Which will you go for? Which will you love,

Which will you choose , from the stars above?

Which Will - N.Drake

. . .

"I don't really know many songs, I just play bits here and there." Noah had modestly told me as I watched him delicately pick the strings on a battered guitar, his head bowed tentatively.

Sitting crossed legged on his unmade bed and admiring his timid playing, I thought about how surreal the day had been.

In retrospect, anything would was been an improvement and welcome change to my days spent alone courting boredom, yet I hadn't quite predicted the fact I would end the evening sitting in his room, admiring the way he played and how lovely it was.

If only all my days could end the same way.

Noah had after some persuading on my part, agreed to play me something on the guitar that rested against his desk. He told me that he hadn't picked it up in a while and apologised in his words for 'likely messing it up all'.

Twisting the pegs and gently tuning the strings lower, with his ear dropped down as he did so, I'd crossed my legs and patiently waited for him to begin.

Leaning against the large window pane, he'd nervously told me how he knew one song to play, one that he'd learnt in an effort to apparently avoid having to play Amazing Grace every day, during a stint at a church summer camp a few years ago.

With a shy smile escaping his lips, he'd mumbled that he hadn't played in front of anyone in a while and how I'd likely be disappointed.

He'd been wrong though because with every gentle strum he stole away my ability to breath and captivated my attention to the point where as he finished, I asked him to play another.

I liked the way his face twisted, lost in concentration and the rhythm and how he unconsciously bit his bottom lip as he played.

As each note swirled and overlapped into the next, I watched him become more confident, playing a little louder, a little faster and eventually with a smile on his face.

Jokingly he bowed when he'd finished and quickly put the guitar back in its place, his cheeks lightly flushed.

He joined me on the unmade bed perching cautiously on the edge of it, propping himself up against the cushions that were scattered between us. It was only then I'd become aware of just how comfortable I'd made myself on his sheets.

Although it hadn't surprised me that I'd felt more at home, in his room and on his bed than I did in my own. When he'd shown me in, switching on a small bed lamp and the paper light lanterns that hung across shelves stacked with books, I'd found myself admiring just how, Noah it all was.

Flannel shirts were neatly folded over a wooden chair in the corner of the small room, and posters stuck to the walls - of obscure bands I'd not recognised or heard before. A pair of worn out trainers sat underneath the window seal and a tiny potted cactus on top of it.

Lost in admiring all his possessions and the place he called home, Noah softly snapped me out of my daze and apologised for the messy state of the bed.

"As you can see I forgot to make it this morning, because I wasn't expecting anyone to uh, be here." he mumbled, a shy smile escaping his lips as he fiddled with the cuffs of his shirt. Something I noticed he did a lot.

My mind had a way of storing away details like that - along with the way he always looked down if I complimented him or how he'd self-consciously brush at the scar on his left cheek. All of it just added to how much I liked knowing him.

I liked how he could be upbeat and bold one minute, but timid and shy the next, with hints of something deep and meaningful beneath the mop of hair that fell into his eyes no matter how many times he'd try to sweep it away.

My Mom had always said the blushes that haunted my own cheeks were not endearing or cute and how it made people around me feel uncomfortable when it happened.

I realised, as I watched him that she was wrong, because I felt more relaxed and comfortable in Noah's presence when he was that way. I found it charming and cute.

I hoped he felt the same about me too but I didn't have the courage to ask him if he did.

"Thanks for not heckling during my butchering of that classic song." he laughed, as we sat together, the cushions acting as a barrier between our thighs. "I royally fucked it up in the middle section."

"If you did, then I hadn't even noticed because you were that good." I assured him, hoping he'd notice how I'd emphasised the last word.

"Do you play anything?" Noah enquired.

"Used to play piano when I was about eight, for a couple of weeks until my Mom couldn't stand my own butchering of Edelweiss and sold it." I confessed, remembering how mad I'd been at her, and disappointed at how quickly she'd given up on me.

"I'm sure you weren't that bad but I can't lie - that song is annoying even when it's played properly." he said jokingly, his brown eyes wide to match his grin.

"You're right, but honestly hand on heart you play really well. If I didn't have the sense to know that I'm not really the musical type then I'd ask you to teach me something." I let the words slip out before wishing to take them back, I hadn't meant to sound like I might have actually wanted him to.

"I can teach you some basic chords if you want." Noah offered, looking over at his guitar.

"No, it's alright." I countered back, certain that I didn't want to. "I don't even have the patience to hear myself play, so I'll spare you the hassle."

"Okay." Noah replied, his voice soft but quiet as if I'd offended him by declining the offer. "Maybe another day then."

Silence joined the cushions between us, as I racked my brains for a way to gain back his friendly conversation. Thankfully, he seemed still happy to ask me what time I needed to be home by.

"I don't have a curfew if that's what you asking." I said, amused that he had thought I might.

"Just checking." Noah smiled back, ruffling his hair.

