Summary: Shadow and Sonic have a conversation after the war while Shadow is trying to force Sonic to take a break.
Post-Sonic: Forces with some flavoring of rewrite in the minor details

Trigger Warning: N/A

Ships: Sonadow (Sonic x Shadow)

Part 1 of 1

—

The overhead sky is a sterling blue, courtesy of the bright golden sun moving through the puffy white streaks of clouds. The wind blows through to bring some comforting coolness to what would otherwise be a hot day. The scent of ashes and rust stains the breeze, but it is faint enough that Shadow wouldn't be able to smell it if not for his superior senses. His nose picks up on other scents that permeate the air without catching the wind. An apple tree grows in the distance, the pink buds barely opening. The porch's floorboards and the rocking chair beneath him both smell distinctly of wood. A hint of petrichor rises from the ground, as if the puddles weren't enough to show the terrible weather that has been cursing Mobius for weeks now. Today is a good day, though, and it doesn't smell too much like lightning or untapped energy in the air.

Another scent is dirt and blood. It is extremely faint— more so than the ashes and rust— but Shadow can smell it clearly. The source of this scent is standing on the edge of the porch in front of Shadow. His faker grips the wooden railing with both of his gloved hands. Sonic's grip is almost as tight as the look in his eyes as he stares out across the lightly forested area surrounded by patches of green grass. The immediate yard in front of the house is fine. The apple tree stands tall, and the grass looks like a field of emeralds (the regular variety without any chaos energy inside it). But beyond that, where Sonic is looking, the ground is charred and the trees are mere stumps. It is the site of one of Eggman's projects that was begun but never finished. The metal that was left there was repurposed by the resistance, but the scars on the earth remain. Shadow looks at the apple tree, and Sonic looks at the clumps of desperate grass growing amongst ruin, and Shadow can't help but think they are doing what the other would normally do.

Sonic shoves his body away from the railing. He takes a few steps back. He bounces on the last one, but he isn't able to hide the wince. Sonic— stubborn as he is— refused medical help beyond what was necessary to keep him alive after they retrieved him from the Death Egg. As soon as he could stand, he was running, completely ignoring the dizziness or even confusion about reality that plagued him with every step. He hasn't given himself a chance to heal properly. He barely lets it heal incorrectly. He just hides his winces and pushes through pain like it affects him less than the rest of them.

"It's been real nice hanging out with you without, y'know, fighting or racing or arguing or..." Sonic trails off, waving his hand in a circle as if there are more words just swirling between his fingers. Sonic smiles at Shadow. It is his standard-issue smile filled with self-confidence bordering on arrogance and mischief bordering on annoyance, but there is also something missing. The smile itself is fine, but it falls flat when it doesn't reach his eyes. His irises were once as green as the Master Emerald, but now it is dark like moss or a swamp at night. Decent enough sights on their own, but the velvety shade doesn't suit Sonic at all. His eyes should be as vibrant as the blue blur that often trails him, and yet, they aren't. They haven't been since months ago before this whole war started. Everyone knows this. Sonic does, too. But Sonic keeps smiling like nothing has changed, and everyone lets him. Shadow, included, even if he doesn't know the reason why for any of these statements. "Whatever. But we should probably cut this break here, yeah?"

"Sit down, or I'll tie you to the chair," Shadow tells him with a glare. The war is over. It has been for a while now. A few weeks, more accurately, but really, the official statement should be: Eggman disappeared a few weeks ago. There is still much work to be done to dismantle the metallic empire he created across Mobius. There are still Mobians that need to be saved from camps, prisons, and ruins. There are still resources to hand out, and structures that need to be built to allow for the slow healing process in the aftereffects of the war. Shadow and Sonic have both been right there with it. They have been speeding to every scattered island to save people, defeat the remaining machines, or hand over boxes filled with whatever resources the islands are able to pull together in these desperate times.

But Amy told them to take a break from their post-war missions. Well, she told Shadow to take a break, and then she asked him to make sure Sonic took one, too. Shadow should have known better. He was taking a reasonable amount of breaks for the Ultimate Lifeform. Sonic, on the other hand, probably hasn't stopped once since he started running— away from the infirmary, away from the Death Egg, away from the resistance, too, in some ways. As the only person able to keep up, Shadow is also the most well-suited to get Sonic to stop.

