Alex, William, and I plan on having dinner together. Alex lobbies for takeout, so I don't have to cook for my birthday. I just want to cook something nice for the three of us. Thankfully, William steps in, telling him to chill. 

"Cat loves to cook. You telling her not to is not a way to do something nice for her on her birthday."

So Alex agrees. I'm glad because I really don't do well with all the fuss. I guess I have just gotten used to not having it. After dinner, Alex volunteers to take care of the dishes while William and I disappear into the bedroom to get me ready for tonight.

"So how's it going?" William inquires, as I show him various tops, skirts, and dresses that he either nods yes or no to. I put back a blouse William doesn't like, and without turning from the closet, I reply simply, "I told Alex I love him today."

"You did?!" William cries, with excitement in his voice. "Oh, Cat! I'm so happy for you!" As I turn around, William is right behind me. He reaches out, giving me a big hug.

I hug him back. "You don't think it's too soon?" I ask.

"Not if it's what you really feel," William reassures me.

"I do but I feel so... scared at the same time."

William's expression turns super serious, which looks really out of place on William's face. "That's when you know it's real. You found something bigger than yourself. You found love. However, finding love also means living with the fear of losing it. That's what makes it scary, but trust me, Cat, it's also what makes it worth it."

I'm immediately reminded of all that he's lost. William lost Aiden so suddenly and without warning. It's not fair. "Do you ever think you may find love again?"

William immediately shakes his head no, but then shrugs. "Who am I to say? No one knows what life holds in store for us. Maybe?"

I hug him again. "I hope you do. You deserve it and so much more."

"Thanks, Cat! Ooo!" He reaches behind me and pulls out exactly what he wants, stating emphatically, "This one, most definitely."

"I don't know. Don't you think it's a bit much?" I debate, looking at the dress that still had the tags on it.

I had loved it in the store, but I have never had the occasion to wear it. It is a black dress with off the shoulder short sleeves, a heart-shaped bodice, and a flaring mini hem skirt. It is flirty, playful and when I first put it on I felt sexy as hell, but now I can't help thinking it's too much for my outing tonight.

"Nope. It's perfect," William declares. "It's your 21st birthday. Go, celebrate and enjoy tonight, Cat. You can be all sorts of responsible tomorrow and for the rest of your life, but tonight just have a little fun," he tells me, shoving the dress in my arms and pushing me towards the bathroom.

"Once you're dressed, we'll work on the rest of you. Let's make you shine!"

Alex lets out a slow whistle when I finally step out of the bedroom.

Suddenly shy under his gaze, I ask, "It's over the top, isn't it?" I feel awkward, especially in my 4.25" black suede strapped stilettos.

"She's divine, isn't she?" William proclaims, joining Alex across the room.

"Like a living goddess," Alex agrees, but I sense a bit of hesitation. "So, what are you and the girls going to do tonight?" Alex asks.

Alex is an open book when it comes to his feelings, so I know he's worried.

"We aren't going anywhere special and there's going to be an entire group of us. So, don't worry, I'll be fine."

Alex comes up to me and caresses my bare arms. "I just can't help but wish it was me you were spending your time with tonight."

"You have her all the time. She'll be fine. She should have some fun, especially tonight," William reasons.

Alex reaches into his pocket, pulling out a little red velvet pouch, which he holds out to me. "Happy Birthday, Cat."

"You didn't have to..." I begin, but I know it's useless finishing the sentence. I open the pouch and pour out into my hand a gold necklace with a small heart charm that says, "I love you" on the front and on the back is today's date. Tears fill my eyes. It's so beautiful, and thoughtful, and romantic. I'm speechless.

"May I?" Alex asks. I just nod. He takes the chain from my hand, coming to stand behind me as he opens the clasp. He reaches over my head and I hold up my hair so he can fasten it around my neck.

My hand comes up to rest on it. "Thank you," I say sincerely. "It's beautiful."

Alex turns me around in his arms. "Not nearly as beautiful as you."

"Get a room, you two," William quips as Alex kisses me, but I don't want him ever to let me go.

"Sorry, forgot you were here," Alex teases.

"That's obvious," William replies, sounding bored. "Breeders."

Alex laughs.

William grins in return. "You ready to go, Cat?"

"Go?" Alex asks, looking at his watch. "Already?"

"I thought it might be easier to meet Olivia at the sorority house and William has offered to drive me there. Olivia will bring me home. I'm usually the designated driver for the girls, but tonight she promises not to drink either."

Alex still hasn't let me go, and I love being in his arms. "Well, have a good night tonight, Cat. See you in the a.m."

"Stay safe," I tell him.

"You too." Alex gives me another kiss, this time to say goodbye.

I can't help but think if I had only one birthday wish, it would be for Alex to have the night off, so I could skip going out with the girls, and instead, he and I would spend tonight together cuddled up on the sofa watching Anime.

"Alex looks worried," I say as I climb into William's car.

"Alex always worries. That's the hazard of being Alex, I suppose," William replies.

"He's never had it easy, Cat. His parents always held him up as an example of what Aiden should be. Aiden knew he was different and celebrated those differences in private, but having his mirror image walking around, able to be everything his parents wanted. Everything he could never be... well, it put a real wedge between them, hurting Alex immensely."

"When Aiden turned 18, he decided he had enough of hiding who he really was and told his parents. They weren't kind. They said that Aiden was dead to them. That they didn't care what he did because they had Alex. Aiden could be or do whatever he wished, only he could no longer do so under their roof."

"That's horrible! What did Alex do?" I ask.

"When he found out, he was furious. He had already registered for college so he called me to find out where Aiden was, knowing I'd know since Aiden and I were normally inseparable."

