Chapter 26

Raia Clementine

Rigo held on to his mask tightly as he stood unmoving near Fatima’s bed. Her baby’s first cry echoed throughout the room and straight to his heart. The loveliest sound he’d ever had the privilege to hear.

His eyes zeroed in on Fatima who was crying, her gaze following her baby across the room as the nurses wiped her. Patuloy ang pag-iyak nito hanggang sa marahang ilapag siya sa dibdib ni Fatima.

Only then did she stop crying.

Jacob crowded the two and cooed at their baby, before he gently wiped Fatima’s forehead. Hindi ito umalis sa tabi ni Fatima magmula ng dalhin ito sa delivery room, and even now, Rigo knew that he was going to stay.

He couldn’t help but feel his heart crumple inside his chest at the image. A whole family. As it should be. This was what their baby deserved.

Ano bang karapatan niya para manghimasok at guluhin ang mga ito?

When the doctor was done, she finally turned off the big light and only then did Fatima see him. She immediately stretched her free hand, the one that wasn’t holding her newborn baby, to reach for him. Humakbang siya at sinalo ang kamay nito, his gloved palm against her bare skin.

“Ang ganda ganda niya,” Rigo paused, his eyes fleeting to look at her baby. Pulang pula ito at nakapikit, but even then, Rigo knew that she was something sort of an angel.

“Rigo. . . she’s here. . .” Fatima mumbled over the haze of exhaustion. She was clearly clinging onto her last ounce of energy and the relief that she was able to do it.

Rigo smiled and gripped her hand tighter. “I told you. Kayang-kaya mo.” He bent down to catch his own breath, and to gently touch the back of the small little human being on top of her chest.

“Dahil sa sinabi mo—” Fatima was cut off when the nurse approached them.

“Ma’am, we’d have to request for everyone to exit the room para po madala ka namin sa kwarto mo.”

Rigo stood straight and nodded, ramdam niyang nasa likod niya si Jacob pero hindi niya ito pinansin. He can talk shit about him, but he wasn’t going to let him ruin this.

“Si Clemie—” Fatima hesitated to give the nurse her baby and glanced at Rigo.

“Ako nang bahala. I’ll make sure she’s okay.” Rigo squeezed her hand to reassure her.

“I know you will,” Fatima pulled the hem of his shirt, so he leaned down. “Her name is Raia Clementine.”

Raia Clementine.

The corner of Fatima’s lips stretched in a tired smile. “I. . . I wanted the R to represent your name.”

Dumagundong ang puso niya. A stutter. A missed beat. I wanted the R to represent your name. He squeezed his eyes shut and let his forehead fall on hers. Pumikit ito at ngumiti habang parang halos sasabog na ang puso niya sa sinabi nito. “Raia Clementine.”

Fatima allowed herself to be wheeled back to her room while Rigo followed the nurse to make sure Clemie was healthy. Ibinigay niya ang pangalan nito at apelyido ni Fatima.

“Since she’s a little under 37 weeks, we need to observe her for a little while, maybe two more days and see if anything comes up. I’d advise Fatima to do the same.”

Tumango si Rigo sa doktor ni Fatima nang kausapin siya. He knew it was dangerous that she wasn’t born on her due date, but the doctor clarified that it was quite common and most babies survive even when they were born two weeks before their due date.

Rigo followed the nurses who were cleaning Clemie as they moved around the nursery room to prepare for her. Nang malinis na ito ay ibinalot nila ng swaddle at nilagyan ng pink na bonnet bago marahang inihiga sa maliit na bassinet.

Her nose wiggled, probably at the sudden burst of air conditioning, and then her mouth opened in a small yawn, which Rigo found adorable. Pulang-pula ang mga pisngi nito at hindi na siya makaantay na gigilan. He tapped his finger against the glass as he watched the nurse write her name on top of the bassinet.

He wanted nothing more but to hold her against his chest. Gusto niyang paarawan ito. Gusto niyang panoorin matulog. Gusto niyang patahanin kapag umiiyak. He wanted to have the right to do that. But he knew he didn’t have one, not when Jacob was around. Not when he was being swallowed by his fear of losing Fatima and Clementine.

“Kamukhang-kamukha. . .” Rigo’s heart swelled with pride as he stared at Clementine, already fast asleep in her bassinet. She looked so much like her mother, even the color of their skin. “Kaugali rin kaya? Yari tayo kung oo.” He smiles to himself when Clemie opened her eyes and wiggled again inside her swaddle, and the next thing he knew, she was already crying in anger, her face fully turning red. Yeah, that sounds like her mother.