At least, one would think so, but Shadow's half-hearted threat about tying Sonic to the chair was immediately proven to be the wrong choice of words. Sonic's reactions are fluid and intense, but Shadow can't quite figure out what any of them mean because he's never seen Sonic act like this. Sonic inhales shakily and exhales with sudden force. His pupils shrink and tremble side to side, but his irises remain as dark as a lifeless night. Sonic looks at the wooden chair Shadow was referring to for a split moment, but he tears his gaze away like his eyes have been seized by fire. He very decidedly does not sit. He paces back and forth across one side of the porch, from the railing at the pillar holding up the roof beside the three-step staircase to the ground. Shadow would much prefer Sonic to actually sit, but at least he isn't running away.

"Why is that what everyone goes to? Someone won't stop moving, so you tie them down? What even is that? Haven't they considered that you keep moving because you have too much energy? Or you're just happy? I run around a lot when I'm excited. I'll calm down by myself. You don't have to threaten me." In all his time, Shadow doesn't think he's ever heard Sonic mutter. When Sonic has something to say— be it a joke or an insult— he says it loudly. He says it with pride and confidence even when he's asking a question. Sonic does not care if people overhear him. In fact, he probably relishes in the reactions he gets out of people. So, Shadow wonders, why is Sonic speaking under his breath right now? Why does it feel like he isn't talking to Shadow at all?

Well, Shadow thinks, it might have something to do with the way Sonic is rubbing his wrist right now. He even nudges his gloves out of the way to comfort the fur attached to flesh. Shadow wasn't there to see Sonic in his cell on the Death Egg, but it doesn't take him long to understand one of the many possibilities for what happened.

"I won't tie you to the chair," Shadow promises. He wasn't going to in the first place, but he understands that those words aren't going to be the right ones for this situation. Sonic glances at Shadow briefly. He slows down his pacing without stopping. Shadow raises an eyebrow. "But stop pacing. It's unnerving."

"Me? Moving around? That's unnerving?" Sonic asks sarcastically with only a half-smile on his face. Despite his words, he leans against the railing. His quills move with the breeze. He loosely crosses his arms over his chest as if he barely has the energy to keep them there. He tilts his face to the side, pitching his head far enough back that a few rays of light brush against the space where his fur meets his quills. Sonic exhales, and he seems calmer, somewhat, for a few seconds as he finally takes in the scene Shadow as trying to show him when he brought the two of them here for their break.

They are at one of the many houses left abandoned in Eggman's wake. Shadow doesn't know if the original owners fled or died. He doesn't go inside for that reason alone. But he does sit on the porch, watching the wind move the boughs of the apple tree and the fragrance of life regrowing fill his nose. He rocks back and forth. In this hellscape of a country, Shadow finds some modicum of peace here, and he was hoping Sonic would find that, too. Arrogantly, he thought Sonic would love it here more than him, and he isn't ready to face how startling the realization that he was wrong is. Not necessarily because he was wrong, but because he was wrong about Sonic— wrong about someone that he often feels like he knows in his entirety and then, in true Sonic fashion, comes out of nowhere to surprise Shadow with an entirely new facet of his personality or story about his life experiences.

"We should be out there. We have a mission to do. We have several missions to do," Sonic says after what couldn't have been a few moments. His foot taps impatiently against the wooden beams, and the sound echoes louder than the distant rumbling of thunder (the storm is most likely approaching from behind the house because Shadow cannot see dark clouds on the horizon, only smokestacks).

Sonic says the word 'we,' but Shadow can hear it plainly in his voice that Sonic means 'I.' I should be out there. I have a mission to do. I have several missions to do. Shadow doesn't know what purpose his inclusion in the phrase was meant to serve.

"We are taking a break right now," Shadow reminds him simply. He follows in Sonic's lead, using 'we' to substitute in for 'you.'

"We've been taking a break. It's time that we get back to it," Sonic argues, gesturing vaguely in the distance like their next mission is somewhere in that direction. It might be, Shadow concedes, but they won't know until Amy or Knuckles gives them their next objective. Amy and Knuckles won't do that until they— or Sonic, at least— gets proper rest. While Amy did use the word 'break,' Shadow gets the feeling she wants Sonic away from everything for at least a few hours.

