. Dim and grey, that's our game. So here we are."

"Here you are." I mumbled back, my eyes being led to her hand which was picking at the peeling skin of her arm, "Hey, stop that. It's not good for you."

"Whatever." She huffed childishly, slumping against the wall behind her before throwing her head back, "Ugh, I'm just so bored!"

"Oh, well thanks." I chuckled, rolling my eyes at her antics. She sighed scooting back over to the hole and dramatically huffing once more.

"Sorry. There's only so much of seeing the same four walls every day you can take; you know?"

I raised my eyebrows, "Oh, and here I was thinking that I was all the interest you needed..."

"Pfft, I've seen your face every day for the past two months. I mean we have fun but, there's only so many tally charts you can make, you know?" She remarked, nodding to the little chart she'd made of who's had the most black eyes,

The one I'd acquired yesterday put me in a two-point lead.

"You're boring now." She waved off.

"Oh really?" I laughed, as she nodded knowingly in response, "You're just upset because I'm winning."

She started tapping her chin in thought, "I might ask them to aim a little higher from now on, maybe then I'd get a little less throat punching and actually start winning something as well. Win-win."

"You're crazy."

"No worse," She said seriously, before once again throwing her head back dramatically and drawling out, "I'm bored."

I chuckled, "Tell me about Michigan then."

She took a deep breath at my words and allowed her head to fall back from its dramatic position, her entire posture seeming to perk up at my question.

"It's actually not that bad," She smiled, her interest peaking once again as she adjusted her position, "We live on the coast, in this park in Copper Harbour. It's no New York but it's good."

My smile grew at her words, "Well, go on then tell me about it."

"It's just... it's good," She continued in content, nodding to herself as the smile remained plastered to her face, "We're right by this lake and the water's so clear you can see straight to the bottom. And then the beaches-- oh the beaches, Danny! The rocks are all different shades of red and you can just sit there for hours watching them reflect the sunset.

"We're surrounded by trees as well and they go right up to the rock front, and then every fall they all turn into these amazing colours. But then winter comes, and because we're so far up north everything is blanketed in snow. And I mean blanketed! Like a good thirty inches of the shit falls around every December at least—and that can double! I mean, it's cold as Hell but, goddamn it's beautiful. Especially when the Northern Lights pop up, now that is a night out."

"Sounds beautiful."

"Yeah... yeah it is." She trailed off, her smile beginning to shrink along with the happiness that had crept into her eyes by the end of her description —her whole demeanour suddenly going south as she slumped slightly in her posture, "Ianto and I used to sit on the beach every night, just watching the sunset... I wonder if he still does it..."

My smile soon disappeared with her words, my sympathy for the girl only growing as I tried to think of a way to perk her up, "Well there's only one way to find out, right?"

She glanced up from her lap in confusion.

I offered a reassuring smile, "You'll have to ask him when you get out of here."

* * *

"Hey, you there?" I heard Tammy whisper, my attempt of a nap being cut short as her familiar accent came snaking through the cracks.

I groaned slightly, "No, Danny's not here. Please leave a message after the beep...BEEP."

"Get up you nerd, I've got something for you." She chuckled, as I heard the brick be pushed out of its place in the wall and clatter to the ground.

"If it's not a pony, I don't wanna know." I mumbled turning my face into my bruised arm in an attempt to get more comfortable and turn away from the bright light.

"Damn, you've caught me. I've actually been hiding a pony in my room for the whole five months we've been talking. I wasn't going to tell you but, you pried it out of me." She answered sarcastically, causing me to once again groan and slowly sit up.

"What do you want woman?" I moaned, my voice hoarse from lack of water but at this point it was a common occurrence to not drink for over twenty-four hours at a time. You just got used to sounding like a ninety-year old chain smoker by the end.

I shuffled over to the hole and my whole body froze at what I saw.

"Tammy, what the Hell?" I exclaimed, noting that a good half of the skin from her face had been ripped off. I'd come to learn that when she was taken from the light by the guards for a beating, her skin would slowly repair itself in the dark and would ensure that she wouldn't just become a mass of black hue. However, the cost of healing herself came at the price of a beating—so none of the skin would ever fully come back.

But she'd never been this bad before, she came back worse than when she left.

