Summary: When Sonic returns to his sleeping quarters in the resistance's base, an unexpected guest is waiting for him. This guest refuses to leave until Sonic starts explaining his recent behavior.

Post-Sonic Forces with some flavorings of a rewrite
Trigger Warnings: Implied torture, Sonic's reckless behavior is implied to be a self-harming thing

Ships: Sonadow (Shadow x Sonic)

Part 1 of 1 (possibly 2)

—

His paws are shaking. His entire body is, really, but he focuses on his paws as he pulls on the edges of his gloves near his wrist. He wiggles his fingers as he performs this action as if that will distract him from how he's trembling. He rolls his shoulders. He swings his neck in a loose circle, feeling the muscles constrict and expand. He settles into a steady pace as he walks down the dim hallway. A metallic noise comes from each of his footfalls, echoing across the metal walls surrounding him. His breath is unsteady and sporadic, but he manages to keep it from being too loud. The heartbeat pounding in his chest is louder in his ears than his footsteps are. He pushes a thumb into the palm of his paw. It was meant to message the muscle, but he presses in so deeply that pain begins to stem from that area. This rest of his body hurts, too, which might partially account for why he's shaking. The other reason being how absolutely wired he is right now.

Despite his restlessness, he continues toward his sleeping quarters. He does not want to go there— made evident by the barely concealed scowl on his face— but he doesn't have anywhere else to go. He could run around the islands for another few hours, but he gets the nagging feeling that he will encounter other people if he does that. As much as he wants to work off the excess energy inside his body, he doesn't want to socialize with others. They will see the bruises and the shaking. They will ask questions that have no answer he would willingly part with. To escape one troublesome situation, he has to put himself in another. The unfairness of life, he supposes, letting it all wash away like water sliding off his back (except, his quills retain water extraordinarily well. Probably why he sinks like a rock).

Sonic's sleeping quarters at the very end of the hallway where the lights are so dim, they might as well be turned off. The energy doesn't make it this far down the hallway. These are the single rooms barely large enough for one person. Sonic places his paw on the metal door handle. He doesn't push it down. He stares at the door with a scrutinizing look. There was an original plan for accommodations. Tails had been staying with Shadow because everyone thought the kit was going to run off again. Sonic was told by all the parties involved that they could put Shadow in the single room while Sonic bunked with his younger brother. Sonic was adamant that he would take the single room. He knows everyone wonders why, but no one has asked him yet. They either don't care enough or they have more important things to worry about (or he's been actively avoiding them).

The reason for their concern is obvious. Sonic, traditionally, doesn't like being alone. He likes working with people. He likes staying with them. The love he has for his friends is written into his being, influencing even his habits and inclinations. But he decided to stay at the end of the resistance's base all by himself. The energy barely reaches this part of the base. It is usually cold and dark. Other rooms are opening up as the resistance both spreads out and starts helping the many cities across Mobius get back on their feet. Sonic, however, keeps coming back here, and even the trepidation in his gut right now doesn't get him to turn away.

Sonic pushes down on the door handle. He shoves his shoulder against the door to force it open. It swings wider than he anticipated, but he doesn't pay the door any mind as it clangs against the side wall. He reaches his paw into the darkness to find the metal string hanging from the roof. It takes Sonic several tries of waving his paw in the air to find the string. He pulls down immediately, flooding the room in pale gray-yellow light. It falls morosely across the chipped red paint on the walls and the scuffed metal floor.

It also falls across a figure sitting on the edge of Sonic's cot. The hedgehog flinches back, raising his fists and widening his stance. Energy stretches across his form immediately. The entire room reflects the blue light, not a trace of gray or yellow anywhere. The adrenaline that has been sitting uselessly in Sonic's body rushes through with a newfound passion. Sonic feels a spike of chaos energy in his body from both the surprise and his sudden viciousness.

Everything fades away when Sonic's emerald irises identify the figure sitting on his side. Sonic's shoes clack together as he rises to his feet. He drops his arms to his side. He raises an eyebrow at his rival and the self-proclaimed Ultimate Lifeform. Shadow the Hedgehog affixes an unimpressed stare on Sonic. "You're late."

