[narrator POV]
location: {redacted} time: {**/**/1931}

[the camera zooms into a heavily guarded building as it cuts to the inside of a room with everything around was shattered, broken or torn apart by someone who we see seems to be typing on a keyboard]

???: thousands times I've built, designed and destroyed, rebuilt those two for THREE YEARS AND NOT ONCE HAVE THEY SHOWN ALLIANCE TO MY CAUSE!! {the mysterious person sits and Rubs his temple's and pounders what they were doing wrong} as long as I have that thing she'll help me creating more of them wether she likes it or not heh, soon my grand design of a world will soon come to fruition {suddenly he was startled by the blaring sound of alarms} WHAT THE!? (Looks through the security cameras to see the cause of it) NO NO NO!! {he quickly slams his hand on a button) CODE RED SECURITY ALERT SECURITY ALERT WE HAVE RUN AWAY'S STOP THEM BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY AND RETRIEVE THAT BLASTED MACHINE, but keep it unscathed and alive shes the key to my GOD DAMN LIFES WORK!

(Elsewhere in the building)
{3rd POV}

???-1: KEEP RUNNING WE'RE ALMOST THERE

???-2: I grow tire of running why not stay and fight so we may bathe ourselves in our enemy's body fluids!

???-3: eww that's disgusting why would you say it like that

???-1: THIS WAY!! {they turn down the left hall as the sight of a dead end is all there is} ah fuck

???-2: heheh [???-2 pulls out what appears to be a rocket launcher and aims it at the wall] FIRE IN THE ASS HOLE!!

???-1: {facepalms} it's fire in the "hole" dick-nips

???-2: .....I like my one better [with the pull of the trigger the wall was blown to smithereens as the three of them see the night sky for the first time] ....wow.... It sucks {???-2 said with nothing but disappointment in his tone}

???-3: I quite like it.. hopefully I can find my father {she lowers her head as the thoughts of her being taken away from her father replays in her mind, only to snap back to reality when ??? Gives her a head pat}

???-1: hey don't worry we'll find him and you'll be reunited with him [holds ???-3 hands to comfort her] and don't forget you got us your two bro's

???-2: I once again repeat myself I do not see either of you as family {???-2 says with disgust at what ??? Said} we are completely different from each others and I wish not to be anyway related to any of you

???-1: well fuck you too big guy

{the trio jump as they run deep into the nearest forest as the building went on high alert to capture them as big headlights were searching around as one shines right into the audience}

[time-skips to 2001 as the morning sky's were clear as the city was having a wonderful spring morning]

[Narrator POV]

Dispatcher: (intercom) Alright, it looks like we got sonic nally.

(Wait wha?)

[The sound of whirring of a helicopter blade and then to a zooming shot of the helicopter.]

Dispatcher: (intercom) He's been really hard to catch because he's so fast, but fortunately, we have him in this enclosed space.

sonic: (muffled) I'm gonna kill all of you!
Dispatcher: (intercom) Yep, we've heard that one before.

[Sounds of fighting and scattering rings are audible from inside the helicopter.]

Dispatcher: (intercom) Anyway, so- oh wait...
Sonic: (muffled) I'm bustin' out now! I'm actively busting out the prison.

[Sounds of fighting and scattering rings are audible from inside the helicopter.]

Dispatcher: (intercom) Oh god, he's actually doing it.

Sonic: I'm now outside of the prison bars! Here I go!

Dispatcher: (intercom) You're a fugitive to law, Sonic.

[Spindash sounds can be heard as Sonic breaks the door and flies out of the doorway.]

(Wait what the hell's going on!?)

Sonic: Blam! I told you! (grabs onto missile holster of helicopter) I was gonna break free!

Dispatcher: (intercom) You son of a bitch, Sonic.

Sonic: Live and Learn, everybody. That's what I'm talking about!

Sonic: Talk about a low budget flight! No food or movies? I'm- (Big peeks out of the doorway) Big?! What are you doing here?

(This wasn't how this was supposed to go WHATS GOING ON?)

Dispatcher: (intercom) He's also being brought into custody.

Sonic: You need to go back home. (Sonic jumps off of the plane with his skateboard that just appeared) I have a suspicion you left the oven oooooooooooooonnnnnn!
[Sonic Generations' City Escape Act 1 starts playing as Sonic drops onto the road.]

Sonic: Woooooooooooooo!

(This would actually be a cool JPEG?)

[meanwhile in a different part of the city]

{???-2 POV}

???-1: man we checked everywhere and not one single sign of some blue cat

???-2: (he smacks ???'s head hard causing the fella to get fall over) your an idiot the wanted poster said it was a blue gumball hedgehog

???-1: well excuuuussse me mr I know everything about hedgehogs

???-3: maybe we shouldn't fight over this I mean we are on a mission to stop this evil hedgehog

???-1: (spins and stands next to ???-3 and looks at ???-2) exactly so come on big guy let's just go get this fella and smock some weed afterwards

???-2: none of us can even SMOCK WEED YOU GOD DAMN IDIOT WE'RE MACHINES!!

