Chapter 34

Us / Tayo

Fatima fiddled with her fingers, slightly nervous. Puno na ng tao ang coffee shop kung saan siya naghihintay, and that didn't help to calm her nerves. But it was a necessary decision that she and Jacob meet at a public place instead of her apartment, mostly because Rigo was there. Ayaw na niyang magkaroon ng pagkakataon para magkita ang dalawa. At least not for now.

She checked her wristwatch. Five minutes na itong late, and for once, Fatima didn't mind. It gave her the time to think without his presence hounding her. It's only been a couple of weeks since his visit that didn't end well, and she didn't know how he would take her decision this soon.

Nabaling ang atensiyon niya nang bumukas ang glass door at pumasok ito. He was dressed in a more casual fit, nothing too flashy, which is already a good sign. As soon as their eyes met, Jacob walked past a group of people in line and went to sit in front of her at a small table in the corner of the spacious place.

"Hi," he greeted her with a tentative smile. He looked more relaxed than he had been since he came back not long ago. "Sorry, natagalan ako maghanap ng parking."

Tumingin ito sa gilid niya, as if looking for her daughter, so Fatima immediately shook her head. "Nasa bahay si Clemie. Hindi ko muna ginagala kasi kagagaling lang sa sakit."

"Oh," he said, his shoulders deflating a little. "I hope she's well."

Fatima nodded, acknowledging his concern before pushing the cup of coffee towards him. Black, no sugar. Bumaba ang tingin nito sa kape bago muling tumingin sa kanya. "You remembered." Of course, she did. Madalas itong umorder ng kape nilang dalawa no'ng magkasama pa sila, just two college student deprived of sleep, studying until the wee hours of the morning. Together.

There was history between them, and there will always be. But she was done making it the center of her life, at ayaw din niyang maging sentro ito ng buhay ng anak niya. She wanted Clementine to live seeing her biological parents speak to each other like normal people, to compromise for her well-being, and to respect each other's personal lives. And she knew that this was the first step.

"I want to talk about Clemie," she started and straightened her back.

Tumango ito bago humigop ng kape. His face didn't give way to any emotion other than calm, and it was more than what she could ever want-to talk to him amicably, to not be at the receiving end of his anger. "I know."

So he was expecting it, Fatima realized. "Papayagan ko na dumalaw o makipagkita ka sa 'min once a month. Once." Her fingers picked on the lone tissue paper that was given at the counter. "And we're doing it on my terms, meaning hindi mo pwedeng hiramin o kuhanin sa 'kin si Clemie. You can bring her anything you want, but consult me first. Baka allergic siya."

Jacob kept his eyes on the steaming hot mug of coffee, so Fatima stared at him, waiting for a reaction-for his anger to come. But it never did. It's like he knows that at some point, this will happen. "How-how about the financial help? Do we split? Pa'no ko-"

"No," she stopped him from using that again. For the longest time, money was his only leverage against her. Ito ang laban niya dahil mas kaya niyang buhayin ang anak nila. Ito ang punto ng nanay niya para piliin si Jacob. It was what made things complicated. "Ibigay mo sa kanya 'yong bukal sa loob mo dahil hindi kita pipiliting magbigay. I'm more than capable of raising her." She wanted to tell him that they-her and Rigo-were more than capable of giving Clemie the life she deserves, but she wasn't trying to build friction between them, especially if he was constantly going to be a figure in Clementine's life.

He swallowed hard and met her eyes. "I'm allowed to see her once a month? The whole day?"

She nodded and gave him a tight smile, feeling a pinch in her heart when she saw the profound resignation in his eyes. "And one more thing," she paused, her heart pounding against her ribcage. "Kapag malaki na siya, she gets to decide kung gusto ka niyang makita. That's her decision, not ours."

