"I'm part of a cult: It's called the lgbt"-one of my best friends, whom upon saying that, struck pose 28 at least five times

"Heartstopper sex scene on replay"- A random 6th grader in my improv class, when asked what movie to watch

"let me caress your kneecaps"- My best friend and one of my seatmates in homeroom, who aggressively moaned after I slapped her hand (she's so weird man)

"Wassup bbg"-lgbt cult member greeting my service dog

"I would fuck those protein bars"-me

"Well we have to pick up trash"- Another friend, who proceeded to pick me up and put me in the recycling 

"Does (my irl name) wear so many bracelets to hide that she's secretly a man?"-a guy in moaning bestie's class, who is kinda right

"I like big hard balls"-homophobic guy in class (I headcannon him as bi)

"I'm hella gay. And your grammar sucks"-A guy in my improv class turning down a girl

There's so much more so this will probably be continued