I just crawled on my bed. I woke up at 4:30am and it was already 8:12 o' clock. Yet I couldn't sleep. I tried to fall asleep many a times but in the end, I failed. The only thought that I made a stupid mistake was killing me inside and I had nothing to do to fix it .

Well I did have something to do, I had Rapmon's phone number. And it was enough to contact them again, but to do that, I would have to call them. And it would be a lie to say that I didn't try of doing it. The number of times I opened the whatsapp, opened the number and put my finger a little upper than the screen, only to gain the courage of being able to press more precisely to touch the call icon [I dunno what to call that sorry :( ] , so maybe it would finally start to ring. But no.. My body and soul, both together could not gather that much courage.

Well it did once, but I canceled the call even before it made a ring.

I really am a loser.

"Cring cring "

The doorbell rang.

I slowly stood up from my bed,and made my way to the door. I hastily opened the door, and my parents stood there, with a joyous grin on their face.

Tch...

That's all you have to do, after leaving your daughter without any food.

I moved away from the door, making my way back to my room. From behind I could hear mom closing the door, also asking me sometime.

I slammed the door of my own room, shouting the answer "No" at them, it was the answer to whatever question they asked me, well I couldn't care less about that right now. My head was already filled with a lot of other thoughts to add anymore to it. And before I knew it, I was already back in my bed, starting at the ceiling.

My mom entered my room , without knocking. I didn't change my position, all I did was shifted my gaze to her. She held a black bagpack I suppose?

"Honey, you said nobody came while we were away. "

" When? "

" I asked you when we returned, a few minutes ago. "

Ahh! That was the question about.

I just shifted my gaze at the ceiling back in response.

" then what is this bag in my room... Containing instant noodles? "

I immediately sat down to face my mother, who was now going through the bag to look what was in it.

I snatched it away from her hand. I dont really recall the owner of the bag, but it was of a bts member, and also my excuse to meet them... Again.

So I ran with that bagpack in my hand towards the door, I was too excited I suppose that I didn't even tie up my hair.

As I put on my converse I could hear my mom's voice from my room asking where I was going in this morning.

"Out, " that's all I muttered before slamming the door behind me.

I stood there in front of my apartment, gathering up courage to actually call him.

Well here goes nothing.

The phone rang. But no one picked it up. Waves of thoughts passed my mind.

Maybe they are too much upset with me this time.

I called him again, and this time someone picked it up.

"Hello, " the voice of the leader could be heard from the opposite side. I gasped to the voice.

" Namjoon? "

My heartbeat was already fast, but it was not because I was blushing or anything. I was just too much nervous.

" Yes, " he said. He sounded confused.
" You left one of your bagpack... Of instant rameyun."

"Ow, owww we left it there? We thought it left it in the cab. Thank Lord "

He again started," I'm sorry, I'll make sure to send someone to get it. "

like hell I would ever want that.

" Where are you? I'll bring it to you. "I said as I start walking.

" We are currently at a mall... " and then he asked something in Korean to someone.

" We are at Royal Plaza. "

" Royal Plaza? Uttara?? " I asked as I raised my hand in a motion to stop a cab.

" I think so. "

" okay, Wait for 2 hours.I'll be there by then "

And saying that I canceled the call. I waited for a few more minutes waving my hand, and finally a cab stopped.

I entered the mall. Thanks to the traffic, I became one hour late. Well, I did try to call them again, but he didn't pick up the call. Oh well, I could not do anything about that.

I tried to call them, standing at the entrance , still no answer.

Well maybe Jin got angry at him for taking my call.

Even The thought of it, without doubt made me sad. I put the phone back into my pants. Well apparently I was wearing the same jeans pants, and t-shirt that I wore yesterday, since I somehow collapsed on the couch last night, and didn't even change because of my tiredness. If they ever happened to ask me about my clothes, I'll tell them this.

Lame excuse.

Instead of waiting for their call or them waiting for mine , I started to look for them on my own.

