I knew Poe would be in trouble with my Mum for his attack on the Dreadnaught, but since I'd not seen the attack I didn't realise quite the extent of her anger until she slapped him across the face, harsh enough to make him hiss in pain. I was stood by one of the monitors examining the data of the attack, watching as it assessed just how many pilots we lost, but even as I tried to concentrate on that I could tell Poe hadn't expected such a punishment, his face twisted in a frown of confusion and hurt. His expression made me want to feel sorry for him, but I refused to feel the emotion of symathy, not since we'd lost over half of our X-Wing fleet because of his stubbornness. I hated seeing him hurt, but he deserved it, considering how many people died.

"You're demoted," Mum said, her bluntness sounding harsh and clearly cutting into Poe like it was a knife. It even took me back, not expecting her to do such a thing, even though it made complete sense.

"What?" Poe exclaimed, his gaze flicking between me and my mother, his eyes widening whenever he glanced at me as if he was asking for help, though I refused to get involved. It was his decision to continue the attack even though I'd tried to call him off, so it was his responsibility to face the consequences. "Wait! We took down a dreadnaught!"

"At what cost?" I spoke up, trying to make sure my voice wasn't shaking as I gestured to the data showing how many people we'd lost, and whilst Mum looked grateful that I'd said something to show she wasn't alone in her mindframe, Poe looked as if I'd just betrayed him, and that seemed to sting.

"If you start an attack, you follow through," he explained, looking between the two of us again, giving me a pointed look. "You of all people know that, Luce, what happened to 'whatever it takes'?"

'Whatever it takes' was what we had said as teenagers when we snuck off on our solo mission, just us and a few friends. That was when the fight still seemed fun and exciting, when we both hadn't realised just how exausting being fugitives could be. I thought Poe had realised with me that the mantra of 'whatever it takes' is great, until it involves other people dying for our ideas. It was a fine phrase when it applied to me doing whatever it took to defeat the First Order, but I didn't expect anyone else following me and them getting killed. Poe clearly hadn't realised that yet.

"That doesn't work when it's other people dying," I muttered, not meeting his eye. I tried to remember just how afraid I had been when he disobeyed orders, tried to remember to stand my own ground, though I was struggling, forever hating whenever Poe and I disagreed.

"Get your head out of your cockpit!" Mum exclaimed, sounding exasperated, and I understood completely, considering she'd spent the majority of her life surrounded by people like Poe, people who were willing to sacrifice anything for the cause. "There are some things you can't solve by jumping in an X-Wing and blowing it up. I need you to learn that,"

"There were heroes on that mission," Poe said, looking hurt for a second, and my immediate instinct was to comfort him, even if I agreed with Mum.

"Dead heroes," My mother nodded. "No leaders,"

With that, she turned and left Poe and I, going to look at another monitor. I hesitated, knowing I should follow, but I wanted to stay with Poe. I was mad at him for his attack, knowing it was stupid, reckless bravery, but yet I still loved him and didn't want to see him upset. I moved closer to him, noticing he was staring down at the floor, clenching his hands in frustration, and as I wrapped my hand around his arm he jumped, flinching away. That stung too, and as I bit my lip I sensed the confusion of emotions within him. He'd thought he was doing the right thing by continuing the attack, following his instincts, but it had resulted in his demotion and the knowledge that he'd disapointed my mother, his hero, and me, the woman he loves.

When my mind arrived at that point, I realised just how little Poe and I knew about our feelings for each other. We'd both said that we loved each other, and I knew that I needed him in my life. He'd been my rock since I was a kid, one of the only constants I'd had in an ever-changing world. When I exiled myself on Jakku there was too big of a whole in my life from the academy and my Dad leaving to understand just how much I cared for him, and wanted him. Each time we'd kissed or he took hold of my hand I felt thrilled, happier than I ever had done in my life, or maybe that was just because of how much suffering I'd been through lately that I forgot what happiness felt like. Whenever I was around him I seemed to momentarily forget about everything else, but at the end of it all were in a war. The war was all that should matter, as sad as that was, even if it meant it got between the two of us. Poe and I both wanted the same thing, an end to the First Order and peace among the galaxy. We wanted each other too, but that could wait until we'd finished the war.

"Poe, I'm sorry," I began, reaching out once more to take hold of his arm, and surprisingly he didn't pull away, turning to face me properly, his eyes meeting mine, his expression conveying his annoyance at the situation. "I didn't want you demoted, I didn't think the General would do that. I know how much that title meant to you,"

"But you agree with her," he stated, looking into my eyes with a look of conflict, because as uch as I could tell he cared about me, he also disagreed with me.