"Late? What are you talking about?" Sonic snorts. He shakes his head. Sonic turns around to close the metal door behind him. It makes a heavy noise as the mechanisms click into place. Sonic keeps his eyes off Shadow as he slides the screen door on the other side of him open. He steps up onto the raised platform the half-bath uses. He keeps the door slid open as he turns the faucet on. It takes several seconds for a slow trickle of water to come out. Although he's usually more careful about Mobian traditions, Sonic doesn't hesitate to remove his gloves. He drops them on the side of the sink. He cups his paws under the faucet. He splashes his face. The water is freezing cold, and it gives him another reason to hate the liquid that covers so much of the Earth. Sonic leaves the water on his paws and face as he turns to look at the silent Shadow.

As if he was waiting for Sonic's attention, Shadow finishes his thought. "You're late. Do not make me repeat myself, faker."

"I'm not asking you to repeat yourself. I asked you for clarification. I'm not late for anything. I mean, I guess it's late right now. Speaking of, I feel like I should inform you that sitting in the dark in someone else's room is creepy at all hours of the day but especially when we're a few minutes away from midnight." Sonic leans against the side of the threshold. He crosses his arms over his chest and sets one foot behind the opposite heel. He meets Shadow's eyes, searching for more answers on the ebony hedgehog's countenance. Unfortunately, Shadow is a steel trap with his emotions and intentions. Sonic is getting nothing.

"It is past midnight," Shadow corrects, unable to help himself.

Sonic huffs a laugh under his breath. "You aren't helping your case, buddy. This is very creepy."

"It wouldn't have to be if you weren't out for so long." Shadow's eyes narrow very slightly. He is suddenly scrutinizing Sonic for answers. The blue hedgehog gives him a half-smile and nothing else. It is fair game if he's the one trying to get into Shadow's head, but it doesn't work the other way around. Maybe Sonic would have thrown him a bone if Shadow revealed something. Alas, they are both looking for answers in all the wrong places, unable (or more likely, unwilling) to search in the right ones.

"Have you been waiting for me this whole time, Shads? Geez, didn't anyone tell you that I was out on a mission? I was fighting some machines on the southern side of the island," Sonic shakes his head. He starts tapping the foot behind his heel. Shadow's sudden and unexpected appearance stirred up the energy that Sonic was just starting to make settle down. The chaos energy inside his body is in a frenzy. It feels like a lot of dangerous predators ready to mercilessly devour their meal, and Sonic, unfortunately, has nothing left to feed them other than himself.

"You left at dawn. You should have returned by late morning. You are back after midnight." Shadow naturally sounds like a confident person. Even when he is asking questions or full of doubt, his tone of voice never gives it away. For everyone else, at least, but Sonic can hear the minute differences as easily as he can pick out a lot of the other differences between the two of them that other people seem to miss entirely. Shadow is doubting the situation without doubting Sonic specifically. Sonic is almost touched. Shadow tilts his head to the side. "Have you gotten slower, faker?"

"Shh. If you say that any louder, the nurses from the medbay will break into the room to drag me back," Sonic whispers. He makes a show of winking and putting a finger over his lips to silence Shadow. Sonic laughs quietly when he slips his paw back in the crook of his elbow. The laugh also sounds hollow, mirroring the emotions forming right beneath the surface. Sonic does not want to return to the medbay. They tried to keep him there for a few weeks after he was rescued from the Death Egg. He gave them a few days, and then he left himself. No one has made an active attempt to force him to return, but he feels the stares of the doctors every time he makes the trek from his room to the resistance's main chamber to collect his mission for the day. He doesn't get what he has to do to convince them that he's fine. He's been doing all these missions successfully, hasn't he?

"You should return," Shadow says, immediately correcting Sonic's thought about no one making an active effort to send him back. "But I am certain you did finish your original mission by late morning. You spent the rest of the morning, afternoon, evening, and night doing other missions that were not assigned to you."

"Oh, wow, Shadow, I am so sorry that I did more work. You know, I should really be more thoughtful before I complete the missions that I was going to get assigned anyway," Sonic sarcastically replies. He puts a paw over his heart as if he were legitimately listening to Shadow's words for what it is meant to be. When his dramatics goes on for long enough, he drops his arm back down and rolls his eyes.

