~Chris' POV~

Liverpool wasn't that bad, actually. Even though I had come here with only a guitar, the clothes on my back, and barely enough money to pay for a meal every day for two weeks, I was enjoying it more than I had roaming the streets of London.

Within 24 hours of arriving in Liverpool, I had come across a very kind older gentleman who offered me some shelter in turn for work. I had happily accepted, and now had a less than cozy shelter in the attic of a small clothes shop. I had never worked in retail before, but he told me that the customers enjoyed chatting with me.

It was so strange, being a retail worker by day and a musician at night. I didn't make much money playing at night, but I could never give it up. I loved it more than anything in the world, except maybe that boy with the dark green eyes...

Not a day went by when I didn't think about Jonny, or what Guy told me. I didn't know if he actually hated me, or if what Guy had said was just anger towards me. I'm doing this for you, I thought to myself.

When October rolled around, I had considered going back to London. After all, it had been three months since I unintentionally left Jonny. Surely he wasn't angry anymore. However, by Mr. Warren's insistence, I decided to wait another month. I would go visit my mum for Thanksgiving and go back to London afterwards.

I missed Jonny so much. I wanted to hold him in my arms again, kiss his sweet baby-face, to make music with him and just forget about the world. I loved him. After all this time, almost four months, I still loved him. I loved him, and he hated me.

"Chris?" Mr. Warren called, chasing my thoughts away.

"Yes, sir?"

He walked over to where I was standing behind the checkout desk. It was a quiet day, though it usually was, as our shop was quite small in size compared to the ones that surrounded us. He handed me a small flier, and I looked at him confused.

"I heard that this small band from London was goingto perform here next week," he explained. "I listened to their EP and it reminded me of you," he said. There have been a few occasions when Mr. Warren would want me to play the guitar for his customers instead of serve them. Every time I graciously accepted and he always praised my performance.

I smiled at him and when I looked down at the flier, I couldn't believe my eyes. There on the cover was the picture of the band, and I instantly recognized all three of them. However, the one that stood out the most was the boy with the beautiful green eyes.

Jonny! My heart raced. Jonny was going to be in Liverpool this week. I had to see the performance, I had to. I had to see Jonny again, to explain everything, even if he didn't want to ever see my hideous arse again, I had to at least know.

"Does this mean I can go to the gig?" I asked, trying to keep my heart rate normal and failing.

Mr. Warren laughed. "I wouldn't bring you the flier if I didn't want you to go, boy," he said.

I smiled. I was going to see Jonny this week. I'm going to see Jonny!

My brain could barely keep up with my heart. How would our meeting go? Would his heart constrict at the sight of me? Would he want to come to me? Would we meet before the show or after? If he saw me, would he approach me or ignore me? Does he have a new boyfriend? My heart stopped at that thought. It was so selfish of me, but I wanted to be his only boyfriend. I didn't think that I could ever date another bloke, or even a girl. I couldn't date anyone unless it was Jonny. I should tell him that, I thought, making a mental note to myself.

"Alright, Chris, I'll let you get off early today," Mr. Warren told me, and I grinned.

"Thank you, sir!"

I immediately grabbed my guitar and left the shop. I sat on a bench, a stupid grin on my face, and I wrote my first happy song that I'd written in months.

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~Jonny's POV~

As I sat in the van to Liverpool, I worried. Our last gig hadn't gone well.

I was inexperienced moving around the stage with my guitar, and I ended up tripping over the wire that connected it to the amplifier. I tried to recover by getting up and apologizing, but I had really hurt my arm attempting to break my fall (after all, I didn't want to land on my four-month old fetus), and I was struggling to play the right notes without wincing in pain each time. Then, focusing more on the guitar than my singing, and heard myself singing off key and wrong notes all over the place.

When the show was over, I groaned and begged Phil and Dave to cancel the rest of the shows. They disagreed, and Phil just told me that I would get better.

"It was only one fall, mate. Now you'll know for next time!" Dave said, not doing much to improve my mood.

I sighed. We'd played three shows in London, none of which Chris attended. Of course, we were still a small band. We had very little funds and it's not like I expected him to be there anyway. After all, he had been the one to leave me. He was the one who left, who took himself out of my life four months ago.

Four months, I thought. Didn't people learn to get over shit like that by now? Couldn't I just be normal for once and forget about him? No, I knew I would never be able to forget him. Every time I thought about my baby, I was reminded of the man who gave it to me.

Suddenly, my thoughts shifted from my past to my future, when I had the baby. What would he or she look like? Would I be able to raise them properly? Where would I get the money needed to raise them? Where would we live? It was so hard to imagine myself doing this alone.