She waved it off, "Don't sweat it. Guards decided to drag me through the gravel, it'll grow back. But look what I managed to nab when they were busy looking at how much skin fell off!"

Suddenly, a bottle of water was shoved through the hole. The plastic was squashed and dirty, but the water inside that filled a good two thirds of the bottle looked to be relatively clean. "What the— "

"One of the guards must've chucked it out. Score, right?!"

My dry throat involuntarily attempted to swallow as I looked down at the liquid gold in my hands, my body telling me to down the contents immediately or I would physically die. However, my conscience was having none of it, "Tammy, I can't take this."

"Sure you can! Water isn't as much of an issue with us as it is with you. I know you need it, so take it. I'll last until Wednesday, don't worry." She shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal.

I grimaced, "Tammy, the water-round has been pushed to Friday— "

"—All the more reason for you to have it. Listen, water is not an issue for me, trust me. Now if you happen to have a soul lying around now that I'd be more than willing to take it off your hands." She joked, her insisting making it harder and harder for me to resist.

"Take one of the guards, nobody'll miss him."

She scoffed, "Oh yeah, and a guard dropping dead when entering my cell isn't suspicious at all."

I sighed, looking down at the bottle once more before shaking my head in defeat, "I'll make this up to you Tammy, I swear."

And I'd like to think I did. Two days passed but I eventually managed to catch the rat which I'd been sharing my cell with for the past five months, and yes he may have put up one Hell of a fight but the bites were worth it as I handed Tammy the bitchy rodent wrapped up in my shirt.

"I need that shirt back, by the way." I smiled, stuffing the material through the hole and taking the animal along with it. She gently grasped the bundle with caution and slowly unwrapped it, grabbing onto the tail of the rat before it could scurry off.

"Danny...what is this?" She asked, dangling the struggling rodent by its tail in front of her.

"That is Winston," I began, adjusting my legs so that I could sit crossed legged on the ground, "He has been sharing my cell for the past five months and leaving me nasty surprises in places they really shouldn't be left. He also bites me when I'm asleep. So... I don't really know how souls work, but I imagine he's better than nothing."

She scrunched her eyebrows in thought as the rat continued to shriek and wiggle about, "This is girl rat, Danny."

"Winstonina then."

"I don't know what to say..." She mumbled, continuing to stare at the rodent in almost awe as I saw hunger grow in her eyes, "I mean thank you... this is... Danny thank you."

"It's okay, just repaying the favour." I reassured, awkwardly smiling and giving a slight thumbs up before going to lean against the wall, "Bon appetite."

I heard her doing the same thing over the screeching of Winstonina, the noises suddenly growing louder and louder before reaching the point where a sliver of guilt entered my brain. However, all thoughts of guilt left my mind when I reminded myself that this was for Tammy. This would give her some strength, and at the end of the day desperate times call for desperate measures.

An eerie silence eventually filled the two cells, and Winsotnina suddenly became no more.

And it wasn't long after that Tammy and I's time together followed.

I must've fell asleep at some point because the next thing I remember was being yanked roughly by my arm and dragged out of my cell. My muggy mind jolted awake as I heard a familiar scream from the cell over, my heart jumping into my throat as I noted that the brick was still out of the wall and my shirt still in Tammy's cell as I was being dragged out by one of the cells.

"Looks like you've been busy, eh?" The one dragging me sneered, the full severity of the situation suddenly hitting me with full force.

"T-tammy!" I screamed, as her sobs of pain could be heard. I began to thrash violently in an attempt to get out of the guard's painful grasp, but it only served to make him grip tighter as I was dragged passed Tammy's open cell.

The sight made bile rise through my throat as I saw her pinned on her back by two men as one continued to boot her in the face and body with as much strength he could muster.

"Tammy!" I once again screamed out, my voice breaking from the sheer volume as tears began to stream down my face. The sight of the young girl being beaten pushed me over the edge as I mustered whatever strength I could to kick out of the guard's grasp and scramble to try and protect my friend.

I practically threw myself over her body and attempted to shield her as best as I could. But I couldn't have been on her for more than half a second before I was yanked off by the same guard and dragged away screaming.