"You have no guarantee those missions were going to be assigned to you. Another team could have been assigned to them. Your recklessness would have confused them when they went out looking for robots that were not there. It could have caused a panic," Shadow lectures Sonic. Anger rises in Sonic's chest. He forces it down. He isn't actually angry with Shadow. He is only looking for a reason to propose a fight because he can't stand the itchiness of chaos energy running amok inside of him. He doesn't know how he usually dealt with this. He usually has trouble standing still, but this is to a whole other level.

(Sonic notices how Shadow stresses the word 'team,' but he elects not to comment on it. He keeps deciding to go on clean-up missions by himself when everyone else is working in pairs or teams.)

"They would have seen the destroyed robots littered around the space," Sonic points out. Shadow does not look pleased with that answer. Sonic takes a deep breath to steady himself and keep his quills from flaring out. He is not in danger right now. "Look, I didn't plan on doing it. I finished with my mission. As I was running back, I saw another robotic patrol. I just took care of it. You know how it is, don't you? The adrenaline just fills your body. Everything looks like a target, then you see an actual target. I didn't think it would cause any problems, but you're right. I should have been more careful. Is that what you wanted to talk about? If it is, you can head back and tell whoever sent you that I'll do better next time."

Shadow's nostrils flare. Sonic raises an eyebrow. He turns his head to the side, keeping his eyes on Shadow. He's struck a nerve somehow. Sonic knows that he's constantly annoying Shadow, but this is something specific and far less common. He's genuinely upset Shadow. He's gotten under Shadow's skin in a way that he's usually not allowed to. In moments like these, Sonic has the urge to sink his teeth and claws in. Something animalistic wants to draw blood. The more humane part of him, either, declares that they do not want to inflict lasting damages. It would destroy him to ruin his relationship with Shadow, especially after all the hard work it took to get them to even this point.

"I was not originally here to talk about this. I only thought it was pertinent to get an explanation for why you made me wait so long. I have not found a satisfying answer yet, but I would rather finish the business I came for so I can return to my mission," Shadow continues after he's taken a moment to compose himself. Sonic gave it to him, too, hoping he didn't upset Shadow even further.

"Alright, what did you come here to talk about?" Sonic asks. He pushes off the threshold. He steps onto the ground floor. He squats down to sit on the raised platform. He puts his elbows on his knees. He raises an eyebrow at Shadow. Sonic feels a little silly for sitting down here while Shadow is on the cot since this is his room, but there isn't enough space in this room for another chair when the cot nearly fills the entire space. Sonic could lean forward and put his forehead against the cot. He wouldn't need to scoot forward at all. It means he's pretty close to Shadow, though, and Sonic wonders if this is making Shadow uncomfortable. It doesn't look like it, but again, Shadow's face isn't a good indication of anything.

"You have been ignoring the kit." Shadow does not preface his accusation at all. He leaves it to hang in the stagnant, cold air between them. Sonic flinches. He looks away. He exhales slowly. He leans his chest against his thighs, tightening his grip on his knees. Sonic somehow always manages to forget that when Shadow wants to pack a punch, he does not hold back in the slightest. He hits hard and fast, leaving Sonic breathless every time. Sonic would rather get actually punched than deal with this (that probably wouldn't be advised considering his body is covered in bruises and scratches right now. It doesn't seem like Shadow has noticed yet, though, which is good for Sonic because he doesn't want another lecture tonight).

"I'm not ignoring Tails, alright? I'm just busy. We're both busy," Sonic explains, waving his paws in front of him as if the motion will lend credence to his claims. Frankly, Sonic doesn't need to add anything. Both he and Tails have been extremely busy lately. Sonic has exclusively been going on missions to fight the remaining robots left without a coordinator since Eggman's disappearance and Infinite's defeat. Tails has reprogrammed a few of the robots to help with this, but he's also been improving the weapons of the resistance. He's been working on reestablishing communication throughout the island nation of Mobius. They are both doing their best for their home, and that doesn't leave much time for some brotherly bonding.