Well they were definitely not on the first floor. You can get a clear view of every single one of the shops from the entrance. And it won't be that hard to see seven tall men huddled up together in one place. So therefore, I decided to check every single food shop that I could.

Why food shop?

Well since it was already 1:34pm,and they left without breakfast. They were most likely to be found in food shops right now. Or that's what I hope for.

Its impossible!

I was on the seventh floor only. And there were WAY more floors to search, the worst part was there were at least over hundreds of food shops in the mall. Thinking about searching every single one of them... It was nothing but my dream.

I let out a sigh as I step inside of the glass elevator, thinking maybe, just maybe they would be on the upper floor. I took out my phone, another last try to give him a call,looking down through the transparent glass wall.

The process repeats.

The phone rings, nobody picks it up. I was so angry that I could again threw my phone on the floor of the elevator. And it was only then, when I saw two cameraman, holding cameras on their shoulders, shooting something, on the ground floor. And the cameramen's clothings were enough to notify mt that, they were not from my country.

I started clicking on the down button of the elevator. Well, obviously it was no use. So I just furiously ran around in the elevator, once checking the people down there, once pressing the buttons, once calling Rapmonster's number. I was furious, because if I lost them now, I dunno how long will I have to wait here, and for how long would I have to look for them again.

Finally the elevator reached the ground floor after 6minutes. And I just stormed out of it. Taking large steps I went to the spot where I saw those cameramen. And thank God, that they were still there. As I followed the cameramen, I noticed BTS inside of a DVD store. All of them were looking at the DVD sorted out in shelves. And the cameras were shooting them. I wanted to run to Rapmonster and smack his head hard, for not picking up my calls, then again, who was I to even do that in the first place.

Without realizing I don't know when I went before the camera and had Blocked it's view. The camera slightly shoved me off from behind by pulling my arms, and saying sorry. So I just stood there, almost like in the middle of nowhere, looking at them trying to talk to the salesman about something, And then again checking some other shelves. And, they were asking some other customers about something as well, bht thanks to the distance i was in from them, I couldn't possibly think of even listening to what they were saying. And finally they decided to pack up I think, after taking a selfie with one of the female customer, who would probably be 2-3years older than me, and offering her a sighned DVD.

Is she a KPOP fan?

I had to admit that I was jealous at that unknown girl. First of all, she could take a selfie with them, something that I still can't imagine of, and then, she stood so close to them!
Well they stood close to her, but that's practically the same thing.
And finally, she gained a SIGHNED ALBUM! Something that I can hardly afford because, it costs frigging alot in my country.

Heol!

I crossed my arms as I kept staring at the men coming out of the shop, gossiping with each other. The cameraman went to them and started to discuss something by showing them the clips. They were all huddled up together, as they carefully listened to every single word that the cameraman told them. They were too focused, that I started to feel weird to even think about disturbing them. And soon after the cameramen started to walk towards the exit, and the rest started to follow them. I stood there till I finally realized that they were leaving the mall. I ran to them, avoiding the crowd of people before me.

Almost all of them were inside of a minibus, and I think the last person was getting on it. I grabbed onto his hand, breathing real hard,because of suddenly stopping running, I started to feel light headed, result; I couldn't keep my head straight and, I bent down, trying to catch my breath back.

"Uhh! Nappy-sshi! "

" HAPPY , Taehyung! " someone from inside of the bus shouted.

" Ah! Mian! " that didn't sound like it was towards me, as the sound was a little low in tone.

" Oudi?"Suga's voice.

I felt as if One of the bus's windows opened. I finally raised my head to see what was happening around me.

The person I grabbed onto was V. And Jimin was also peeking through the bus door looking at me, along with Suga, who stuck his head out through the window.

"What are you doing here?" V asked.

I checked out the inside of the bus, and my eyes caught Jin, sitting in one of the passenger seat, second row I suppose, glaring at me.

I shifted my gaze from him,staring at the ground, letting go of V's hand, and tucking them in my pocket.

