I was a different woman walking down Billy's driveway. In the year since his accident, I had found myself even more protective of him than before. It didn't surprise me when I got the call asking me to come.

Billy was on the front steps of the old farmhouse he had rebuilt into a home. It had always felt so full of life when I visited, but it felt deflated of everything this night. As I approached, I noticed his pale-skinned glowing in the moonlight, just like all those years before, when he stood beneath the streetlight of Geno's. Silently, he took my bag and slung it over his shoulder while pulling me into his chest.

"She left me, Lil," his words choked on a sob. His chest heaved beneath my head. "I knew we had problems; I just didn't..." He pulled away and brought a hand to his hair, gently tugging it as he collected himself. "I should've been home more. I didn't need to go into the studio. I have a fucking studio here."

He collected his thoughts, and I stayed quiet.

"She wanted to go places." He shook his head; it was more like a tick. "I can't just go out. There are people everywhere taking pictures, talking to me, asking me for whatever they think I'll give them." His hand trembled as he nervously brought it back to his hair.

"It's okay, Billy. Everything is going to be okay. I promise." I wanted to ease his pain, but instead, I just followed him.

He didn't go into the house; he crossed to the barn and climbed up the studio's stairs. I should've known; it was the place that would comfort him. He spent the entire night playing old songs, consoling songs. As his hands floated across the piano's keys, his shoulders rose from their slump. By the time the sun was up, a few tempered smiles had graced his lips.

I lured him from the studio with the promise of breakfast, but, as I suspected, he passed out on the couch before I could even make toast. I heard the slam of a car door and knew it could only be one of the few people with the gate code. Tim was partway to the house when I peeked out the window. I met him on the porch to prevent him from waking Billy.

"How is he?" Tim looked like he had slept about as much as I had.

"Not great, but he'll make it."

"Thanks for coming, Lil. I know it's a lot juggling this with everything else in your life." He let out a heavy sigh.

"It's fine. I work for an IT company; if we can't figure out remote technology for people, there's a problem."

Tim laughed, but it was all he could muster before he slumped down on the steps.

"You okay, Timmy?" I sat down next to him and bumped his shoulder with mine.

"Yeah, all things considered, I'm great." He said it in a mournful tone. "It's not like it's much of a surprise. I guess I just..." his words dropped out.

"Does this make you worry about you and Tess?"

"No, the opposite, actually. I'm lucky." He lifted his eyes to meet mine. "I don't know how, but I love that woman more today than when I married her, and she seems to dig me still."

"She more than digs you," I teased.

"It just sucks. I want everyone to feel like I do. And Billy, of all people. I mean, he's always wanted what Mary and Armand had. This has to destroy him. And the kids. I know this isn't what he wanted for the kids."

I stayed quiet, mulling over Tim's words.

"This is why it's good you're here." He jabbed me with his elbow. "I'd probably just bring him down further." Tim let an empty laugh slip from his lips. "How long can you stay?"

"As long as he needs. I can work remotely."

"You need help setting up an office? I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you commandeered his one upstairs. He mostly uses the one in the barn, anyway."

"Yeah, I should get things set up before something blows up at work, but we have to be quiet because he just fell asleep," I cautioned.

"Lil, have you slept at all?"

"Ah, sleep is for mortals. All I need is about seventeen cups of coffee, and I'll be ready for my morning huddles."

Tim had my equipment set up in under half an hour; it was impressive.

"If you ever want a job in IT, just let me know," I joked.

"Yeah, that's what Billy needs. Me ditching him for a career in IT," Tim shot back.

"Mmhmm, probably should let some wounds heal," I murmured, but I was already distracted as I escaped the physical office for my virtual world.

Meetings, emails, and chats filled my day. Billy didn't stir once. It wasn't until I was halfway through boiling pasta that he appeared in the kitchen. He pulled himself up on the counter and watched me work in silence for a little while.

"You didn't have to make dinner," his voice was low and clouded with sleep.

"I did if I wanted to eat," I playfully smiled.

"I was planning on ordering something."

"Ah, no need. You had pasta and a jar of your mom's sauce. Instant dinner, even I can handle boiling pasta. How are you feeling?" I absently added as I drained the noodles.

"Tired, depressed, lonely, sad, angry, annoyed...kind of horny," he let his words drift off.

"Really?"

"You asked." He shrugged.

"So, things are looking up?"

He let out a little laugh.

We ate in comfortable silence. Billy's appetite impressed me, and I was grateful his mom always kept him stocked with a few jars of her sauce.

"You want to watch a movie or something?" I offered as I cleared the plates.

"Sure, you have one in mind?"

"Host's choice."

"I don't feel like the host right now," he murmured. "Let's go with Duck Soup."

I didn't make it through much before I nodded off on Billy's shoulder and only mildly woke up as he was carrying me up to bed.

"Sorry," I mustered from his arms.

"Don't apologize. I don't know what I was thinking. I kept you up all night, and then you worked all day. You're going to make yourself sick." There was a scolding in his voice, but I knew it was at himself.

"Do you think you'll be able to sleep?" I asked as he gently set me on my bed.

"Yeah, I'm pretty wiped too." He kissed me on the forehead. "Good night, Lil. I'm glad you are here."

"Good night, Billy. I love you."

I was asleep before my mind could question if he was actually tired. If I had been more awake, I'd have doubted him. As it was, I awoke with a start before the sun had come up. I headed to the kitchen and found Billy passed out on the couch.

"Hey," I whispered while putting a hand on his shoulder. "Couldn't sleep?"

He opened his heavy eyes with a deep breath. The purple from insufficient sleep was already pooling beneath his eyes.

"Mmhmm, I guess I fell asleep finishing the movie."

"Come on," I prodded, "let's get you in your proper bed before you wreck your back."

He heavily heaved himself up and let me lead him by the hand up the stairs. But when we got to the door of his room, he paused.

"Are you okay?" I asked, as he lingered.

"I can't sleep in that bed."

He heavily leaned against the wall and looked like the scared boy from over ten years ago. Adrift in a career that was threatening to overtake him. But this time, it wasn't the success threatening to sink him; it was loneliness.

I didn't know what else to do, so I offered what I could. "Do you want to stay with me tonight?"

He didn't answer, but he again let me take his hand and lead him to my room.

There was an intimacy in our friendship that was unmatched by the intimacy of passion. Passion is alluring, flashy, and lustful. But the closeness of friendship can keep a heart from stopping and lungs from giving up. As Billy slumped to the bed, his eyes lingered on me while I crouched before him to untie his shoelaces. One after another, his shoes came off, followed by his socks. I stood before him again and didn't stop my hand from cupping his face. He looked like a young boy, lost and lonely. He let his cheek press further into my hand and lifted his own to cover it.

After a moment, I dropped my touch and tugged on his shirt. He lifted his arms so I could pull it off him. Then I set the pillows for him as he laid back. I paused for a moment, remembering for a fleeting moment what it was like to be in love with the broken man before me, and then reached for his belt buckle. There was no sexual charge between us. I unhooked the belt and then his pants' button before helping him out of them, leaving him in boxers.

After setting his clothes aside, I slid next to him and pulled on the surrounding covers. He pulled me to his chest like a child clinging to a stuffed toy and kissed the top of my head.

"Thank you, Lil," And then he was asleep.