"You are not meant to be busy. You are supposed to be taking breaks like everyone else. The kit is also taking breaks. It would not be difficult to coordinate your breaks to overlap so that you might see each other." If Sonic is itching for a physical fight, it seems Shadow wants a verbal one. Sonic doesn't know if this is out of character for them since they're both argumentative and hot-tempered.

"I am taking plenty of breaks. It isn't my fault I don't take them at the same time Tails' does, or that I'm usually nowhere near where Tails is," Sonic admits. He leans back, crossing his arms over his chest.

"How do you know where Tails is or when he's taking his breaks?" Shadow arches a brow.

Sonic's face flushes with heat. "Okay, no, you don't get to assume anything. I assume when he takes his breaks because I've lived with him for years before all of this happened. I know his habits. And I know where he is because I'm his older brother. Do you actually think I wouldn't check where his missions are going to be for the day? I know you think I'm irresponsible and reckless, but really, Shads? You know me better than this."

"I know how much you care for the kit. I know how much he cares for you. It is because I know that I'm here," Shadow leans forward very slightly. Sonic nearly laughs at the situation. So, Shadow isn't unnerved by their proximity. Sonic doesn't know how he should take that information. On the one hand, it makes this argument harder because he can't just lean closer to get Shadow to back off. On the other hand, his heart does a funny little flip at the idea, and while Sonic can blame that on the chaos energy inside his body, he also knows it's probably connected to something else.

"I really don't get what you're going on about. I'm not ignoring Tails. I'm not avoiding anyone, either, if you're going to start on the same spiel Amy's being going on and on about when I'm trying to get my mission in the mornings," Sonic informs him. He rolls his eyes so hard that his body leans against the threshold, subtly taking him away from Shadow. Does the ebony hedgehog notice? Probably, knowing him. Does Sonic care? Not particularly.

"Your insistence on denying the truth is pathetic. It is also getting us nowhere. We can continue arguing all night, but the truth does not change even if you do not want to face it."

"I know you aren't talking about denying the truth right now," Sonic retorts, shaking his head at Shadow's audacity.

"This is your intervention, not mine. Also, your attempt at a distraction through deflection was noticed and unappreciated," Shadow tells Sonic.

The blue hedgehog laughs. It is a weak noise, but it rumbles through his body like thunder on the horizon. Sonic sinks his head between his knees. When he finishes laughing, he fears there are tears in his eyes. If those are because of the laughter or because of his thoughts, he doesn't know. He blames the former because the latter is too embarrassing. "An intervention, huh? Never thought you would be in charge of mine. Seriously, Shads, who put you up to this?"

Sonic tilts his head, sitting the side of his head against his knee. He looks up at Shadow. The GUN agent (former? Sonic doesn't know. GUN, apparently,  hasn't been in Mobius at any point during Robotnik's reign as emperor) noticeably struggles to maintain eye contact. "No one put me up to this. The kit—"

"You can say his name, you know? I won't tell anyone that you care enough about your roommate to remember his nickname."

Shadow sighs. "Tails—"

"Oh, that's why you haven't said his name," Sonic chuckles. At least, it should be a chuckle. It sounds like glass breaking to him. It sounds like something breaking, anyway. Shadow's expression descends into confusion, but he tries to hide it by looking at Sonic like the blue hedgehog is crazy. Maybe Sonic is. How could he possibly hear Shadow say Tails' name once and suddenly understand the relationship those two formed when Sonic was dead in their eyes? But he does know. They got close enough for Shadow to be fond of Sonic's younger brother. Sonic has no idea how he feels about that. He wishes it was mere jealousy rippling through his body, but it is so much worse. Complicated, too. Sonic just swallows down his feelings, hoping to never experience or process them again. He waves his paw in Shadow's general direction. "Go on. What did Tails do or say?"

Shadow looks at Sonic like he wants to ask more about Sonic's previous statement. The only reason he doesn't is probably the reason he mentioned earlier. He wants to get the 'intervening' part of this intervention started. "Tails wanted to be here right now. He wanted to force a conversation with you. I told him I would do it."

"And why would the Ultimate Lifeform do that?" Sonic asks out of courtesy. He knows the answer. He, at least, knows what it is roughly going to be. All of this just from the way Shadow said Tails' name. Or maybe it was the look in his red eyes when he said it. Either way, Sonic is drawing assumptions in his mind, and whatever has driven him to (not) avoid his brother is getting stronger.

