private messages

junebug
mel are you up

junebug
i need to talk to you

s(mel)ly
this is your third personal crisis of the week it better be good

junebug
it's about my relationship

s(mel)ly
did something happen with seb?

s(mel)ly
if he hurt you i'll rip out his spine and use it to choke him

junebug
aw that's so sweet

junebug
it's not about seb though

s(mel)ly
wait what other relationship do you have

junebug
bucky and i are fighting

s(mel)ly
the fuck

s(mel)ly
please tell me fighting at least means he's physically attacking you

junebug
no we've just been spending a lot of time apart and i'm pretty sure he thinks i don't appreciate him anymore

junebug
i made him a sweater and he didn't even want to wear it

s(mel)ly
mm

s(mel)ly
gotcha

s(mel)ly
this is good

s(mel)ly
i'm super calm

s(mel)ly
out of curiosity though do you want your middle name engraved on your tombstone or is june harmon enough

junebug
that felt like a death threat

s(mel)ly
it's because i was threatening you with death

junebug
cool cool cool

junebug
but friendly reminder that murder is illegal

s(mel)ly
i've been to jail it doesn't scare me

junebug
you never went to jail

s(mel)ly
i did once in monopoly

junebug
i don't really know how to respond to that

s(mel)ly
hey remember that time you got arrested

junebug
i don't know what you're talking about the only illegal thing i've done is fuckin killing it on the dance floor

s(mel)ly
and trespassing

junebug
yeah but only once

junebug
okay twice

s(mel)ly
and you used your one phone call to order pizza

junebug
i will not be shamed for that
read 9:54 pm

junebug
mel
read 9:54 pm

junebug
are you ignoring me
read 9:55 pm

junebug
meeellllll
read 9:55 pm

junebug
fine then i'll just text you every thought that comes into my head until you respond

junebug
do you think lettuce feels pain when we eat salad

junebug
if you got a sunburn on your dick would it be called sunny d

junebug
what would happen if you put a chameleon on a mirror?

junebug
did you know komodo dragons can vomit up their last meal if they're being chased so they'll be lighter and they can get away faster

junebug
i think i want to try a juice cleanse

junebug
but like where the juice is actually just vodka

junebug
i am genuinely terrified of et

junebug
i'm still shook that the pillsbury dough boy's real name is poppin' fresh

junebug
seb and i went roller skating the other day and i just stopped in the middle of the rink because i realized i love him so much

junebug
i was immediately run over and scraped my knee but seb bought me bandaids with cats on them and i only fell in love with him more

junebug
also we both agree the moon landing was faked

s(mel)ly
the moon landing was NOT FAKED

junebug
you don't know that

junebug

s(mel)ly
YES I DO

s(mel)ly
IT WAS ABSOLUTELY NOT FAKED

junebug
idk i guess it's just one of those things we'll never know, like what happened to the titanic

s(mel)ly
JUNE IT HIT AN ICEBERG

junebug
maybe

junebug
who knows

s(mel)ly
sweet son of the lord

s(mel)ly
how are we friends

junebug
i don't know but it's almost been 5 years

junebug
our friendship anniversary is next week❤️

s(mel)ly
june you remembered!!

junebug
of course i did you're my baby bean and i love you beyond belief

s(mel)ly
stop being gross

junebug
i can't help it you're my best friend

s(mel)ly
ugh you're mine too

s(mel)ly
please don't ever die because i'll never find someone like you ever again

junebug
if i die it's probably because you murdered me

s(mel)ly
you're not wrong

s(mel)ly
but i still love you and i miss you

junebug
i love you and i miss you

junebug
also tom loves you and misses you

s(mel)ly
and we're done here

AUTHOR'S NOTE: i have no idea what the fuck happened here in all honesty i was gently drunk when i wrote parts of this but i decided to publish it anyway because this fic is already falling apart