Chapter 4
"Is he going to be ok? He's been out for hours," Wolffe said in concern as he looked over at Thorn and Thire.
"Yeah, he should be fine. He hasn't slept much in the past 72 hours so he was already exhausted. Add the panic attacks, stress and the fact that we aren't used to actually having sedatives and Helix may have given him a little too high of a dose and he's going to be out for a while," Thorn said looking down at Thire with a fond smile.
"You care for him quite a lot don't you," Wolffe said softly and Thorn's eyes flicked back up to him.
"I do," he said slowly, confused as to why Wolffe was suddenly bringing it up.
"It reminds me of how I am with Cub," Wolffe said with a light smile.
"Cub," Thorn questioned.
"He's my ad'ika. He's been with us for close to 4 months but I still view him as a shiny. He's seen battles but he still has this innocence to him. I'd do anything to protect him, I'd lay down my life without hesitation if it was to keep him safe," Wolffe explained.
"Oh. That's sweet but Thire sees Fox as a father figure, not me" Thorn said slowly. He glanced back down at Thire against his chest, tracing his finger lightly down the side of his face. He's never really thought of things that way, he's just always considered Thire as the little brother he would protect above all else.
"Thire has been here since about a couple of months into the war but he wasn't a Commander then. He's slowly risen through the ranks and is the only Commander that didn't go through the training for it. He's also our youngest Commander so the three of us like to try and guide him with everything. Fox is just as protective over Thire as I am, same with Stone. I've never really thought of him like an ad'ika, just ner vod'ika but I think I do treat him differently sometimes. I just can't help it," Thorn said with a shrug.
"It's nice to see bonds like that amongst our vod. The war is harsh and unpredictable, we need to people we can rely on," Wolffe said.
"The Guard can always rely on each other, we've only ever been able to rely on each other," Thorn said quietly. It made Wolffe frown. They've been all alone since, probably when the war started and it's gotten to the point where they seem to doubt they'd ever have anyone on their side.
"Well, not anymore. You can rely on me, I promise you that," Wolffe said firmly.
"Don't bother making promises Commander. No one will believe empty promises. If you want us to believe you'll help, then take action. Show us through what you do, not what you say," Thorn said.
"I will. As soon as these two wake up, I'll talk to my General and bring you guys some supplies," Wolffe promised but Thorn shook his head.
"Fox wouldn't like that. To be honest, I don't think any of us would," he said.
"Why not," Wolffe asked in confusion.
"Natborns don't help us, not even the jedi. They can't be trusted," Thorn said.
"That's ridiculous Bu-General Koon would never do anything to hurt us. He cares for us," Wolffe said with a frown. Plo Koon has protected his battalion many times. In fact he's gone off mission a few times just to keep them safe.
"He's a jedi, he needs you guys to fight for him obviously." Wolffe jumped slightly at the voice but Thorn let out a breath of relief and glanced down.
"You're awake. Are you feeling okay? No panic," Thorn asked quickly.
"I'm fine Ori'vod. What happened? Is Fox going to be okay," Thire asked quietly as he slowly sat up.
"Well you passed out and then woke up. Then you had a panic attack and wouldn't calm down so Helix had to sedate you," Thorn explained with a fond smile.
"Sedate me? I thought we were out of sedatives," Thire questioned slowly.
"We were but Wolffe's troopers brought us some medical supplies to keep Fox alive," Thorn said.
"Bacta? Did they bring bacta," Thire asked with a gasp, looking over at Wolffe and the other two with wide eyes. Wolffe could see the way the young Commanders chest was rising and falling rapidly with each quick breath.
"Thir'ika, calm down," Thorn said softly, placing his hand on the others shoulder.
"But Fox. Is he going to be ok? H-He was so bloody, so-."
"Shh, udesii ad'ika," Thorn said, hushing him softly. Thire blinked in surprise and glanced at Thorn who was very obviously making sure to look away from him. He tilted his head in surprise but relaxed and leant back against Thorn. Wolffe held back at a smile at the interaction and couldn't help but think back to the first time Cub had called him Buir. It was a surprise but he had embraced it right away.
