Recovering From the Past

Songs of the chapter:

1. We Are Young by Fun. (describes him) (yes I know y'all probably hate him)

2. I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift (how Rose feels about Wes)

3. Geronimo by Sheppard (attached song; how Niall feels)

4. Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift (because this is the Riall anthem!!!)

Note: for future reference, any large amount of italics is either a flashback or a memory.

Waking up a few hours later, head banging in Niall's arms was not what I expected. In fact, I had no idea what was going on. Here's what happened:

I stirred awake, opening my eyes to see a familiar face above mine. The moment I saw light, my head started to beat like a drum, and I cringed. Well, I must be very hungover, I thought. "What happened?" I muttered, not recalling anything since last night when I was drinking bottle after bottle of wine. "You, er... got pretty angry," Niall said sadly. I groaned, internally scolding myself. "I'm so sorry, Niall, I never meant to get mad at you-" I stopped when I saw my arm. It was worse than I thought it was, maybe I hurt it more since I can last remember?  

I swallowed loudly and tried to stand up, but ended up stumbling. Niall caught my arm and helped me to the bathroom, where I washed my face and pulled on a t-shirt. I looked him in the eyes, and could see how hurt he was. He was looking at the ground, deep in thought. "Niall, what did I do? Or say?" I asked, moving closer to him, only inches away now. He took a shaky breath and answered in his perfect Irish accent, "You were drunk. It's fine. What do you remember?"

"Well, I know how I got here. All I remember though is that I fell asleep after eating a shit ton of Oreos and drinking lots of alcohol."

"Yeah... let's just say you were difficult earlier this morning when I found you," Niall said, defeated. Then quieter, he asked me, "Have you been taking your medications? For the past week you have been so distant, and... different."

Now it was my turn to look at the ground, ashamed. "I-I'm sorry. I ran out and never bothered to get another refill of the prescription for my anti-depressants. I'll get them soon, today even."

I hated this feeling. The feeling like I hurt Niall by hurting myself. I just don't feel important, you know? I'm a speck of dust on this planet, and here I am surrounded by people who have achieved so much. I didn't even notice Niall was speaking. "-So you started throwing a fit, yelling at yourself, and I couldn't take it anymore, so I came back. You pretty much passed out within a minute," oh, he was telling me about this morning. 

That was quite a morning, let me tell you. Here I am now, walking beside Niall on the way back to the tour buses. Don't worry, I made sure I looked presentable and not hungover. To the best of my knowledge, he still doesn't know why I had a fit last night. It's a better time than never to tell him. "Niall," I told him. He turned to look at me as we kept walking. "Rose," he answered.

"I need to tell you why I freaked out last night and went on a bit of a rampage," I bit my lip at the end of the sentence. He nodded, so I continued, "Well, Kelsey's friend who is visiting just happens to be Wesley."

Niall stopped walking. "The Wesley? As in asshole ex-boyfriend Wesley?" 

"Yeah," I said, and we were getting close to the buses. 

"I'm going to hurt that son of a-" I slapped my hand over his mouth before he could finish the profanity. "No, don't hurt him. Sure, he was an arse, but I'm just going to avoid him. And so should you," I told him.

He groaned and said, "Fine, but if he tries anything I will whoop his sorry backside."

I laughed at the choice of words, "That would be much appreciated," I reply. 

We walk hand in hand through the door of the girls' bus. The chatter which was audible from outside immediately stopped when they saw us. "Hi," I awkwardly greeted with a small wave. Lottie, Kelsey, and Wes were sitting on the couch, playing some video game. Lottie cleared her throat and said, "Hey. How are you feeling?"

I shrug, "Alright, I guess." I start to go toward to back lounge, when I realize Niall isn't following me. I look to see him glaring at Wes. Grabbing his hand, I drag him away and brought him into the back room, closing the door behind us. He scratched the back of his neck and muttered, "You never told me he was good looking..." 

"Yeah, well, if it makes you feel any better, you look ten times more handsome," I told him. Niall pulls me closer to him, placing one hand on the small of my back, and the other cupping my chin.

He whispered, "I was really worried about you this morning. I love you so much and can't stand to see you hurt."

"Niall, please stop," I pleaded. 

He just pressed his forehead to mine and repeated, "I love you."

I closed my eyes and took in the moment, and said, "I love you too."

Interrupting, an unwelcome voice announced, "Are you two done being lovey-dovey yet?"

I pulled away from Niall, but he still kept his hand on my waistline. "Well, the door was closed, and you should have knocked," I sassed.

Wes rolled his eyes and said, "Fine. Everyone is already in the arena or stadium or whatever, so they told me to get you two."

I looked to Niall and we locked eyes for a second, then followed Wes out of the bus, and into the venue. I was hoping that Niall would not do anything with Wes because that would only cause trouble.

Wes was wasted, as usual. At any school party he would drag me to, he would be the first to binge drink beer and act like a stupid monkey. This was a prom party during our junior year, and honestly, this was the craziest one we had been to yet. Right after prom ended we headed to Wes' house because he was holding the party of the year. At one point he stumbled over to me when I was sitting on the couch, "Hey babe, let's have some fun tonight," he slurred into my ear, pressing his body against mine. I should have known that he was trouble as soon as he started being nice to me again in freshman year.