"What are you thinking about, Jon?" Will asked, who was sitting in front of me next to Guy.

I sighed. "The baby," I said quietly, resting my head on the headrest of the seat in front of me. "I'm afraid, is all."

Phil, who was sitting next to me, smiled and patted my back. "It's ok, Jonny. We're going to help you," he reassured.

"How?" I asked.

Guy turned around to face me. "None of us have any experience as dads but we all want to help you as much as physically possible," he said. "Babysitting, giving you a place to stay when you need it, making food, even sharing funds if it came down to it."

Will nodded. "Yeah, what Guy said. We're all friends. There's no way that we'd let you or your baby starve," he said. "I would do that for any of you. Whether it was Jonny pregnant or Phil, or even Dave, you're all special to me."

"Aw how sweet," Phil teased, then turned to me again, looking serious. "Look, it's going to be alright. We're going to make sure that you and your baby live the life you deserve, with or without Chris." He smiled at me, and my heart warmed at my friends' kindness.

"Thank you, guys. You all are truly the best friends I could ever ask for," I told them, pulling Phil in for a friendly hug.

We chatted for the rest of the ride and once we were there, my nerves set in again. We were not performing tonight, but we were in an unfamiliar city, and I had no intention of getting lost. Still, I sort of wanted to just walk around and get a feel for it.

"I'm going for a walk," I said, taking my mobile, a map, and a pair of sunglasses so I wouldn't get recognized (even though I knew our band wasn't big enough to get recognized, I had a bad feeling anyway).

I felt bad not helping my mates unload the van, but I really needed to stretch my legs and clear my head. The concert will go fine, I told myself. There's no need to be nervous.

I stopped on a park bench for a rest, and that's when I heard it. The angelic singing.

I could've sworn that I recognized the voice and so, I put on the sunglasses, put up my hood and moved slowly towards the voice.

My heart sped up as I got closer, and I remembered where I had heard that angelic voice before. It was Chris. It had to be.

Still, when I made it to the crowd that had gathered around the singer, I didn't dare look up in fear that it wouldn't be him, and once again my heart would be broken. However, as I became more sure, I slowly looked up, and my heart constricted at the sight.

It was Chris.

His hair had grown too long and his curls had taken over his head. His eyes were sunk in, as if he hadn't gotten any sleep in weeks, and even though I was far away and was wearing tinted eyewear, I could tell that the blue in his eyes were not sparkling like I had remembered them to.

Oh Chris, I thought, and I so desperately wanted to run up to him and hug him. I needed to feel his presence, his warmth, his soft touch on my skin. I wanted to kiss his chapped lips and forget about the four months that had passed between us. I wanted him to come home to me, so that we could live and be together finally.

I couldn't stop staring, and when he finally met my eyes, only a hint of recognition was on his face. I wanted to scream out, "It's me! It's Jonny! Your long lost love!" However, he narrowed his eyes at me, as if struggling to remember where he had seen me before, then moved on, his eyes now finding others in the crowd.

When his playing stopped, I walked up to him, and had intended to talk to him, to hug him, and tell him everything. Though, as soon as I was close enough to say hello, I couldn't even look up at him, so I just left a £20 note and walked away.

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~Chris' POV~

I thought long and hard about that strange man at the park. I wanted to recognize him, but with the sunglasses and hoodie, there was just no way to tell who it was. Maybe any other person would be able to tell me who he was, but I recognize people by their eyes.

My mother once told me that eyes are a window to the soul, and ever since that day, I've studied people by watching their eyes. My beautiful Jonny Boy had so much going on in his eyes. Secrets that he wanted to tell me but couldn't, a spark for something I couldn't determine, a love for something that I thought was me.

What if that man was my precious Jonny Boy? I thought to myself, then quickly shook away the thought. I didn't even know if he had arrived in Liverpool yet, and certainly he wouldn't leave me £20, because knowing him, he's poor, but he's also good with money. There's no way he would waste that much on a random musician in the streets. Plus, wouldn't he say hello? Wouldn't he want to come say hello to the man he'd been missing for months on end?

Though, maybe I was wrong. Maybe he didn't miss me at all.

Of course he doesn't! Guy even told you that he hates you! I reminded myself. Plus, that man had a much bigger stomach than my Jonny. Maybe he just missed my Cadbury Buttons, I thought with a chuckle.

Eventually, I decided that the strange man from the park was not Jonny, and that Jonny would not ever come see me for as long as he lived.

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~Jonny's POV~

"Alright, Jonny, is your guitar hooked up?" Dave asked me.

I strummed a few chords and nodded when the chords blasted out of the speakers.