"You're lucky Carters already paid for your ass or you'd be dead right now." He growled, as I continued to thrash my body as much as I could, "Your girlfriend over there however, well she's not that lucky."

"Tammy no!" I sobbed, struggling as much as I could against his grip. The sixteen-year old's head craned to look in my direction, the majority of her face disappearing to reveal the black figure beneath due to the force of the kicks. However, whatever skin that was left was beaten and bruised, with tears rolling down her face as she paused her screaming to look at me in pure sorrow. It's as if time went in slow-motion when I looked into her eyes, it was if every second of agony was just amplified tenfold, "No please!"

The guard holding me grunted, "Hey! A little help here?"

One of the men holding down Tammy nodded at the other and left her body to be abused, the teenager not even putting up a fight anymore as she was beaten to an inch of her life. The other guard went to grab my thrashing legs, and I got a good couple of hits in before he actually managed to hold on.

They both hoisted me up and carried me out of the room kicking and screaming, the image of Tammy being beaten eventually leaving my eyesight however staying fresh in my mind and still doing so to this day.

All of this because I fell asleep.

It's all my fault.

She's dead because of me.

I screamed so loudly I'm pretty sure I tore my voice-box, but the two guards acted as if nothing was up as I was carried down the hallway and even a flight of stairs. Eventually we reach a brick wall which was lined with what seemed to be built in old fashioned morgue refrigerators all lined up next to each other, some doors being open and some closed.

"Right then, in you go bitch. This'll keep you till Carter comes to pick you up. He's gonna have fun with you." One of them grunted as they hoisted me into one of the cold chambers. I once again tried my best to thrash out of their grasp but was practically thrown in head first without any time to really do much other than scream and kick.

I quickly attempted to turn around and crawl out of the small confined space, but before I could crawl back to the door my shirt was thrown into the chamber and the heavy metal door slammed in my face. There was a small letterbox hatch situated perfectly at eye level which I attempted to quickly peer through and find a way to get out and back to Tammy, but my view was quickly blocked by one of the guards who squatted down to meet my gaze.

"Sweet dreams, darling." He smirked, before spitting in my direction and sliding the hatch shut with a clang. I was suddenly once again bathed into darkness, my head and shoulders pressing against the ceiling of the cold chamber and my breathing heavy with fear and dread.

Tammy...

Tammy I'm so sorry...

* * *

"We're here..." Christopher commented, as we turned onto a road marked Hunter's Point Park.

I instantly perked up in my seat, my senses on high alert as I watched the trees pass by along the dirt road. My eyes peered around in anticipation as I bounced slightly from the rough terrain. The path was narrow, with trees lining both side and no sign of life but hiking trail signs dotted left right and centre. Is this the right place? Would Tammy live in such a public area?

We eventually reached a lay-by and pulled up along the side of the road. All three engines cut off as everyone eventually clambered out of the cars and had a look around, all coming short and slowly making their way back to the vehicles twenty minutes later.

I sat anxiously gripping my ring while waiting for any news, my eyes darting between the tree line as I tried my best to make out any shapes within the shadows. The sun was going to set soon and I really wanted to at least find something before we call it a night and find a nearby motel.

"Anything?" Lucy asked, as all seven wolves returned while shaking their heads no.

"I've got nothing. Maybe if we shift we could pick up a scent? See if there's a chance we missed something?" Joel suggested.

Chris shook his head, "It's too risky. We're here without permission, the last thing we need is to make it look like we're here to cause harm."

"Don't worry," A voice suddenly called from the foliage, a man dressed as ranger in his mid-thirties stepping out from one of the paths with a somewhat friendly face, "You've already done that. Can I help you?"

Ah shit, a human.

"Ah, ugh... no we're not looking for trouble we're just here for business." Chris replied, subconsciously stepping closer to the cab of the car where I was sat.

"Really? What kind of business?" He quizzed, my patience wearing thin as he continued to walk towards us and speak when we could be out there searching.

Chris shook his head, "Nothing really. Just ugh, company retreat is all. Bonding exercises and all that."

"Oh, is that so?" He nodded, coming to a stop a couple of feet away from the group of six insanely tall relatively buff men and two tiny women, "Didn't know wolves did that sort of thing. Don't you usually just run around the woods naked with each other or something?"

The whole group froze.