I scooted away a little bit, and scolded him, "No, we are not, especially when you are drunk and probably high." he lifted his red solo cup into the air and smirked, "To us surviving the year." How ironic, when all he did was destroy it. 

I snapped back to reality when I was being called, "Rose, we need you to set up on stage!" I meekly nodded and went about my business, making sure the piano was plugged in, the microphones all lined up on the table, and the guitars in place.

As soon as the concert started, I settled backstage in the lounge room where we ate dinner yesterday (I think there is a leftover fry over by one of the folding chairs). In my hand were the fabrics which I ordered to make our cosplay costumes yesterday. I'd uncovered a sewing machine in a different room, so I just brought it here and made myself comfortable, starting to make the outfits. 

"Making clothes again, huh?" Wes asked me, walking into my bedroom, leaning against the doorframe. "Yeah, I'm making my semi-formal dress," I said, being a freshman at the time. Wes and I had somehow become friends over the past few months, and we were hanging out increasingly. We were best friends, even. "Oh," he stared at the purple fabric on my sewing table. 

"Who asked you?" Wes asked. I tried to hold in my laughter but couldn't. "Ha, you thought someone asked me... No, nobody would be stupid enough to ask Rose Pilla to semi." He sat down on the edge of my bed, fiddling with his fingers. 

Wes just looked down at the ground, biting his lip, probably a habit. "What's wrong?" I ask back, continuing to iron out the chiffon-polyester blended fabric, looking back up to see him staring intently at me. I set down the iron and sat down next to him. I could tell that something was up with him. He calmly said, "It's just that I thought it was a thing for people to go as couples."

I shrug, "It doesn't matter. I'm just going to have fun and hang out with Maya. And if you go, then I'll see you too." But the problem was that I didn't blend in with his crowd, his friends. I didn't fit in with his popular group, I guess. Maya always told me to stay away from Wes, but he turned so kind and caring that I had to forgive him for the tormenting in years past. 

"Will you go with me?" He blurted out.

I looked at him, wide-eyed, "Aren't you going to ask Kiara or someone from your group?"

He shook his head, "No, I really... I really like you."

I sat in silence, thinking, surprised. I thought Wes just thought of me as a friend. "Okay," I replied quietly. A grin spread across his face, "Awesome!" He pulled me into a quick hug and then rushed out of my room, leaving me in reverie. 

"Making clothes again, huh?" I whipped my head around to see Wes repeat the same exact words I thought of only a moment ago.

Stuttering, I said, "I, uh, y-yeah."

He continued to casually sit down on one of the couches and cross his legs. "So, you and Niall are a thing now?"

I debated whether or not to respond, but decided to not be rude, and reply, "He's my boyfriend."

He looked down at the ground again and said, "I'm sorry about the way things ended for us, Rose."

Thinking about that moment where I found out that I was just a piece in a sick, twisted game, made my throat feel constrained. I did not answer, and just continued to work through with the fabric, folding it here, sewing it there.

I heard him stand up, and his footsteps lead closer to me, until I could finally see him in my peripheral vision on my left. I swiveled in the swivelly chair to face him, crossing my arms. "I'm not going to say that it's okay, because it most definitely isn't. Like I told you, please leave me be. I'm fine right now, happy even. If you try to destroy that, I have no idea what I will do," I threaten.

He backs up with his hands up in surrender, "Whoa, didn't know you could still shoot daggers with your eyes."

"I'd rather forget the past than be reminded of it," I said, and finished my purple cape off with the hood. He moved even closer to me, putting his hand over mine. I abruptly pulled away. "No, don't fucking touch me!" I told him through clenched teeth.

I speed walked out of the room and bumped into Niall. He saw my face and furrowed his brow. "What's wrong?" he asked me immediately. I shook my head and waved it off, and said, "I need some time alone to think."

I tried to push past him, but he caught my wrist. "No, you are not pushing me away this time. Tell me what happened," he pressed on. 

I sighed and Niall loosened his grip on my wrist, moving his hand down to meet mine, intertwining our fingers. I sat down against the wall in the small hallway, pulling him down next to me. "Nothing, honestly. Just Wesley being an ass. I try to stay away from him, but he comes to me. I can't be overly rude," I told him.

Niall continued to play with my fingers and suddenly looked up to my face. He said, "You're right. But he's leaving pretty soon, I think t'morrow. So just stay with me and you don't have to deal with him."

I nodded and leaned my head on Niall's shoulder, and he draped his arm around me. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Princess. You don't like your past and that's understandable-" he begins, but I cut him off.

"No, I'm sorry for how I was acting last night and this morning. It was very childish and I should have taken my medications. I thought I could go without them... it was just a stupid idea."

Niall pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and murmured, "I don't care. It happens to everyone. I love you and nothing can change that."

Ayooooo crazy mofos!

Sorry for the late update... I had a serious case of writers block and edited this like 4 times. I technically wrote 4 different chapters but decided upon this one.

Any ideas? Please comment!

Do you love Team Riall? Please vote!

Are you into Rosley (Wesley and Rose)? Please vote for that too.

I'll try to update again tomorrow to make up for my absence.

All the love as usual,

Juliet x