I don't know if we are devoted or not.
I don't know if we should make amends.
I don't know if you still remember
the third of March.
I presume we are just to be called friends.

Eavesdropping is a grace.
I got to know your crush.
I got to know your love.
I waited for you to disclose,
but you forgot who I was.

You forgot, love.
After that day when,
you were able to make friends.
When you were under the spotlight.
When you weren't difficult to find.
And I sat by that lonely table
with my feelings boxed up
And I patiently waited for your time.
Little did I know the cause for its delay.

Walking across the hallway,
our eyes meet,
and I sense familiarity.
If we were to be called strangers,
it is not how two wanderers meet.

I sense it right away.
We were walking on the graves.
The graves of our unearthed secrets we shared.
By the locker lay few, few by the gym
in the classes we were together in.

They are to be blamed for the sense of familiarity.
They are to be blamed for this longing,
this crave, and this void.

With each step I took over those empty graves,
I feared I might fall into one and be forgotten,
but with time, my fear turned into addiction.
Fear of falling and be forgotten
To addiction to fall and disappear.

You see I run things
in all and every direction in my head;
I hope we made the amends,
got back to being friends,
and I hoped I saw you crumble
your perfect face and trend.

I also ran it to a possibility
where it was all a phantasm
where we both never were,
never were what I made us to be,
never were what I sang of,
just never were.

maybe that was due to you
your charm, the air,
your eyes, your smile,
your hazelnut hair
that I deluded you with me.

but I have woken up from 
that half remembered dream
and it kills to recall the remnants 
of a sweet lie
that the poisonous reality
is too much to bare.

its difficult to make out the graves now,
did I dig them up or did we?
were they for our secrets or for me?
I wish I could sedate myself
I wish I could drown myself to tranquility

|•|

The name of the poem doesn't actually have any meaning its just that i wanted it to be the name of the person to who i wrote this to but due to typo its what it is now and i actually like it that way so i have kept it the same.... hope u like it:)