"Yes, of course I do," I nodded, my eyebrows creasing together. "I understand why you did what you did. Seven years ago, maybe I'd have agreed with your decision,"

"But you don't now?" He concurred irritatedly. I bit my lip again, taing a deep breath, and I knew he could tell how conflicted I was. "I thought we were in this together,"

"We are, but this thing is bigger than us," I explained, trying to remain calm, even though I could feel the emotions stirring in me; upset, irritation, every emotion I promised myself I would try and push away. "We're in this together, all of us, and that included all those we lost today,"

I saw him clench his jaw slightly, and I knew he understood what I was trying to say. Regret flashed across his eyes, his gaze flicking down to his boots for a moment before he took hold of my shoulders, pulling me closer to him, hugging me tightly. It was as if he was trying to apologise for his stubbornness, especially as he pushed a kiss against my temple, stroking my braided hair. As much as I loved being held by him, I knew such displays of affection were not appropriate, not on the command deck, so I gently pulled away from him, taking hold of his hand instead as I offered him a reassuring smile. He squeezed my hand three times, making me sigh contentedly, knowing I'd forgiven him. He was reckless and stubborn, but his heart and his intentions were in the right place.

"Everything I do is for the good of the Resistance," he told me, honesty and desperation in his tone, and my heart ached as I worried he thought I didn't know his intentions.

"Of course, Poe, I know that," I nodded encouragingly, before gesturing my head off to my mother. "And she knows that too, she just wants to see you exercise a bit more caution and responsibility. She wants you to be a leader,"

"A leader like you," He stated bluntly, raising one of his eyebrows, and I knew as serious as he sounded he was just teasing. "How long do you think she'll stay mad at me?"

"Not long, though I've seen her hold a grudge," I reckoned before cracking another smile as I lead him off towards one of the monitors in the centre of the room where Finn was stood looking over the map of the galaxy. "Remember that time we were based on one of the moons of Bespin and we snuck off?"

"What happened?" Finn asked, looking at us curiously, and I sensed jealousy within him.

He didn't have any stories of his youth like Poe and I had. Sure we'd both been teenagers when my mother started the resistance against the First Order, me being fourteen and Poe being nearly eighteen, but we'd managed to find fun sometimes, and those times ended up being my most treasured memories. Finn hadn't had any of that, taken from a family who loved him and forced into fitting into a regime he wasn't even allowed to question. I always thought I'd suffered, but Finn's past hurt me to think about, and it reminded me just how lucky I had been, because despite everything, Poe and I had experienced freedom, and we'd known what it was like to live, even if that experience had been cut short by the war.

"Oh, we managed to find the only cantina on the planet and came back to base blind drunk," I shrugged, trying to make the whole experience seem rather casual, not wanting to remind my mother of more trouble Poe had caused, even if the worse we had done was wake up the rest of the base with our drunken singing.

Poe chuckled at the memory, squeezing my hand as he grinned at me, and for the first time in a while, I felt actually happy, despite everything else going on. I liked the way being around Poe made me feel. It had always been that way, but lately, ever since we'd reunited a few days ago, things had felt so different, a way that I'd never felt. After shutting my emotions off from everything on Jakku, it was nice to experience such feelings, especially since they were for my best friend, except was he really my best friend still, or was he now something more? Not that we had the time to figure that out, not on the command deck, and not whilst we were in the middle of a war.

"So we're looking for a new base?" I asked, calling over to my mother as she stood with one of the Commanders, D'acy, as they looked over one of the monitors. "It'll need to be far away, the further the better, somewhere remote,"

"That's a good idea, General, but it'll need to be somewhere with enough power to send out a distress signal to our allies on the outer rim," D'acy answered me and I nodded, frowning as I tried to think of somewhere.

"Why don't we just go to the outer rim?" A voice asked, and I turned round to see Erika and Izzy, the two of them still in their flight jumpsuits, though they both had their old Academy jackets on over the top.

"Thats's an idea," I thought out-loud, pointing over at Erika as the two came further into the room, standing next to me by the monitors. "What's the point in sending out signals when we could actually go out and find our allies?"

"Too risky," my mother shook her head in disagreement. "Not whilst Rey is out looking for Luke. It's best if we all stay together. We find a base to settle on, and then we can discuss you all going out on a misson,"

"Alright," I sighed in agreement. "Well, how about-"

I was cut off by the sound of a siren blaring out. A sense of dread filled me, wondering what could have gone wrong as I turned to look at my mother, both us us frowning at each other. Both us us knew though, deep down. The First Order had somehow found us.

"Proximity alert!" Someone called in alarm. "They found us!"

Before I could stop myself, I'd ran to the window, trying to push away my fear, but I couldn't help it, not when the sight outside in the sky confirmed my feelings. Outside was the First Order fleet, and leading it was a ship that I recognised with dread, every feeling within me screaming at me for us to flee. It was Snoke's ship, meaning he was so close to us. The memory of his torture filled my mind and I felt my chest tighten slightly, especially as I turned back to the rest of the resistance, trying to appear calm, but that was suddenly impossible when I saw the fear in Finn's eyes, even Poe seeming panicked. His ship wasn't too close, but close enough for me to sense the forces of darkness, the dark dawning on me and weighing me down the way it had done when I'd been in his presence before, the way I had felt when I was fighting with Kylo Ren.

"That's impossible, that's Snoke's ship!" Poe exclaimed in disbelief, running over to join me by the window. "You've gotta be kidding me!"

