What Have They Done To Us by Mako and Grey.
~~~

Dear, Sally.

Has Mobotropolis returned to its former glory? Is it nice there? Does it feel like home?

How's the gang? Are Bunnie and Antoine hitting it off? What about Rotor? Is Nicole alright?

How's...how's Uncle Chuck? Is he mad?

Are you mad?

How have you been?

I hope you haven't stressed yourself out too much. Poor Bunnie and Nic' if that's the case.

I'm kidding. But seriously, you're too good to let the world get you down.

You're too good for me. Always were.

Are you mad I left? I'm mad at myself, so I don't blame you.

Honestly, I've been mad at myself for a lot of things lately.

You always said I was a great leader. Never understood why. That's always been more your thing. You're the best of the best, Sal.

Second I'm on my own and what do I do? Make me and my- our friends criminals. Gun chases us down and we have to hide.

Did you see that on the news?

Fixed it, of course. You know me. I always turn things around, huh?

I've been saying that a lot too. "You know me".

Funny thing is, you're probably the only person (apart from Egghead but he doesn't count) who actually does. I still haven't told them, by the way.

How sick is that?

Tails is my brother. He's...he's everything to me. He's all I've got, Sal. I can't lose him but...things are weird lately. I'm trying to make it right- but you've always been better at this sorta thing. He's stressed, I can tell. Not just about me but with everything else going on.

Guess you don't really know about that, huh? Sorry.

Chaos, I am so sorry. For so so many things. For everything.

Starting to feel like I'm falling behind, Sal. Ironic, huh?

I don't know what to do. About Tails. About Eggman. About these Chaos Emeralds (I'll explain later). How can I convince the world I won't destroy it when I don't even believe that myself?

I'm worried about Amy, too. She's always been...unapologetically herself. Maybe it's in my head (I keep seeing things that aren't there), but she's not been herself lately. It's like she's trying to be something else.

Trying to be you.

I never wanted her to....

Amy's incredible. Always has been. I've always admired how unafraid she is to express herself. Equally terrified.

She overwhelms me.

She makes me all sweaty and tongue-tied. I can barely hear her over my heart pounding. I feel like I'm both in the clouds and sinking deep underwater around her.

Maybe I'm really losing it, huh?

Eggman said that was normal.

I don't...I don't think I've been handling everything as well as I thought, Sal.

How well can you really handle your family dying in front of you anyway?

I can still feel him sometimes. My old man. His body getting colder. No matter how fast I run- I can always hear his breathing stop. My ma's beg for me to come back.

Sonia's and Manic's screams.

It's funny, I never heard that at the time. But now? I can't even close my eyes without it.

I can smell the smoke, too. Christmas Island. Knothole. Mobotropolis.

Did I ever tell you that we lived in Green Hills for a while too?

It's where I discovered my speed. Properly, I mean. Me and ma raced there. She beat me. But that's cause she had the experience.

I don't remember the colour of her eyes. I don't really remember any of my family's.

Guess that's what happens when you keep pushing it out of mind, huh?

You didn't. You were braver than me.

Can...can you remember yours?

If my mum was alive, would I beat her in a race?

I've noticed I've stopped playing the guitar too. Tails has commented on it. Amy too- she wants me to play her something still.

Maybe I should.

Not sure if I'll remember anything though.

If my old man was alive, would I still have lessons with him?

Stopped picking sunflowers too. They don't smell like how they used to. Cream's been wanting to make flower crowns.

It breaks my heart when I tell her I can't.

But I don't have it in me. Pathetic, ay?

If Sonia was alive, would I be able to make them again?

Don't really listen to music anymore. Or draw. I'm not sure why. I don't mess around much with Tails either. He's just annoyed at me for other reasons- and they aren't fun.

Maybe if Manic was around I'd be the most embarrassing, annoying older brother.

Knuckles is kinda like that. I can tell he's stressed too. Been getting visits from Tikal (I'll explain in a bit). Been warned about me.

Oh. I'm the Catalyst for Mobius' end by the way.

I know you're laughing (I miss hearing that), but it's true!

I won't let it get to me though.

I can't.

I've been messing up too much. Every step I make could lead to worldwide freedom or absolute catastrophe. It's a path I'm struggling to walk.

Could do with you being here, Sal. I miss ya.

Can I admit something?