I couldn't stop thinking about Chris. I could hardly believe that that man... that hurt, raggedy looking man had once been so full of life and happiness. The spark in his eyes had died, and the person that was left was a mere shell of his former self. Had it really been Chris, or had I just been hallucinating again? I wondered if he'd come to our gig tonight, though I doubted it. We were only playing in a pub. We were nothing special, and I doubted that he even knew we were here. Still, I hoped.

"Let's do a sound check," Phil suggested.

We rehearsed a few of our songs, and I practiced dancing around the stage without tripping. I could only stay on one side so that I could avoid the wire of my guitar, so I desperately hoped that if Chris came, he'd be on the side that I was on. I wanted to see him, just to see if he was really the tired looking man I had seen yesterday.

"Sounding good, chaps!" Phil announced from the back of the room.

I sighed in relief. That meant we were done setting up and we could get a break for once. I sat at one of the tables and sighed, rubbing my hand through my hair. Tonight would determine how my life would go. One of many things could happen. Chris could show up and we'd talk after the show and make up. He could show up and we'd talk and I'd discover that he didn't care about me anymore and leave my life for good. He could show up just to watch the show and completely ignore me, or, the most likely option, he didn't show up at all.

"Are you okay, Jon?" I heard a voice coming from behind me ask. I turned around and Guy was standing there.

I sighed. "Guy, have you ever fallen in love?"

"No, but I'm sure that some day I will," he replied, coming over to sit beside me. "Why?"

I shook my head. "Because I didn't know that love could be this hard."

"What happened, Jonny?"

I looked at him, and I saw the concern in his eyes. "I saw Chris last night," I said, and watched him visibly tense up. "He looked bad, Guy. His eyes looked tired and he looked raggedy and lonely... like a shell of his former self."

He bit his lip and refused to meet my eyes, and I knew something was up, but I said nothing. "I miss him so much. I want him to come to the show tonight, just... just so we can fix things."

"Don't count on that," he told me.

I shook my head. "I'm not. In fact, I'm not expecting him to show up at all," I admitted. I sure as hell wanted him to, to come and stay with me forever, but I wasn't stupid enough to expect my dreams to come true.

Guy nodded and patted my back a bit harder than he meant to, I think. "It gets easier," he said, and walked away.

I sat there, still somewhat confused. Guy had looked so concerned for me until I mentioned Chris. I knew that he had never liked him, but did Guy really hate him that much? Your best friend hates the father of your child, I thought, and I stated to cry.

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~Chris' POV~

I had been bouncing on my feet all day. Tonight was the gig at the pub, and Jonny was going to be there. Not only be there, but perform. I was so proud of him, for following his dreams, despite his shyness. However much I wished that I could be up there performing with him, I was glad that it was his dreams that had come true and not mine. I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve him. He was too incredible.

When Mr. Warren finally let me go for the day, my anxiety was out of control. What would Jonny do? Ignore me? Kick me out? Had he already forgotten me?

Inside the pub, people were gathered by the bar, and the band wasn't on stage yet. I debated buying a drink, but decided against it and sat at a table.

When the manager came on stage, my breath caught and I waited. "Tonight we would like to present Coldplay, a band that we think will really get big someday," he announced. "They just released their EP, and here they are, please give it up for Coldplay, ladies and gentlemen!"

There was some applause from the room, including my own, but my hands were sweating and my breathing was unsteady. First came on Will, who waved, then Guy, who scowled at the audience, and finally Jonny, who looked more nervous than anything. My heart rate picked up and  memories of our time back at Uni ran through my mind. Here, he looked so uncomfortable, so lost, and so hurt, and I could tell just by the way he carried himself. I wanted to look into his deep green eyes, and have him tell me his secrets.

He sat on the stool on the stage and I watched him carefully as he pulled out his guitar. "Uh, hey everybody," he began. Hi Jonny, I thought to myself. "So you probably haven't heard of us yet, but someday we're going to be the biggest band in the world," he said, making the audience chuckle. He smiled. "And by that I mean the tallest, of course. No one is bigger than The Beatles!" The audience laughed again and I smiled. You're the best, in my eyes, J.

"Um, so the first song we'd like to play for you is a song that was written a long, long time ago," he said with a smile, introducing the song. I wondered if he was going to play Ode to Deodorant, but when he started playing chords that I didn't recognize, my face fell.

I wanted to know everything that Jonny played, but he had obviously done so much in four months, the dream of getting to be with him once again was slipping from my fingertips.

He finished the song with a sad smile and stood up for their next song. I watched as his eyes scanned the audience, and I didn't have time to duck out of sight when he saw me.