???-1: speak for yourself mother fucker your able to download weed.exe no problem

???-2: and yet I refuse it because it messes up my mental state and I can't shoot properly, (points aggressively at ???-1) so how about you shut up Y/N

Y/n: ugh fiiine gunnery whatever ya say big guy

[y/n said with a smug look only to receive a punch to the face delivered by ???-2]

???-2: I told you my names not gunnery or any stupid nickname you spit out if i told you once I told you twice, my name is sarge

Y/n: (shrugs) whatever sarge (Y/n then looks at the wanted poster in sarge's hand closely) so where do you think we'll find our target

???-3: I think it's best if we split up to cover more ground, (???-3 proceeded to pull a map of the city out of her pocket) Y/n you check on the west side of the city and sarge you check the east side and that's leaves me with the north side, if he's not in any of those places we'll meet back up at (points to a street on the south side of the city) this location.

sarge: that's acceptable (loads his mini-gun)

Y/n: heh always the smart one belle

Belle: aw thanks y/n

Y/n: (starts stretching his body) alright time to show this cat-

Sarge: hedgehog

Y/n: -what we're made of (y/n then struck a pose making sure he was pointing straight at sky) LETS GO TEAM REBEL!!

Sarge and belle: is the pose really needed

Y/n: yes.. yes it was, see ya soon guys (y/n with quick pace sped off to the west side of the city)

Sarge: I hope the idiot dies [sarge then made his way to his area]

Belle: (she began walking away to her spot) i just hope we can figure out why someone like this hedgehog went from good to evil so quick?

Sarge: "it's hard to imagine it's been 60 years and we have yet to find any sign of belle's creator nor any answers to where he could be... maybe once we get this hedgehog we can trade him to this G,U,N agency to provide any assistance or information about the whereabouts of her creator" (as sarge said to his thoughts with a bit of sorrow of belle's situation)

[narrator POV]

[We cut to a shot of Sonic panting in the middle of a street, facing shadow the hedgehog who is standing on a giant robot and holding the chaos emerald.]

(At least this will be normal)

Sonic: Huh?!

Shadow: Hey.
Sonic: Wh- what's that?

Shadow: Do you know where the nearest Hot Topic is?! Za Warudo!

(GOD {breaks a table} DAMN IT!)

Sonic: Hey, you put that down. That's an expensive diamond!

Shadow: Diamonds aren't green, dick-nips.

(...you know what fuck it let's roll with it)

Sonic: That's really rude, I'm gonna have to call the polices on you!

[Sonic starts walking towards Shadow, then Shadow points the Chaos Emerald at Sonic.]

Shadow: Za Warudo!

[Cut to a shot of green chaotic energy pulsating in mid-air.]

Sonic: I'll make you eat those words!

[everything went slow-motion as Sonic and Shadow running past each-other at nearly the same speed.]

Sonic: Wha--?
Shadow: See ya, nerd.
Sonic: Huh?!

[Everything goes back to normal speed and Sonic stops running.]

Sonic: He's faster than Sonic! He's faster than Sonic! What?

[sonic was shocked and confused by whatever he saw until his eyes looked at the emerald in shadows hand]

Sonic: It's almost like that.. emerald has some sort of power!

[Shadow on top of a nearby apartment rooftop while playing with the Chaos Emerald in his hand.]

Shadow: This emerald has all sorts of power. Za Warudo!

[Shadow points the Chaos Emerald towards Sonic again, creating a blinding glow, as The World's time-stopping sound effect from JJBA plays. Sonic covers his eyes.]

Sonic: Stop saying that. (After a while of covering his eyes he opens them to see shadow was gone) dang well I hope the polices can find this weird hot-topic looking fella

[as sonic was about to run off to mind his own business, he was suddenly tackled by three people and stuck underneath a dog pile)

Sonic: THE HELL!?

Y/n: WE GOT EM!
Sarge: FREEZE DIRTBAG!
Belle: terribly sorry but we can't let you hurt anyone else

[as sonic tries to get out from under them the police/G.U.N arrive as they arrested sonic]

Y/n: WOOHOO oh yeah we did it, here's to team rebel we stop a vi-(Suddenly he, sarge and belle were also handcuffed)-wait wha?

Sarge: WHAT IN SAMHILL!? (Try's to break his cuffs only to get tasered causing him a short circuit)

Belle: oh dear

[Meanwhile "11:08 Desert area" in Japanese. We see an echidna and a bat are seen near the Master Emerald arguing.]

Rouge : We meet at at last!

Knuckles: We met last week, what are you talking about? You've been hittin' the reefers.

[A large metal claw picks up the Master Emerald, revealed to be a fat egg shaped man known only as Dr eggman]

Eggman: HEY SHUT UP

(Okay? how did he break the forth wall)

Knuckles: AGH! (Knuckles looks with shocked eyes to see eggman stealing the master emerald)

Eggman: That's right, Sonic! I'm taki- [he sees that it's knuckles and rouge with no sign of sonic at all] oh-- oh, I mean-- Oh wait, Sonic isnt here. Knuckles, I'm taking your Emeralds!

Knuckles: That's fine, I didn't really want it anyway. [knuckles said while shrugging under the influence of weed]

Rouge: Hey, those are mine, bring 'em back! [rouge shouted at eggman who was flying away from them both with the large emerald in his possession]

Eggman: No, fuck you. I'm takin' it away, you...thot ass. Bitch, I could--
Knuckles: Ugh, now I'm mad! Ahhhhhh! I can't- (knuckles with a mighty punch shattered the master emerald into shards)

Eggman: OH! MY EMERALDS! OHH!! AGHH! [said the Fat man with much pain]

Rouge: That's what you get for being a dumb- dumb piece of shit!

