I present to you:

Dog Man and Petey incorrect quotes! Also, I didn't edit these, I just copied and pasted them (except for swears). Just to be warned.

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Dog Man: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.
Petey: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

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Dog Man: What's up guys? I'm back.
Petey: What the- you can't be here. You're dead. I literally saw you die.
Dog Man: Death is a social construct.

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Petey: Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.
Dog Man: I think you mean cards.
Petey, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

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Dog Man: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Petey: I do have a sense of humor you know
Dog Man: I've never heard you laugh before
Petey: I've never heard you say anything funny

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Dog Man: You love me, right, Petey?
Petey: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.

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Petey , standing with their back turned: I've been expecting you, Dog Man.
Dog Man: How did you do that without turning around?
Petey : ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

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Dog Man: Here's some advice
Petey: I didn't ask for any
Dog Man: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

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Dog Man: Ok, maybe playing 'whose family is most dysfunctional' wasn't the best idea we've had. Petey's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get them out...

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Petey: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Dog Man: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Petey: Absolutely not.

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Dog Man: This is such a bad idea.
Petey: Then why are you coming along?
Dog Man: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

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*Dog Man and Petey are doing something absurdly dangerous*
Dog Man: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!
Petey, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.

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Petey: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Dog Man, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

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Petey: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I'm late... I was... doing things.
*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*
Dog Man: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FREAKIN' STAIRS.

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Dog Man: I was thinking I'd do some magic-
Petey: You? Magic? Dog Man, it says talent show.

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Dog Man: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Petey: That's why I carry two swords.

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Dog Man: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
Petey:
Petey: Dog Man, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...
Dog Man: *Sips coffee from bowl*

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Dog Man: How many kids do you have?
Petey: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

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Dog Man: Petey and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Petey: Sentences.
Dog Man: Don't interrupt me.

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 Petey: I'm going to take you out
Dog Man: great, it's a date!
Petey: I meant that as a threat.
Dog Man: See you at five!

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Petey: Is something burning?
Dog Man: Just my love for you.
Petey: Dog Man, the toaster is on fire.

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Dog Man: Top 30 reasons why Dog Man is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!
Petey: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FREAKING BUTT RIGHT NOW!!!

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Dog Man: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Petey, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Dog Man:
Dog Man: fsh

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Dog Man, pointing: May I sit there?
Petey: That's my lap
Dog Man: That doesn't answer my question, Petey.

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Dog Man: I made tea.
Petey: I don't want tea.
Dog Man: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.
Petey: Then why are you telling me?
Dog Man: It is a conversation starter.
Petey: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Dog Man: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

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Dog Man: Petey, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!
Petey: Well of course I have.
Petey: Have you ever tried going mad without power?
Petey: It's boring.

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Dog Man: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?
Petey: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
Dog Man: but what's the first worst thing?
*Awkward pause*
Petey: Dog Man, they...they weren't always orphans.
Dog Man:

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Dog Man: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Petey: We're both 15 years old
Dog Man: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

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Dog Man: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.
Petey: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

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Dog Man: What are your goals?
Petey: To pet all the dogs.
Dog Man, blushing a little: No, fitness goals.
Petey: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

A/N: ok, I did edit that one-

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Dog Man: I turned out perfectly fine!
Petey: Dog Man, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast
Dog Man: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

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Dog Man: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives
Petey: I wake up at 4:30 AM
Dog Man:
Dog Man: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

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Petey : And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.
Dog Man: But – that's just a trash can.
Petey: It sure is!

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Dog Man: You saved me. I owe you my life.
Petey: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not very impressed.

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Dog Man: *Accidentally hits Petey in the face*
Dog Man: *Trying to decide between saying 'I'm freaking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
Dog Man: ARE YOU FREAKING SORRY?!
Petey: What's wrong with you?!

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Dog Man: Can you keep a secret?
Petey: Do you know anything about my life?
Dog Man: No I do not. Good point.

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Dog Man: Okay, truth or dare?
Petey : Truth
Dog Man: How many hours have you slept this week?
Petey :
 Petey: ...Dare
Dog Man: Go to bed.
 Petey: I don't like this game.

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Petey: *Stubs their toe* -beep-!
Dog Man: Mind your language!
Petey: What else am I supposed to say, "Woe is I"???
Dog Man:
Petey: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

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OK IM DONE

Also I might post a one-shot for the next chapter, I don't really know. Please give me some ideas ._.