Holtens Pov

"Wake up Holten"

"What!"I snapped.

"Wanna tell me what's going on with you and Ryder?"

"Kells, nothing's going on. He's my friend. Am I not allowed to have friends?"

"Don't pull that shit. You can but I know you. If he hurts you, we're back at square one. I don't want you to go through that again"

"Nothing is going on. I won't get hurt. I'm fine"

"Okay" I say up and he looked in thought.

"Stop thinking. We know its bad for you". He rolled his eyes and I smiled. "How's the boyfriend?"

"I never expected this to happen. I've always liked Ryder. I knew I had no chance with him though. I never knew Beck liked me. He always seemed annoyed with me. But I like him. A lot. He makes me happy. I don't think I woulda felt this way with Ryder or anyone else. So I'm glad I'm with him"

"He was probably hiding that he liked you because he knew you liked Ryder. And sometimes things you don't expect are the best things that have happened to you"

"Oh, that makes since and I see that now"

"I'm glad you're happy". He smiled.

"I am too. I just haven't spent much time with you. And you've been with Ryder more"

"Don't be jealous. You're my best friend. You helped me through things I wouldn't have gotten through without you". He hugged me and we sat there for awhile. Kells was like my brother. He would never be Logan though. No one would replace him. His phone buzzed.

"Beck?" I smirked.

"Yeah, we're supposed to be going somewhere. He won't tell me where"

"You walk here?"

"Yup"

"Tell him to get you from here"

"Okie. He says Ryder's with him" he said frowning.

"You really don't like Ryder do you?"

"No! That's not it. I just get jealous. I'm working on it" I chuckled. I texted Ryder.

'You're with Beck?'

'Yup why?'

'Kells says their supposed to be hanging out'

'They are, I was talking to him'

'Wanna come over? He's supposed to be picking him up from my house'

'I have to go somewhere, sorry!'

I felt a pang in my chest but pushed it away. Ah well. I'll just go back to sleep.

Ryder's Pov

My chest was hurting. I wanted to see him. I missed him but I told Conner I'd go see him. I had told Beck I was dating Conner. He was happy for me. I knew Daya would be happier though. I knew it would take me awhile to get over wanting Holten. I knew I could though. I would have to. He didn't want to date me. And I had this gut feeling if I didn't date Conner because of Holten. Something bad would happen.

I drove to Conners and rang his door bell. He opened it.

"Hey" he said grinning. I smiled back.

We ended up watching The Avengers, because he'd never seen it. It just gave me time to think. I was going to have to make time for Holten. I missed him and he was my friend. And we still had our deal.

"You okay?"

"Uh yeah"

"Ryder"

"I'm fine"

"Okay"

"So what now?"

"What do you wanna do?"

"We could talk" I was trying to stay away from sex. I didn't want to and I didn't want him to see what Holten did.

He opened his mouth but his phone rang. He left the room to answer it. I sighed. What have I gotten myself in to?

"Sorry, I have to go somewhere. I won't be back for a few days"

"Oh okay" I said confused.

"It's my friend. He needs me right now"

"I understand" I hugged him and kissed his check before leaving. I called Holten.

"Yo?" He said sounding sleepy.

"Did I wake you?"

"Yeah"

"I miss you" I said.

"I.. I thought you were busy" I flinched.

"Not anymore"

"What did Conner have somewhere to go?" I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Wha-"

"You didn't think Beck would keep quiet? He was bursting to tell everyone. You could've just told me. It's not like I care. As long as you know I'm still gonna get what I want."

"Yeah". Old Holten was back.

"You coming over then?"

"Yes"

"See ya" he said before hanging up. I shoulda told him. He was upset because I didn't tell him. What was I going to do to fix this?

Holtens Pov

I was in my shower. Staring at my razor. Why? Conner had gotten Ryder. Which brought memories back. I felt like he was gonna come back and ruin me some more. Oh yeah could also be the text Conner sent me.

'I'm dating Ryder so back off or well you know what will happen'

I had already found out from Beck. I had gotten hurt again. Which meant I would be shutting people out. I was so weak, it was the only thing I could do to protect myself.

I hadn't cut in a few years. And you're not about to start now Holten. I told myself and turned the water off. I heard my doorbell ring and wrapped the towel around my waist. I headed to the door and opened it.

"Ryder" I said smirking. His eyes traveled down my body.

"If you like what you see just get in the house already"

He obeyed and I slammed him against the door. I was going make him feel so good, he wouldn't be able to enjoy sex with Conner because it would be so plain.

Ryder's Pov

I lay there sweating and breathing like I had asthma.

