~Jonny's POV~

Tim helped me to put the crib in the trunk of my car, and I smiled at him. "You're nervous," he observed.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah. It feels like as soon as I head back, my life will begin," I admitted. "I dropped out of University, and now I've got to hope that our band takes off."

He smiled. "Hey, it's alright, Jonny. You're going to be the most amazing dad that the world has ever known. If you and Chris love your kids as much as you love each other, I'm not worried."

I smiled. It was true that I already loved the twins as much as I loved the man who gave them to me, and they hadn't even been born yet. "I do," I replied dumbly. A grin was creeping across my face as I thought about Chris and how he was anxiously awaiting my return.

"I know," he said, laughing. "Please drive safely. Wouldn't want anything to happen to you." He poked my stomach, making me giggle.

One of the babies kicked, making Tim laugh. "I guess they didn't like that very much!" I said, and Tim scoffed.

"Whatever, I'll be an amazing uncle."

I got into my car and waved to my parents as I backed out of their driveway. Christmas was them was lovely. I received lots of gifts for the twins, such as bottles, toys, and nappies. Mum got Chris two new books (which surprised me, that she remembered me briefly mentioning that Chris loved to read) and she bought us some decorations for the flat. Dad got me some cooking stuff and made me promise that I wouldn't let Chris cook, which I playfully agreed to.

The drive back to London was very peaceful, until I got a call from Chris. "Hello?" I answered.

"Hello, love! Are you driving back to London?" He asked.

"Yes, why?" I giggled.

I heard his adorable giggle from the other end, unintentionally copying mine. "Don't come back to the flat yet. I have a surprise for you at the hotel."

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, but I didn't question anything. "The hotel? Uh... okay."

Chris giggled, and I could tell he was holding back a much larger laugh. What is he hiding? I wondered, silently chuckling.

"See you in a few hours, Jonny Boy!" He said cheerfully, before hanging up. That man is full of mysteries, I thought to myself, laughing quietly. I turned on the radio and found myself singing along to first Oasis, then to The Beatles and Muse.

The babies kicked me every once and awhile, making my heart soar. I thought of all the wonderful times I would have with my babies, us all as a family, the family of miracles.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment, imagining the image of Chris and whatever surprise he had set up for me. However, my picture was cut short by the sound of a honk, followed by screeching tires. I opened my eyes and gasped at the car that was heading straight for me. I quickly swerved left to try and avoid it, but it hit the side of my car, popping the air bag, and sending me off course.

"Fuck!" I shouted as my vehicle headed straight down the side of a hill. I tried to swerve back onto the road, but the tires had locked and I no longer had any control of the speeding car.

I braced for impact, and closed my eyes, not feeling anything but fear as the car tumbled down the hill on its side, and I could just barely hear the sound of the windows cracking as I rolled.

"Fuck, fuck fuck," I said with every roll, barely able to hear myself. I knew that I probably should just sit still, but I was afraid and I cursed like a sailor when I was scared.

When the car finally hit the bottom of the hill and slowed to a halt, it was upside-down and the blood was rushing to my head.

I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there. I couldn't look down and observe my injuries, but I knew that I could feel a pool of blood on my legs. I didn't know if glass had somehow pierced my trousers or if the babies... oh God please let the babies be ok.

I suddenly felt very tired. I began to panic. Surely after something like that I was not supposed to feel tired? I didn't know what to do. I felt far too weak to get out of the car, in which I sat in upside-down, and all I wanted to do was sleep.

I want Chris, I thought, my eyes slowly beginning to flutter. I could hear noise- shouting, sirens, whatever else- but it was all muffled and I was far too tired to pay much attention to it.

I felt a tug at my arm, but I was still in my seat belt, and I was too tired to undo it. "Sir, please undo your seat belt!" A voice cried, but I didn't listen.

I drifted off into slumber, and all I could see was black.

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~Chris' POV~

The baby shower was set up at the hotel. As it turned out, one of the managers of the place was an old friend of my dad's, so we were able to set up something for the exact time that Jonny was coming home. The timing couldn't be better, and I was quite proud of myself for setting it all up almost by myself.

We had rented out a meeting room and put up multicolored balloons, representing both gay pride and the possible genders of our twins. Just the thought made me giddy.

Mum and Dad had gotten together that Christmas, and they were so intimate and touchy, I thought that I would have another baby brother or sister by the end of next year. I was so glad to see that they had missed each other so much, and was especially thankful that Chad was out of my life for good. The man that tortured and abused me for years on end, who made me flinch at the even the gentle touch of my boyfriend, and who gave me scars not only physically, but mentally and emotionally.

