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52: Doubts

As Eskel and Juray tracked their prey, Eskel softly sang the same song he'd sing to Aiden.

"De ole hen she cackled, she cackled on de fence... De ole hen she cackled, an she ain't cackled sence."

"What's that song?" Juray asked. "You used to sing that to Aiden."

"Some old hill-folk tune, perfect for hiking... My mom sang it to me."

"You remember her?"

"Just that silly song. Nothing else."

"Lucky."

"Still bitter?"

"Not bitter. Angry. I would love to forget having stuff thrown at me and called the White Demon and being reminded about how I was a curse and should have died at birth. How my birth father wished I'd been stillborn."

"Hmm. Good point. But at least you're taking it out on monsters and not being an asshole to everyone around you."

"Like Lambert?"

"Like Lambert."

Juray crouched down. "Landed here."

"Not very gracefully, look at the tracks. You broke its wing when you hit it with Aard, I think."

"Fled to its lair, looks like."

"Good. Means it's done fleeing. Gonna make a stand."

"Makes it more dangerous too." Juray stood. "Come on."


~~~


They finished off the forktail together, the two knowing how to use their strengths to aid each other.

"All right. Let's collect the spinal fluid and get outta here. Cut into its back, just below the skull."

"Gonna tell me which side of the knife to cut with next?" Juray asked as she crouched down with her knife drawn.

"The sharp one," Eskel said with a smirk as Juray worked. "C'mon, hurry up."

"Yen can wait five more minutes for this."

"Speaking of, why's Yen lifting the curse and not you?"

"I need the help. She has more connections than me." Juray finished collecting the spinal fluid and stood. "The curse was spoken in a dialect of Eldar I don't know how I knew the translation for. And the magic coming off Uma isn't anything I've ever sensed before. Even with my...", she trailed off. "Abilities, I can't pinpoint how to lift it on my own."

"That's the first time I've heard not call your extra abilities a curse."

"Because I don't know what it is anymore."

Eskel took Juray by the shoulders and turned her toward him. "It doesn't matter if your abilities come from a curse or not. You're still a damn good Witcher and you're the best at lifting curses. You've made a name for yourself and I'm proud to call you friend."

"You're so full of shit, Eskel."

"How? I'm only telling you what I think."

Juray gave a small smile. "Come on. Let's get back to the horses."


~~~


Geralt and Lambert arrived at the cave, neither really having been there since their final trial. They all avoided the cave if they could.

"Ready for the caverns?" Lambert asked.

"Before we go inside—"

"Ugh, drink a dose of Cat, I know. Any more words of wisdom? Like 'Step softly or you'll wake Old Speartip'?"

"Old Speartip's still down there?"

"Yeah, he is – unless he's done us a favor and keeled over on his own. Could come at us at any moment."

"How'd the rhyme go? Old Speartip's a deep sleeper..."

"Wake him up and you'll sleep deeper. C'mon."

They walked inside the cave, approaching a high ledge.

"Shit..." Geralt said. "Too damn high."

"Not if I give you a boost," Lambert said. "Remember? Part of the Trial. 'A witcher is a lone hunter—'"

"'...but even a lone hunter can use a helping hand sometimes.' Vesemir."

"Ready?" Lambert cupped his hands and gave Geralt a boost up. "Ooooff... You fat fuck."

Geralt rolled his eyes and crouched down, extending his hand. "One... Two... Three..."

Lambert used his Witcher abilities to jump up, the two grasping forearms and Geralt pulled Lambert up.

"You're no feather, either. C'mon, let's go."

They walked a little farther in.

"Hmm... Wall looks a little shaky... Aard, maybe?"

"Mhm. And wake Old Speartip?"

"What? You afraid?"

"No. I just think before I act. Mind not stomping like that?"

"Relax... I slipped."

The two climbed over the wall.

"Ugh!" Lambert exclaimed.

"What?"

"Something fell in my eye. A splinter, I think."

"Hope it wasn't from a broken mirror... That'd make you even nastier."

"Ha, ha."

"Bones... Pulverized."

"Mhm. Old Speartip's never been kind to guests." Lambert waved a hand in front of his face. "Oof, place reeks of mould..."

