Chapter 21

Interconnected Lines

They've been back in Manila for almost a week now at paunti unti nang naglilipat si Fatima sa bagong apartment niya. It was nice to have a new environment after being stuck in her dorm for 4 years, seeing the same beige painted walls and old street lights outside of her window. Mas tahimik din sa bago niyang nilipatan kumpara sa mga nasa dorm dahil lahat do'n ay mga college students.

"'Di naman pala masyadong marami mga gamit mo," Rigo huffed as he bent down to place a big box inside her apartment. "Karamihan kay budiday 'to."

"Yeah, 'yong mga bigay ni Mila. Hindi naman ako palabili ng gamit din kasi maliit lang naman dorm ko."

Fatima reached for the door handle of her bedroom when her stomach gurgled, at dahil tahimik at walang bukas na bintana, Rigo heard it too. Tumawa ito at bumaba ang tingin sa relo niya sa pulsuhan.

"Magtu-twelve na," he said and then flashed her a grin. "Gutom na si budiday. Kain na raw ang nanay."

He had been helping her the last couple of days to move her things from the dorm to this new place, and Fatima was grateful for his help, even when he constantly annoys her.

Kumunot ang noo niya at hinaplos ang tiyan niya. "Kakabrunch ko lang, anak, ah. Gutom ka na naman?"

She felt a hard kick on her side, just below her ribs that made her snort in both surprise and amusement. "Naiintindihan niya talaga ako kapag inaasar ko siya." There were times she'd talk to her, tell her about her day and her preparations for her birth, and how hard it was for her to attend her labour and birthing classes alone while every other mother in the room had their spouses or partners.

How she envied them. Sinasabi niya sa anak na sana pumili siya ng mas mabuting ama para sa kanya, na makikilala at makakasama niya.

Her baby would often respond with a kick or her hand moving inside her, sometimes a series of hiccups too. And it only made Fatima more excited and desperate to see and hold her in her arms despite the fragmented support system she had. Alam niya rin na mas mahirap na ang magiging routine niya kapag lumabas na ang anak niya. She'd be her first priority above anything.

She silently hoped she'd look like her. Gusto niyang damitan at bihisan ito ng magagandang damit at talian ang buhok nito. She was excited to see her face and touch her cheeks, to listen to her coos, to feed her and put her to sleep.

"Fatima?"

Fatima blinked twice when Rigo's voice cut through her daydreaming. She'd been doing a lot of that lately, minsan nga habang nasa trabaho pa siya. Pero minsan ay talagang sadyang pagod lang siya kaya tahimik siya habang nagta-trabaho.

"What? Ah, yeah. Wait lang, magsasapatos lang ako," Fatima kicked her shoes from underneath the mini rack near the door, and bent down to try and clip on her sandals in place. "Uhm, wait. . . Ugh!" she groaned in frustration as she tried to bend down further, but her belly was getting in the way.

Fatima felt Rigo's presence behind her, and his hand automatically reached to hold her elbow. "Ako na. Kapit ka sa balikat ko." Lumuhod si Rigo at inabot ang kanang binti niya, sabay marahang hinaplos ang balat niya.

She did as she was told despite feeling lightheaded from his touch. Her skin prickled every time he'd touch her and Fatima was convinced it was because of her pregnancy hormones. Because it wasn't possible to want someone this much!

"There," Rigo gently dropped her leg, but instead of immediately standing up, he caught her hand that was previously holding on to him and gently pulled it to place a kiss on her skin. Fatima stopped breathing for a second. She didn't want to breathe.

She felt that the only way she could breathe was to kiss the man in front of her.

"Wala ka bang slides lang? Para madaling suotin." Rigo asked, unaware of the spiralling feelings inside Fatima. "Hirap ka na magsapatos."

"Uh, I—I have. It's—it's inside my room." Fatima rambled in an attempt to hide the storm inside her. She was blabbering mess in front of him, and she hated the fact that it was the same crippling, wonderful feeling that she always felt then.

That same feeling was what put them in this situation in the first place.

The only question was, was the outcome going to be any different this time around?

Fatima didn't want to find out now. Mas gusto niyang makasama ito nang mas matagal, mas gusto niyang maalagaan ni Rigo, like he had done in the last few months. It felt selfish to wish for that, and yet, it was the only thing her heart yearned for, it was the only secret she hadn't told anyone, not even her baby.

The whole ride down on the elevator, Fatima was tense as Rigo's arm rested on her waist, dahil sa manipis na sundress niya ay ramdam niya ang init ng palad nito. Rigo tilted his head forward to kiss her shoulder, lightly breathing in her scent.

"Kanina ka pa nakakapit sa 'kin," Fatima commented and glanced at him from her peripheral view. Narinig niya ang mahinang pagtawa nito at naramdaman ang halik nito ulit sa balikat niya.

