Songs of the chapter:

Come As You Are - Nirvana

Titanium - David Guetta

One Hundred - Hands Like Houses

-

"CAMERON?!" I screamed, seeing my brown haired brown eyed ex boyfriend laying next to me. I fell out of the bed, taking the blanket with me and leaving Cameron butt naked.

"WHAT?!" He screamed, jolting awake.

"Oh god put some clothes on" I closed my eyes, not wanting to see anything, even though I probably saw enough last night. Wait, what the hell happened last night?

"Hey, you pushed me onto the bed and started kissing me" Cameron defended himself.

"I don't remember anything" I held my head in my hands as I sat on the floor. After I fell I was too lazy to get up so I just sat on the floor.

"You were drunk...." Cameron started to explain everything but I sternly cut him off.

"Wait wait wait, you took advantage of me? WHILE I WAS DRUNK?!" I screamed.

"Yeah, what's the big deal?" He asked.

"You raped me!" I said. "Taking advantage of a woman who's drunk is rape!"

"Woah woah woah, I didn't rape you. Tell anyone and I'll deny everything."

"Why?" I asked as I held the blanket around me, tears streaming down my face.

"I need you back in my life and without you I'm nothing. I flew here and snuck into the party once I heard Jack was throwing one." Cameron said.

"You just raped me, and you say this bullshit to me? GET OUT!" I pointed to the bedroom door.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Do you want me to call the cops?" I said.

"Fine, I'll leave. But tell ANYONE, and I'll deny everything and have my lawyers sue your sorry ass!" Cameron walked out, slamming my door behind him.

I was still only in a blanket as I walked to Jacks room. He was fast asleep. I looked out the window and saw only Jack's car, meaning his parents were gone too.

I know what I needed to do.

I showered, feeling disgusted from the events that took place last night and this morning, and put my hair in a pony tail. I didn't put any make up and threw on a pair of jeans, a shirt, a jacket, and a pair of combat boots.

I grabbed my phone and my purse and took Jack's car keys. I went outside, got in his car, and drove to the nearest church.

-

I walked in and no one was there. I went to a bench in the middle, sitting down and then kneeling on one of the pull out things that you kneel on. (A/N if you go to church or whatever you'll know what I'm talking about.)

I put my hands together and leaned them on my forehead.

"I'm so sorry." I started, already feeling tears come out of my eyes. "I never wanted any of this to happen. I'm taking advantage of everything I have. I'm an awful person."

I paused, thinking I heard something, but continued.

"God I haven't been to church since I was little. Since my dad was still here." More tears came down my face as I remembered my dad and all the memories we had together. "I know I need to change. It's just that it's hard. I'm trying. I know that I need to try harder. And I will.

I stood up, kneeled at the end of the bench, and left.

-

So you know how I was supposed to meet the guys at reality dance in NY? yeah well they cancelled the show, didn't email my dad, and we drove 4 hours for nothing. Then it was 4 hours back. And my dad spent all the gas money and I felt so bad. I hate the people who made that show. They're scum. They cancelled the show for no reason. Just to do a better show in New Jersey.

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. Life is hard. And nothing ever ends up going my way and I've accepted that.

I've been friend zoned/rejected 4 times since I've updated last.... wow I'm ugly 😂

Anywaysssss bye ilyyyy