"What'd you expect? Scent of violets?"

"Would've been nice..."

They climbed a ledge and soon found the old cyclops, fast asleep and snoring loudly.

"Ah, so soft and sweet, just sleepin' there... Makes you wanna make this moment last forever..."

They made it past Old Spearhead without waking him and came out the other side of the cave.

"Oof... Good to be back above ground," Lambert said.

"Mhm... Still trouble ahead."

"Mean the trolls? They're in for trouble, not us."

"Dunno who you're trying to impress. Tough-guy stuff's just not working on me."

"Heh, look who's talking. Vesemir told me about that job you did for those Nilfgaardians in Velen." Lambert mimicked the Nifgaardian accent. "What... what are you doing?!" He then mimicked Geralt. "Killing monsters." He laughed. "Good one."

Geralt shrugged, wondering where Lambert picked up his impression talent. "Just came out that way... C'mon."


~~~


When Eskel and Juray reached the horses, Eskel turned to Juray. "Hey. Whaddaya say to a little race? Maybe see who's faster – Shadowmount or Scorpion. And who's the better rider."

"We've established this already. I could beat you riding a lame sow... But why not."

"You're a lame sow yourself. First to Kaer Morhen wins!"

"Oh really? I'm the lame sow?"

They mounted and Eskel counted them down. The two horses took off like bullets, both Witchers laying low in the saddle. They stayed neck to neck for most of the race.

Until Juray grinned at Eskel. "Now, Shadowmount!"

The mare lurched forward, using her reserved stamina. The exact same tactic she'd used against Geralt in Skellige and one Eskel didn't know she had started to use. Juray made it back to Kaer Morhen first and dismounted, waiting for Eskel.

"Finally. Took you a while," she said.

"You little shit!" Eskel replied with a laugh. "When'd you learn that one?"

"After our last race. You knew all my tricks. Had to come up with a new one."

"I guess we've established once again who's the better rider. Didn't wager anything, but can't help thinking you deserve a prize."

"Not gonna take anything from you. Buy me a round some time and we'll call it good."

"Done deal."

Together they went into the keep to give Yennefer the forktail spinal fluid.


~~~


After dealing with some rock trolls, Geralt and Lambert finally approached the Circle of Elements, just as night was falling.

"Just... a few steps more... and we're there," Lambert breathed.

"Oo, that's some serious panting. Out of breath, out of shape."

"Nah... Just a bit... hung over."

"Been hitting the hooch with Eskel again?"

"No... Been hitting it alone..."

They finally reached their destination. The Circle of Elements looked over the valley and the two could see Kaer Morhen in the distance.

"Well..." Geralt said. "We made it."

"No denying that." Lambert looked over the view. "Damn... Beautiful view."

"Must be if you noticed it."

"Geralt, who do you take me for?"

"Lemme think... a sourpuss?"

Lambert laughed. "Fair enough, but save the rest of your compliments for later. Let's get to work."

"Remember how this Circle works? Been a while since I activated my medallion here..."

"It's fine, old man, no need to make excuses. Light the torches and place the phylactery on the altar. I'll handle the rest."

Geralt lit the torches around the altar.

"How'd it go...? Water, then earth...then air?"

Geralt rolled his eyes before he placed the phylactery on the altar, knowing Lambert was pulling his leg.

"All right... Phylactery's in place."

"Then all we gotta do is wait. The container'll absorb the Power of the elements... while we catch a breather." Lambert sat on a nearby rock, while Geralt looked over the view again. "So, how'd you deal with the trolls when you passed the Trial of the Medallion?"

"Lemme think..." Geralt turned and leaned against the altar. "Oh yeah. Used Axii. But I only had to get past one troll. Other two were busy."

"Yeah, useful sign, Axii. Saved my life a short while ago."

"Sense a good story coming..."

"One of the best. A couple of road robbers stopped me – one pointed a crossbow at me and the other started rummaging through my satchel. Made the man with the crossbow shoot his friend... then hang himself."

"Wow..." Sarcasm dripped off Geralt's tongue. "Truly great story."

"Isn't it? Real side-splitter, I think."

"Tell me... You always been such a cynical bastard?"