"Although it is getting pretty dark now so I should probably head back soon." It had pained me to say it, but I also didn't want to be walking back too late into night even though I so badly wanted to savour every last minute of the day left in his company.

Bringing his knees up to his chest, and resting his head against the cold wall he softly said. "I'm sorry that tonight hasn't been... that exciting."

"Huh?"

"I don't know, I just think that spending your evening with a bunch of strangers and with another one, here-" he said quietly, picking at the bed covers. "Isn't probably that fun. I'd ask you to stay and watch a film, or something but I don't even have a television."

My Mom really had been so wrong, I thought as Noah spoke.

I'd take endearing and humble any day, if this was how it made feel.

"Don't be stupid." I joked. "I never have anything to do, you'll soon learn that I lead a pretty dull life. Today, at the beach and at dinner, and even now it's all been fun. Probably the most fun I've had since moving here."

"Really?"

"Trust me."

"I do."

Noah eyes were still on me again and they were captivating, I wondered if he realised just how adorable he was. From my short time knowing him, I doubted it because along with endearing he'd also mastered the art of being humble and modest too.

"Should we get going then?' he asked, already putting his knees back down.

Checking the time on my watch, the minutes betraying my wish for it to still be early, I nodded and got up.

"You want to borrow a jacket or something for the ride home?" Noah said, lifting a navy beanie hat from the dresser and sliding it over his head.

I liked the way it made his hair stick out, over his ears and across his eyes although I wasn't sure why he was needed to wear it, especially when it was still warm outside.

"I'll be okay, it's not that far to walk." I said before realising he'd said for the ride home. Not for my walk home.

"Ride?" I repeated back to him.

"Yeah, we can take my bike." Noah replied. "You'll have to get on the back but I'd rather know that you got home ok than have you walk the streets alone."

. . .

As Noah led me out back into the now dark hallway, and to the side of the house where his bike was, I saw a jumper slung over his shoulder.

Removing the lock and setting it down, he passed it to me and said here you go, just in case.

Getting on the back of the bicycle, my feet only just reaching the back pegs, I pulled the jumper over my head and tucked my hair back. Noah looked over his shoulder and smiled.

"Do I look silly?" I sighed, the long sleeves swamping my arms.

"It suits you." he said softly before checking I was firmly on board and not about to fall off.

Riding through the town at night was quite breath taking, as we cut through the night air, up sloped dark streets and dimly lit corners.

As the canopy of stars lit the way, Noah again pointed out the different names for each. I'd worried that maybe it wasn't the best idea to ride with only one hand as he did, but he managed it skilfully.

Taking a short cut through a narrow drive, Noah told me why the stars fascinated him so much.

"The light from stars takes millions of years to reach Earth." he explained softly. "Therefore, when you or I look up at them it's literally like looking back in time."

If I could have bottled his words and the way he looked back at me as he spoke, I would have. It was a moment I knew I'd want to remember for all my days, to look back upon like the stars, my own way of going back in time and reliving the night that was quickly slipping away.

"I like the way you explain things Noah." I whispered, close to his hear so he would hear me. "Usually stuff like that goes over my head, but somehow with you it sticks - I feel smarter already." I finished, hoping he'd continue to educate me on what lay above and beyond us.

The rest of the short journey back Noah had honoured my request and by the time we reached the lawn of the bungalow, I knew more about stars and constellations and how each were held by their own gravity - something else Noah also found fascinating.

Struggling to get out of the jumper he'd kindly loaned me he told me I could keep it for now.

"No it's okay, you'll probably never get it back if I do or Poppy will find it and turn it pink in the wash." I tried to joke, because as lovely as it was to be caressed by something of his, I knew that it was too early to be doing that, with him, and his stuff.

"Alright, well it was great to see you again today and hang out." Noah said, folding the returned jumper over the handlebars. "And thank you for keeping a straight face whilst I played earlier."

"Thank you for inviting me, and for dinner and for a wonderful performance." I whispered, hoping my genuine appreciation was clear.

I found myself in the same exact spot, since the last time I'd seen him and it was to end the same way, I promised as I recited the word  f r i e n d s  to myself.

Stepping back from him, I thanked him again for getting me home and made my way up to the porch.

"Next time, I'll play something better I swear." Noah said quietly laughing, his eyes wide. "It'll be like you're listening to Bob Dylan!"

"I don't know who that is." I called back.

"Okay well like Nick Drake then."

"Nope, I don't know him either." I shrugged, watching Noah's face distort in disbelief.

"Wow, okay well maybe we need to cut back on the impromptu science lessons and get you up to speed musically, because you're really missing out." he said jokingly, rubbing the top of his head still apparently in shock at my lack of musical insight.

"Okay." I nodded back, key ready in the front door. "I look forward to it."

As he gave the same shy, endearing smile that had almost become his trademark, I waved and disappeared inside, leaving the boy who had warmed my heart for the night, outside in the cold and under the stars.

. . .