"Are you okay now Happy-sshi?"Jimin asked in a concerned tone. I looked up at him. His expression matched his voice. The image of his concerned eyes from the morning flashed before my eyes. I offered him an smile, that was actually all I could do, after all the havoc that I have created.

"Where's Rapmon?" I asked everyone looking at me at that moment, walking two steps away from my previous position,and started checking out all of the bus windows, finding Rapmonster.

"Why? " V asked as he came down.

" I've called him like 60times today. Where is he! " I complained.

I sounded furious and angry,though I shouldn't be, they were practically strangers to me, yet I acted like I had rights over them. Well from my point of view, I did. Nobody can not deny that I am an ARMY and, I had rights on BTS. But thats only me though.and that is why, I think I saw Jungkook frown a little, then again he was staring at his phone's screen, maybe it was just my eyes.

"Ahh~~!! " J-hope screamed. Then he said something in Korean. I couldn't really follow what he said.

After a few seconds, J-hope came out of the bus, grabbing Rapmonster by the collar of his jacket.

" This guy hid inside the bus when he heard Jimin saying your name. "

J-hope said as he laughed.

His laugh is life!

" I'm so sorry! We were shooting, and then "

" I called you 60times at least," I said as I placed my hands on my waist.

"52times actually... But thats close I suppose "

I truly suppressed the urge of throwing my fist at him.

Is he really serious?

"you should have seen his face when you said you called him. Rapmonster immediately checked the phone and his face was, "

with that J-hope started laughing and hitting V's arm. And V just smiled.

" I'm again sorry " Rapmonster said as he bowed a little. I sighed.

" That's why I told you to take my number.. Tch"

I think I heard Suga mumbling.

He was telling the truth. I saw him shooting with my own eyes. So there was nothing for me to say or do anyway. I took the backpack off, and hold it in front of him. He took it from my hand.

"Wah! You had it? I thought we lost it in the cab! " V proclaimed in amusement.

" I called him before, he didn't tell you? "

V shook his head vigorously.

" okay! Let's go to the next spot, "Rapmonster said as he whirled around to get back into the bus.

" We'll take our leave then. " V said as he bowed me a bye. Jimin also waved his hand as he got into it along with J-hope .

I became sad. I came here to talk to Jin, but I didn't know how to start. Or what to say. The engine started and the door started to close. My eyeballs started to tremble, as I thought about what I could do now.

No use. At this rate the bus will leave. And I felt tears building up in my eyes. I bit my lower lip.

Am I gonna cry over this? Such a small matter... Will it really...

My trail of thoughts lost its way to continue anymore, as I saw the door again opening. And Jin came out.

Jin stood there, before me. I looked up at him, trying hard to make sure that the tears don't fall.

"Seulpeoyo? " Jin mumbled in Korean, probably in disbelief. He let out a deep breath, before hitting me on my head lightly.

"Ya! You behaved badly with me, then why are you the one sad over here? That's my job"

I could literally feel those tears at the corner of my eyes. Another word and they will make their way down.

"stop it will you? "Jin softened his voice. I nodded as i stared at the ground.

"sorry," I somehow inaudibly whispered.

"What? Say that again!"Jin said as he leaned towards me a little, in a motion to hear my words clearly.

I lowered my face even more. He laughed a little, before patting on my head a little.

"I told you, you look pretty when you smile, didn't I? "he almost whispered. Before I could even lift my head up, he started to walk away. And soon he was at the door, waving me a good bye. I waved back at him . The door shut down. And the engine again started to accelerate, and the bus started to move. As it passed me I saw Rapmonster sitting on a seat, beside a window. Our eyes met and he winked. And just like yesterday, it was again Namjoon, who was the first one who succeeded in making me blush , making my face feel hot, for no reason at all.

His wink will be the end of me.

I sighed.

So how do I get back?