I was thrilled. Everything was falling into place. I had my Jonny Boy, my twins, my parents back together, and a new found relationship with my siblings.

I was just finishing up the set-up when my mobile rang. I thought it would be Jonny again, to tell me something important that he had forgotten to tell me, or ask what the address of the hotel was or something. However, the name that appeared on the small screen of my flip phone was not Jonny, and I was hesitant to answer.

Thanks God I did.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Chris Martin?" The voice of a woman asked. Her voice was monotone, as if she had asked this same question to over a thousand people.

"Erm... yes it is. Why?"

"This is Mercy Hospital, calling on behalf of our patient Jonathan Buckland." Jonny? In the hospital? I thought. Immediately, the worst possibilities ran through my head. He was dead. He was in a coma. Our children were dead. He had lost his memory. "He's in quite critical condition at the moment, however he had you listed on his emergency contact list, and so we thought it would be best if you come see him right away."

"I... yes, thank you." I hung up and didn't say anything for awhile, though I felt my family boring holes into the back of my skull.

"Chris?" My dad called, snapping me out of my trance. "Is everything ok? You're white as a ghost, son."

I shook my head. "Jonny's in the hospital." I grabbed my jacket and immediately walked out the door. Phil, Will, Guy, and Dave, all followed behind me, concerned just as much as I was.

"Chris! You can't walk there!" Will called to me.

"Come on, I'll drive us all there," Phil offered, and we all took him up on the offer.

During the ride to the hospital, nothing, not even my friends' constant support, kindness, and encouragement could cheer me up. Nothing could cheer me up until I knew for sure that both Jonny and the twins were ok.

"He's in quite critical condition at the moment."

Fuck, what if something was seriously wrong? I would never be able to forgive myself if Jonny was hurt, or worse. I couldn't bear to think about it, but I really had no other choice at the moment.

I said nothing the entire ride, and I knew that my dear friends were worried about Jonny, our babies, and me. What would happen if Jonny died? Our band would split up. I would refuse to touch another guitar for as long as I lived, and probably never listen to music again, especially U2, since it was one of the few musical tastes that we actually shared.

When I walked through the doors with my friends in tow, the nurse seemed to know who we were here for instantly. "I can only let in one at a time," she informed us, and I turned back to my friends to their approving looks.

"Now, I must warn you, he's not doing very well. His heartbeat is faint, hia breathing is staggered and the babies..." she trailed off, making a sob catch in my throat. "I don't know if he'll hear you, and I don't know if he'll wake up," she said.

It's my fault, I thought. If I'd only forced him to stay with me for Christmas, if I had only waited to start the baby shower. Fuck, Chris, what is wrong with you?

When we entered his room, my eyes instantly began to burn with tears. His arms were both attached to IVs, he had a breathing mask attached to his face, and there were tubes running from his chest to a heart monitor. There was a large bruise across his chest and multiple cuts and slashes on his arms, which were clearly much deeper than what they looked from a distance. His left eye was swollen to the point that I wasn't sure if he would be able to open it even if he tried.

Then, I looked down at his pudgy stomach and saw the large cut that ran right across the center of it. I held my breath and looked to the nurse for answers. "A piece of glass slashed him in the crash."

Crash. I wondered how bad the crash had been. I suddenly had the urge to hold his hand, to tell him that everything was going to be ok. Twenty minutes ago, I would've believed it, but now I didn't know what would happen. Would he be ok? Would the twins survive? I just wanted my Jonny Boy back.

I looked to the nurse and begged her to leave, though I didn't once open my mouth. She understood and left me alone with Jonny.

I suddenly felt so angry at the world. How come once I was starting to get things to go my way, they had to fall apart again? I lost Chad after years of living in fear, but now I might lose Jonny and the twins after only a few months of being able to love him.

I grabbed his hand and I cried into it. "Oh Jonny, please don't leave me," I begged. "Not now after you've given me so much."

I shook my head. "I can get over the twins... death." I still had no word on them, and I didn't want them to be dead at all. Not after all we had worked for. However, if Jonny was gone, that meant that they would be too, and I couldn't lose all of them. "But I would never, ever be able to get over losing you, Jonny."

I cried some more, stopping only when the nurse returned and told me that visiting hours were over. I didn't want to leave him, but I knew that staying here would only make the pain worse.

