Something happened during the weekend shortly before summer break. Some friends and I, crush included, went camping in the forests next to a beautiful lake. Pia's parents brought us there by car, but in order to get to the place where we could put up our tents, we had to walk through jungle like conditions. Maybe not that bad, but there were a few bigger puddles we had to went through, and lots of stinging nettles. The place we then reached was amazing, we were the only people in the woods, near to us were cliffs, perfect to sit on, blueberries all around us and clear but icy cold water. I loved it, honestly, but not only because of our surroundings, another reason was my crush. His name was Nolan. Our relationship status at that moment was: friends with cuddling benefits, means: whenever we drank alcohol and went partying we ended up cuddling.

So, in the evening we sat down at the top of the cliffs, that were actually shaped like a couch, not a comfortable one though, but for that we had cozy blankets and pillows with us, and alcohol. I laid next to him, and after a few shots my head leant on his breast. I could feel his hand on my upper leg and out of reflex I placed my hand on mine. Without words our fingers communicated and understood each other so well that after a brief moment they were intertwined, but never motionless. Our thumbs moved slowly around each other, softly stroking our skin. We didn't dare to talk, it was natural and beautiful. Never had I hold hands like that before.

Night set down, it became darker and darker, but we laid there, hands in hands, looking at the stars, listening to music that set the perfect vibe. Pia woke me out of my lovely bubble just to announce, that she and Nick were going to sleep.

"Oh yeah, then we can take your spot, it looks way more comfortable"

Those were the first words I heard out of Nolans mouth after what felt like eternity. It was quite a beautiful eternity though. But it even got better.

When I stood up, my legs were unsteady, but Nolan stabilized me and as soon as we were back in our cuddling position on the other end of the cliffs, our romantic moment reappeared. Was it that romantic for him as for me? I wonder.

I have no idea when we decided to go to our tent, but when I found myself there we were laying in our sleeping bags, unsure of what to do or say. Then everything went quickly and uncomplicated. His hand reached mine, and as I took it, he pulled me towards him, his arms pressed my body next to his, I could hear his heartbeat pounding extremely fast. And that was when I realized that I was in love. Pure happiness, like I've never felt before flushed through my veins.

I should have known how vulnerable this flush had made me.

I could feel his breath next to my ear and I wanted to kiss him so badly, but then I remembered that we both had alcohol running in our blood and I wanted to be fully aware when I received or gave my very first kiss.

His hands reached under my pullover and rubbed my stomach. For a second I hesitated and thought he'd try anything inappropriate, but his hand rested there and didn't move further up or down. I relaxed and relished every little bit of our late night/early morning cuddling session. I couldn't sleep, but that didn't bother me, because I was extremely close to the person I was in love with, who, I assumed at that time, liked me back.

I was happy. I was really, really happy.

And I thanked God. Because God let me experience love. At the same time, I begged to let me experience more. Now I'm doubting that was a good idea.