"He has suffered enough because of you." When Shadow wants to pack a punch, he does not hold back in the slightest.

"Right, you know what? Next time I'll make sure not to sacrifice my freedom to keep him safe. I won't let villains kidnap me. I won't get locked in a cell. I won't get tortured every damn day. I won't suddenly come back to life six months later because everyone thought I was dead," Sonic huffs. Everything is suddenly too much for him to handle. Sonic rises to his feet. He reaches his paw into the dark bathroom to grab his gloves. He starts shoving them on his shaking paws.

As Sonic steps toward the door, Shadow rises from the cot. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to work out my emotions and help the resistance deal with more robots," Sonic says without missing a beat or looking over his shoulder. He finally finishes putting his gloves on. He grabs onto the door handle. He really needs to fight something right now. It would help him get the chaos energy out of him. The pain from getting hit back will take his mind off of the emotions that he will punch away. To top it all off, he will— as he said— be helping the resistance.

As Sonic pushes down on the handle, an arm moves in his peripheral vision. Shadow's paw slams against the door to keep it shut. The white material of his glove stands out starkly with the metal door. Sonic huffs. He looks over his shoulder. Yeah, proximity doesn't unnerve Shadow in the slightest. There isn't even a faint tremble in his voice as he says, "We aren't finished talking."

"I think we are. Congratulations. You've cracked the case, Detective Shadow. You were right. I am avoiding Tails. Are you satisfied now? Can I leave?" Sonic asks, returning his face to the door in front of him. He refuses to acknowledge Shadow as anything more than an obstacle in his path. The glove on the door is all there is to worry about.

Unfortunately, Shadow doesn't let Sonic get away with this as he grabs Sonic's shoulder. He spins Sonic around. The blue hedgehog tries to stop the motion, but he only achieves tripping himself up. He would have fallen to the ground if Shadow didn't keep his paw on Sonic's shoulder. He leans closer, letting his forearm press against Sonic's lower throat. Shadow stares directly into Sonic's eyes as he speaks. "Why are you avoiding Tails?"

It might be the paw on the door keeping Sonic from leaving. It might be the firm and constant, yet somehow gentle, pressure against his throat. It might be the look in Shadow's eyes. Whatever it is, something makes tears form in Sonic's eyes. He holds them back with all the strength he has, and that, unfortunately, leaves very little strength to keep the emotions out of his voice. It sounds halfway to shattering as Sonic answers the question of the night, "Because you were right about something else. He has suffered enough because of me."

Despite being told he was right twice by Sonic, Shadow doesn't look the slightest bit happy or prideful. Sonic, honestly, can't quite tell what Shadow is feeling right now. It's some flavor of upset. It might be concern, but Sonic really doesn't want it to be that so he pretends it can't be. "He is suffering without you."

"He will suffer with me! I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't, so forgive me if I pick the lesser of two evils." Sonic's voice is too fragile to properly shout, but he definitely gets close to it. Unfortunately, it only makes Shadow's expression soften around the edges instead of getting sharper like Sonic was hoping it would. He can't stand the softness, not when he already feels so close to fracturing. "I would break down in front of him, Shadow. I can't handle the way he looks at me. I'm not a dead man. I was so close to being one. You have no idea what happened to me— what I did on the Death Egg. He has no idea. I could never explain it to him. I would only start sobbing and screaming and... He mourned his older brother. I can't let him mourn his hero, too."

"He mourned you. He missed you. Every day. All the time," Shadow says it in such a funny way that Sonic could be forgiven for believing Shadow wants to say 'we' instead of 'he.' But the emphasis is on the 'you,' so Sonic chooses to focus on that. Or, he focuses on Shadow's movements as the hedgehog sighs and hangs his head low. When he looks back at Sonic, whatever conflation between his emotions and Tails' emotions is gone. He only speaks about Tails when he opens his mouth again. "He wants you back, Sonic. He doesn't want a hero. He wants his older brother. He wants the person who raised him. He wants the first person who ever looked at him like he was someone worthy of being looked at. You died to him— to us— to everyone, but you came back. You came back, and you don't know how special that is. He might look at you like you're a dead man, but you're the one acting like a ghost."