"Fox is going to be just fine. They brought us enough bacta and other medical supplies to help him recover," Thorn assured Thire. Thire jumped out of the bed suddenly before pausing and sitting back down on the edge of the bed and glancing back at Thorn.
"What's wrong," Wolffe asked with a frown. He would hate to have done something wrong and lose the trust of Thire already. It's very clear that the Guard all care for each other but the Commanders seem to have a soft spot for Thire in particular. To lose his trust, would be to have the Guard close themselves off even more.
"Nothing. He just wants to hug you," Thorn said with a light chuckle. Thire's always been more trusting and forgiving, unlike Thorn and Stone. He takes after Fox more in that regard.
"Oh," Wolffe said in surprise, glancing down at the two still sleeping against his chest.
"I mean you could probably fit if you tried," he said uncertainly.
"Don't even joke. Thire is a sucker for hugs," Thorn said with a chuckle as the door to the med bay opened.
"How's everything going in here," Stone asked as he walked in. Thorn sighed and slipped off the bed.
"All good, Fox and Helix are still asleep," Thorn said.
"Oh Thire, you're awake again. How're you feeling," Stone asked, walking over and ruffling the young Commanders hair.
"I'm fine. Commander Wolffe brought us bacta, Fox is going to be ok," Thire said quickly.
"Yeah I heard. I never thought the day would come where I was saying this but we owe him our gratitude," Stone said, glancing at Wolffe and giving him a sharp nod.
"I have to head off, I've got senate duty but keep me updated," Thorn said before leaving quickly.
"Right, I should probably go as well. I don't want to be late," Thire said but Stone stopped him with a hand on his arm.
"Don't worry about it. Hound helped me shift the schedules around so you're free until tonight. You had two panic attacks so it's best if you get more rest vod'ika," Stone said gently. Thire glanced at Wolffe who was still watching them and leant closer to Stone so they could talk just the two of them.
"I'm supposed to be on senate duty at Burtoni's office. I'm on with Mac and he's still technically a shiny," Thire said nervously. Senator Burtoni is on their dangerous list and someone that they keep shinies far away from. They usually try to work it out so that at least one Commander is on shift in her area.
"We switched Thorn onto it. Hound will do the first half of Thorns shift and I'll do the other half," Stone explained, making Thire relax.
"Okay," he said with a nod. Stone gave him a small smile before moving over to the other bed. He hated to do it but he went around and gently shook Helix's shoulder to wake him up. They've been lucky enough to have no injuries in the past 24 hours apart from Fox so Helix was finally able to get some rest but he does need to check to make sure Fox was doing ok. Helix blearily blinked his eyes open before yawning and sitting up, stretching out his back. He glanced down and flushed as he realised he had fallen asleep on the Commander of the 104th. He's not one for vod piles much with the Guard but he especially doesn't go near anyone from the GAR.
"Apologies Commander," he said quickly as he slipped off the bed.
"It's no problem," Wolffe said. It really wasn't. On top of all the problems the Guard already faced, he could tell they were all at least a bit touch starved as well.
"Sorry to wake you Helix but I thought you might want to check up on Fox to see how he's doing," Stone said and Helix nodded quickly.
"Thank you. It's best to keep monitoring to make sure nothing goes wrong," Helix said as he rushed off to find one of the old scanners they still have. He scanned it over Fox's body, reading over the results and letting out a breath of relief.
"Good news," Stone asked hopefully, noticing how Helix's shoulders relaxed.
"I um. I honestly forgot how well bacta works," Helix said quietly, his shoulders slumping further. Fox wounds were bad and they're already well on the mend, all because they had some bacta and pain relief. How many men could he have saved if he only had the proper supplies? How many men would he have not had to let slip away, would not have had to deem too far gone if he just had the basic supplies to help them recover. Stone noticed in an instant when Helix's thoughts started to spiral and he jumped into action.
"Come on, let's take a walk," he said quickly. He technically should be getting some sleep before his next shift but a vod in distress will always come first. He grabbed Helix's wrist and tugged him from the room, not wanting to have the CMO break down in front of the foreign Commander. Wolffe frowned at the action and glanced over at Thire once the door slid shut.
"Is he going to be ok," he asked worriedly.
"Stone will look after him," Thire said with a nod.
"Do you know what's wrong," Wolffe asked worriedly.