It was one of the things she wanted her daughter to know-that she is fully capable of telling them whether she wanted to continue seeing her father. It was now Jacob's choice if he's going to give her a good reason to stay. If he wanted Clementine to see him as her father-one who is present, kind, understanding, and patient-he needed to make a conscious effort and not just buy his way into her heart. He needed to be a parent.

Ibinaling nito ang tingin sa labas at matagal na natahimik. His index finger played with the rim of the mug, and Fatima was more than willing to let the decision sit on his shoulders for a little while. How he'll accept this change will spell the difference in their relationship as co-parents of their daughter.

After a while, he turned to her again, his lips pressed into a thin line. "I'll try to be better at-at this. Kasi gusto ko siyang makita."

Fatima learned to never count on him. He'd done too much leaving, he'd broken his promises countless times. But she knew that eventually, Clementine would, so for her sake, she shifted her weight and leaned her back on the chair, before smiling a little. "That's good."

"Fatima," he licked his lips. "Thank you."

She gingerly grabbed her bag, fastening it on her shoulders, before she stood up. "I'll see you next time, Jacob."

For the first time in their recent encounters, Jacob let her walk away without saying another word.

☂

"Rigo? Mahal?" Fatima called out as she untied the straps of her sandals. Isang oras siyang nagtagal dahil traffic na nang matapos sila ni Jacob na mag-usap. Rigo was left with Clemie dahil wala naman itong pasok, and they were also preparing for a small gathering dahil hindi pa sila nakakapag-bisita magmula nung lumipat sila sa apartment. Fatima called Jachin, Evie, and Abe to join them for lunch habang si Rigo naman ay inimbita ang mga magulang niya.

"Nasa kusina!" Rigo answered from farther inside. Sa amoy ng kusina, mukhang nagluluto ito ng specialty niyang lasagna. Lately, he'd been experimenting on it. Trying out different ways to cook it, and best of all, naglagay na ito ng matagal na niyang hinihiling na bechamel sauce. Although, she wasn't keen on telling anyone what she did to earn that.

Fatima's feet guided her towards the living area where Clemie was on her crib and babbling at the toys that were dangling from above her. She was still within Rigo's vision kaya nahuli niya itong ngumiti nang lapitan niya ang anak. "Kanina pa kami naglalaro ni diday kaya muntik na masunog niluluto ko."

She bent down and placed a soft kiss on her daughter's forehead before she walked to where Rigo was standing in the kitchen, an orange apron wrapped around his torso. His back was on her, his arms straining from the effort from mixing whatever he was cooking on the stove. Fatima didn't think twice before she wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin on his back. "Hi. Nagluluto ka na ng lasagna?"

His hand immediately went to touch her arm. "Yeah, lunch time sabi natin 'di ba?" Dahan-dahang itong humarap sa kanya at pinatakan siya ng halik sa labi. Soft and reassuring, like he was telling her that he'd be exactly where she left him when she came home. A constant figure in her life. "Nakapag-usap kayo?"

"Mm-hmm," Fatima nuzzled her nose on his chest, gently inhaling his scent-a mixture of clean fabric and his minty body soap. "Saglit lang din. I didn't want to spend another minute with him kung hindi naman kailangan." Saying it was like assuring Rigo that he didn't have to worry about her relationship with Jacob anymore.

"Pumayag naman siya?"

"Yeah," she quipped and raised her head to look him in the eye. Kusang umangat ang kamay niya para haplusin ang mukha nito, her fingers absentmindedly pressing on the side of his face. "But he did ask about the financial part of the arrangement. Sabi ko naman, kung magbibigay siya dapat 'yong gusto niya talaga. You and I are more than capable of raising Clemie."

"Buti hindi pinilit na naman sa 'yo 'yong sandamakmak niyang pera." Kumalas si Rigo sa pagkakayakap at mabilis na pinatay ang apoy ng niluluto niya. He wiped his hand with a towel and oddly, Fatima found that very attractive. Those hands were the star of her dreams-digging on her hips and legs or pulling on her hair-but most nights Rigo made it her reality.

