The morning sun beat heavily upon the assembled heroes and police, its rays scorching despite the time of year. Glistening drops of sweat not caused by the heat gathered on (L/N)'s skin as he stood further toward the back of the crowd, gathering in heavy beads that rolled down the back of his neck and soaked into the fabric of his mantle. His skin was cold in spite of the weather, clammy and drained of color, and the senior officer taking point on the raid sounded muted as he spoke, as if there were a wall of glass between them, muffled by the sound of (L/N)'s own beating heart.

The other heroes, Rock Lock in particular, might have questioned his resolve if they knew just how shaken he was, but (L/N) was well practiced in suppressing his emotions. There was nothing for the world to see when there was nothing for him to feel. He was quiet and reserved and so no one paid him any notice. Well, almost no one. For a moment he wondered if she would have noticed him now, but of course she would. She always noticed him.

(L/N) was pulled from his thoughts as someone tapped him on the shoulder. It took a second for him to realize they were trying to hand something to him.

"We're passing around a list of current Hassaikai members and their quirks according to our registration databases." There were dozens of names on the list, maybe hundreds, each accompanied by a description of their quirk and a picture for identification. "Commit this to memory."

(L/N)'s hands clenched into fists, crumpling the paper in his grip. The list never seemed to end. It just kept going, and the reality of what was about to happen sank in deeper with every page. For the first time in over a month his hands started to glow as cracks formed in the wall that kept out the unwanted and hid the unseen.

"Hey, it's okay." Someone said to him, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. "Just take a few deep breaths."

(L/N)'s head turned slightly toward the hand, shrugging it off as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I don't think we've officially met. My name's Mirio Togata, but my hero name is Lemillion. And you said your name was Beacon, right? It's a pleasure to meet you." The third-year student offered his hand before remembering the blindfold around (L/N)'s eyes. "Oh geez, I totally just tried to shake your hand right now." He laughed. "Sorry about that. Man, I must be coming across as a total idiot, huh?"

(L/N) considered the other man for a few seconds before deciding 'idiot' seemed an appropriate choice of words.

"Anyways, like I was saying, just take a few deep breaths. There's no need to be nervous."

(L/N) scoffed irritably. "Isn't there?" He said seriously.

The easygoing smile on Mirio's face faltered for a moment. That wasn't the response he'd been expecting. Usually people felt reassured, even if it took a little convincing, like with Amajiki. But there was something in (L/N)'s voice that stopped Mirio dead in his tracks. Something in the way he stood that told him he wasn't the type of person that would believe his 'everything's going to be alright' speech. He didn't have the same fire that burned hot inside his soul, the raging flames that blazed a path to victory. The fire that Mirio shared with Deku, and Amajiki, and Red Riot, and Sir, and nearly every other person here. No, (L/N) was different.

His fire burned cold. And standing so close, Mirio felt a shiver go down his spine.

"Sorry," Lemillion uncomfortably rubbed the back of his neck and tried to keep up his smile, "I was just trying to lighten the mood, ya know?"

"Some things have weight for a reason." (L/N) said, finding himself repeating the same words he'd spoken to Kirishima earlier that same day.

The smile fell from Mirio's face as (L/N)'s fire overpowered his own. "You're right." He said, allowing the brightness in his tone to disappear. "To tell you the truth, I can barely breathe myself. I must seem pretty pathetic, huh." He looked down at his own shaking hand. "Telling you not to be nervous when I'm the one that's scared."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." (L/N) observed. "But fear makes you careful. Cautious. Better to be afraid than reckless."

Mirio looked over at (L/N), trying to read his expression beneath the blindfold. "You really think so?"

"The world would be better off if people were a bit more afraid."

"If they're afraid of the right things, maybe." Mirio said thoughtfully. "Even still, I don't think that's any way to live your life. You can't go around being afraid of everything all the time, ya know?" Mirio smiled. The brightness returned to his voice, but was immediately dimmed by the darkness in (L/N)'s.

"A lot more people would be hurt if I didn't." He said with a furrowed brow.

Togata bit his lips together with a troubled expression. From the tone of his voice, he could tell (L/N) was speaking from experience. "But like, where would the world be if everyone was scared all the time?" He countered. "If we were all too scared to chase after what we wanted, or to tell the person we like how we felt about them? What if everyone was too scared to stand up for what's right?

"And you're right. Some things do have weight for a reason. But that's why I have to make light of it all, because if I didn't, the weight of it would crush me. It would crush all of us. And if us heroes lose faith, so will everyone else, and what type of world would we be in then? So that's why, no matter how dark the world gets, I'm going to keep on smiling!"

With a hearty chuckle, Lemillion put on the biggest grin he could muster and beamed at the younger hero who looked sideways at him with bizarre puzzlement, and perhaps, Mirio thought hopefully, just the feintest trace of understanding.

"Good. The two of you have met already." Both Lemillion and Beacon turned to find Eraser Head approaching them, hands stored lazily in his pockets. "Sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak with Beacon before we get started."

"You got it boss!" Mirio saluted animatedly. "It was good talking to you."

Turning on the spot in a way that made his cape flap in the air, Togata high-stepped away, swinging his arms with his elbows bent at ninety degrees.

Aizawa kept his eyes fixated on Mirio as he slouched over to (L/N). "So, any thoughts?"

"On what?"

"On him." Eraser Head indicated his head in Lemillion's direction. "Mirio Togata. He's an interesting character, wouldn't you say?"

The two watched as Mirio goofily flexed his muscles in front of Djinn and Lionheart. Lionheart laughed and clapped him hard on the back, causing him to stumble forward, his cape falling over his face before all three devolved into a fit of laughter.

"I suppose that's a word for it." Beacon frowned. "So," he turned to his teacher, "here to give me the big pep talk?"

"Not quite." Eraser replied. "I just want to make sure you don't have any reservations going into this."

(L/N) unconsciously made a small movement of his shoulders, the file on the Hassaikai crinkling in his grip. "I'm f-"

"Because if you do," Aizawa stepped around, so he was directly in front of (L/N), "you need to let me know. Now."

"What do you want?" (L/N) rumbled, meeting his teacher's steely expression with his own.

"I want you to take this seriously." Aizawa answered in a measured tone.

An angry breath escaped (F/N) at this, flaring his nostrils. All the ridiculous things he'd heard from the other students, their frivolity and imprudent demeanors, and he was the one not taking this seriously?

"I overheard your conversation with Togata." Eraser said. "And I know how you feel about heroes. But if you're not prepared to do what's necessary to ensure the success of the mission, you're a liability."

"Is it a liability to be cautious?" (L/N) asked rhetorically.

"Caution is good," Aizawa responded dryly, "but there's a thin line between caution and hesitation, and I've watched too many colleagues die because someone failed to act."

"And how many people have died because of reckless abandonment?" (L/N) countered. "How much better off would the world be if people gave more thought to the consequences of their actions?"

"The world doesn't work that way, kid. You know better than most that life is painted in shades of grey, not everything is under our control. Sometimes, accidents happen. Isn't that right?" As he watched (L/N) break his gaze, Aizawa had to remind himself that it was a good thing, because (L/N) understood something that none of his classmates did. He knew what the guilt of hurting someone felt like. And though it weighed heavily on his soul, it was that very same weight that would keep him grounded. If nurtured the right way, that guilt could save lives. "As heroes we have to find the balance between exercising control and acting decisively. I know it's something you're capable of. You seem to operate pretty well in those grey areas. But you still have difficulty when things are black and white. And the fact is, at the end of the day, it's either us or them."