Knuckles: Sorry, I wasn't trying to touch you! Nerd!

Rouge: Yeah, you were!

Knuckles: Get out of my face-
Rouge: Pervert!

Knuckles: I just punched an emerald! Hurt really bad.

Eggman: I'm gonna kill these sons of bitches, RAH.

Rouge: I can't believe you did this. This is all your fault.

Knuckles: I can't believe your tits are one polygon!

(MEANWHILE ELSE WHERE)

[Tails flying his Tornado Cyclone over Prison Island.]

Tails: I'm flying this plane all by myself, I'm literally five years old. I'm not in any way qualified to do this. [tails then notices amy on a battleship with eggman close behind]

Eggman: [snickers evilly as he approaches her in his Eggwalker]

Amy: Where's my mom?

Tails: Hey, what are you doing down there? She's looks like she's all by herself. Maybe I should go pick her up in my super cool airplane. [Tails's plane then descend to the ship]

[The tornado then changes into battle mode as Tails' first boss battle with Eggman is about to begin. Amy is nowhere to be seen.]

Eggman: What the actual shit. Where did Amy GO? SHE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!

Tails: Eggman, come over here!

Eggman: I'M GOING TO-- ARRRRGH, MY BONES!! Augh, I know I should've-- [coughs loudly]

[The cast breaks into laughter]

Eggman: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

Tails: Happy April Fools!

Eggman: OH, MY GOD! That's it, I'm calling the police! 911, I'm the detec-
Tails: I AM THE POLICE! [Defeats Eggman]

Eggman: OUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRGH!!

[after a weird but also intense battle tails was victorious in his battle as eggman looks at the fox]

Eggman: [sigh] I miss my wife, Tails. I miss her a lot. I'll be back.

("Muffled laughter" um okay)

Amy: Are you my mom? Oh wait, hi Tails! How are you?

Tails: Uh, hey Amy, I'm great. Do you want to come get in my supercool airplane?

Amy: No! Not at all. It looks really gross.

Blue: Aww! (reacting to Tails shrugging at Amy's answer)

Amy: Wait, on second thought, I don't wanna be here.

Tails: No, it's too late. You already made up your mind, I'm out of here!

[tails then waltz away with his tornado]

Amy: Wait come back! I changed my mind!

[Cut to Sonic in a jail cell.]

{Y/n's POV}

Sonic: Oh... I'm in jail again! I just-- Amy!?

Amy: Hey! I found you! All by myself with no help from any five year olds I kidnapped. What? Sorry. Anyway... Wow, check out my legs! You like that? I'll let you out if you take my "I'll fuck you" card. C'mon! This is my v-card! I saved it for you! [she then takes out a key-card that she claims as her v-card]

(I'm now questioning if I'm even in the right place)

Sonic: No! No, I told you once too many-- Ohh, I'm so mad at you! One too many times is enough!

Amy: One too many times is not enough!

Sonic: Hey! You stop it right now. You're trying to trick me with your vixen tricks? I won't take any card. I can get out by myself.

Amy: Alright, bye! Have good times in prison. [frees Sonic from his cell] Swipe.

Sonic: thanks Amy but I'm still not taking your V-card

Y/n: AHEM hey so since you're letting this guy outa how about you let us out! (Y/n shouted as the camera pans over to reveal y/n, sarge and belle in a different cell beside sonic's)

Amy: hmmmmm? No (she and sonic make their way out the room leaving the trio to themselves)

Sarge: ....y/n... remind to shoot her in the face if we ever cross paths with her again

Belle: as much as I am against violence I'll make it an exception for her

Y/n: welp you two got any ideas on how to get outta here?

{as the trio began to think of a way to get out they were interrupted as a ceiling vent falls on the floor hard)

???: (pops out the vent) hey you three up for some crazy shit and blow up the government?

Y/n, sarge, belle: ....okay/i guess/YES!!

[Cut to Green Forest, where Sonic and Shadow have met up once again and are staring each other down]

Shadow: That blue hedgehog again, of all places.

Sonic: (talking over Shadow) Hey, that's...
Sonic: I've... f-found you, faker!

Shadow: Faker? I think you're the fake hedgehog around here. You're going around being an asshole? I mean that fits me, but die.

Sonic: I'll make you eat those words!

Shadow: Perish.

[sonic and shadow stared at each other as the start of Sonic and Shadow's first battle was underway]

Shadow: Let me just spit it out!

Sonic: Thanks, I forgot who you was! Did we ever establish our names? Hi, I'm Sonic!

Shadow: No. Nice to meet you. I'm Shadow. Ow.

Sonic: Sorry for hitting you so much. It's just... it's part of the narrative. Wham!

(....is this my life now stuck with a bunch of idiots what's next someone's nudes get posted?)

Shadow: Ouch!

Sonic: Ow!

Shadow: I got you, you stupid blue fool.
Sonic: (over Shadow's speaking) Ow!

Sonic: It seems as if we're evenly matched in some kind of way!

Shadow: OW! We aren't. You just killed me.

Sonic: Just kidding! I'm better than you! I'm better than everyone! [he claims completely ignoring the fact his injuries]

Shadow: But... I'm the ultimate life form... [shadow exclaims while getting back up as he and Sonic were panting heavily from their battle]

Eggman: (over a walkie-talkie) It would seem that you bitches have come to a standstill in Tarzan's forest.
You have thirteen seconds before the island fucking explodes, you Hot Topic wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch, You have done nothing but destroy my life, I hope you both die.