"No. I was adorable before Vesemir brought me to Kaer Morhen."

"Think it's that bad being a Witcher?" Geralt pushed off the altar.

"Guess I could've been someone worse... Just a shame I had no choice."

"It was our destiny..." Geralt walked toward the edge of the platform away from the altar.

"Destiny? Let me tell you about destiny." Lambert stood. "My dad was a drunk. He'd knock a few back, then beat me and Mom bloody. We prayed for his death, every night. One day our prayers were almost answered. Dad lost his way coming home from the tavern, walked smack into a nest of nekkers... But some Witcher saved him. Know what he wanted in return?" Lambert turned and looked over the view. "'Give me the first thing you see when you get home.'" He turned back to Geralt. "My life... For the life of that prick? I say fuck that kinda destiny."

"Didn't know... I'm sorry."

"Next time you wonder why I'm so bitter... well, there's your answer."

"Then answer me this. Why take it out on Juray when she first got here? Why keep taking it out on her?"

"She embraced it. She was happy to become a Witcher. This cursed little girl was given a choice and she chose this life."

"Do you even know what James took her from? He saved her from an abusive life. Her family didn't want her. Her father said right in front of her that he wished she'd been stillborn. We were the first thing that even resembled a family for her. That's why she was happy to become a Witcher. That's why she chose to go through the training and become a Witcher. Because for the first time in her life she was accepted. And just like you, she's still burdened with those memories."

Lambert was quiet for a moment, telling Geralt he hadn't bothered to learn any of that about Juray. He looked back at the phylactery and saw it was finished absorbing the elements. "All right. We've griped enough. Let's get out of here."

Geralt went over and picked up the phylactery. "Right. Let's get back."

