Jack stared at the eyes of poor Miss Lila, the most recent widow of the town. Part of him felt extremely depressed as he saw the woman's reaction. Sure, he was never married to anyone but…. Lila didn't deserve this! She was completely heartbroken, her face filled with deep blue tears and overall freaking out.

He tried to talk to her, trying to comfort her. Jack was a very empathetic person, so he had to go and try to comfort her. He couldn't just leave her alone like that.

He slowly half-stepped closer and tried to talk to her. But unfortunately, he couldn't. He was dead silent as he saw Lila sob. And soon enough, the door closed.

Jack stood there, his face a complete frown. To this day, that still messed up Jack's emotional state. It sucked ass thinking about it. He had to tell a woman with a son that her husband and son's father were found dead thanks to a heart attack.

Everyone told the deputy not to worry about that. To move on, but he couldn't really… move on about it. He couldn't just forget that day.

And to this day, it is stuck in his mind. The memory of her eyes becoming covered in water, her hands in her face. And her son just, right behind her, staring at the scene and wondering what was happening.

It made him sick.

-

Jack always thought he was a decent, at best, cop. Actually, he thought decent was being way too generous for him. Jack thought that he was a completely and utterly terrible cop. He was surprised that he was even allowed to hold a gun and a badge. Either the town was lucky or the town had low standards for potential law enforcement. Jack thought it was the ladder, not the former.

He didn't know why, but he always had high expectations that he wanted to achieve. But for some reason… He didn't reach those expectations. He failed, failed miserably. He felt so damn awful about it. He wanted to quit sometimes. Just go to the Mayor or Chief and just shove his badge and pistol to their faces and say “I quit,”

He looked at the mirror, and every night, he just made fun of himself. Taunted himself about whether or not he had the skills to do his job.

“You're fucking terrible as a cop,” he told himself as he stared at his tired eyes. One of his hands grabbed an object to hold tightly. “You need to get better Jack… You have to! You can't be accidentally causing car crashes and shooting clowns! What if someone died because of your actions? Wreckless bastard…”

He stared and stared at that damn thing for multiple hours sometimes. Other times he just randomly fell asleep. Sometimes he cried like an absolute wuss. He didn't know why. He just did. This day was no different than any other of those days. He really had to do something. But sometimes he didn't know how for some reason.

He still remembers how he just danced during that one time. When he was supposed to be driving the car and turning the thieves just, he, along with his fellow partner, John, was arrested in jail. But instead, he danced and danced. And then he accidentally ran over someone. All because of his lazy-ass distraction.

What was wrong with him? What was fucking wrong with him?

You're nothing, he told himself in his brain. You serve absolutely no purpose. You should just quit. Just go in there, march in the department, and then just shove all his stuff to the chief's face. Saying, “I quit,” and then just leaving and applying for a job at the Candy Club or something.

He just sighed and looked out of the bathroom. Then he just decided to go and leave. Walking away from the bathroom and turning off the light as he left. Jack felt like a mess all of a sudden. Feeling extremely terrible as he grabbed a donut box to get some delicious sweet goodness. Only for him to get absolutely nothing. The box was empty.

He must have forgotten to put it away. Jack sighed and just walked over with the box in hand, putting it away and sighing. Why did everything feel… off? He asked himself. Sure, he felt terrible all the time. But not like this. Not rapidly. He sighed and shook his head. 

Just try not to think about it, he thought. Just try and think about something more positive. You'll like it! Trust me, you will!

Ringggggg! 

Then the phone just decided to ring for some reason. Jack widened his eyes and immediately dashed towards his room. After a solid minute of quick cardio, Jack snatched it and answered as soon as he could. A sudden rush of adrenaline hit him like a truck as he did so.

“Hello?” Jack asked, raising his eyebrow a little bit. “Who's this?”

“Jack!” Boomed out the gruff voice of another cop. “It's John! We want you back at the station! We have to do our nightly patrol of the town and the Chief wants that now!”

John was the sheriff of the town and the person Jack was paired up with the most. Jack and John were partners, always being together to solve cases and make sure the town was safe from any dangers that threatened its citizens. Or so Jack hoped, but he didn't feel that way. He knew John was making an effort and made that true. He liked John, maybe a little too much.

“Oh really?” Jack asked jokingly as he looked around for stuff to grab. “Ok, I'll go and get ready as soon as I can! See you at the station John!”

“Jack, hold up, wait-” John was unfortunately interrupted as Jack hung up.

Jack quickly changed into his uniform and grabbed his badge, gun, and wallet. And then he was off, his mind still filled with nothing but self-loathing and a sense of duty that he didn't deserve.

By a solid few minutes, he was back in the station. Getting a coffee with John and then just heading to the road soon after. The moments only felt like seconds to Jack now. And he didn't even remember when he got to the car. 

–

The same bizarre new smell of plastic and metal polluted Jack's sense of smell as he drove himself and John to the nearby Candy Store. The chief got their new vehicles for some reason. The old ones were completely useless and broke down way too often.

John was about to smoke another cigarette. He pulled out one of the cancer sticks and shoved it into his mustache-covered mouth. The man then pulled out a lighter from one of his many pockets and was about to light it. But he stopped.

John was beginning to see something completely different.

Jack wasn't taking… Usually, Jack would go and at least talk about something with John. Sometimes it was what was on the news or some random fun fact he found in his free time. At least one of these happened every time they were driving on patrols. So Jack being dead silent made John concerned as all hell.

John, being the gruff and serious cop that he was. Quickly made his concern known.

“Jack,” John stated bluntly, turning his head to look at the taller cop. “Are you feeling alright?”