"My mom loved Aiden. She was totally okay with him staying with us, but I knew I'd be leaving soon, having also preregistered for school. I couldn't afford an apartment, even if we split the rent. They already assigned my dorm on campus, so there was no way for Aiden to stay with me. To make matters worse, although my mom was fine with Aiden, my dad wasn't. My dad barely tolerated me being gay, so I knew Aiden couldn't stay there."

"Alex came over. Aiden didn't want to see him at first, but I talked him into it. Alex told Aiden that when he found out what their parents had done, he told them to consider them both dead. He left that night. Alex told Aiden they would get an apartment together and Alex has never spoken to his parents again."

I struggle to hold back my tears. To lose so much at nineteen, I can't even imagine. Despite the many difficulties I have had with my family, I still know they love me. The intolerance Aiden endured and the heartbreak both Alex and Aiden suffered are just so wrong.

"What about the funeral?"

William shakes his head. "Alex knew the hospital notified his parents. They never contacted him, so it was up to Alex and me to handle everything. To my ever-loving shame, I was too distraught, leaving everything for Alex to handle, which he did without complaint. He took care of everything, including me."

That doesn't surprise me, considering how William was when we first met. But poor Alex had no one to lean on in his grief, not even William. No wonder Alex was afraid of losing William during that time. William was the only family he had left. I suddenly recall Alex's dream becoming about me and my heart breaks for him even more.

"Thanks for telling me," I say to William, grateful that he shared this with me. "I know it's hard for you to talk about the past."

"I'm actually glad you know everything now, Cat. It feels good to talk to you about it. I really only had Alex, and I never liked to bring it up because it was just too raw for both of us."

"I hope you know you can always talk to me about anything. That won't ever change."

William smiles at me. "We're here." He pulls up in front of the Chi Omega Sorority House.

Olivia comes running outside. "You're here! Happy Birthday!" she cries, giving me an enormous hug the moment I step out of the car.

"I see you are in expert hands. Have a glorious night, Cat." 

"Hey, thanks, William. You rock," Olivia tells him.

"Goodbye, William," I say, blowing him a kiss as he drives away and Olivia pulls me into the house.

"Girl, where did you get that dress?!" Olivia asks.

"I found it on clearance," I reply honestly, and she laughs at me. "Only you would give that as your response."

"Well, why not? It's true," I say, smiling.

"Okay, the gang's all here. We are going to a dance club first and then to a new ladies' club, which Jenny told us about. None of us have been there before, but she swears she heard from a friend of hers that there are some real hotties there."

"We are seriously going to a place that Jenny recommends?" I ask, now concerned for a completely different reason.

"Don't worry, I checked it out. It's a really nice place. Not a dive. More high class. It's gotten great reviews online." Olivia assures me.

"Okay," I say hesitantly.

"Cat!" Several of the girls holler, racing down the stairs to exchange hugs all around. It is good to be around them again.

"Cat, how are you?" Jenny says, all smiles as she air kisses my cheeks. I don't recall seeing her with the rest, so she must have just arrived.

"Never better," I say, trying not to cringe.

"So happy to hear it. Tonight should be fun."

"I'm sure it will be," I reply, but I get this nervous feeling in my stomach. She's far too cheerful and I don't like it.

We all split up, so I'm riding with Olivia, while Jenny is thankfully in another car. That puts me a little more at ease. Three more girls are in the back seat, giggling as they use their phones to take selfies and most likely update their status on their social networks.

Again, it strikes me how far removed I feel from the whole scenario. I feel displaced. This is just not my world anymore.

"What's the face about?" Olivia asks, looking over at me.

"Sorry, a lot on my mind recently," I say, toying with the necklace Alex gave me, wishing he was here.

"I know it's a lot. It shocked me when I heard, but I'm proud of you. You handled yourself great just now."

I blink a few times because I know I am missing something. "What do you mean?" I ask.

"With Jenny. I can't imagine how you must feel knowing she's now rooming with Liam. I would have lost my mind. You're so much better than me at handling this sort of thing. I didn't want to invite her, but I had to since she is still part of the sorority."

"Then she mentions the new place and I immediately assume she is trying to pull a stunt, but when I saw for myself how nice the place is, I'm guessing she may have turned over a new leaf. You know, since she's finally got what she's always wanted."

The more Olivia talks, the more my stomach twists into a knot. Liam and Jenny? Oh, hell no! Not that I care if Liam dates again. He can do whatever he wants, but I just shudder at the thought. What if they become serious? That would mean Jenny may not only become a permanent part of my life, but may also possibly become my child's step-parent. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Okay, Cat. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

"You okay?" Olivia asks. "You're looking a little pale." Her eyes go wide as she stammers, "Oh, my God! I did it again, haven't I? You didn't know?"

I shake my head, No.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," Olivia admonishes herself. "And on your birthday." Olivia is crestfallen. "I am the worst friend ever."

I reach out to her. "Don't you ever say that! You're the only one that tells me the truth." I have seen Liam and have spoken with him a few times over the last month. He had returned my money, telling me he found a new roommate, but he neglected to share with whom he is now rooming.

"It's fine, really. Liam and I are in a good spot now and he can date whomever he wants," I reassure her, hoping I sound convincing.

"Well, with her personality, I can't imagine it will last long."

I do hope Olivia is right.

"What about you?" Olivia asks.

"Me?"

"Yeah, when are you going to get back out there?"

"Who's to say I haven't?" I respond, grinning at Olivia mischievously.

"You've met someone? Spill it. I want details."

I shake my head. "Nope, not yet. I want to keep this one close for a little while longer, just to be certain."

"Whoever he is, if he's responsible for that smile you're wearing right now, I want to meet him to give him a huge hug," Olivia declares, and her comment makes me giggle. Alex really is the reason I smile daily. He makes me so happy.

"Maybe you'll get the chance. Someday," I tease.