"Probably hurts to know how easily he could have saved so many lives if our budget wasn't cut. He's had to give up on people, you know. Cos we didn't have any supplies or we didn't have enough to justify what might not work," Thire said with a shrug as he glanced down at his hands. Wolffe's heart broke at another confirmation that the Guards were significantly struggling and living in situations they should not have to be living in.
"I'm sorry that's been happening to you. We honestly, we have no idea any of this is happening," Wolffe said sadly.
"Yeah, you don't. None of you cared enough to ask, you all just assumed we had the cushy posting," Thire said with an edge of annoyance in his tone.
"And you want to know the funny thing? I don't even have it as bad as the other Commanders, none of us do. They think they're subtle but they really aren't. We all know how much they struggle, the things they try to shield us from," Thire said bitterly. Wolffe remembered his earlier conversation with Thorn as his heart clenched yet again, his grip tightening around Fox. How had they all gotten it so wrong? How could nobody notice what their vode were going through every day?
"And I'm an even shitter person because sometimes I find myself glad that I don't have to go through what they do. Glad that it's them and not me," Thire said quietly. He let out a shaky breath and blinked quickly to try and push down the wetness creeping up in his eyes. He's never talked to anyone about how he feels about everything but Wolffe has been listening to everyone from what he could tell and for some reason he felt he could trust the Wolfpack Commander to listen.
"That doesn't make you a shitty person Thire, not in any way. I'm sure these thoughts are only brief but even if they weren't, it still doesn't make you bad. No one should have to go through anything like what I'm finding out you all go through. And I would be willing to bet my life on the fact that you spend more time feeling guilty and hating yourself, wishing it was you going through it so you could save your Ori'vod's from the pain," Wolffe said. Thire huffed out a laugh and nodded, keeping his head down as the tears started falling down his face.
"I'm a Commander, I'm supposed to do what they do but they won't let me. Fox doesn't listen when I tell him I can take it, I can ease the burden he, Thorn and Stone have. Stone won't even let me talk about it, just cuts me off every single time I bring it up and Thorn treats me like a child. It's nice that they care about me and want to protect me as much as possible but it pains me to see them all go through it. I mean it's different from the others. They aren't around them all the time, they don't see the injuries and the dissociation from what happens. I see all that, I'm there for all that and there's nothing I can do about it," Thire cried out with a whimper.
Like a switch was flipped, Fox's eyes snapped open as something alerted him. He pushed himself up quickly, ignoring hands that tried to hold him down. Something had happened that woke him up. Something was wrong. He looked around the room, taking note of everything to try and figure out what it was that had triggered his protective instincts.
"FOX!" Fox jumped in shock and turned his head around to see Wolffe watching him with an odd look in his eye.
"Damn, you zoned out completely there. You good," Wolffe asked.
"No, something's wrong," Fox said with a frown. Wolffe raised an eyebrow at that, wondering if it was possible that Fox was just insanely protective of his troopers no matter what. He had noticed right away when Helix started crying, despite crying himself.
"Thire's upset," Wolffe said, nodding his head to the young Commander. Fox's head shot to the side and it was then that he took note of the quiet whimpers coming from the bed next to him.
"Vod'ika, come here," Fox said. Thire glanced up with red eyes and tears streaming down his face but shook his head. Fox frowned but decided to go with some dirty tactics.
"Thire, either you come here or I will go to you but I'm injured so that might hurt," Fox pointed out. Thire got up right away and walked over to the side of the bed, trying to wipe his eyes quickly.
"Wolffe, I'm sore so please do the honours," Fox said. Thire was confused but yelped as arms wrapped around him and he was tugged onto the bed. He was worried about hurting Fox accidentally so he quickly moved himself around so that he was in a similar position that Helix previously was. He didn't want to make Wolffe uncomfortable though so he glanced at Wolffe to gouge his reaction. The Commander seemed perfectly fine and content with having the two of them pressed up against him. It was surprising to see how relaxed Wolffe was. It was understandable with Fox as despite their differences, Wolffe and Fox were batchmates but Wolffe didn't seem to care about having others around him which was weird to Thire. The GAR and Guard hate each other, that always been very obvious.