I'm tired. I hate it. Can't even sleep- gotta avoid the screams (not that they shut up when I'm awake). Can't really stomach chilli dogs anymore either. I feel sick all the time, and I know not eating right isn't helping.

Shadow caught me recently. Ya know, emptying the ol' hatch. We had a race after a while. I couldn't keep up for long.

That's what's really starting to get scary.

I can't keep pace with anything anymore. I just...I'm starting to not see a way out, Sal.

Don't panic. I won't quit. You...you know me.

Right?

Someone has to.

Or have I really pushed everyone away?

Either way, I won't stop fighting. I can't. I don't deserve that.

Too many have died for and because of me.

Maybe if I had shut up my dad would've survived.

I wanna fix this, Sal. It's why we need the Chaos Emeralds.

Oh right. Metal's back. He's got two of 'em now (there's seven).

We think Snively's behind this. Snively!

Are you...have you guys been keeping tabs on him?

Has he done something to you?

I should've called. When Gun turned on us. When Eggman came back. When Silver and Blaze arrived.

They're some new friends, by the way. I think Blaze trusts me. She always seems so...she acts like we've been friends for years. As much as she does I mean- she's not exactly full of expressions.

Maybe I should ask her why that is.

Silver seems willing to trust me. But honestly I think he's just waiting for me to mess up so he can prove to everyone he was right.

Or maybe I'm just being harsh. Dude's been through a lot.

It's hard to tell. Shadow says I'm good at reading people's character. I don't know how when our friends' faces twist right in front of me.

Yeah. It's not just in nightmares anymore.

Sometimes Shadow looks really judgemental- but I swear he doesn't really look like that. Tails looks angry at me, but he...he wouldn't really be. Amy looks scared sometimes- but out of anyone she'd never be with me. Right?

I don't blame her. None of them. I'm scared too.

I've never felt so...terrified.

And angry.

I'm judging myself. Beating myself up for things I never blamed myself for before. Which makes me angry and scared and than I kick myself for feeling that too.

I want it to stop.

It's not...fun, anymore.

I miss the quiet.

There's always buzzing. Laughing. Screaming.

There's this...thing that keeps yelling at me. I'm always coming up too short. Never fast enough. Never brave enough. Never strong enough.

The Fastest Thing Alive is better than this.

Sonic is better than this.

I'm sorry. For all of it, Sal.

The brightest lights tend to be the ones that get snuffed out the fastest though, ay?

I'll fix this. I'll....

I don't know.

But I'll do something.

I won't die with him winning.

Don't you worry about me, okay? None of you have to.

I'll make it through. At least until I've made things right.

See you later,
Olgilvie.

—————

The moon was beautiful. A calming presence. Comforting. Perhaps it was him reminiscing on when he and Tails would talk about going there someday. In the quiet of the fox's home, he crept from his bedroom where nightmares lay and snuck by the living room. His friends snored away and the sight of them all gathered made him smile.

Times like that reminded him why he needed to keep going. If not for himself- it had to be to ensure their future.

Thus, he gently pushed the workshops creaking door open to slip inside. He cringed, but Tails continued to drool over schematics and cyan rings. A baby blue blanket lay over him and Sonic's ears dipped.

He was glad Cliff had been there for his brother, of course. Just...it was meant to be him. It only served as a reminder on how he kept coming up short.

He lifted a stool and set it beside the fox, stifling a yawn as he perched. He strained a smile and watched the gentle breaths of the kit for a while.

He stood behind, of course.

"Peaceful."

"Ain't it?" Sonic whispered.

"I hope this serves as a reminder-."

"I get it. Alright?" He turned.

"Don't need you to challenge me, by the way. I know I can handle it."

"With all your failures, I thought it would be helpful."

His eyes watered, but the enigma merely grinned and Sonic found his will depleting. Thus, he returned to Tails and reached for fur atop his forehead. It was unkept- much like his namesakes. His eyes were dark and he almost looked ten years older than he actually was. When Tails began purring, his shoulders relaxed in content.

"Sorry, Little Buddy." He murmured and rested his own head over his arm.

He yawned. "Still fancy goin' to the moon? Hope you don't hate me that badly."

Blue eyelids drooped. "Me and you...against the world. Right?"

Sonic was asleep by the time Tails' namesakes fluttered over him.