private messages

june
crack an egg in my ass and fuck me so hard you scramble it😩👅🍳

june
oH MY GOD THAT WAS MILES NOT ME

june
he didn't believe i was actually texting sebastian stan i am SO sorry

june
pls don't file a restraining order against me

seb
it's fine

seb
i'm not weirded out at all

seb
but coincidentally i will be leaving town forever and erasing all records of me in existence

june
if it makes you feel better miles will never walk again

seb
wow so comforting omg

seb
i love it when girls commit physical violence for me😍😍

june
thats so great of you

june
usually guys are all like 'babe i can't believe you would set my ex gf on fire' and the cops are all like 'you're going to be doing 25 to life for this'

seb
hate it when that happens

june
so annoying

seb
so who's miles then?

seb
i've never heard you mention him before

june
he owns a music repair shop in sf where i get my cello fixed and tuned

june
...

june
he's my friend i guess?

seb
you sure took your sweet time to respond

june
were you just waiting by the phone for 3 hours in desperation

seb
no

june
mm

seb
there were snack breaks

seb
but what's wrong with asking who miles is

june
idk it feels weird to talk about crushes with you

seb
you have a crush?? on a human man?? who's not a cat or a fictional character????

june
i hate you

seb
come on june we're practically bffs now you can talk to me about anything

seb
we'll sit around in our robes and drink chardonnay and braid each others hair and watch real housewives

june
i want to cancel our friendship

seb
too late i already made friendship bracelets

seb
now you have to tell me about miles

june
fine

june
we've been talking a lot recently

june
and he's just so nice and kind of a perfect human being

seb
so you like him?

june
i think i might

seb
ahahahaha fuck
[deleted]

seb
that's great june

AUTHOR'S NOTE: what time is it? (time for drama and conflict and jealousy!)