Wait... what?

"Um...excuse me?" Chris slightly chocked, keeping a relatively passive expression but still obviously slightly shook. How in the world did a human suss us out so quickly?

"What? That just a rumour?"

Joel shook his head slightly in confusion, "I'm sorry but how did you— "

"--You're not exactly subtle," The man cut across, giving Joel a sarcastic smile before scanning the rest of the group, "Plus it's my job to know. So please give me a damn good reason why you're trespassing on occupied territory right now."

"We're looking for Ianto," I replied over everyone's heads while still sat in the SUV, meeting the man directly in the eye as I said it. I didn't see the point of beating around the bush if the guy already knew who we were, maybe he had answers to our questions, "Any idea where we might find him?"

He seemed to pause for a second to take in what I'd just said, an eye brow raising when he'd obviously gathered his thoughts, "And what on Earth would you want with a man like Ianto, Little Lady?"

I decided to ignore his obvious patronization and answer truthfully, "I knew his wife, Tammy."

His demur changed instantly with my words, his entire face turning dark as he began practically glaring at us, "What kind of sick joke you trying to play here?"

"No joke," I replied calmly, "I just want to talk to him."

"You with the Courts?"

"If we were, wouldn't you be dead right now?" Chris practically glowered, the thought of being associated with them obviously not a positive one in anyone's mind.

The man remained silent, the air tense as he continued to watch us all sceptically. He kept a particularly close eye on me, but I held my ground and met his gaze for every second they kept mine. Whoever this guy was, he was our ticket to finding Tammy's family, and Goddamit I wasn't going to lose it.

"Fine." He eventually spat begrudgingly, "I'll take you to him. But know that you are severely outnumbered. Any funny business and you'll be dead before you can say 'I'm sorry'."

"Thank you." Chris grinded out, "Much appreciated."

The man turned away and began walking towards a parked Range Rover some ways down the road. Everyone followed suit, and soon they were all back in their respective vehicles waiting for the ranger to show the way.

Chris turned the ignition, and as we sat waiting for our guide to enter his car I couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of hope, "You think this is it?"

With a tight chest I nodded, "I hope so."

Suddenly the range rover was side-by-side to my open window, the man gesturing to us tensely, "So who am I telling wants to speak to him?

"Orgate."

The sun was well and truly on its descent by the time we reached a pretty secluded house in the woods, and when I say house a more accurate term would have to be mansion. The place was huge and could've easily been a strong contender against the original pack house. The panels were a dusty blue with white accents dotted about, and if you looked hard enough you could make out some flowers beds on the window sill. Cute...

But not so cute were the twenty darkly clad people all lined up outside said house, all with stances that said 'I've been to prison and shanked a man.' All vehicles stopped at the opening of the gravel drive and everyone inside seemed to take a slow moment to just take in the scene in front of us.

"This should be fun." Chris mumbled, perhaps more to himself than to me as he took the first step and left the car. The other pack members weren't far behind, and after taking a deep breath I pocketed the ring before also opening the door in an attempt to leave the car. I struggled a little bit due to my busted leg, but before I could even get further than turning in my seat Christopher was by my side once again, "I got you."

Before I could protest he grabbed my waist and hoisted me down from the vehicle, his hands causing my body to burn as my chest tightened considerably. His hands stayed there for way longer than necessary and I nervously fought the urge to slap them away. He stood unnecessarily close to the point where his chest was practically brushing mine. However, determined not to look at his face in this close a proximity I merely burned a hole into his chest with my eyes.

Before I could do much of anything he moved away and let me go, his hand however still hovered behind my back as I slowly and wobbly hobbled passed him unsteadily. A flash of pain coursed through my leg every time I walked but I bit through the pain in order to face the crowd in front of me. I made it about four steps before one ridiculously sharp pain ran through my knee, causing my whole body to buckle which simultaneously resulted in about seven wolves going to grab me at once.

"I'm fine." I mumbled, Chris having caught my elbow before I fully collapsed to the floor. Still wobbly I attempted to straighten myself once more, gingerly putting weight on the leg to gage whether or not it was safe to walk on again.

"Danny?"

I swear I've never looked up so quickly in my life.

