-Alex POV-

I wake up in the middle of the night to a loud banging outside. I rush over to close the windows, I left them open. If I don't shut them the water will get in. The water will flood the house, the water will rise.

I cry as I latch down the window, my breathing heavy as I fall to the floor. It's been years, but every time it rains I think of him, of his hands disappearing below the surface.

"Alex, what's wrong?"

I jump, I forgot John was here.

"I-it's no-nothing."

"Alex, you're crying on the floor at 3AM. Let me help you."

I feel myself being scooped up in his arms, and I cling to his chest as he brings me to my bedroom.

"It's *hic* storming."

"Shh, it's okay." I let out a small sigh as his hands run through my hair, together we lay on the bed. He shifts, and I panic, I don't want to be alone again.

"S-stay."

"I wouldn't dream of leaving you like this."

I crack a small smile as his arms wrap around me, holding me tightly to him. He feels so safe, like as long as I can hold onto him I can make it out.

"Thank you."

"Lexi, you saved my life. This is nothing."

"Too me, it's everything."

John stays up with me for the rest of the night as we listen to the sounds outside the bedroom. In the morning, we head to the kitchen. 

"Can I get you anything for breakfast?"

"I'm okay with whatever."

He needs to eat something, based on the way his roommates were piling food onto his plate last night I'm certain he won't get anything himself.

I pull out a pancake box, stirring in milk and eggs. John watches me pour the batter into the pan. Half the batter anyways, the rest is all over the counter. John grabs a rag from the counter as I pile breakfast onto two plates, grabbing toppings from under the island.

The pancakes are somehow both burnt and slightly raw at the same time, but John doesn't complain as he drops chocolate chips and coconut on his plate.

"These are pretty good!"

"John, they're awful, it's been 5 years of cooking for myself and I still struggle. You're lucky you have roommates that can cook well."

"I have a roommate that can cook well, Hercules once melted a pack philsbury doughboy cookies."

"How do you ruin preformed cookies?"

"You use wax paper instead of parchment."

"No way!" I can picture the fire that would create, mainly because I have done that as well.

"Yeah, Lafayette wasn't happy with the condition his first love came out in."

"What happened to Hercules? Was he okay?"

"What? Oh, Herc was fine. The oven is the one who suffered." I give him a confused look as he shoves another piece of cake into his mouth.

"But you said first love?"

"Laff has always had a thing with inanimate objects. He gets upset if you tease him for talking to his motorcycle. I'm pretty sure he loves Herc the most now, but his oven was all he talked about as a kid. Helps him feel connected to his dad I guess."

"That must be nice."

"Ha, I've had enough of a 'connection' with my dad to last a lifetime."

We finish eating in silence, there's nothing really to say. I get up and grab the plates, slipping them into the dishwasher. I turn around and am greeted with a hug from John.

"Can I have a kiss?"

"Of course."

I step on my tiptoes, meeting his mouth with my own. I close my eyes as he pulls me closer, slowly and gently. He pulls apart, and I can feel a hint of chocolate on my bottom lip.

"You always ask before you kiss me."

"I'm sorry, is that weird."

"No, not at all! I've just never met anyone who has."

"Neither have I."

-John POV-

"There's something I left out last night." I think back to grade 7, when I met the boy of my dreams. At least I thought he was.

He was a year older than me, and I remember walking down the hallway with him, hand in hand with Francis. It was just after Lafayette had come out as Herc's boyfriend, and I was so happy there was a boy who wanted me. 

It went well, his parents always seemed to be out, but when they were home they tolerated me a lot more than my father. I told Francis everything, he listened with an open ear and told me he'd never hurt me.

I couldn't lose him, so when he kissed me he made sure I didn't protest. I wasn't ready, I tried to pull away.

"Don't you love me John?" He looked so hurt, and I was the one doing it to him. So I let him have his way, if he wanted a kiss, he got a kiss.

But he never asked if I wanted it. He took what he wanted because he knew I loved him, knew I had no one else to turn to. It only ended when Laff saw him pinning me against the locker room wall. Francis was busy grabbing my thigh, and he didn't see the fist coming until it knocked him upside the head.

"I never saw him again, he was pretty scared of my friends after tiny Lafayette beat the shit out of him." I smile at the memory, Laff still hadn't hit puberty but the way he knocked Francis to the floor you'd think he were twice his size.

 "Herc had to pull his boyfriend off, he was the only one able to calm him down. It probably helped that Francis was unconscious at that point, Laff prefers live prey. He spent a week in suspension, we all thought Washington was going to kill him. But when we went to visit his house the day after he saved me from Francis, he was sitting outside with his parents and a tub of ice cream. 'Greater good' George had said."

If I had been suspended for a whole week, my life would have been living hell with my father. Not that it wasn't already.

"But yeah, to answer your question, I always ask because I don't want to be like Francis. I don't want to take things you aren't willing to give me."

"John, I'll make sure I ask from now on, I promise. And I'm willing to give you anything."

"Then can you give me your full trust?"

I look at Alex's confused face and laugh a little.

"You did say anything."

I grab a cloth from the cupboard and tie it around his eyes, leading him to the door. I'm careful to make sure he doesn't bump into anything as we head outside, down the block. I take off his blindfold, leaving him on the bench outside the gas station.