Sonic: Hot Topic!? [shocked knowing shadows secret ignoring the fact the island is going to blow up]

Shadow: No! My secret! [he jumps away as he makes his escape leaving sonic to do the same]

[elsewhere]

???: I don't know how many bombs we need?

Belle: oh it's no more then a few ounces, maybe more?

Y/n: (groans) I hate the metric system! How many in American?

Belle: well with a few mathematicians and some equations and an hour of four and we-

Sarge: fuck math just use the whole damn lot [picks up all the explosives and throw them in the pipes leading to the main core of the building]

Belle: ...we should probably

???, y/n: RUUUNNN!!!

[team rebel and ??? Book it for the exit as the trio sneak their way onto egg-man's airship while ??? Snuck her way into Tails's plane undetected]

[cuts to the island as we see it blowing up in different places until the very island itself blew up causing a tidal wave leaving nothing remaining of forest island]

[cut to Knuckles looking up on Pumpkin Hill and talking to an Omochao with the cast dooting "A Ghost's Pumpkin Soup ...for Pumpkin Hill"]

Knuckles: And so I said, "What are you, smoking the reefer again?" Hahaha, classic. Ahh, I enjoy our talks. Whoop. Here I go. I can FLY!?

Eggman: (on a live broadcast on every TV screen in the city) Hehehe! Hey, everyone! Guess what? I know you wanna buy my stocks, but fuck you. I'm keeping your stocks. That's right you ugly little girl, I hate you!
Ugly Little Girl: Mommy...?
Eggman: And your STUPID NOSE! I'm taking everything from you, GIVE me your phone. I'm taking over Victoria's Secret, I'm taking over Best Buy, the news is MINE, and everyone else can leave! You see that PLANET!? I'M TAKING IT TOO!! It looks like a fucking WALNUT! [The nearby walnut planet explodes, revealing the Eclipse Cannon.] BLAM! And it busted a nut, then and there! [evil, maniacal laughter from Eggman as the Eclipse Cannon charges up] Now, DIE!

[The Eclipse Cannon fires. As the laser gets closer to its target]

Randi: Oh my God, it missed! [he said thinking he was safe... till he got shot by a person with a hat with the number 5 on it]

[The Eclipse Cannon hits the Moon, blowing half of it up.]

Eggman: Fuck you, Moon! You never had the cheese I wanted!

Civilian: Oh. Well that wasn't very nice.
I- I think that's gonna have some kind of effect on the tides or something.

Randi: (literally bleeding to death) p-please call a a-ambulance (dies) "I am dead not big surprise"

[A timer counting down from 24 hours is shown, indicating the time until another blast from the Eclipse Cannon will destroy the Earth.]

Eggman: I hope you're ready to die, it's gonna be like Evangelion, get the fuck out. [it then cuts to an advert]

???: today's announcement was brought to you by chaos tonic a drink that's brings the chaos to the next level!

???-2: you know you want it, the more you buy the better chance of getting the girl or guy of your dreams~

Sonic: Whoa...
Amy: That is like, Evangelion or some shit man, that is crazy. Anyway.

Sonic: I just- n'ohhh. I always didn't like the Moon, but--
Tails: No, I loved the Moon! I don't know why he felt like he needed to blow it up.

Sonic: Well, maybe it like said something weird about his mom or something. I don't know. I can't put my finger on it. Or my tail. Or my spikes.

Tails: Well, here! Take this... diamond as a consolation prize. For the fucking Moon just blowing up, I guess.

Sonic: Wait a minute, I have an epiphany!

Amy: Wait, what's-
Tails: Let's go!

Amy: What's an epiphany? Also can we grab a chaos tonic they actually sound good.

[as they left they failed to notice someone was spying on them]

???-3: oh this IS the easiest task I got (pulls out a walkie talkie) hey [???] i placed the tracker on the fox,

???: well done now return back and leave the rest to me

???-3: soo um... do I get a treat for this, is it a burger I could really go for one.

???-2: [groans] just get back up here

[Cut to Tails and Amy (who is drink a chaos tonic), now in a garage during daytime]

Amy: So I said... "Why the long face?" You get it? 'Cause uh-- 'cause-- anyway. So... [unintelligible]-- oh.

Tails: That's not- That's not very funny Amy honestly you probably should like pick- keep your day job or pick a new career, I don't think stand up comedy is really your thing.

Amy: Ohhh. You mean I should marry a very handsome and wealthy man who has stock in the diamond and ring business? [Knuckles appears from a manhole] THERE HE IS!

Knuckles: Hey, what's up good-looking? Also, hi Amy. I haven't seen you since nineteenth-aught-seven. [knuckles then notices Amy getting closer to him as he proceeds to shove her away) Don't touch me, harlot!

Amy: [her drink then spilled onto the floor] MY DRINK NOOO!! [She proceeds to lick it off the floor] (don't actually do that. That's disgusting)

Tails: Can you guys like, stop having relationship issues while I'm on the phone with my dentist? I'm out of here, bye. [hits Knuckles with the Tornado Cyclone, which he has turned into a car-like vehicle]
Knuckles: Agh!

[meanwhile the President in his limo.]

President's Secretary: Mr. President, you have a dentist appointment at 7:00.

