Chapter XV: Deeper Conversations
Alternative Chapter Title: The Shape of You
It had been nearly two weeks since that night. Since Yaoyorozu had confronted (L/N) and given him an ultimatum. Her heart still fluttered when she thought about the way they sat there. The way he held her hand so tightly. He started opening up to her after that. It was slow, but it was progress. They walked together in the hallway, their hands joined between them so she could act as his guide. At least that's what she told herself while trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach.
It was in the past few days she realized she might have feelings for the young man. Feelings more serious than a silly schoolgirl crush. Just a few days ago she had convinced him to join her and her friends for lunch. He had clung to her arm like a frightened child as they made their way through the sea of students that was the cafeteria. When they sat down, their classmates had been so shocked to see (L/N) that Kaminari accidentally fried his phone and Uraraka unconsciously started making the table float. He held her hand underneath the table as they bombarded him with questions, and later he called her 'Momo', right in front Ashido. She and Uraraka were grilled on their love life later than night.
(L/N) hadn't joined them for lunch since that day. Yaoyorozu had the feeling the whole experience had, understandably, been a little overwhelming for him. When she offered to have lunch, just the two of them, he declined. He insisted that he didn't want her sacrificing time with her friends for him. Instead, they shared their evenings reading together, huddled together in some corner of the first-floor common area, occasionally escaping the noise of their classmates by retreating to her room where they sat together on her too large bed.
There was a feeling of pride, she noticed, that she felt when people saw him with her. Like she had been trusted with something no one else had. But when she saw him talking with Kendo after training the other day, she realized that sense of pride was unfounded. Even though they rarely spoke, Kendo knew (L/N) in a way she herself never had. It made her jealous, and she sadly realized everything she knew about (L/N) she only knew because Kendo had told her. (L/N) himself still hadn't gifted her with his trust.
She tried to get him to talk to her when they were alone. She desperately wanted to know more about him. Who he was behind the walls he had built for himself. She had glimpsed parts of it before, and every peek made her eager for more. At the same time though, she was worried of pushing too hard. She didn't want to scare him into retreating further into himself. It would be a long and hard journey, she knew, but as they sat together in her bed, shoulders pressed up against one another, she knew it would be worth it.
"Do you have a favorite color?" She asked him as she stared fondly at their interlocked hands.
"What does that have to do with counterpoint?" (L/N) asked, confused as to how the question had anything to do with their conversation about the works of Baroque composer, Johann Sebastian Bach.
"Nothing." Yaoyorozu laughed. "I just... I don't know... wanted to know more about you."
"A-About me?" (L/N)'s brow furrowed in confusion. "Why?"
Yaoyorozu looked up at him, taken aback by his question. "Uh, because... well, because we're friends."
"We are?" He asked, letting go of her hand.
"I thought we were." Yaoyorozu said sadly, starting to become worried.
"Oh." (L/N) said plainly. "Okay."
"Aren't we?"
"Sorry." He said very quickly. "I just... I haven't had a friend in a long time. Not since...since..."
'Kendo'. Yaoyorozu thought, enviously. "Well," she said, "now I'm your friend. And as your friend, I'd like to get to know you. And maybe you'd like to know me."
"I-I still don't understand." (L/N) said. "Why do you want to know anything about me?"
"Well, it's what friends do." She said. "Like, I know you and Kendo were close when you were younger. What types of things did you tell her?"
"We... We never talked about me." He said slowly.
"You didn't?" Yaoyorozu asked, and he shook his head. "Then what did you talk about?"
"We talked about the things she liked." (L/N) answered. "About how she wanted to go to UA and become a hero."
"But you never talked about yourself?"
(L/N) shook his head again and Yaoyorozu realized that maybe she had been wrong in thinking Kendo knew (L/N) better than she did. That maybe (L/N) had never really had a real friend in his life.
"Well, I'd like to learn about you. I-If that's okay."
(L/N) nodded once and retook her hand in his. "Uh, what was the question again?"
"I asked if you had a favorite color."
"You... know I can't see, right?"
"I know." Yaoyorozu said with a small laugh. "But you're able to feel the world around you using your quirk. I guess I just figured that meant you could still tell different colors apart."
"I can." (L/N) said. "But it's something that I feel."
"What do you mean?"
"Well," he said thoughtfully, "think of it like, like when you're cold. What does cold look like? What does hot look like? You can't see temperatures; you just feel them."
"I think I understand." Yaoyorozu said. "Um, is it okay if I ask you a more personal question? When you dream, can you see color then?"
"I used to." (L/N) answered. "Sometimes I think I can almost remember what they looked like, but... not anymore."
"I'm sorry." Yaoyorozu said, suddenly feeling guilty for having asked the question in the first place. "I can't imagine how awful that must be."
(L/N) shrugged as if to say, 'it is what it is', but Yaoyorozu could tell her question had caused at least some amount of grief.
"So," she asked slowly, being careful to phrase her next question more delicately, "when you say you can see with your quirk, what exactly does that mean?"
"Well, like I said, I can differentiate colors, just not in the way you do."
"What about shapes and objects?"
"It's a bit more defined." He answered. "But without physically touching something, all I get is a vague image. Enough to know where something is, but the detail is... lacking."
"That's so interesting." Yaoyorozu said thoughtfully. "And all this time I thought you knew what I looked like." She joked in an attempt to lighten the mood.
"Well, I do." (L/N) told her. "I know you have black hair, and that your eyes are just a few shades lighter. I know you have a small mole at the base of your neck and that there's a scar just above your left eye that's still healing, but the difference in color is so small that you probably can't even see it. But... I suppose you are correct. I don't really know what you look like."
"Would... Would you like to?"
Sitting up on her knees, Yaoyorozu gently guided (L/N)'s hands to her face. He hesitated for a moment, his palms hovering just millimeters away from her cheek, almost as if he were afraid of crossing some invisible line. With a gentle smile, she closed the small distance between them, holding the back of his hand as it gently caressed her soft features.
Her heartbeat quickened as his fingers softly glided across her smooth skin. The pads of his thumbs traced beneath her eyes while his forefingers brushed along her jawline. Blood rushed to her face, and she was sure he would be able to feel the heat in her cheeks as he carefully felt the shape of her nose. From her cheekbones he glided up to her forehead, delicately moving the strands of hair that had fallen into her face. Her eyes closed and she leaned further into his touch as he traced back down the side of her face and inhaled sharply at the feeling of his thumb ghosting over her parted lips where it lingered, just for an extra second at the corner of her mouth.
After several minutes, once he had finished, he slowly withdrew his hands, leaving her longing for his touch. Her eyes fluttered open, but she couldn't look at him, embarrassed at how he had left her breathless. Tucking several loose strands of hair behind her ear, she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye to find his face just as red as hers.
"So, do you... know what I look like, now?" She asked, folding her hands in her lap.
"Y-Yes." He answered. "I think so."
"Good." She said. "I'm glad."
A few seconds silence lingered between them, then (L/N) swung his legs over the side of the bed. "Uh, it's late. I should probably..."
"Right." Yaoyorozu agreed. "We should both probably get some rest. After all, it's a big day tomorrow."
(L/N) nodded. "Do you feel ready?"
"I think so." Yaoyorozu answered halfheartedly. "As ready as I'm going to be, I suppose. What about you?"
"I don't know." He told her. "But to be honest with you, I don't really care."
"Right." She said quietly. "Oh, and (F/N)." She said, just as he was about to close the door behind him.
"Yes?"
"If you... er... if you ever forget what I look like..." she blushed, "you can..."
"Right." He cut across. "Um... goodnight, Momo."
"Goodnight."
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