Kung pwede lang na humila na lang siya ng upuan at umupo sa harap ng nursery room para titigan si Clemie buong araw ay ginawa na niya. But even Clemie was restless and the nurses said that she needed to be fed already, so Rigo accompanied them to Fatima’s room.

Dahan-dahang binuksan ni Rigo ang pinto and found her sleeping soundly. Jacob was nowhere to be found and God knows where he went again. The nurse wheeled Clemie inside and stopped next to Fatima’s bed.

Rigo slowly dropped a kiss on Fatima’s forehead, and her eyes fluttered open. “Clemie’s here.” As if on cue, Clemie started to fuss, so Rigo reached for Fatima’s arm to help her sit in an upright position while the nurse was giving her instruction on how to help Clemie latch properly.

And the moment she was inside her mother’s arms, Clemie’s fingers immediately found her skin and held on to it. Fatima’s eyes shone with unshed tears as Clemie latched into her in her first try. Halatang gutom na ito dahil matagal na natahimik.

Rigo watched from a distance amidst the silence inside the room. Fatima was playing with Clemie's tiny fingers, kissing it, while breastfeeding her and the smile on her lips was one Rigo wanted to see everyday. “She’s so small. And ang ganda ganda niya, Rigo.” Nag-angat ito ng tingin sa kanya at marahang ngumiti.

“Mana sa ‘yo,” aniya at ngumiti pabalik kay Fatima. “How are you feeling?”

Fatima leaned back on the bed and let herself relax while feeding her. “Pagod. And nagugutom na. I tried ‘yong soup nila kanina, pero hindi masarap.”

“Gusto mo magluto ako tapos dalhan kita?” Rigo’s lips curved up when he saw her eyes lit up. “Mga dalawang araw mo pa pagtiya-tiyagaan ‘yong soup.”

Mabilis itong tumango. “Yes, please.”

“Okay, okay,” Rigo chuckled and crossed his arms. “Kailangan kumain ka para may ipapakain ka rin kay budiday. Otherwise, laging hangry ‘yan.”

Fatima gave him a small smile. It was obvious that they were walking on eggshells, testing the waters if they wanted to talk about what happened.

Rigo opened his mouth the same time Fatima did. “Do you want to hold her?” Rigo bit the inside of his cheek and took a step towards her bed. Clementine was done feeding, but she was still in Fatima’s arms. Nakadilat ito at nakatitig na nanay niya, and Fatima was looking at her too—with so much love in her eyes.

She leaned down to kiss her forehead before she reached to give her to him. Maingat na sinuportahan ni Rigo ang ulo at katawan nito hanggang mailapat sa mga braso niya nang maayos. She was so tiny and soft. Ang sarap tabihan at titigan lang habang natutulog.

Humikab ito at sandaling tumingin sa ilaw na nanggagaling sa kisame. Rigo smoothed the tuft of hair on her head before he ran his finger against her plump cheek. “Hay, budiday. Mala-anghel.”

Umangat ang tingin ni Rigo kay Fatima at naabutan itong nakatitig sa kanilang dalawa. Her long hair was up in a messy bun, and her hospital gown dangled on her shoulder, but she looked anything but tired. Maliwanag ang mga mata nito habang nakatitig sa kanila ni Clemie.

“Sinolo mo na anak ko,” Fatima teased, a small smile played on her lips. “I can tell na mapapasunod ka niya sa kahit anong gusto niya.”

A laugh bubbled out of Rigo’s chest that shook Clemie a little. He touched her cheek again. “Talaga nga naman. Parehong pareho kayo ng nanay mo.”

“Hey, I don’t do that!” agad na reklamo ni Fatima. “Ikaw ang nagkukusa r’yan.”

The corner of Rigo’s lips turned up in a half-smirk. “You know why.” The realization came a second too late when Fatima’s smile slipped.

A profound silence sat between the two of them like a wall.

“Fatima,” simula ni Rigo habang marahang hinehele ang anak nito. “I—I’m sorry for what I did. Sa pagtawag ko kay Jacob. Dahil do’n muntik ka nang—” He swallowed the lump in his throat and hung his head low.

“Rigo—”

“No,” agap niya sa sasabihin nito. He knew what she was going to say. “‘Wag mong sabihin na okay lang kasi hindi. It wasn’t—it wasn’t the right call. Nasaktan kita—kayo ni Clemie.” It was fucking stupid of him to even think about Fatima needing Jacob. She hasn’t needed him in a long, long while.