[Humming is heard in the background to make a calm and fun-sounding song]

President: [exasperated sigh]..... Mmmm... That's my favorite song! Also, cancel that dentist appointment I don't need to get my teeth done.

[Eggman appears on the limo's TV screen.]

Eggman: I'm takin' over the universe! I'm takin' over yo' world! I'm takin' yo' TV! I'm GLITCHIN' it!

???: They call him the GLITCH!

Eggman: Do you know why they call me the MOTHERFUCKING GLITCH!? Because I GLITCH ya TVs out! I'm taking the world by STORM. I'm gonna drop my newest album, CRACKIN' EGGS.

President: Crackin' Eggs? Mm, ahh.

[Sonic is seen running next to the President's limo.]

Sonic: Hi, Mr. President. We need your help!

President: [gasp]

Sonic: Some masked villain named the Glitch is taking over the system!

President: (talking over Sonic) Sonic, my long-lost lover! It's fi-- oh--
Sonic: Wha-- Hey. I told you not to bring that up anymore. I'm putting that behind me, Mr. President. Now stop it and let's focus on business, Tails what you got?

Tails: Sonic I found this, like, used copy of Sims 4!

Sonic: What?! That's the least best Sims game! But I'll take it anyway, come on let's go!

Tails: Wait for meeeee!

President: Wait, wait! Come back! Honeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy (turns vomit-like in the end)

Presidents secretary: well that was weird dont know how it could get any more weird

[as if karma rang a shadowy figure jumps in through the roof]

President: (to the secretary) this is your fault you said the thing and now karma is here (coughs) oh god (to the stranger) so uh what do I owe the pleasure of me- [he was suddenly interrupted when stranger had a spear near his neck] -eting.. you.. (gulp)

???: I'll ask you this only once ya hear, where is the flying saucer at!

President: o-oh god um w-well if I do then I'd be put for re-election [notices the spear getting closer to his throat] HAHA which I-I be happy to tell hahaha! P-please don't tell on me

[Narrator POV, time: 13:04]

[Cuts to the outside of Hidden Base. Which is located at the desert]

Knuckles: How the fuck did we get to Egypt!?

Sonic: It's a big triangle or something, I don't know. What's on the top there?

Knuckles: I don't know, but I'm gonna punch it. That's... what I do.
(to Amy) Anyway, what are you gonna do, pink?

Sonic: Hey, don't be so mean to Amy, okay? She's literally just standing there. You just are very aggressive, and you lash out when you get upset and you're confused. I promise -Knuckles: (over Sonic) No!- everything will be explained.

Tails: Alright, I've got my jet! Let's go!

[our hero's began their march to the pyramid until sonic decided to break the silence]

Sonic: We don't have a jet.

[however unbeknownst to our hero's.. and Amy the strange figure that was spying on them before he rose from the sand]

???: hmhmhahahaAHAHAHAA-(coughs aggressively) AGH AH OH GOD THERES SAND IN MY EYES! AAAAH-

(inside Pyramid Cave)

Sonic: I'm gonna go in there first and you guys back me up okay? Okay?

Tails: Nope. I'm going.

Sonic: Do you guys hear me? Do you- hey!

[A wheeze is heard in the background]

Tails: I'm just trying to get a feel for this door. I think it's made-
Sonic: It's made of wood, Tails, there's nothing else to get a feel of. It's wood and paint.

Knuckles: Uh actually it's a really low-res JPEG.

Sonic: What? A J- What's a JPEG? Stop speaking witch. [suddenly eggman came out of nowhere in his battle mech with sarge by his side]

Eggman: Heyy, bitcheeeees~. Didn't expect to see me.

Sarge: you scumbags ready to die (aims gun at Amy's direction) causes it's a good day to die

Sonic: Hey, what's going on Eggman? Some weird guy named the Glitch is-
Eggman: Sonic, I've had enough. You took my wife. You fucked my crops. I'm taking ya life! (Long pause) And the Chaos Emeralds!

Knuckles: NO!! NOT THE WEED!!

Tails: wait how'd you know we be here!?

Amy: (gasp) are you a magical fortune teller twinkle twinkle

Eggman: (to Amy) BITCH get ya crazy ass mind out of those weird ass books ya read! (To them all) as to answer ya dumbass question I actually had a spy sent on yo bitch asses this whole time!!

Sonic, tails: WHA!?/No way!?

Sarge: ya got sarged dumbasses... nope doesn't sound good... OH I got it (ahem) your life warranty just expired... nope, AAAGH fuck it I'll just start beating you with my fists (hoists his mini-gun to his back) so who's first?

Sonic: Man this guy sure is a real knucklehead to track us unlike knuckles he's a real knucklehead

Knuckles: yeah- wait wha?

[before knuckles could retort to what sonic had said they were knocked to the wall by the said spy]

???: YO YO YO what up my homies hope I didn't miss anything, (to eggman) please tell I didn't miss the fight club?

Eggman: nope ya got here just in time (to sonic) now I hope your ready for some WWE action you blue gumball bastard cause todays round is sponsored by you taking the L

Sonic: aaw talk about a low budget fli-(gets a face full of knuckle sandwiches)-AAAAGH!!