Everything that has been building inside of Sonic— the chaos energy, the violent anger, the restlessness, all of it— leaves him completely as he exhales, slow and long and heavy. The room seems darker as he releases what has been keeping him running for weeks and weeks since he was finally taken off the forsaken space station. It leaves him without any strength, and he performs the possibly reckless action to set his forehead against Shadow's shoulder. Sonic wouldn't mind being hit or shoved aside (he really needs to talk to someone about that), but Shadow does neither. He does the complete opposite by maneuvering his arms around Sonic's shoulders to pull him closer and hold him there. Still an obstacle preventing him from leaving, but a kinder one.

"I won't be able to face him alone," Sonic admits quietly after several moments have passed (an eternity, really, for someone who is constantly in motion to stand idly).

"You won't have to. I'll be there," Shadow confirms.

Sonic snorts self-deprecatingly. "So I don't hurt him any further?"

"So you don't hurt each other," Shadow corrects somberly.

"Tails could never hurt me."

"Then, I will be there to keep you from hurting yourself," Shadow shrugs the shoulder Sonic isn't currently putting the majority of his weight against. "We can discuss this more in the morning. Go to sleep."

Shadow nudges Sonic away from him. Sonic huffs as he pulls himself away. Without all the negativity inside of him, he is left with nothing. It is difficult to remain upright without it, but he steps back into the threshold of the bathroom. It has been a long time since he's brushed his teeth at an average speed— not his usual speed— but he doesn't want to stir up his chaos energy when he's just gotten it to settle like heavy rocks at the bottom of a lake.

Once Sonic is finished, he removes his gloves and his shoes, leaving them in the bathroom like a glorified closet. He is really breaking standard Mobian conventions tonight, he thinks with some hilarity. Sonic faceplants into his cot. It is neither the best nor the worst place he's ever slept, and it's so much better than where he slept on the Death Egg. It is a good place, all things considered, especially when the past few days are suddenly hitting him like a truck. It's what he gets for letting his emotions out.

"Scoot over," Shadow orders as he pulls on the string to turn the light off. The room descends into pitch black, and Shadow— true to his namesake— blends in entirely. Still, Sonic can feel his presence there.

"Don't you have your own cot?" Sonic asks. Despite his question, he scoots over. He puts himself right next to the wall. He grabs onto the edge of the blanket to keep Shadow from lying on it. Sonic wraps himself in it like he's in a burrito.

Sonic knows the moment Shadow lies down beside him because there really isn't much space on the cot. Their shoulders are pressed together. Their legs would probably tangle if Sonic wasn't cozy in the blanket while Shadow got nothing. Sonic considers sharing, but he has to think about it since this is his cot and he didn't ask Shadow to be here (he hasn't kicked him out, either, though, so there's another point towards giving Shadow some of the blanket).

"I have my own bed, yes, but someone needs to make sure you sleep instead of sneaking off to fight more robots," Shadow responds. In the darkness, all Sonic has to go off of is his voice. Luckily, Sonic thinks he's better with Shadow's voice than he is with his countenance, anyway.

"Don't you need to rest, too?"

"I do not need to sleep. I am the—"

"Ultimate Lifeform. Yes, I know. I also know that you don't need to actually sleep. But you need rest as much as anyone else does," Sonic tells him, rolling his eyes (despite Shadow not being able to see it... unless his Black Doom progenitors gave him night vision. Sonic will have to ask later).

"When you fall asleep, I will properly rest. If you are so concerned about it, sleep," Shadow tells him. Sonic isn't entirely sure what Shadow is doing, but he can both hear and feel Shadow moving around. He's most likely getting comfortable. Sonic huffs. He starts shuffling himself, eventually getting the blanket out from under him. He throws it over Shadow. The ebony hedgehog is decidedly unappreciative as he demands, "Go to sleep."

"Geez, you really don't like me doing good deeds," Sonic huffs with a touch of amusement in his voice. As much as he would like to continue quipping, sleep finally slides over him. Sonic closes his eyes, listening to Shadow's quiet breaths as he succumbs.