Fatima pushed herself in an upright position before she lent her hand for him to hold. Nang hawakan ito ni Rigo ay hinila siya ito para umupo sa kama sa tabi niya.

“Alam mo ba kung anong hinihingi ko araw araw bago ako matulog?”

Fatima squeezed his hand tighter and then her eyes glazed over her child who was now sleeping peacefully in his arms.

“Na sana ikaw na lang ang ama ng anak ko,” she whispered.

Rigo’s heartbeat drummed against his ribcage. Mariin siyang lumunok para pigilan ang namumuong luha sa gilid ng mga mata niya. He struggled to keep his breathing even habang nag-uunahan ang mga gusto niyang sabihan kay Fatima.

I’m sorry, Fatima.

Ako na lang ang piliin mo.

‘Wag mo akong iwan.

Mahal kita.

Before he could even let the words slip, hinila ni Fatima ang kamay niya at kumapit sa braso niya bago inabot ang labi niya. Her mouth closed over his upper lip in a sweet kiss. It was gentle. It was an answer.

When their lips separated, Rigo rested his forehead against Fatima, careful not to squish Clementine between them. May bahid ng ngiti sa labi ni Fatima nang bumaba ang tingin niya. “I feel complete. Ikaw, ako, at si Clemie.”

“Mah—” Rigo was cut off when the door to her room suddenly opened and Jacob barged through it noisily. May ilang boses silang narinig kaya mabilis na lumayo si Rigo kay Fatima.

Along with Jacob, their friends entered the room. Jachin, Evie, and Abe’s face greeted them at agad na lumapit kay Fatima. “Hala, ang liit!” Jachin’s eyes fleeted over Clementine’s small figure on Rigo’s arms.

“She’s so cute!” Evie couldn’t help the giggle that burst out of her chest as soon as she was within arm’s reach of Clementine.

Nakasuot silang lahat ng facemask, malamang ay dahil kay Abe, at hindi na muna lumapit at hinawakan si Clemie nang ibalik siya maliit na bassinet.

“How are you?” Abe asked Fatima.

Marahan itong tumango. “I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

“We got you sushi! A whole box!” Inilapag ni Evie ang malaking box sa lamesa sa kama ni Fatima, and her eyes immediately shone with excitement at the mention of sushi. Fatima unwrapped it and popped the lid open, habang si Evie naman ay pinaghiwalay siya ng chopsticks.

Jachin, who was now leaning down to stare at Clementine as she slept through their noise, turned to them—or to Evie more specifically. “Bub, naiinggit na ‘ko. Gusto ko na rin.”

“Noooo!” Evie answered in a sing-song voice.

Habang nagkukulitan ang dalawa ay nakatitig si Abe kay Jacob na tahimik na nakaupo sa sulok ng kwarto. Then, he leaned towards Rigo. “Why is he still here?”

Nagkibit-balikat si Rigo. “Himala nga.”

“Did you do that?” Abe wasn’t so subtle when he pointed at Jacob’s face that was covered in bruises.

A smirk blossomed on Rigo’s lips. He did feel good every time he looked at Jacob’s face and knew he managed to get in some punches that he wasn’t able to months ago. Para na rin sa pag-iwan niya kay Fatima at Clemie no’ng panahon na kailangan siya ng mga ito.

“Bub, don’t wake her up!” Rigo turned to Jachin who was trying to wake up Clementine by tapping her bassinet.

At nang bumukas ang mga mata nito, agad itong umiyak. Jachin panicked and tried to shush her but she wasn’t having it. Mas lalo lang lumakas ang pag-iyak nito hanggang pulang pula na ang mga pisngi.

Pareho silang sabay na lumapit ni Jacob, and Rigo briefly eyed him when he touched his daughter and tried to soothe her with soft words, but Clementine wouldn’t stop crying until it was Rigo who bravely pushed his hand underneath her back to carry her again and pacify her.

“Panira ng araw si Ninong Jachin mo ‘no? Ginugulo ka habang natutulog. Ayaw natin sa kanya.” Rigo whispered to her while rocking her gently in his arms. Clemie stopped crying when she heard his voice and Rigo was lying if it didn’t make him feel good to be needed.

Even as Jacob pinned him with a glare. He didn’t care about what he thought because this little girl in his arms trumps every worry he had.

#smdysnwp

Clemie artwork by @coffeemuffinart