Sarge: FOCUS ON THE FIGHT BLUE-BALL, THESE FISTS ARE DELIVERED FOR ALL YOUR FACES!! [sarge cracks his metallic knuckles]

Grim sonic: hope your ready for a fast beat down FROM GRIM SONIC!

https://www.reddit.com/r/SonicTheHedgehog/comments/1hvnhju/sonic_prime_chaos_sonic_concept_art/?tl=fil

(Yes I know it's the trooper but it looks cool)

Sonic: I'll make you eat those words!

[the battle was intense sonic against a giant stone statue, a heavy hitting machine and a weird copycat. it was so intense we didn't have the budget so instead we're skipping it, you can complain all you like but it's too much money]

(MEANWHILE on the ark an hour after the fight)

Y/n: (y/n, and belle were walking around minding their own business till they saw sarge who is covered in dents and scratches walking towards as he brought y/n and belle into a room only for the trio to see our hero's filled with confidence, through a TV screen running towards a shape ship that was inside the big triangle) WHAT?! WHAT?! WH-- WHY IS NASA THERE!? I'M SO CONFUSED! WHAT THE HELL!?

Tv-Sonic: I gotta get on that plane!

Tv-Knuckles: Oh, no! It's an ancient Egyptian space shuttle!

Tv-sonic: Hey, this is like, this is like, what George Lucas was talking about with like, rhymes in cinema? Like how the beginning of the one? I'm in a plane, and now I'm in a rocket? Yeah?

Y/n: (turns to his team) Can I just real quick say that I've never been this confused before, and everything that's happening is new to me and my mind can't... connect right now.

Belle: No, it's fine. Don't worry.

Sarge: I'm in the same boat, I have no fucking clue what's happening. But the fight I had was glorious!

Y/n: heh guess you can say you as tuff as steel? (he say's trying to make a joke only to receive a punch as the response) AGH! WHY!?

[Cut to space, the shuttle underneath the Eclipse Cannon, as it crashes into an asteroid.]

Sonic: Did someone drop the emeralds again?

Knuckles: It wasn't me, I swear!

Tails: Hey Sonic, I have a question. Since I'm literally five, can you please explain to me how you fucked crops?

[Cut to the inside of the Space Colony, ARK, with 2 hours and 11 minutes left until the Eclipse Cannon fires again.]

Sonic: I did not-- I didn't wanna have to explain that to you Tails, I didn't wanna! You forced my hand.

Tails: PLEASE...!

Sonic: Now you're scarred for life, and I'm gonna have to take you to therapy, and it's just-
Tails: Yeah I think I need to melt now.

Amy: After you explained how to fuck plants, I think I'm a veggie.

Tails: I didn't expect that to be exactly how you explained it, but then, after you explained it, made so much sense that that's exactly how that would work. But now, I'm wondering why the fuck would you do that?

Amy: Well, it's a personal choice and I thank you not to judge me for it.

Sonic: Amy, shut up right now. Shut your mouth, right now. We are not opening up that can of worms. Okay. Tails, you go find Dr.... Glitch.

Tails: Okay, I think I found him. He looks like he's uhhh... somewhere inside-- some-- there's a flashing pink thing. I don't really know.

Amy: We need to find our way down the thermal coils to the nuclear reactor. Once we implant the emerald into the reactor, it will overload the system!

[the gang were confused and shocked that Amy said something smart for once as she looked at them with a smile with no clue of she actually said, but cause of this they were completely unaware of a little stowaway that got off the space shuttle and made her way somewhere else on the ARK]

Tails: I-- Okay, but I really just want to hold on to this very shiny object, it's really pretty.

Amy: Oooooh, shiny~!

Tails: I was thinking I was gonna give it to my mom for her birthday. But, I guess if we have to put it inside a nuclear reactor, that's what we have to do! So here, Sonic, you take it and run real fast.

Sonic: At least we found some use for this piss rock. [takes the piss rock as he held it in his hands] I'm out of here. See you later! Man it's so handy that you can read, Tails.

[Cut to Sonic inside the Eclipse Cannon's power console holding the "piss rock" that will neutralize it. 45 minutes remain until it fires on the Earth.]

Sonic: So wait, I had to put the what in the what now?

Tails: (over walkie-talkie) You have to put it in the nuclear reactor! Put the piss rock in the nuclear reactor!

Sonic: Huh? What!? What did you just say to me? Put the what in the what?!

[Cut to Meteor Herd, going backwards in time to 1 hour and 26 minutes before the Eclipse Cannon fires. Knuckles and Rouge are seen confronting each other.]

Knuckles: Ah, I see we meet again. For the first last time.

Rouge: But this time we're in space. I don't know how the fuck I got here to be honest with you.

Knuckles: I don't know how the fuck I'm breathing to be honest. AGH!

Rouge: So, do you want to like, go get coffee later? Maybe? Me and my one polygon boobs?

Knuckles: They're my favorite polygon!
[Big the Cat appears, watching Rouge take a suicide fall into the lava below.]

Rouge: [Anguished screaming]
Knuckles: Noooo! [with quick action he saved Rouge by grabbing her hand in the nick of time as he proceeds to pull her up] I did it!

Rouge: Knuckles. [Lets go of Knuckles' hand] Thats-- I-- Knuckles, I'm so sorry...

Knuckles: I'm sorry, did you not consent to me saving your life?!

Rouge: No, I did. I just-

Big: [appears and makes a distracting noise] (the fuck he doing?)

Knuckles: I'll push you back down!

Rouge: (over Knuckles' sarcastic apology) No, listen!