I looked around, trying to find a cab. I suppose I was so busy in searching for BTS that I forgot that I have not eaten a single bite today. My tummy was growling and I felt weak. Thankfully, I found a cab to make my way back to home.

Home sweet home....

Dad opened the door, and I stepped inside. My mom rushed out of the kitchen, asking me where I was for the past 6 hours. I just answered that I was stuck In the traffic. Then My mom started to give me a lecture, and I just decided to listen to it with one ear, and let it all out with another,while plating myself some food to eat. She told me to go to take a bath or other things I think, I didn't really bother to listen to it,rather I just grabbed a spoon and took the to my room, sat on my bed. Before I started to eat I tied my hair into a bun, or else it becomes a problem for me, since my hair was long enough to almost touch my waist . Soon the food was over. I was still hungry, but too lazy to go and get something else. So I just put that empty plate along with the spoon on the floor and lied down. I was sleepy. My mind was at peace now, so I could actually feel my eyelids getting heavy. I closed my eyes and I could hear Jin's voice, saying those words to me again. It was giving me mental pleasure, and a small smile appeared.

I felt the vibration of my phone in my pocket. I took it out.

Massage on whatsapp.it was from Rapmonster.

RM:Thanks for today.

Also yesterday. :)

It didn't fail to make me smile.

ME:Why? :/

RM: You dunno?

Me:Nope. Inform me.

RM: Well you just let us stay in your home, then brought that bag back.
............
ME: That's What fans are for.

Oops...

I mistakenly sent it. And there was no way to undo it. Fear filled my mind.

And of course before I could send anything else,

RM: well that is true. But you are not a fan.

Me:Then who is, that girl from the dvd store? You liked her didn't you?

Again, I don't know why I asked it. And I might sound hasty or illogical, like who would ask that to their idols. But trust me, that was the only thing that crossed my mind that time.

RM:No -_- she is a stranger.

Me: so am I then.

RM: You just called yourself a fan now.

Me: But you said I wasn't.

RM: You aren't. You don't even know us.

Me:Then what am I?

........

There was this long pause. I started to think if I had crossed my boundaries or not.

RM:Friend? :)

Okay! Did Rapmonster called me his friend. So I am all of their friend... Right? Yay!!!

Me: (^o^)

RM:you are back at home?

ME:hmm.... What are others members doing?

RM:sleeping. 😴

ME: why aren't you then?

RM: thinking about you. ;p

Yup! His winks are really harmful for my health.

I could imagine rapmonster actually winking at me that time. Who won't blush.

Me:I'm sleepy.

RM:Bye.

Me:bye.

RM:BTW. How do you know my name Namjoon. You called me that last time.

Crap! When did I ever do that. I dont remember. Uh!

ME: Internet.You are popular. :)

RM:.... If I say something will you mind?

ME:nah, what's that?

RM:NOTHING. BYE.

ME:"hey"

I Massaged. No reply.

I put my phone aside me. Mom entered the room. Scolding me about why I didn't clean my plate. I only said sorry .

My phone again vibrated.

I opened it to see Rapmonster's msg.

A slight smile appeared on my face.

I could hear my mother's voice from behind.

"Where's all of posters? " mom said as she stared at my wall.

" Who needs poster when you can see them live? " I mumbled, inaudibly.

" Huh? "

I turned to mom, sending her an ear to ear smile. Standing up from the bed, I walked towards the washroom, turning on shower. I couldn't stop smiling thanks to what I saw.

Let's meet tomorrow-Suga

ME:sure, inform me the place. I'll come.

I moved in front of the mirror, and without realizing, I automatically untied my hair. The water was still running. I ran my fingers through my hair,in an attempt to fix it.

The smile, that was plastered on my face, stretched,as I recalled the last text.

How did he know that I tied it up. But... Does he really mean it?
.
.
.
Well I can't tell .

And with that I moved away from the mirror, deciding to get myself soaked. I stood under the shower.

It really was another hectic day.

.........

The last text -

RM: untie it..... messy hair suits you more <3

-----------------+++++++--------------