John asking that question made Jack flinch, he turned his head and widened his eyes as he gave John a glance before looking at the road. Jack's hands slowly trembled and almost bled as he held the steering wheel.

He quickly drove the car to a nearby parking spot. He was silent, not even answering John's question for a solid second. He quickly slammed the vehicle into a spot, almost shaking the hell out of the two. John was speechless, he couldn't say anything after Jack sorta freaked out that quickly.

After they parked, Jack just slowly turned his head to John. His expression was completely shocked, and a little bit of sweat went down his face.

“What?” Was all Jack asked, his eyes widened when he stared at John.

John gave Jack a concerned look and sighed; he grabbed the lighter he dropped and used it to light the cigarette, which surprisingly stayed in his mouth. He took a long, long drag from it before repeating his question.

“Are you ok Jack?” John asked, this time a little more serious. “You haven't been talking to me like you usually do. And you don't look so well right now. I'm getting worried about you, I swear you've been having whatever you had on your mind for so long,”

Jack paused again; his hands rubbed on the steering wheel again, and his face grew a little red. The cop looked away from John for a moment. His eyes stared outside for a little bit and then back at John. His eyes were almost tearing up, but Jack managed to keep it controlled.

“I'm totally ok!” Jack lied like an imbecile. “Besides John, I'm hungry, we have a dead body of an exterminator to find. Do we really have to discuss this right now?”

John only sighed once again and took another gigantic drag of his cigarette. He looked back at Jack, with a surprising look of comfort, his eyes making Jack's heart almost explode. The cop then just did something that made Jack gasp.

He unlit the cigarette and threw it at a nearby ashtray he had. This made Jack feel like something was going to change. Whether it was a bad thing or not, something was different.

“Jack, I know you better than you probably know yourself,” John stated. “There's something clearly on your mind. And I feel like you need someone to talk to,”

Jack just sighed, he knew he messed up. He had to tell someone in some way now. And what other person but John? But Jack didn't feel like this would go well.

Oh fucking shit, Jack thought as he stared at him. What am I supposed to do, what am I supposed to do?

Jack just sighed and then decided to say it anyway.

“I think I should quit,” he said bluntly.

John nearly spat all over the inside of the car. He started at Jack, now he had nothing but complete shock as he stared at Jack. The cop’s eyes widened as he looked at Jack. His hands almost grabbed Jack as he looked at him.

“You think you should do what?” John asked, his voice now showing a hint of shock in his voice. “But why Jack? No one is as experienced as you!”

Jack felt offended by that. His voice was a little angry this time. Jack's voice was filled with so much emotion that John felt completely shocked by it. The tears also fully came out, showing 

“Experienced? John, I'm a fucking terrible cop. I accidentally shot a damn clown multiple times. I accidentally ran someone over because I didn't pay attention to the road. And…”

Jack paused, not even sure if he wanted to say it already. Oh, whatever, he should probably say it anyway.

“And I don't think I'm good at protecting people. Miss Lila's husband was fucking dead! I couldn't do anything to protect him or comfort her! Why should I have this job when I can't even do it right? What's the point?”

Jack just looked down and almost began to break down. But he didn't, he just rubbed his eyes and sighed. He rubbed his eyes and looked at him, with a little sadness. Dear God, it broke John's heart. Jack almost hyperventilated before he just sat up and looked up.

Jack felt a hand rest on his shoulder, he gently turned his face and stared at John. His face became super red all of a sudden. Completely shocked that he felt John touching him. Jack wanted to get away, get John's hands off him. But he didn't. He wanted this so much. And now he was getting it thanks to John.

“Jack… you're wrong,” John said. “Sure, you messed up, we get it. But that was all by accident, you didn't do it on purpose. Besides that only happened a total of three times. I know I may not say it all the time, but you are the best cop I've ever had the chance to work with. And I would never trust anyone else over you, ok? Please don't quit Jack, you're a good cop,”

“Really?” Jack asked, almost failing to even speak clearly. “Are you serious?”

John nodded and looked at him; by this point, John noticed the sudden blush Jack had. He quickly began to connect the dots, and he just chuckled a little bit.

“Of course Jack,” John said, squeezing Jack's shoulder. “You are a good guy, and you are my best friend by this point. So I beg of you, please do not quit your job. You're a better person than you think you are,”

Jack smiled a little bit at John and his mood changed greatly. This felt like a breath of fresh air! And for John, out of all people, to tell him. To Jack, John looked like a tough man with presumably traditional values. So when Jack said this after John cheered him up, he thought he was going to get his ass whooped:

“Thanks, John, this is why I love you,”

Those words made Jack flinch a little bit as he stared at John, who just decided to stay silent and gave Jack a stare that went into the taller cop's soul.

Both of them stared at each other, both of their faces flushed as they looked at each other. That moment felt like it was forever to Jack. Both of them just stay there, John's hand on Jack's shoulder and Jack is well confused.

Jack tried to apologize and tried to do anything to help him in this situation.

“Oh crap I'm sorry I didn't mean to-” Jack said, but he wasn't able to finish his sentence that quickly.

John just began to slightly chuckle. He then just scooted over to Jack and did what Jack didn't even expect.

John kissed Jack's cheek.

Jack could feel his cheek getting touched by the rough yet smooth mustached lips of John. Now he was completely flustered by this point. He didn't know what to even do.

Jack then felt one of his hands getting grabbed, and then he felt it being held by one of John's. He looked at John for a little bit, and then Jack finally heard it.

“Well, I love you too Jack,” John said softly as he looked at him. Jack swore that John had a smile, too. “I love you a lot,”