these things are legit for when people have no ideas

like me

also theres swearing so be warned

also I legit made this with no service so thats a thing

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Chief: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Dog Man: The cow???
Chief: What?
Petey: Dog Man, W H Y?

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Petey: What do you think Dog Man will do for a distraction?
Chief: He'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Chief: ... or he could do that.

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Dog Man: They stole from me first!
Chief: Mhm.
Dog Man: Stole my heart...
Petey: It is still illegal to commit murder?

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Right after book 4 (Dog Man and Cat Kid):

Yolay: God, give me patience.
Petey: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Yolay: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

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Fetch 22:

Lil Petey: Can you keep a secret?
Molly: Do you know anything about my life?
Lil Petey: No I do not. Good point.

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Petey's Mom: What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Grampa: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
Petey's Mom: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

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Piggy (to the other FLEAS): Some of you may die, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

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Book 2:

Flippy: I can explain.
Chief: Can you?
Flippy: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

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Petey: Dog Man was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
Dog Man: Well, they shouldn't say "all you can eat" if they don't mean it.
Petey: Dog Man, you ate a chair.

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Dog Man: Go to Hell
Grampa, tearing up: I wish I could

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yes