"Sorry, kanina ko pa kasi naaamoy pabango mo," Rigo chuckled and Fatima felt his smile on her skin, like an imprint she can't shake off. "I had to do it."

"Mas clingy ka pa siguro sa anak ko."

A hearty laugh racked through Rigo's chest. "Paano kung dalawa kami? Tig-isang balikat mo."

Fatima pushed Rigo's head as soon as the elevator opened dahil marami makakakita sa kanila sa lobby bago ito inunahang lumabas ng elevator. Humabol ito ng lakad sa kanya at inabot ang kamay niya para hawakan. "I can do this, right?"

Bumaba ang tingin ni Fatima sa kamay nilang magkahawak. She could clearly feel the thick ring on Rigo's pinky finger, an heirloom from his father that he had ever since she met him. Rigo's fingers tightened around hers as they walked towards the double doors.

"Mm-hmm." Fatima found herself agreeing.

And despite feeling like she was falling head first to the same trap that she found herself in a year ago, Fatima let herself fall.

She let herself feel what love once was, and what love is again.

☂

Rigo sipped loudly on his juice box—an orange juice na nadampot niya sa loob ng fridge ni Fatima—and tried to avoid Mila's questioning eyes on him.

"So you're here often?" taas kilay nitong tanong sa kanya habang wala at nagbibihis si Fatima sa kwarto nito.

"Mmm," Rigo answered. "'Di naman ako natutulog dito bago ka mag-isip ng kung ano ano."

Mila came by a few hours after they got back from their lunch, at agad nitong hinatak si Fatima para lumabas, saying they needed a girl time before she leaves tomorrow evening, and Rigo wasn't about to question until she said that they'd be going to a bar.

"Saan mo na naman daldalhin si—"

"Ano? Si ano mo? Sige, sabihin mo, Rigo." Mila challenged him as she was pushing Fatima towards her bedroom to change. Hindi na ito makatanggi dahil aalis na si Mila bukas.

Rigo scratched the back of his head. "Basta safe ro'n, ah? Walang amoy usok at alak."

Mila rolled her eyes and stepped towards him. "Of course! It's a chill bar. Sa rooftop pa kami para hindi stuffy for Fats. So OA, Rigo."

"At ikaw lang iinom, ah. Tawagan mo ako 'pag uuwi na kayo."

Lumabas na si Fatima mula sa kwarto niya and Rigo ran his gaze over her. A cute white strappy top that stretched over her belly, paired with her usual black leggings, tapos nakasukbit sa braso nito ang isang jacket. Lumapit siya para kuhanin ang jacket nito at isuot dito ang jacket.

"Hindi pa naman malamig," Fatima tried to argue but he wasn't hearing any of it.

"Mahamog na mamaya," Rigo pulled the hood over Fatima's head and tightened the strings, then he thumbed both of her cheeks. Medyo mapula ito dahil sa make up niya, but he had seen it without any product, and lately, she seemed to be more glowing. "Tawag ka 'pag uuwi ka na, susunduin kita."

"Excuse me! I'm here! Ano ako rito, hangin?" Mila tried to flail her hand beside them, but Rigo's eyes were completely on Fatima—as hers was to his.

Fatima's hand went to Rigo's and she caressed the back of his hand with her thumb. "Okay, I will."

☂

Rigo watched the clock's hand tick by in the living room of Fatima's new apartment. Kanina pa siya hindi mapakali habang naghihintay ng text mula kay Fatima. He hated that she doesn't constantly check her phone dahil ngayon ay kinakabahan siya baka kung napano na sila.

08:45

Rigo

san na kayo?

Fatima

Dito pa.

09:10

Rigo

musta?

Fatima

👍🏻

09:39

Rigo

okay lang kayo?

Fatima

Yes, Rigo. Tumigil ka na kakatext.

Rigo

nag-aalala lang eh

10:06

Rigo

balita?

Fatima

TV Patrol.

Rigo

corny. ano nga?

Fatima

Patapos na. Mila's dozing off.

Rigo

daming nainom?

Fatima

Yeah.

10:55

Rigo

pasundo na?

That was his last message to her and it was already fifteen minutes past 11 PM. Ayaw naman niyang tawagan ito dahil baka magalit dahil nangungulit siya. He bit his lower lip and played with it with his index finger. Pipindutin na sana niya ang call button nang mag ring ang phone niya at lumitaw ang pangalan ni Fatima. Her display photo was one he captured a few years ago, katatapos lang ng klase nilang dalawa at nakatambay sila. Nakapangalumbaba ito at masungit na nakatingin sa kanya.

"Hello? Papasundo na kayo?" agad na tanong ni Rigo.

"Yeah, wala na, tumba na 'tong kasama ko."