There at the door of the house, stood next to an insanely tall pale man with pitch black hair and tattoos on what looked like every inch of his body other than his face, was the one face I didn't think I'd ever see again. The face that had haunted my dreams for the past year and a half. It took me a second to recognise her, but there she was—clad in clean clothes and full skin, the girl who'd been my only solace for so long.

My heart practically dropped to my gut and my chest tightened in euphoria as I watched the young girl who'd seen and experienced so much more than she should have at her age, begin to walk slowly in my direction, her movements spurring my own as I practically forgot about my leg and pushed away from the pack limping. She began descending the porch stairs, my eyes taking her in fully as I noted her now crooked nose and clean dark curls which reached the nape of her neck. This was the first time I'd ever seen her whole face without any direct burns from the harsh lighting, and it brought me so much comfort that I couldn't help but feel tears well up in my burning eyes.

The driveway was long, but even from a distance I could definitely see tears beginning to roll down the young girl's cheeks. She wore a giant mint jumper that reached down to her knees (which I was pretty sure must've been Ianto's, although I could hardly imagine the fully clad in black man wearing such a bright colour) and large fluffy sleeping socks which really wouldn't be comfortable on gravel. Her bruised legs were exposed to the cold air but she didn't even seem to notice as she finally reached the bottom of the stairs.

And the minute she did I began running.

And she did the same.

I ignored the blinding pain in my legs as I ran towards my friend, tears freely streaming down my face at this point from the overwhelming feeling of euphoria I was experience. It felt like an eternity, but it couldn't have been more than a couple of seconds before I engulfed the teenager in my arms and held back sobs of content; pulling her further into my arms and holding on for dear life.

I had to be the adult here, but even I couldn't help but let a tiny sob of happiness break my lips as we both collapsed to the floor in a heap of emotions—still holding on as tight as we good. Our sobbing soon reached the point where we couldn't tell if we were laughing or crying, rocking each other back and forth from the sheer emotion of it all before fully falling to our sides without a care.

She made it.

She actually made it.

"You were right about this beach," I smiled, hugging my knees to my chest as I heard her make her way towards me through the rocky coastline, "It is beautiful."

The sun was now officially setting, the orange sky lighting the sea and beach beautifully. The copper infused rocks reflected the light to create a brilliant red and the sea was so calm it was almost supernatural. Heck for all I know it could've been from everything that had happened these past couple of years.

"I'm telling you I don't lie," She grunted while attempting to sit down on the blanket next to me with two full cups of cocoa in her hands, "Here. I can't tell you how many of these I've had since coming back. I swear, that saying about not knowing what you had until its gone is scarily accurate."

"Thanks," I mumbled, taking the large enamel mug from her and hugging it to my chest in an attempt to warm up.

"So I guess we made it, huh?" She stated as I began blowing on my hot chocolate to cool it down, "How'd you even find me?"

I took a sip of the warm drink, shrugging at the not so sophisticated answer I was about to give, "I googled parks in Copper Harbour, Michigan. It was either this or a campground, figured you'd choose the less public option."

"Damn... you came all this way on a chance?" She whistled, readjusting her bum to try and get more comfortable, "I would've thought you'd have at least pulled some strings with your old army buddies or something. Gave me the shock of my life when Parker called the house to say that Orgate were at the door."

"Who?"

"The ranger," She explained, "He's married to one of the clan members; you're not the only human with a thing for the supernatural. He and Andrew got hitched about five years ago, since then he took the ranger job and keeps and eye out for any nasty surprises. Like say for instance, a group of wolves barreling down the track with teeth baring?"

 "He did a good job at spotting them, I'll give him that." I sighed, taking another sip of my drink.

"Yeah, he's good..." She trailed off, the silence becoming comfortable as we sat and listened to the distant calls of seagulls and the lapping of the calm waves against jagged rocks. We'd been in each others company so often in those five months that the need to speak wasn't exactly necessary, something I was entirely grateful for seeing as everyone else had been trying to get me to talk excessively for since I got back, "It's still hasn't sunk in, you know? That we're out? It all just seems so surreal..."

I paused with my drinking to turn and look at my friend, the burning question I'd been meaning to ask since the second I saw her bubbling to my lips, "... How the Hell did you survive, Tammy? Last time I saw you they were beating you within an inch of your life, how did you walk away from that?"

