I lit another cigarette and paced my room. "You're not supposed to be smoking," Auntie scolded from the doorway. "The doctor said I just had to cut back, and I told you I was quitting. I'm working on it," I grumbled. Hikaru's number was in my new phone, and my thumb hesitated over the CALL button. It would be courteous to at least let him know; I had called everyone else. "I really wish you wouldn't leave," Auntie repeated for the millionth time in the past week. I smiled and stopped pacing, looking at her with tears in my eyes. "I want to leave. It's better this way, Auntie. I would just be putting a damper on things around here. Besides, it's not like I'll be alone. Haruhi is studying overseas in America. She'll be with me...and we'll be back in the spring for the wedding." She started to cry and I pulled her in my arms. I couldn't cry anymore. I was all out of tears. I had made my choice, and now it was time to stand by it.

I would be leaving Friday, and I didn't plan on looking back. I had to keep moving forward, if not for myself, then at least for my little one. I patted my stomach a few times and Auntie quickly dried her tears. "I'll go fix us some lunch. You're eatin' for two now and I want you as healthy as possible." In an instant, she was gone again. I went back to packing up my meager belongings. My laptop, phone, earbuds, wallet, a folder containing my birth certificate and other important papers, and a change of clothes for the flight all fit in my purse. My clothes and shoes all fit into two large suitcases, and I started loading a duffel bag with knick-nacks and pictures. I stared reminiscently at the framed pictures of me and my friends, and flipped through the stacks of scrapbooks sadly. I was leaving all of this behind me. Then again, everything I had here was over. What was there to hold onto? I held the photo of me and my mother, cradling it to my chest. "Mama, I wish you were here. Maybe then I'd for sure know what to do," I whispered, glancing at the picture one more time before tucking it into the duffel bag.

What Ryo had done was terrible, horrible, and I would never recover from it, but there was something beautiful arising from it: my baby. I would love it and protect it. I would never let anything bad happen to my baby, and if I had to move halfway across the world to ensure that, so be it. In five days, I would be on my way back to the U.S., and there was no going back.