I was a baby when they first said the forbidden word-

I didn't know what it was, or the danger it posed,

So I giggled back, and they smiled as if nothing was wrong.

Little did I know what they had in store for me.

I couldn't comprehend, or understand, what they wanted

They tell me to smile, and then make me cry.

They take her with joy, and glare me down

Love for her, but for me- Scorn.

Tell me what you want, should I pretend?

Or dance? Maybe I should pirouette? 

Empty faces stare back at me, 'What a disappointment!'

What, did I do something wrong?

They tell me to talk, then laugh at my words

Disdain and disapproval shimmer in their eyes.

'What have you done?' they ask, 'don't you know-

Pretty girls keep their mouth shut'.

Alone in a crowd, lonely in a group,

I look around everywhere for help.

Nobody cares, nobody listens,

And as a child of four, I'm helpless.

'You're a strange one, not like us'

'Why don't you find girls of your kind?'

'What are you, and what is that?'

Do you know what you are saying to me?

Do you know how my heart aches,

Do you know how much I cried myself to sleep?

'You're a crybaby', they retort, 'don't you know-

You should be stronger as you grow.'

I never cried for your teasing.

I never cried for my wounds.

I cried for the little girl whose trust you lost,

I cry for the heart that still bleeds.

I can't have this, I can't do that-

I must do this, I should be like that-

Is that all you ever speak to me for?

To let me know, "Your EXPECTATIONS".