fandom: none

song: i cant handle change.

vent.

333 words

~instrumental~

hangin' out where i don't belong is nothing new to me

"hey, s̷̹͇̭̦͓̅͛̈͊͌͠͝ó̴͈̠̀̂̈̏͜ͅp̶̨̯̑̈h̵͇͈̤̘́̿i̶̩͙̜̖͔͓̲̝̎̔̊̾͑̂͘̕e̶̗̳̱̹̪̫̩̗̣̓͐̓̎̅̓͝! wait up."

"listen, charlotte. we're not friends anymore, you don't belong with us. leave us alone."

'this can't be happening. we've been best friends for 2 years and she's just gonna leave?'

i get tired and i get sick and then i lose the strength to leave

i tried to sit up but failed and fell back down onto the soft mattress. i have to get up, school is in half an hour.

i can't handle change x2

after what felt like hours, i finally got out of bed. another day of hell! at least i'll get to see s̷̹͇̭̦͓̅͛̈͊͌͠͝ó̴͈̠̀̂̈̏͜ͅp̶̨̯̑̈h̵͇͈̤̘́̿i̶̩͙̜̖͔͓̲̝̎̔̊̾͑̂͘̕e̶̗̳̱̹̪̫̩̗̣̓͐̓̎̅̓͝

.

.

.

nothing i do is ever good (enough)x6

you should work harder.
you're not doing enough.
you're making them more upset.
no eating until you finish this.
i didn't even start it though.

leave me alone.x4

"i wanna be left alone. please, get out of my room.." a sigh came from the door as she opened it and left. i could hear her footsteps going down the stairs. i miss her already, i have to stop doing this. i don't wanna be alone.

...

i can't help but repeat myself.

"i'm always happy, what do you mean?"

"you keep saying that."

"i'm only saying the truth, it's alright. i'm happy."

i know it's not your fault.

"it's all my fault she died!" i heard sobs coming from my p̵͚͌͐͂͝͝ã̷̜͓̣̿r̷̯̮͂̉̌e̵̩̣̎̄̈̓͘͝n̶̬̭͍͛t̸̢̧̛̞̺̹͖̍͒̈́̅͒s̴͚͇̱͎̫͓̑ room. why would she say it? it's clearly my fault. geez...

still lately i begin to shake.
for no reason at all.x5

giggling came from the laptop, i laughed along with her. it'd been an hour or so since we started the call, everything was going great. i felt happy. i fell back on my bed, almost hitting my head on the charcoal black backboard. i began to pay attention to my surroundings, putting my hands on my legs. they were shaking, why does this always happen?