I left the room and faced a distraught looking Will, Guy, Phil, and Dave. "How is he?" Dave asked, making everyone look up at me.

I shook my head and stifled a sob. "Not well, man," I said, making them lower their heads.

"Damn," Guy said, shaking his head. "Damn!" He repeated, a lot louder that time, making us all jump.

I sighed. "Guy, getting angry will only make things worse."

He waved me away. "I don't care. I just want my friend back."

He broke into tears, something I'd only seen from him one other time. Will quickly wrapped his large arms around his boyfriend. He was just as distraught as Guy was, however he was much better at keeping his emotions inside than the rest of us.

"He'll be okay, Guy," Will whispered, but the look on his face told me that even he didn't believe it.

We all sat in the waiting room, waiting for the next morning so that someone else could go visit Jonny, but one by one, everyone left. Dave left first, and said he had to get to sleep, since he had things to do the next day. Guy left, too, not before wishing me luck and telling me to call him if anything happened. Will left to make sure that Guy was ok, and soon it was just me and Phil.

"You really need to get some sleep," he said, my eyes fluttering open and closed.

I shook my head. "I want to see Jonny," I replied, groggily.

Phil's hand wrapped around my body, and I flinched, before easing into his friendly touch. "He'll be here, Chris. You can sleep here. I'll be up for you if you need me."

I nodded and slowly, I fell into a light slumber, my head on Phil's shoulder.

When I woke up what felt like only minutes later (though it was probably an hour or two at the least), Phil was asleep and the lights in the hospital were all off. The nurse saw me wake up and gave me a nod of acknowledgement, but telling me nothing about Jonny.

I didn't want to wake up Phil, but I also wanted to go see Jonny to see if he had improved at all. The hopeful side of me said that he was awake and waiting for me to come and take him to his baby shower. However, the logical side of me knew that nothing had probably changed about his condition, so I decided instead to just go back to sleep.

When I next woke up, Phil was shaking me awake and the lights were on again. "You can go see Jonny," he said.

I nodded. "Thanks, Phil. You can go if you want, now."

He shook his head. "I'm here for you Chris. Think of me as your temporary Jonny." He gave me a light smile, and I smiled in return.

"Thanks, man. I couldn't ask for a better friend."

I walked down the hall and met the nurse, who had been waiting for me. "How is he?" I asked.

She shrugged. "He's doing a bit better, actually. His heart has begun to return to its normal pace and he can now breathe without the breathing mask."

I took a small sigh of relief, but only let myself celebrate for a moment. "What about the twins?"

At this, the nurse bit her lip. "There are two heartbeats, but one is very weak, and that may affect the other one. We really can't say for sure if they're going to make it."

I did my best to not look disappointed, but the thought of losing our children really hurt. "But... Jonny's going to make it?"

She nodded. "At least from the way his body is reacting to the treatment, we think he's going to pull through. However, he may have permanent brain damage."

I shook my head. "How hard did he hit his head?"

"His car tumbled down a hill. It really shook him up."

My eyes filled with tears as I thought about it. "Permanent brain damage." What did that mean? Would he forget me? Would he forget everything? What would this mean for us? For the twins?

We reached Jonny's room, and I was hesitant to open the door. However, when I did so, I immediately felt regretful for being hesitant. He looked so stressed, his adorable features scrunched up into a face of pain. I wanted to tell him that it would be ok, that he was going to live.

Instead, I walked up to him and grabbed his hand. It was cold, which was so foreign to me. His hands were usually so warm, especially when he was playing his guitar. They always seemed to be on fire when he played, he was so happy and played so well. Now, they were pale and cold, like an ice cube that had just been taken out of the freezer.

I kissed it, wishing to give him some of the warmth from my lips. Why couldn't it have been me? I thought. I'm not carrying our babies. I deserve it more than you do, J.

I looked at his eyes, and desperately wished that they would open so I could see his beautiful green orbs again. I wanted him to know that I was sorry, that I loved him, and that I always would. I rubbed his hand gently with my thumb. "I love you," I whispered.

I kissed his hand again and waited, hoping he would wake up. "Please, Jonny, please..." I whispered. I rubbed his hand, so afraid. What if the nurse was wrong? What if never woke up?

"Jonny..."

Suddenly, Jonny's eyes opened. "Chris!" He shouted, shocking me.

Then, the line on the heart monitor went flat.

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~Jonny's POV~

My dreams were so strange. For example, in one of them, I saw not one girl, but two, neither of which I recognized, beckoning me to follow them. I looked behind me and saw Chris, in tears. I tried to walk back to him, but he disappeared before I could reach him.