"Stay here and don't turn around."

-Jefferson POV-

I walk down the street, an arm around my best friends shoulder.

"Come on James, what're we gonna do today?"

We make our way past the local 711, and before we have a chance to turn the corner I feel a tugging on my coat. I expect to see some ragtag homeless man, but the person holding onto me is something much better.

"Lafayette?"

"How could you mistake me for that insignificant fag?" Truthfully, I like Lafayette, a lot. But I have a reputation to uphold and can't be seen caring for the gays. Being gay is wrong, and if you aren't one of them you are superior.

"My name is Jefferson." Nothing. Tough crowd. "Thomas Jefferson."

"Uh-huh..."

The bell rings from behind him, and James tries to pull me away from the gas station. I walk over to the man who just left the store.

"Look who's here, James, just the man we wanted to see."

I watch John shake as he stands there, practically spilling the drinks from his hands.

"We're sorry, John, for how we acted as kids." His expression begins to soften, and I give him a sincere smile. "We were terrible to you, and I wanted to apologize."

James gives an eager smile and holds his hand out to John.

"John, it's been so long, I hope you can forgive me. I was scared..." James side eyes me, and I dig my nails into his shoulder. "I'm sorry." He finishes.

"You guys mean it?"

"No."

I punch him in the stomach, watching him drop his slushees on the ground.

"But it was fun to catch up!" The small man jumps in front of me, and as he goes to charge I meet his forehead with my hand, holding him back.

"Fuck off, ya little gremlin."

I knock him to the side, into John. The tiny man holds onto what I assume is his boyfriend, who is still clutching his abdomen. They walk to the wall, holding onto each other's hands.

"Now kiss." I sneer, walking away from these pathetic losers. 

When you're on top, you do whatever you can to stay there. Life isn't fair, and you learn to deal with it or you get stepped on.

-James POV-

I sneak a glance behind me as Thomas leads me away from the couple. The smaller one is wiping flavoured ice off of John, who looks back at me. I mouth a quick 'sorry' before turning around, Thomas's nails once again gripping me tighter than comfortable.

"C'mon Jimmy James, don't go soft on me." We head up a hill, into a park surrounded by trees.

"I just don't see why we have to-"

"It's a dog eat dog world, James, we need to stay on guard. You know what happens when you trust people, don't you?"

"Yes, Thomas, I do." I wrap my arms around myself, Thomas has always made me nervous. He's always on the edge, and you never know if you'll get caring Thomas, the one who picks you up when you fall, the one who lets you copy his homework, the one who fixes your mistakes, or other Thomas.

I call this other side Jefferson, the cocky, too good for you side. The side of him that yells at you, the part of him that slaps you for defying orders.

I always thought I stuck around because I was scared of Jefferson, but it turns out I like his Thomas side more than I could ever hate his mean streak.

"James, snap out of it." I glance back up at him as he interrupts my thoughts.

"So should I wear fuchsia or magenta to the party tomorrow."

"Err, fuchsia, it brings out your eyes." He turns toward me, raising an eyebrow. 

"It does what? You look sick, Mads are you feeling okay?"

"No."

I grab onto the neck of Thomas's hoodie, closing my eyes as I smash my lips against his. 

-Alex POV-

"Who was that?"

"Jeffershit and his little friend, James Medicine."

"They seem... fun."

John lets out a snort as I wipe the last of the drink from his shin.

"If you're idea of fun is being stuffed in a locker then yes, them and Aaron are the funnest people around." I cringe at his word choice. 'Funnest' is not, and never will be a real world. Not in my book, a handwritten dictionary deciphering the English lexicon.

"Biggest bullies since preschool, biggest homophobes since grade 5."

"Well, do you want to go back and get another drink?"

-John POV-

We walk down the street, hand in hand as we sip our slurpees.

"The Schuyler sisters invited me to a party tomorrow, want to come as my plus one?"

"I'd like that."

I smile down at Alex as he gasps and holds his head.

"Did someone get a brain freeze?" He gives a nod, and I chuckle as he rubs one of his temples. I look at my watch, it's almost 2 o'clock. 

"I should probably head back soon, but my roommates and I can pick you up tomorrow if you want."

"Sounds great." He stops rubbing at his forehead and turns to face me.

"Can I have a kiss?"

So I lean down a bit, pressing my lips against his. And for the first time ever, I don't care who sees.

"Hey guys, I'm home!"

I step into the doorway, and am greeted by a quick wave from where Lafayette and Herc sit on the couch. Well, Laff sits on the couch, Hercules is on his lap with his face pressed against his boyfriend's.

 I awkwardly shuffle to my room, rooting through the closet for something to wear tomorrow. I settle on a turtleneck and some ripped jeans, good enough that I'll look decent, but not over the top like a self absorbed prick.

I feed Daveed, pulling him out of the tank so he can wander around a bit. Before setting him on the floor, I carefully tie a balloon around him so he won't get lost.

My phone vibrates, and I unlock it to read the text message.

FavouriteSchyler: you still coming tomorrow?

DrunkTurtleboi: yeah, and I found a date!

FavouriteSchyler: no way, who is it?!?

DrunkTurtleboi: guess ur gonna have to wait to find out

Tomorrow night is going to be great, my friends and my boyfriend all hanging out, together.

I don't see what could go wrong.