Bahagyang natawa si Rigo at inipit ang phone niya sa balikat at tenga niya, bago yumuko para isintas ang sapatos. "Okay. Text mo sa 'kin address."

"Sure?" Fatima asked in a low voice, rinig ni Rigo ang ingay sa background. Mostly music, but he heard voices too. "I mean—hindi ka ba pa uuwi? Kaya naman namin mag-taxi."

"Delikads na. Gabi na. Kaya ko naman magmamaneho kaya send mo na lang sa 'kin nasaan kayo."

Fatima hummed in response. "Okay. Uhm, ingat ka." Rigo could almost hear the hesitation on her lips, and it made him smile a little.

"I will."

As soon as they dropped the call, Rigo sped through to where they were. Hindi niya alam kung bakit ang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib niya, but he knew that he was more excited to see Fatima.

Nang makita niya itong nakaupo malapit sa entrance ng bar, sandaling tumigil ang mga paa niya sa paglakad. Mila was leaning on her shoulders, eyes closed, and Fatima was trying hard to keep her weight as they sat together.

Rigo pushed the glass door and when Fatima's eyes landed on his, he felt a small relief dissipating in his chest. She was safe. She didn't seem in distress. And the small smile that blossomed on her lips when she saw him was well worth all the worrying he had done in the last five hours or so.

"Thanks," Fatima murmured as soon as Rigo took Mila's arm and hooked it on his neck to support her weight and lift her up from the seat. "Hindi ko na kaya dalawang bigat nila ng anak ko."

"Hay nako, Milana," Rigo breathed through gritted teeth as he bears all of her weight. Medyo gising ito kaya nakakalakad but she could barely open her eyes. "Ba't ba nagpakalasing 'to?"

Fatima glanced at him and cleared her throat. "Uhm, for reasons."

"Love life?"

"Mm-hmm," Fatima dismissed him. Rigo figured he won't push because it's probably between them and Mila didn't allow Fatima to say anything to him yet.

After they dropped Mila off safely to the condo unit she was currently staying at making sure she was tucked inside her covers, Rigo drove back to Fatima's place.

Tahimik silang nakikinig ng music habang nagmamaneho si Rigo. He didn't think he needed to talk because Fatima was probably sleepy, but also because the silence was comfortable.

Rigo wanted to reach for Fatima's hand, but it was too far and he didn't want to intrude in her personal space. Hindi niya alam kung bakit ngayon pa siya nahihiya. And just as he was about to ask, Fatima turned to him and stared at his hand that was slightly hanging in the air.

Binawi ni Rigo ang kamay niya at ikinawit sa batok. "Ah, haha. Wala."

"Wala pa nga akong sinasabi."

"Sasabihin mo 'wag ko hawakan kamay ko. Alam ko na, Fatima, kaya uunahan na kita."

Pumalatak si Fatima bago inabot ang kamay niya na nakahawak sa manibela. "Hilig mong pangunahan ako." She then pulled his hand and slipped her fingers between his.

It always ended up like this with them. They're like two lines interconnected with each other, that despite being pulled in different directions, they can't seem to let go. They'll stretch with great distance, almost pushing past their breaking point. . . and then snap back together again.

Somehow, despite everything, they'll meet each other again in the middle.

Rigo gripped her hand a little tighter and hoped that she wouldn't let go of it this time around. And even going up the apartment, Fatima kept her hand inside his, and leaned on his arm while waiting for the elevator to stop. Marahang hinagod nito ang braso niya habang magkahawak sila ng kamay.

"Kuhanin ko lang laptop ko tapos alis na rin ako," Rigo mentioned as soon as they stepped inside the unit. Iniwan niya muna kasi ang laptop at backpack niya sa sala kanina. "Balik ako bukas ng hapon. May ibang gamit ka pa damit 'di ba?"

Fatima slowly nodded. "Mm. May ilang box na lang. Mostly my books."

"Okay. Ako na lang kukuha bukas."

Yumuko si Rigo para isara ang laptop niya na nakapatong sa center table bago ito isinuksok sa backpack niya. He heaved his backpack and pushed his phone in his back pocket.

Akmang hahakbang na siya papunta sa hallway ng unit nang dumapo ang tingin niya kay Fatima. She stood in the middle of the living room and fiddled with her fingers.

Rigo's brows pulled in a frown. "Bakit? May masakit sa 'yo?"

"No, no," agap ni Fatima. She took a deep breath, as her eyes flew to the ceiling before coming back to meet Rigo's familiar gaze. Nakakunot ang noo nito at hinihintay siyang magsalita. She didn't like the way only he can light a fire of indecision in her. She didn't like the way only he can make her want to risk everything she worked hard to avoid in the last couple of months.

And yet. And yet. "Would you like to stay the night?"

#smdysnwp