"You're weird," he mumbled before snuggling down in the older Clones hold. It may be weird but he's never one to turn down hugs from those who are comfortable with it. Fox shifted closer and cupped Thire's face with his palm, delicately wiping away the tears that had fallen down his cheeks.
"K'uur Vod'ika," Fox whispered, brushing his thumb against Thire's cheek lightly even after the tears were brushed away.
"Vor'e," Thire said quietly.
"Get some more rest. Thorn said you barely slept for 72 hours and an induced sleep doesn't really count," Wolffe said. Thire smiled sheepishly, hiding his face in Wolffe's chest as he saw the glare Fox was shooting him.
"Don't be a hypocrite, you're worse than me," he mumbled petulantly.
"I'm also older than you and a higher rank," Fox pointed out. Thire huffed and let his eyes slip closed, choosing to ignore Fox so he wouldn't get scolded. Wolffe grinned as he saw the fond smile on Fox's face when he watched Thire. It's rare for anyone to see Fox's face as he almost always wears his helmet and it's been a long time since he's seen a smile on his batchmates face. Or any happy expression actually. He'd talked about it with their other batchmates and everyone just assumed Fox was stuck up and didn't care for them anymore. With the way Fox has been unconsciously clinging to him and nuzzling closer, that couldn't be any further from the truth.
"You sleep as well, you almost died," Wolffe chastised Fox lightly. Fox glanced up, looking like he wanted to argue but he just sighed and nodded, dropping his head back down. Wolffe had been lying there for hours already but he would stay as long as he needed to in order to make sure they were getting the rest and comfort they needed. They've been neglected for far too long but things are going to change.
The 104th battalion will remain on leave in Coruscant for another few days so in that time he's going to do everything he can to help the Guard and then figure out further steps later. He waited until he was sure both Thire and Fox had fallen back asleep before comming Boost once again.
"What can I do for you Commander," Boost said as soon as he answered the comm.
"I need you to pull together a small group of trusted men who aren't blabbermouths. You cannot tell Buir about this or anyone else, just about four or five of pack," Wolffe said.
"Okay. May I ask why," Boost said slowly. He and Sinker had been confused as they dropped the supplies off the first time but Wolffe didn't elaborate, just took the medical supplies inside to make sure Fox got the help he needed. This time, he will have to explain it.
"I can't explain now but I will give you a run down of the situation when you're here," Wolffe said.
"Alright Sir, where exactly is here," Boost asked.
"The Guard barracks again. I want you to meet me out the front in an hour. The people you choose need to be those who don't have a stupid grudge against the guard. I know Sinker can be an idiot sometimes but he doesn't pick fight in 79's with the Corries," Wolffe said.
"Alright, I can do that. Are we bring anything this time," Boost asked. Wolffe smiled to himself, proud of how willing Boost was to help despite not understanding why. He's the type of clone that you can rely on to be there whenever you need them, no matter the circumstances.
"Yes. I need you all to bring as much of our surplus supplies as you can. Food, medical supplies, blankets. Anything that we have a high supply of and won't be needing, pack it and bring it. This needs to be discrete though Boost, you can't just go parading through the street with it," Wolffe said firmly. Boost was quiet for a second and Wolffe could hear movement on the other end of the comm.
"We've karked up, haven't we," Boost spoke up quietly after a few seconds and Wolffe sighed.
"We have, badly. But I'll explain that later. Right now we need to help our vod," Wolffe said.
"Of course sir, Boost and I are on it. We will bring everything we can physically carried," a voice yelled from the background and Wolffe chuckled.
"Thank you Sinker," he said before ending the comm. He let out another sigh and leant back, moving his hands to gently run through both Guard Commanders hair. He had gotten a little sleep earlier but he honestly wasn't feeling very tired. He'd just have to spend the next hour trying to slip out of the bed without waking up his two leeches. Boost and Sinker will pull through like they always do and bring food and supplies for the Guard. It's not much but it's a start, it will have to do.
A/N
Translations:
Ad'ika - Child
Ner Vod'ika - My Little Brother
Vod - Brother
Ori'vod - Big Brother
Udesii - Calm Down
Buir - Father
K'uur - Hush
Vor'e - Thanks
Karked - Swear Word
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