Rigo stopped and turned to her, bending his head. "Mahal?"

"You know what, what if mag-cancel na lang tayo ng housewarming?" She stood up and reached for her phone, but Rigo was quick to push it where her arms fell short.

"Bakit muna?" kunot-noo nitong tanong, but his eyes held a glint of mischief. Wasn't it obvious?

"Kasi-" Fatima let out a harsh breath between her lips. "Kasi. . . Whatever! Nevermind. Papakainin ko pa si Clemie." She bolted from her seat but not before she heard Rigo's laugh. Alam naman pala nito, gusto pang sabihin niya! Women are creatures of not-having-to-ask, and Rigo was close to failing. Kung teacher lamang siya ay bibigyan niya agad ito ng tres.

☂

Shock registered on her face, morphing her expression into disbelief when her mother appeared on their doorstep. "Ma?" She opened the door a little, mainly because Rigo was standing behind her, holding Clementine in his arms, as surprised as she was at the sudden visit of her mother. "Okay ka lang? May nangyari ba?"

Her mother's eyes narrowed, clearly insulted at the idea of something coming up in her life as a reason for her to visit. "Naisipan ko lang bumisita. Malapit na rin kasi akong umalis. . . are you busy?" she asked as her eyes flickered to Rigo and then back to her.

Before Fatima could open her mouth and make excuses to avoid sharing a common space with her mother, Rigo had already pulled the door open even wider to let her mother in. "Hindi po. Sakto kayo kasi may mga bisita rin kaming parating para kumain." Fatima glanced at him and just as she was expecting, may malaking ngiti na sa mga labi nito na parang nakalimutan na ang sinabi ng nanay niya noon. "Parang housewarming na rin po."

Nang makapasok ang nanay niya ay mataman niyang tinitigan si Rigo, saying with her eyes that this was probably a bad idea. But he didn't budge, and instead pointed with his lips towards the direction of where her mother was walking. "Minsan lang bumisita si Tita. Let's not turn her away."

Rigo was many things, but being unkind was not one of them.

Fatima sucked in a breath before she finally gave in and nodded, and just the same, he rewarded her with a blinding smile. Happiness truly looks good on him, and she was glad that she was one of the people who he gladly shows it to. Even if he was stubborn most of the time.

Mabilis na tumakbo ang oras habang naghahanda sila sa pagdating ng mga kaibigan nila. Meanwhile, Fatima watched her mother carry Clementine in her arms for the first time since she was born. She looked at her granddaughter like she was a fragile thing and with so much love present in her eyes. Pinanood niya itong maging nanay ulit and her heart soared as her mind jogged up all the memories that she had with her mother when she was young.

Lumingon sa kanya ang ina niya habang marahang hinehele si Clemie. Her daughter's eyes fluttered close immediately dahil natatamaan din ito ng hangin mula sa ceiling fan. This little antukin. "Are you breastfeeding? Ang laki ng gain ng weight niya."

"I am," she quipped and reached for her baby's arm. Nag-mukha na itong rolls ng pandesal sa daming umbok, but she was still within a healthy weight according to her pedia kaya mas lalo siyang natuwa. "Thankfully I'm producing milk. Sinunod ko po 'yong sinabi mo na palaging uminom ng tubig at mag-gulay."

Her mother's eyes stilled as she stared at her, before the corners of her eyes wrinkled. "That's good. You keep that up." Fatima still felt the deep cut pulsing between them, a wound that would take time to heal, but if her mother was making an effort to mend their relationship, then maybe she should also try.

"Gusto ko rin po sanang mag-donate kasi sobra sobra na. Hindi na kasya sa freezer lahat." Fatima mentioned, noting in her head that she probably needed to buy a bigger fridge soon.

"Really? Sige, I'll ask sa mga kumare ko baka may anak silang may kailangan."