"What is this really about?" Shadow asks. He isn't one for questions normally. If he doesn't already understand it, he will figure it out himself. If it's about people (Mobian or human), he doesn't care enough to ask them anything. At least, he didn't before. But now, he asks questions because there are people he cares about. Rogue and Omega, yes, but a few others that are slowly drifting closer and closer to him despite his attempts to maintain distance and separation. His walls are strong, yet the cracks are present and a few people are slipping through. And the first to enter the inner sanctum and the one to be there the longest is undoubtedly Sonic. He never thought he would let anyone back in after Maria's death, but Sonic simply has an annoying way of getting where he wants to be— be that literally with his speed or figuratively like in Shadow's case.

Sonic looks away immediately. This is most likely to hide the plethora of emotions that move across his face. Shadow is only able to see half of his expression, and he can tell it's complicated. Sonic debates with himself until he turns back to Shadow. For the first time since he was catatonic in a hospital bed, Sonic shows how utterly exhausted he is. "I was handing out supplies. This hawk asked me where I was during the war. I tried explaining, but she wouldn't listen. She asked how someone as fast as I am could get caught— how a hero like me could stay captured. I couldn't answer her. She took her stuff and left. I keep thinking about what she said. Does everyone else think that way, but only she was brave enough to say it?"

"More like arrogant enough, and ungrateful, too," Shadow huffs. "You were captured because you were protecting the fox."

As devastating as the war was, perhaps a little good came from it. Shadow was never fond of Tails prior to all of this, but during those months when everyone assumed Sonic was dead, Tails and Shadow had been united by some sense of grief, a responsibility to the legacy this important figure in their lives left behind. In the beginning, Shadow thinks they were using each other. Tails reminded Shadow of Maria in some ways, and while Shadow couldn't prove it, he thinks Tails was looking for Sonic in Shadow. Eventually, however, time proved that the differences were too numerous, and they began to see each other as individuals independent of their past traumas. Shadow doesn't know if this was any better because like his older brother, Tails made an impression on Shadow that was going to last.

"I should have been able to protect him and myself," Sonic corrects with a half-glare causing his eyelids to droop. Shadow doesn't know what he's glaring at, though. It certainly isn't him. "I shouldn't have brought Tails there in the first place. I shouldn't have dragged him into the fight. And you can say that isn't my fault, either, but... I'm the one that instilled this sense of adventure in him. No matter how far back you go, it always ends up being my fault. I should have done more. I shouldn't have gotten caught. I shouldn't have waited for the others to rescue me. I shouldn't just be picking up the broken pieces when I could have prevented all this from breaking from the very start"

Shadow feels wrong listening to this. He knows— and a few others— that Infinite happened as a direct consequence of Shadow's actions. But Sonic should know about this, too, so Shadow really doesn't understand why Sonic is pinning the blame entirely on his shoulders when Shadow is partially responsible, too. Shadow feels guilty about his actions, yes, but not nearly as much as Sonic does (nor as much as some other people would think he should feel, but Shadow has had enough of his emotions without purposefully dialing them up just for the opinions of people he doesn't care about).

"Come here," Shadow says, sitting straighter in the chair. Sonic frowns at him with an eyebrow raising higher. But he complies. He moves across the porch without a hint of hesitancy, more like the Sonic everyone is familiar with. Once Sonic is right in front of him, Shadow grabs Sonic's wrists. He pulls gently and quickly until Sonic's hands are behind his neck, halfway in his quills. Shadow grabs Sonic's waist, tugging down. "Now, will you finally sit?"

Sonic's ability to follow orders is astounding today. He actually does sit, straddling Shadow's lap despite the confusion still evident on his face. Only a little unkindly, Shadow pushes Sonic's head down against his shoulder. Sonic makes a soft noise of protest, but he doesn't pull away. He only shifts until he's comfortable, looking at the side of Shadow's face. Shadow moves his arms around Sonic's body to tug him close. "It isn't your fault. Even if it was, you've done enough right now. Rest, so that you might continue tomorrow."

Sonic huffs, the precursor to some retort. It never comes, though. Sonic remains silent. Shadow isn't entirely sure how he feels about that, so he closes his eyes and pretends it's fine. They are really going to have to get into where Sonic's sense of guilt comes from, but for now, he should finally rest.