I met his eyes with my own blue ones and feared his reaction. I saw the shock of me being here, I saw the hurt of the last four months flash, I saw him want to smile, but being to anxious to. He didn't look away for a few moments, and I couldn't help but watch him longingly. The song he played sounded sad, but his anxiety made it sound quicker than I think it was supposed to be. I wanted to comfort him, to tell him it was okay, that I was here now and that I would never hurt him again.

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~Jonny's POV~

Here was here. Holy shit. He was actually here.

I had stood up to introduce the next song, and there he was, staring at me, watching me. He didn't look as bad as he had the night before, but he didn't look great. The only difference was that the spark in his eyes had returned, even if they were filled with anxiety.

Why are you anxious? I wanted to scream out. Let me help you, Chris. Let me be in your life again.

I had to force myself to look away from him, as I didn't want anyone to get suspicious. Still, my heart raced and I accidentally played the next song faster than I had meant to.

When we took a break for intermission, I was so tempted to run to Chris and never let him go. "Will," I whispered over the crowd. "Chris. He's here," I said.

Will's eyes widened. "What's he doing here?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Please, I need to see him."

"Ah, Jonny..."

"Please, Will."

Will shook his head. "We're about to go back on," he told me.

I sighed.

We went back up, and my eyes immediately searched for his ocean blue ones. I found them, and he looked solemn, like he had been ready to leave and give up on me. "Stay," I mouthed to him, and his eyes lit up again.

He nodded to me again and I knew my life was going to change again soon.

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~Chris' POV~

"Stay," he mouthed. He wanted me to stay. He wanted to see me. He wanted me to be here.

I nodded back at him, and I felt a flame rise in my chest. I love him, I told myself, but I already knew that. I loved him more than I had ever loved anyone else in the world.

I did my best to enjoy the rest of the performance, but nothing had prepared me for this. The love I felt for my precious guitarist was overcoming all my other emotions. Even my anxiety, which I had thought would be out of control at this point. All I could think about was Jonny and how much I loved him, and I dreamed of finally having him to myself. Maybe he didn't hate me after all.

The performance ended and my anxiety returned. I loved him, but what if he didn't love me? What if he just told me to stay so that he could tell me how much he hates me in person?

People began to leave the pub and I made my way towards the backstage, and I saw my old roommate, Dave. My fear kept me from calling out, but when I saw Jonny there, his eyes searching for mine, I froze.

"Chris!" He called out, and he ran to me, making everyone else look in my direction. I didn't know what to do until he hugged me. I quickly wrapped my arms around his head protectively, and I started to weep.

"Jonny Boy," I whispered. "I'm sorry for hurting you," I began. He didn't stop me or let me go, so I continued. "My step-father... he stopped paying for my college education. He pulled me out, away from you. I should've run to you, I should've told you. I should've disobeyed him or found a way to pay for it myself. I'm so so sorry."

I heard a sob escape his throat and I ran my fingers through his hair. "I'm here now, love," I whispered, not really caring about the word slipping from my lips.

When he pulled away, he wiped his eyes and stared at me. "What happened?" He asked. I looked at him, a bit confused, and he stroked my cheek, just beneath my right eye. "What happened to you?"

I grabbed his hand and shook my head. "Don't worry about it," I told him. "The only thing that matters is that I have you in my arms again." I kissed him gently, and when I felt his lips returning my love, I kissed him harder, trying to make up the time we had lost in our months apart.

"I love you," he said when we separated, making my heart flutter. "I couldn't live without you. I need you. I hate your step-father for taking you away like that."

I smiled and stroked his cheek. "Guy said you hated me," I said.

Jonny turned back to look at Phil, Will, Dave, and Guy, who was blushing. "You told him I hated him?" Jonny asked.

Guy sighed and nodded. "Yeah, about a month about after he left, I saw him and he begged me to tell you that he was sorry and that he loved you, but I..." He trailed off.

I could nearly see steam coming out of Jonny's ears. "You saw him and didn't tell me? He told you that he loves me, and all you said was that he hated me?" He asked, calmly, and his anger growing as the sentence progressed.

"Mate, he doesn't deserve you. He fucked you up."

"Yes, because I thought he didn't love me anymore," he said. "If I had known that he still loved me, I would've been saved so much heartache."

Guy looked sincerely apologetic. "I'm sorry, mate. I thought you would've been over him by now."

Jonny shook his head. "You really think I wouldn't think about him every time I looked at my baby?"

"Whoa, whoa!" I cried, waving my hands up for the argument to stop. "Baby?" I questioned.

Jonny bit his lip. "Chris, I'm pregnant with your child."