Knuckles: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that.

Rouge: You're not listening to me! I wanted to say, I'm sorry for the way that I've acted and--
[Camera zooms in on Big making a rather suspicious up-and-down motion with a clenched fist...] (WHAT THE FUCK!?)

Knuckles: Whoa! Big, what are you doing back there, dude?!

Big: Uh, nothing! Uh, don't even look at me, I-- [big with quick action after getting caught in the "ACT" he runs away]

Rouge: Who are you talking to? Never mind, it doesn't matter, I'm super high right now.

[Shards of the Master Emerald drop in front of Knuckles.]

Knuckles: Weed...

Rouge: Yeah. Weed. Just for you.

[just then a sudden thud as something dropped from above them]

Sarge: (drops down behind rouge) there you are traitor!!

???-2: (lands behind knuckles) my my a nice thing you got there~

Rouge: um hehehe c-care for some weed?

Knuckles: IM NOT SHARING!

[Cut to Sonic in the Space Colony ARK, entering a door and confronting Eggman, who has Amy at gunpoint. 33 minutes remain until the Eclipse Cannon fires on Earth.]

Sonic: That's right, everybody. It's your favorite boi.

Eggman: (Alfred is holding back laughter at seeing Amy being held at gunpoint by Eggman) Get the fuck out, or I'm gonna shoot Amy in the fucking face!

Sonic: No!

Eggman: I swear to GOD, I'll DO IT, you BITCH!! GET OUT!! I will pop her.

Amy: Don't give him my life for a piss rock!

Grim sonic: (standing next to Amy) no please do this bitch has been nothing but Annoying the whole time, she messed up my flow so do it!

???: [waltz from behind grim sonic to reveal another individual] unless blue guy has something to trade~

???-2: [trips over when he tried to reveal himself] I hope it's a bandage

Sonic: (sonic proceeds to pull the piss-rock out from his pocket dimension) Will you pop this piss rock?

Eggman: [gasp] Put the piss stone down right now, you know what piss rocks does to your ᵇˡᵉⁿᶦˢ.

Sonic: I like what it does to my ᵇˡᵉⁿᶦˢ, Eggman! And you know what? That's what's gonna give me the strength to get through this and get- [Eggman realizes Sonic's piss rock is a fake one, and encapsulates the latter in a pod.] WHOA!!!
[the pod makes a "SHEEEEEN!" noise as Eggman imprisons Sonic]

Amy: (off-screen) Sonic!!

[a hidden door opens to reveal the trio behind a control panel]

Y/n, sarge, belle: OH YEAH!!/you thought bitch!/hooray

Eggman: (in a deeper voice) You thought you were gonna escape, and I knew you were gonna fart in here, so I had to put up a fucking seal.

Grim sonic: don't worry you got a free ticket to the destination of no stinky hedgehogs, too bad it's a one way trip

[Sonic is sent hurtling towards the Earth.]

Sonic: WOAHHHH!!!
Amy: Noooo!
Tails: Sonic!
Y/n: BYE ASSHOLE!
Sarge: mission accomplished
Belle: sorry but not sorry.. but very sorry
Grim sonic: bye slowpoke no-one wants to be ya
???-3: aaaw I really wanted to try the piss-rock

[cuts to inside the pod]

Sonic: Talk about a low-budget flight. [sonic then looks at the piss rock in his hand as he began to pray for his survival] Piss rock, I pray unto you this day that you would protect me from my sins, and my transgressions.

[cuts back to the ark]

Eggman: Now! I will control the universe, and EVERYONE will be able to watch (in a deep voice) ˢᵖˡᵃᵗᵒᵒⁿ ² ˡᵉᵗ'ˢ ᵖˡᵃʸˢ (normal voice) by Eggman!

Y/n: hey I heard it's a fan favourite
Sarge: I play it for the guns
Belle: I just play it for the fun activities
???-2: I only just play for the trends it has
???-3: I play it cause um... because!
Grim sonic: I just play for the songs

Eggman: (to the two team's) yeah yeah whatever (to tails and Amy) Now GET in the FUCKING ROOM.

Tails: Shoot me you fucking coward, DO IT. You won't! I have no reason to live anymore now that Sonic is gone, and my piss rock.

[Tails starts his last battle with Eggman. Determined to defeat him once and for all]

Eggman: I'm going to make sure that you watch my Vine compilations and I'm gonna make you perish, you little rodent!

Tails: I will never watch your Vine compilations 'cuz they suck. You pick all the bad Vines!

Amy: we're just gonna hang out in the corner here and watch. J-Just don't shoot me!

Belle: I'd rather much you don't shoot me and shoot amy instead

Amy: Yeah..... wait what?

Grim sonic: (he began praying) please god... let the bitch die

???-3: (praying as-well) I wish for a cheese-burger

???-2: ugh boys (secretly praying for Amy's death)

[tails then hits eggman a mech which causes him to drop something]

Eggman: My Funyun® rings! I'm taking them back!

Tails: Gimme those Funyuns!
Eggman: Give them back to me!
Tails: OMNOMNOMNOMNOM
Eggman: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! [gets hit again] NO!

Tails: They're my Funyuns now, Eggman!

Eggman: Tails, listen to me. I know who your mother is- [coughing in defeat once tails delivers the final blow which caused his mech to shutdown as it falls over knocking the Doctor out his mech]

Tails: Don't you fucking lie to me!!