"I thought you were mad at me"

"Angry sex is better anyways" he muttered. He got up and pulled jeans on.

"What're you doing?" I asked.

"We'll I'm going to be a couch potato and your going home"

"Why?"

"Because I don't feel like hanging out"

"With me"

"With anyone"

"You're jealous"

He laughed without humor. "Why in hell would I be jealous?"

"Never mind" I whispered. I felt tears prickling my eyes. I got up and attempted to get dress but I got so frustrated I let the tears fall and went into his bathroom. I leaned against the door, trying to calm down. I always mess everything up. I was so confused.

Holtens Pov

I hated that he was crying. I hated fighting with him. I sighed and pushed the door open. I closed the door behind me and saw he was sitting on the floor.

"Ouch" he glared.

"So you're going back to hating me?"

"You hate me. So why the hell not?"

"I don't hate you Ryder. Look Conner isn't good. I don't know why you would go out with him. Even you're sister can see he's bad"

"How do you know that?"

"I...can't tell you. Just trust me."

"Fine, just because I honestly feel weird dating him and I hate fighting with you. But..I feel like something's gonna happen if I don't date him"

Yeah to me but I don't care as long as your fine.

"I'll make sure it doesn't"

"I'm so confused."

"Ditto" I sighed sitting down beside him.

"What are we gonna do?"

"First you're gonna dump Conner or least tell him you need a break or something. Then we're gonna live"

"Live?"

"Yeah, do something crazy"

"Fun."

"Ryder.."

"What?"

"I didn't mean to be such an ass. I don't know-"

"Apology accepted" he said smirking.

"Okay I texted him"

"Turn your phone off"

I grabbed his hand and pulled him up with me. Against my better judgement, I pulled him into me and hugged him hard.

"Let's try not to fight again"he muttered. I chuckled.

"Agreed" it felt unnatural.

Ryder's Pov

I felt way better now that Holten and I were fine again. It felt like I could breathe again.

"So where are we going?"

"I know a guy who drag races. We're gonna go see him race"

"Awesome!"

"Wanna know the best part?"

"Not sure I do?"

"If he wins he usually lets me take it for a spin"

"Yeah that's pretty awesome!" He grinned at me.

It took us awhile to get there. It was evening and I was hungry. Thankfully he pulled into a dinner. We headed inside and he smirked.

"Holten Lambert?" A really hot blue eyed black haired guy asked. He looked like the typical bad boy.

"The one and only. Long time no see Vlad"

"What brings you around?"

"Living. Wanna win tonight?"

"You trying to impress?" He said nodding at me.

"Nope. Just wanna go for a spin"

"I'll let you go if I don't win. Just cuz I haven't seem you I'm awhile kid" Holten rolled his eyes and sat down in a booth.

"Yay food" I said. "So how do you know him?"

"I used to sneak down here when I was 15, 16. Mostly to see him."

"Wow"

"What? You saw him. I was a horny kid who had a new found interest in boys. I was determined"

"Did you get him?"

"I got you didn't I? I work mysterious way Ryder" he said winking. Yeah, but he's way better than me.

After stuffing my face we headed to the track, this town was like bad boy heaven. No one seemed to care.

Holten found Vlad again and took the bottle of vodka Vlad handed him.

"Whos the sex god?" Vlad asked looking me over and winking.

"My friend"

"Ahh, I'm proud you're taste got better"

"How? You look way better than me?" I said.

"Maybe to you. But on another note I'm a person who doesn't give a fuck. Holten needs someone how does. You do" he said before walking away.

"You look better than him to me Ryder" Holten said. Has he lost his mind?

It was after the race and Vlad had won.

"Holten I really don't want to". I told him.

"Okay we don't have to. We lived enough. I got you to smoke weed. I'm satisfied"

He told Vlad goodbye and we got in his car.

"Did you have fun?" He asked.

"Hell yeah"

"Good. I was kinda making up for..."

"You don't have to"

"But I feel weird about it"

"Just forget it"

"I shouldn't have been like that"

"It is okay!" He smiled at me.

I don't want to lose you either Holten. I knew that's what he was feeling. Even if he couldn't tell me. I hated fighting with him just as much as he hated fighting with me. Today's was very drama filled. It left us all confused.

Conners Pov

"He broke up with you?"

"Yes"

"Holtens doing?"

"No doubt" I growled.

"Looks like I'm gonna have to show up sooner. But lets let them think everything's dandy for awhile"

"You're horrible" I told him smirking.

"That I am" he said smirking back.

Eeeppppp sorry about the late upload!! Soooo what did you think! I hated Ryder and Holten fighting. It still feels weird.. Ah well...comment and vote! I wanna know your thoughts!!!