Fatima didn't want to admit it, but she did miss her mother's smile. Throughout her high school and college life, madalang silang magkita, and even then, their relationship was muddled with misunderstandings and the lack of proper communication.

Naputol ang pag-uusap nila nang may kumatok ulit at nang pagbuksan ni Rigo ay narinig agad niya ang maingay na boses ni Jachin. "Pwede nang mag-alak si Fatima!" he hooted loudly as soon as he was one step inside the apartment and waved the big bottle of Black Label for everyone to see.

"Huy!" Rigo grabbed his arm the same time Evie's eyes widened and pulled his arm down by his sleeves. "Bub, stop!"

Napatigil si Jachin nang makita ang nanay ni Fatima. "Ay, sorry po." A sheepish smile blossomed on his lips when Fatima pinned him with a glare. Napakagulo talaga.

Rigo pushed their friends towards the kitchen, with Abe slowly trailing behind them. Ngumiti ito kay Fatima at inangat ang hawak na box ng cake. She returned his smile with her own, grateful to see him more relaxed than he was the other day. And for once, hindi ito naka-uniform at mukhang walang tulog.

When Rigo's parents arrived an hour later, the place quickly became a proper gathering. Inilabas na niya ang mga pinggan para makakain na sila, and unwrapped the seafood boil and whole pork belly that they ordered. Rigo broiled his lasagna quickly before he placed it on top of the kitchen counter and beside the other dishes.

"Mukhang magkasundo na si Mama at Tita," Rigo whispered beside her habang pinagtutulungan nilang hiwain ang pork belly. "'Di na matigil ang chismisan." Fatima's gaze flew to the living room area where his mother sat beside Rigo's parents. Kausap nito ang dalawa at base sa ngiti ng nanay ni Rigo ay nagkakasundo ang mga ito. Meanwhile, their friends gathered near Clemie's crib, playing with her while they were busy.

"I'm glad because you know. . ." she trailed off and pulled her lips between her teeth, suddenly feeling embarrassed. She let her hair fall on the side of her face to cover her cheeks heating up. "Eventually-eventually magpapakasal tayo and-and kailangan nilang magkasundo."

Nang lumingon siya kay Rigo ay may malaking ngiti na sa mga labi nito. "Kasal?"

"Ayaw mo ba? Sige, 'wag na." Binitawan niya ang pinggan na hawak para sana lagyan ni Rigo ng chopped meat kaya naman malakas itong tumawa bago inabot ang mga kamay niya. He kissed the back of her palms, stretching the seconds that his lips were on her skin.

"Joke lang naman. I want to get married to you someday too."

Inangat niya ang tingin niya para salubungin ang mga mata nito, a sparkle dancing around his eyes. "Someday."

Their friends' laughter erupted from somewhere in the small space that they now share, and Fatima vaguely registered her mother calling her name, and maybe Rigo's parents too. But all her mind and heart could focus on was Rigo, and when he bent his head closer to her, when he nuzzled his nose against her cheeks, her heart pounded with contentment. "Someday."

He dipped his head to reach for lips, but was pulled out of their moment by the loudest voice in the room. "Lovebirds, hanap na kayo ng anak n'yo!" Fatima heard Jachin, followed by Clemie's cries. Malamang ay pinagtrip-an na naman ito ng ninong niya.

Rigo sighed and pressed his forehead against hers. "Hinding hindi ko na ulit iimbitahin si Jachin." A laughter bubbled out of Fatima's chest, and she quickly stood on her tippy toes to give him a quick kiss.

"Come on, hanap na tayo ni Clemie."

Rigo smiled and reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly against his palm, the warmth of him seeping through-a reassurance that that someday will come too.

- END -

Hi, thank you for reaching the end of Someday Soon! It's my first completed narrative after four years of writing, so you can just imagine how overwhelming this all feels.

But as a thank you gift, I had this commissioned to remember this little family by. I hope you enjoyed their story as much as I did, all things considered! ☻

Artwork by jelayarts on X