"Well, turns out its pretty hard to kill a shadow," She replied, taking a swig of her own drink with a satisfied gulp, "They gave it a damn good shot though. I think it took about an hour before they realised that without skin there wasn't much for them to hit—pretty hard to beat someone when there's nothing to actually beat. I just did the best I could with the situation and evaporated my organs, hurt like a bitch but at least it meant I wasn't getting any direct hits to the kidney."

I shook my head in disbelief, "You realise that everything you just said makes no logical sense, right?"

"I just make most of it up as I go along." She shrugged, looking into the sunset with a sigh before turning to face me, "You scrub up pretty well for a tortured lady though, I'll give you that."

"Right back atchya, sexy." I chuckled, holding up my mug for a toast and tapping it against hers, "How you doing by the way?"

She blew out a heavy over-exaggerated breath at my answer, turning to look down towards her whipped cream topped drink with pursed lips, "Good considering everything that's happened. Sleeping's shit and I lost a couple of toes, but I think that beating I took when they split us up was the worst that I remember; lost five teeth with that one."

My eyes shut in guilt as I faced Tammy in remorse, "Tammy I'm so sorry, if I hadn't fallen asleep that day then maybe— "

"--It wasn't your fault Danny. I should've been more careful and given back the shirt the minute I got it, you're not to blame for what happened." She replied firmly.

"Yeah, but— "

"—No buts. Besides, look at what happened! We both made it out alive, right? Just thank God we made it out relatively safe, the same can't be said about the others who survived the truck accident." She shrugged, sipping her cocoa and going back to watch the sunset.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"We're lucky to even be here, man. After the truck was taken down they took all the surviving cargo to a nearby hospital. Anyone who was there for more than six hours mysteriously went missing. I'm just damn lucky one of the nurses mixed up the bed numbers in my paperwork and I was skipped. The courts have got eyes and ears everywhere... speaking of, how in the Hell did you get out?"

My mind was in slight shock.

Those poor women.

"I never went to the hospital," I mumbled, placing the half empty mug down next to me and subconsciously reaching into my pocket to fidget with the engagement ring, "One of the Witch Doctors recognised the Orgate crest on my wrist and took me straight to the pack. One is a Shaman so I guess I've finally figured out what she saw to take me straight there instead of through the system."

"If I were you I'd make that Shaman your new best friend, seriously."

I sighed, "Those women must be going through Hell right now. Worse than before. I mean, imagine thinking you were finally free only to be yanked straight back in."

"It's okay, Dan." Tammy reassured, placing a hand on my shoulder, "Ianto and Chris are in the house right now forming a strategy. Both of them together and we double our chances at taking down the courts, don't even sweat it."

"We can hope."

Still subconsciously fiddling with the ring in my hands, I could feel Tammy's eyes staring before she asked the inevitable, "Speaking of Chris... how are things? Am I gonna have to buy a ticket to Bora Bora or can I hold on to my savings?"

"It's... complicated." I sighed, looking up at the quickly descending sunset.

She scooted closer, placing her now empty mug down next to her and giving me her full attention, "Try me."

"It's just... it's like they don't understand, Tammy. Anyone! I come back and... they all expect me to bounce back and be the same old Danny that I was before all of this went down. Everyone's just... and then Chris expects... it's just too much." I confessed, letting my frustrations become vocal as I sat with the one person who could actually relate.

She sighed, grabbing my hand and squeezing it in hers, "But don't you want it to be like what it was? Chris still loves you, isn't that what you want? To start again?"

"Yes, but it can't be as it was, Tammy." I muttered, my whole body feeling heavy as the thoughts that had been pressing my mind for so long were finally out there, "Too much has happened for it to just be normal again. Or, as normal as it was at least. Plus, if it wasn't for Chris, Tammy; I wouldn't have gone through any of this. If it wasn't for him I'd be back in New York right now living as normal of a life as I could've."

"Danny, it's not his fault. He didn't do this, the Courts did."

I shook my head, "The Courts did this because of him, I can't get past that after all that's happened."

"Do you still love him?"

The million-dollar question.

"I-I don't know. I've built this image of him for so long it's just, I don't know what to think anymore. I don't even know if he still loves me." I mumbled.