In another one, I saw my grandfather, who had died a few years ago. He smiled at me and told me that I could come with him when I was ready. Again, I looked behind me, and I saw Chris, wishing I would come back to him. I tried to follow, but he kept getting further and further away from me.

In every dream I had, Chris was there, but I couldn't reach him. Finally, in one dream, when it was him telling me to follow him, I did, and I smiled at him before following. "Where are we going?" I asked.

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I just want to be with you."

I nodded. "I love you," I said.

He smiled, but his eyes told me that he wasn't happy. "Come on, Jonny."

I ran after him, and when I finally caught up to him, he didn't disappear this time. "Chris!" I called out, and I opened my eyes. I saw Chris standing there in front of me, his face looking shocked. My eyes didn't stay open for long, though, and I could faintly hear a beep.

"Jonny!" I heard. "Jonny!"

His voice was lost among the rest rest of the yelling and shouting coming from Lord knew where. "Chris!" I called, and there he stood, waiting for me in front of a bright light.

"Come, Jonny," he told me, and reluctantly, I followed.

"Is this where it ends?" I asked.

Chris smiled sympathetically. "It doesn't have to be," he whispered. "You and I could live together forever where we're heading, with no more pain. No more suffering. Or, we could go back to Earth and suffer some more. Life won't be easy, Jonny. It will be hard. Torturous. Tragic. Your kids might not even survive the accident," he said. "Those are your options, Jonny. Which will it be?"

I stood there for a long time, trying to decide which option sounded better. Go and forever live without the children I had so desperately wanted, or go back to Earth with the possibility of never having a child anyway, plus the pain of loss.

It wasn't an easy decision, but I knew as soon as I made it, there would be no going back...

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~Chris' POV~

The doctors had been in Jonny's room for over an hour, and no word had been given. Was he even alive? Or had they given up trying? What about the twins? Had they survived?

I put my head down in my hands and waited. I had texted Phil, and told him to tell the other guys the bad news. I couldn't move or think. I was exhausted, both mentally and physically.

"Jonny... please be ok..." I begged quietly. I couldn't live without him. My very being depended on his beauty, on his soul and his life.

I cried silently, waiting for any news of Jonny.

When the nurse returned, I almost didn't want to look up. "Mr. Martin?" She called.

I looked up, despite my doubts and my fears. "He's awake."

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~Jonny's POV~

I really didn't want to know what happened while I was unconscious, so I sort of tuned out when the doctor told me what had happened. I caught certain parts of his story, such as how I went into cardiac arrest and how my boyfriend argued to stay by my side the entire time I was unconscious.

My boyfriend. Chris, he must have been miserable. How could I ever leave him? I love him more than anything, and I could hardly believe that I almost died, leaving him behind here on earth.

When he came in and saw me in my hospital bed, he immediately broke down into tears. "Jonny!" He cried. "I thought I lost you!" He carefully wrapped his arms around me, avoiding my hospital equipment.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too, Chris," I replied, my voice hoarse and hardly recognizable. "I'm so sorry," I said.

"Don't be," he replied. "I shouldn't have let you leave my side."

I shook my head. "No, Chris. It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself."

"But I don't know what I would've done without you. You're my world, J. You and the twins... I need you."

The twins. "The twins, Chris. The twins. Are they ok? Please tell me I didn't kill them too. Please tell me they're ok."

He bit his lip. "They don't know, J," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "The heartbeat is weak. They don't know if they'll survive."

At this, I began to cry. Of course I had ruined everything. Of course right as I bring joy back into Chris' life, I fucking ruined it again.

Fuck you, Jonny, I imagined Chris saying in my head. You ruined my life. Again.

Chris held me, and I cried into him. How could I have ruined things again? How could I turn such a good situation into something so horrible?

"I love you," Chris repeated. "I can live without the twins. I will cry, and I will mourn excessively. But I cannot live without you. I refuse to go on without you, J." He grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"No, Chris. If I ever die, you need to go on. You have a whole life to live. You're beautiful, talented, smart, funny, and incredibly kind. I couldn't imagine life if you died. You need to live, is that understood?" I told him, firmly stating what I believed.

He squeezed my hand again. "Ok, J. I'll live for you."

Somehow, I thought that would someday need that speech, and that he would need it sometime soon.

~Author's Note~
Ok sorry for the delay, but COLDPLAY WAS FUCKING AMAZING AND I'M ALREADY SUFFERING FROM PCD