The beginning is always the most difficult one. Seriously, I have absolutely no idea where I should start. Basically my life is great. I've got friends, I've got a lovely family, hell yeah, even some boys like me, but there is still something that I'm missing. Attention. And a boyfriend. But most importantly attention.

You know what, I know that I should be happy about what I already have, that I am not one of those kids that are starving to death right now and that I actually have the chance to live my life to the fullest. But that's the point. I can't take that chance. I've tried, honestly, but there's something about me that somehow makes me invisible to the world.

I see how you are trying to follow me right now and I get that it's difficult so I think the best way to show how I am feeling is to guide you through my life. A to Z. Okay, maybe not so detailed, but you'll see.

I was born into a huge family. I was never alone, there was always someone around me. They loved me and I loved them. Sounds lovely, right? I can't really remember a lot from that time though, but my parents always tell me that I was one of the wild ones. The kid that is constantly running away, exploring things, climbing up the highest trees and stumbling over basically everything. That's why I lost so many teeth. God thanks, they were milk teeth. I wonder when I lost that spirit or where it's hidden. Not so much the spirit of being a freaking butterfingers, but of being cheeky, sassy, shameless, wild and confident.

Kindergarten was my favourite time of childhood, I'd say. The huge garden gave me enough opportunities to live out my fantasies. Those of being a pirate, sailing a ship (which was a tree in real life) or being a monkey jumping from tree to tree (which were actual trees in real life, and yes I did hurt myself). Every time I came here, my friends and I dived into another world. A peaceful world, full of joy and adventures. Whatever game we played, I was always the leader, because I told the others that someone with one-sided face freckles is meant to be a leader. And they believed me. I was known for my specialties and I was known for being proud of them. I still am, but not in the same way.

My brother and I, we always used to cut out these recipes printed in the newspaper and recreate them with all types of ingredients, like flowers, roots, leaves and branches. But whenever it got too boring for me, I climbed up the clothes pole and I suddenly was a circus perfomer (Surprisingly I did not hurt myself, or I just don't remember)

"You're very bossy" was something I got to hear lots of times, but I didn't care, because that made me get everything I wanted. Almost everything.

One thing I didn't get for example, was my dream room. In a spare moment of mercy for my brother I decided to leave the bigger room for him and to move into the smaller one. Today I don't mind, my room is pretty cozy, and I hang out in his often enough, but earlier I could have hit myself.

Right now I wish I could go back. Relive these happy moments once again. I was famous in kindergarden. And I wish to be famous again.

-

Sorry, if you're confused xD I hope that within a couple more chapters it will be clear where I am going with this story :)

Lots of love

Tess