[Cut to Knuckles standing alone at Final Rush.]

Knuckles: Am I in Halo?

Voice: Oooooh...

[Sonic is teleported next to Knuckles.]

Jesus: Knuckles... here's your bitch back. (echoing)

Knuckles: ...Thanks, Jesus!

Sonic: One bitch, fresh off the presses! Wassup, Knuckles? Piss rock saved me. And now I'm all dizzy.

Knuckles: I'm- I'm too high for this shit. I can't. I can't.

Sonic: Oh, God, please.

Knuckles: (holding Sonic on his shoulders from being "high") Are you... limber?

Sonic: No, I'm like a high equivalent. Anyway,
Knuckles: What?

Sonic: So uh, what's going on with Eggman? What'd he do, did he make everybody watch the Splatoon Let's Plays or somethin'?

Knuckles: Everybody at home, are you getting this right now?

Sonic: Hey, this looks really d- delicious. I feel like I could eat this. [Sonic runs off with the piss rock.]

Knuckles: Sonic! No! You're joking--

Sonic: ...not gonna do that!

Knuckles: Whatever.

[just then a vent door slams on knuckles head as ??? Pops out from it]

???: AY have any of you twos seen a bunny looking fella?

Sonic: well the only one that fits that description is some weird robot that kinda reminds me some annoying person that-[gets interrupted by ??? Running past him and knuckles]

[Cut to Sonic alone on Final Rush. 5 minutes and 44 seconds are left until Eggman fires the Eclipse Cannon on Earth.]

loudspeaker: W-W-W-W-W-W-Welcome to the Fun Land!

[Shadow appear next to Sonic.]

Sonic: (noticing Shadow) Oh.

Shadow: Welcome to Fun Land, Sonic. Two tickets to ride on the Fuck You Train.

[y/n and grim sonic appear on the left side of sonic)

Y/n: don't worry the first two tickets are absolutely free for blue bitch's

Grim sonic: too bad for you tho but lucky for us

Sonic: Oh sweet! Is there a cartw- wait. Ferris wheel is what I meant. I almost said cartwheel. This piss rock does crazy things to ya. You see-- ever see one like this before?

Y/n: why you gotta be so stupid ya dumbass

Shadow: Oh, you know I have, Sonic. You know I've seen my fair share of piss rocks. Now let's start running.
Sonic: (talking over Shadow) You said that really sensually!

Shadow: Yes. I'm a very sensual being, a hopeless romantic if you will.

Sonic: What ya see is what ya get, just a guy who loves piss rocks! ...And adventure, I'm gonna run now.

Shadow: What the fuck?

Grim sonic: HEY GET YO SCRAWNY LEGS BACK HERE!!

[Cut to the start of Sonic, y/n, grim sonic and Shadow's final decisive battle]

Sonic: I'm gonna get faster than youuu!
Shadow: No, I'm faster than you actually. I did the math, I'm pretty fast.

Sonic: (talking over Shadow) No, I'm faster than you! It's part of my name! Sonic-
Shadow: (talking over Sonic) See look, I'm faster- (y/n try's to home attack sonic but hits shadow thanks to sonic dodging it) Ow.

Sonic: Sonic Fast-Man Hedgehog.

Shadow: (over Shadow) Ok, first of all, rude. This is still just like Dragon Ball Z.

Sonic: (repeatedly using his Homing Attack on Shadow and grim sonic) Bam bam bam bam bam bam, you know how it goes, you know how it goes.

Grim sonic: AGH stop messing up my metal your causing dents to it!

Shadow: Yes, this is... (indiscernable)

Sonic: Uh, just like Dragon Ball Z, did you ever watch that one episode of Dragon Ball Super where...

[Time skip, Sonic having changed topics]

Sonic: And then I said, "Hey! Give me back my lettuce!"

Shadow: What kind of list was it? Is it the Naughty-Nice List, you Santa mofo?

Y/n: it sounds stupid!

Sonic: No, I said lettuce.

[Sonic defeats Shadow]
Shadow: Ahhh!!

Sonic: Were you even listening at all?

Y/n, grim sonic: WERE YOU! [Y/n tried to attack sonic from behind with grim sonic trying to attack from the front, only for y/n to get round kicked in the head knocking him at grim sonic head first as they both crash to the railing]

Y/n: uuugh my head

Grim sonic: guess h-he was ugh

[both were knocked out with sonic running off leaving y/n, shadow and grim sonic in the dust]

[Cut to 1 minute and 30 seconds until the Eclipse Cannon's proposed fire time, but the Cannon is shown being destroyed, with the piss rock being inserted into the console of the cannon by Sonic.]

[cuts to the outside of the Ark as the Eclipse Cannon implodes.]

Eggship: Ohhhh, noooooooooo! [gasping and coughing] No, the Glitch! The Glitch!. I didn't take my Claritin XD!

Sonic: (holding onto a wire) Shoulda taken Dayquil! (Giving a thumbs-up to the camera)

[MEANWHILE inside the ark]

Grim sonic: MY SPONSORSHIPS NOOOOO all my chaos tonic adverts are going to get cancelled!! Oh how could this get worse!

???-3: um is it a bad time to say someone's nudes were posted on Twitter

Grim sonic: ....what..

(I don't claim owner ship to the art nor the sonic character's they belong to sega and the art belongs to their respective artists which the links are in the bio)