"After you, sir."


~~~


Juray took the forktail fluid to Yennefer.

"You got more than enough," Yennefer said. "Give Eskel my thanks as well."

"Geralt and Lambert haven't returned yet, but I'm sure it won't be long."

Yennefer nodded as she placed the bottle with the rest of the supplies she needed for whatever she was doing. Juray turned to leave. "Juray? A moment."

Juray turned back to the sorceress. "Yes?"

"I trust the book I left you gave you the answers you sought?"

"It's not like you to fish."

Yennefer gave a small laugh. "It is when I'm not sure of how to word what I wish to say to you."

"Be blunt. You never had a problem with that before."

"Very well. I found your sudden interest in Children of the Winter Moon odd. We've always known you were a different kind of Witcher, that your magic was stronger than the other Witchers. But everything became so much clearer after my conversation with Ida earlier today."

Juray crossed her arms. "You spoke to Ida about me? I put my trust in you that you wouldn't go behind my back when I asked about them."

"She mentioned you. Called you a Moon Child. I said nothing about what you asked of me. It was an innocent comment from Geralt that helped me put the pieces together."

Juray scowled.

"You're a Child of the Winter Moon."

"And you came to the conclusion how?"

"The hair, your abilities. Geralt's comment about you being born during a winter full moon. It was then I realized why you'd asked me about Moon Children."

"Well, I hate to disappoint you, but I'm not a powerful sorceress. I never had my conduit moment during puberty. Figuring the mutations kept that from happening. So pretty sure I'm not one."

"Sorceress or Witcher, you're still a Child of the Winter Moon. That does not change anything."

"The only Witcher that might know is Vesemir. So keep your mouth shut about this around the others. And your sisters. The world doesn't need to know a living cautionary tale is hunting monsters for coin."

"Juray."

Juray turned and left the room.



Yennefer was not about to let that be the end of their conversation.

"You are not a cautionary tale. What your parents convinced you is not true. You are not a monster to be feared."

Juray spun around, causing Yennefer to stop in her tracks. "Don't you dare lecture me on being a monster. I'm well aware I'm no monster in any sense."

"I understand you're upset. You've spent your life thinking you carry a curse. To find out that it's—"

"It sure as fuck isn't a blessing. Do you think having parents that ignored you was a blessing? A father that said in your presence that he wished you were stillborn is a blessing? Parents that barely acknowledged that you existed and told your younger brother you were dead until he begged to be told of you a blessing?"

Yennefer was quiet.

"I'd rather this be a curse than to find out I was supposed to be a powerful fucking sorceress that would have been murdered for her power anyway."

"I never said..."

"You didn't have to. We're done here, Yennefer."

Juray turned and walked away again, Yennefer not trying to follow.



Eskel and Vesemir could tell Juray's mood had soured after talking to Yennefer, although the two heard the last part of their argument.

"Keep an eye on Uma, Eskel," Vesemir said as Juray headed toward them, a look on her face as if she'd just had a fight with Lambert. The Witcher mentor intercepted her. "Juray, could I get you to help me with something."

Juray nodded and the two went out the front doors and headed toward the stables.

"I'm sorry, Juray," he said. "I don't need your help. I just needed to get you where only the two of us could speak without nosy ears."

Juray waited.

"I need to tell you something I should have told you years ago. Triss brought it to my attention after her first visit to Kaer Morhen. After introductions were made."

"That she thought I was a Child of the Winter Moon."

Vesemir looked at her.

"I might have overheard your conversation with Triss."

"So you've known? All this time?"

"I just brushed it off. It was a curse, nothing more."

"But..."

Juray sat on a bag of feed. "It started when a pellar called me 'Moon Demon'. He just knew about my abilities, claimed the spirits told him of me. I brushed it off because he's one crazy fucker. Then one of the Druids, Hjort, called me a Witcher sorceress. I corrected him."

"But I'm sensing these men have sowed doubts into your mind." Vesemir leaned against a beam.

"It was a book Yennefer gave me. Told me everything I needed to know."

"What did you learn from the book?"

"I still haven't decided if it actually is a curse, yet. I'm one of the lucky ones. Seems most white-haired, blue-eyed children are murdered out of fear for what they could become. James saved me in more than one way."

"How so?"

"By being his Child Surprise. My parents didn't dare kill me at birth out of their fear of Witchers. They didn't leave me to die or turn me out into the street. Because of the promise they made to Papa. I'm lucky the powers I'm supposed to have went into my Signs and the ability to sense monsters and other creatures."

"What do your instincts tell you?"

Juray was quiet for a moment. "I'm... not sure. I've always known I've been different. How sensitive I am to magic told me that. Realized it when I discovered I could sense monsters without the medallion. I'm the only Witcher that I know of that can sense higher vampires and dopplars. Creatures that rely on being able to hide from a Witcher's senses." Juray looked up at Vesemir. "Would you and Rennes have agreed to allow me to become a Witcher if you'd known?"

"We balked at training you, letting you go through the trials. Rennes was positive you wouldn't make it. James had so much faith in you. He would have been very proud to see the woman and Witcher you became. And he would be smacking you across the back of the head to hear you doubting yourself."

Juray gave a scoff of a laugh.

"Did I ever tell you James found an abandoned child and brought him to Kaer Morhen?"

"Don't think you have."

"He raised that boy himself. Trained him, pushed him. That boy passed every trial. Except the Trial of the Medallion."

"How come?"

"One of the boys in his group woke Old Speartip, trying to prove himself. Got most of the boys in the group killed, including James' boy. Only one made it to the Circle of Elements, but he was useless as a Witcher. Ended up losing a leg. James never got close to anyone else after that. Until you." Vesemir looked at Juray. "There was something about you that made him fiercely protective of you. And you were his daughter in every sense of the word. No surprise when Angelo put you in the family records."

Juray looked at Vesemir. "You knew?"

"That the de Côtes adopted you and gave you the same rights as a natural-born family member? Yes. I also know you rarely use that connection. I also know you've wintered on and off in one of the de Côte's villages for the past 30 or so years. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Because there was no harm in letting you raise a kid. Would have been a waste to bring him here. You gave him the chance at as normal a life a kid could have being raised by a Witcher." Vesemir looked over at Juray, who was giving him a look. "Alright. Angelo told me when I asked if he'd seen you when you seemed to have disappeared."

Juray shook her head and Vesemir stood, clapping her on the shoulder.

"Come on. Don't let this Moon Child thing get to you. You're a damn good Witcher and everyone here knows it. Including Lambert."

The two headed back inside the castle.

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