"You're kidding right? Have we met the same man? If he didn't love you, why has he done everything he's done so far since your escape? I mean, be fair." She countered, looking at me with raised eyebrows.

I shrugged, "Guilt. You don't know him like I do, Tammy. We both know it's his fault I ended up at that place—he's probably just trying to be kind because he feels bad. He thinks he's nice like that, he's that sort of person."

"Well..." Tammy began, placing her other hand beneath the one she was already holding to create a hand sandwich, "Like you said, I obviously don't know him as well as you do. But what I do know is, if he's anything like what you're describing him to be? Someone like that doesn't give someone an engagement ring just because you feel 'bad'."

I mulled over her points with an already overly worked brain, her words seemingly solid but my stubborn side was still holding onto the image I'd created. I'd planned that was going to happen if in any way shape or form I would ever escape in such detail, and each scenario I'd devised all resulted in one thing.

Chris admits it was his fault and I see him for the villain he truly is.

He admits he gave up and just never looked for me.

And I walk away.

The fact that the real scenario didn't follow my mental script was fucking with my thoughts, and causing me to have to re-think everything that I had once considered to be fully black and white. "I should just throw this ring into the sea and be done with it... But here I am..."

"Here you are." She mumbled in return, sighing and joining me in staring at the sunset as the last rays of light began to leave the sky.

I sighed, "I just wish I had a normal life you know? With a mortgage and a white picket fence and only the war to thank for my PTSD."

"Yeah... Hey, at least in the war you got to fight back, right? Had a fair chance? That's been put into perspective I guess." She replied, placing her head on my shoulder to get comfortable, "With the Courts... you just had to sit there and take it. Like it would just make you feel so hopeless.

"...Well, unless you were in the arena. I mean you got a little pay back there, but fucking Hell it was not worth it. You're so damn lucky you didn't have to go through that shit man. That in itself is a trauma all in its own, I'm telling you." She recalled painfully, her face scrunching up as the memories caused her whole body to tense.

I paused for a moment, not knowing how to tell her but decided that it was just best to get it out.

"They put me in the arena, Tammy." I admitted, not looking away from the sunset as the young girl froze for a moment before pulling away to look at me.

"Impossible." She mumbled, looking at me in slight disbelief, "How is that possible, Danny? No offence but you're human... how the fuck did you survive?"

I pursed my lips and turned to her with a forced smile, the memories all too fresh as I looked at my shocked friend in understanding, "Turns out it's pretty hard to kill a human too."

Her face dropped, all disbelief replaced by pure sadness as she returned to her original position of placing her head on my shoulder and squeezing my hand tightly, "I'm sorry, Danny. We're going to get through this, you'll see."

I sighed heavily, squeezing her hand back in return as we watched the sun fully set and be replaced by countless glinting stars in the sky. My other hand was continued holding onto the engagement ring, my fingertips still rubbing the smooth metallic surface as it annoyingly gave me comfort. Why couldn't this just be black and white anymore?

Why did a part of me still love him?

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*RIDICULOUSLY OLD IGGY EMERGES FROM THE SHADOWS* 

*said in raspy old person voice* "I have returned, you young wiper snappers."

Alright so I may have taken a year hiatus to sort of... ya know... sort me life out...

And I may have not told anybody...

But I'm back! 

It's 4:30AM

I've officially started and finished my first year of university!

I also now have a doggo.

He is cute.

Look.

If you can't forgive me, do it for pupper.

He's the only reason I didn't upload over Christmas because he just graced my life with his presence. So I mean really, it the cute doggos fault.

Look at that fresh faced pupper.

In an attempt to smooth this over a lil' bit more with y'all, I made this chapter EXTRA long. As in, 26 pages on word long. Like damn, this took dedication guys not gonna lie.

What are you're thoughts on this chapter?? Lemme know down below! 

Y'all genuinely mean so much to me and now that I've taken this break I'll make a point of updating more often! There a good ten chapters left of this book I'd say, and yes I shoudl've made it into two books but AH WELL, WHATCHYA GONNA DO!

So its now 4:45 and I have work at 9AM so imma go to bed now!

Smell you later alligator!!

Much love,

Peace!

Iggy X