"What can we do?" I asked, trying to distract myself by taking on my role as General, taking a deep breath as I looked over to my mother, hoping she would make me feel calmer, but for once even she looked worried, her eyebrows creased together in thought.

"Can we jump to lightspeed?" Poe asked, his gaze flicking between me and my mother urgently.

"We have enough fuel to jump to lightspeed," Connix called from her station. "Just one jump, though,"

"Do it, we gotta get away," Poe insisted urgently, and part of me admired his determination, bouncing right back from his demotion, and I remembered how much this fight meant to him.

That was when realisation hit me. Hadn't we just come out of lightspeed, so how did they manage to find us? Something wasn't right, and one glance at my mother told me that she was thinking the same and as I took my place at her side, I glanced out of the window once more at the fleet. If we jumped to lightspeed again, we would be out of fuel, and so what would happen if they tracked us again?

"Wait!" I called, and it felt as though everyone had turned to look at me, Poe looking at me with a bewildered expression.

"They tracked us through lightspeed," My mother stated, and I saw the realisation dawn on the others around us.

"How..." Erika muttered, frowning at me, and I couldn't help but wonder if she and Izzy felt the dark like I did, if it felt as crushing to them as it did to me.

"It's impossible," Finn stated, and I trusted his judgement, considering that, if anyone knew First Order tech, it would be him.

"Yes, and they've done it," Mum nodded in agreement.

"We can't jump to lightspeed, if we do, we'll be out of fuel," I stated, trying to stay calm. "And then they'll have us,"

It didn't take a Jedi to see how worried I was at the resistance's fate, or to even notice what Snoke's presence had done to me, my hands shaking slightly as I clenched my fists in nerves. Poe knew me well enough to tell when I saw scared, even when I was trying my best to hide it, and so he ran over to me, took hold of my hands and kissed my cheek in an act of reassurance.

"Not yet they don't," he said firmly, stroking my hair and kissing my cheek again, and I wondered if he was doing that to reassure me, or to calm his own nerves.

He didn't focus on me for too long, which I admired, knowing our prority would forever be the Resistance. He pulled his hands from mine, standing up a little straighter as he turned to my mother, clearly not upset with her anymore, his face urgent and respectful.

"General, permission to jump in an X-Wing and blow something up?" he asked, trying to hide his smirk, and I knew that no matter his fear, he would always be excited when it came to flying out in his ship to face the enemy.

"Permission granted," she nodded, and before I had chance to wish him luck, Poe had taken off out of the command deck and down towards the X-Wing bay.

"Other General, permission to follow Comm-, I mean, Captain Dameron and help him blow something up?" Izzy asked me, nudging her sister beside her, clearly still bitter about my response to their previous attack given the sarcastic way she raised her eyebrow at me.

"Go, may the force be with you!" I nodded in encouragement, offering them both a small smirk before I turned to the rest of the crew, deciding to bury my nerves in my work. "Admiral, turn this ship around! Make sure all shields are down, this is no drill, the First Order are outside and are ready to fuck us all up!"

"Language," my mother hissed quietly, though I could see there was a flicker of something in her eye, almost like pride.

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes, too busy focusing on the task ahead to remember my mother's lesson in etiquette. "Everyone to your stations, we need to-"

I cut myself off as a pain crossed my stomach, feeling as though I'd just been stabbed, not to mention the burning pain in my shoulder blade right where my scar was. An overwhelming rush of darkness ran over me, pins and needles taking over my whole body, the way it had done only a few days before when I had encountered my brother in the forest. He was close, and my mother and I exchanged a look to each other, both of us knowing Kylo Ren was in his own TIE fighter ship, part of the attack fleet storming over to us. Instantly I felt panic seize me, realising that he was so close, the man who had killed my father now coming back for me. Maybe it was guilt too, after what I had done to him on Starkiller Base, electrocuting him and scarring his face, but whatever it was, as I closed my eyes for a brief second, it was like it was in the fighter with him, sat with my brother, feeling his every emotion.

"Ben," I whispered, his birth name croaking out of my mouth as I realised just how conflicted he was.

He was scared. He was in pain, and I could feel the fear radiating off him. I didn't want to care, tried to remember my father and my friends at the academy, but Ben was still my little brother,  and the feelings of darkness surrounding him was warping him beyond his will. I wondered if my mother could feel it too, but I knew that obviously she could, otherwise she wouldn't look as hurt as she did, her hands clenching onto one of the monitors, looking off into space as if she was looking at him.

"Luci, get off the deck," she said in desperation, turning to me and grabbing hold of my arm. "I can handle it up here, you go to the X-Wings and direct them,"

"What about-" I began, ready to mention my brother, but then I lost courage when I saw the look in her eye, the ghosts of our past clearly running through our mind. "Alright, General,"

I turned and began to run off the deck, and when I realised Finn had been standing watching me, I grabbed hold of his arm and we began to run together. Except, as we reached the door, I felt something inside of my telling me to turn and say goodbye to my mother. I assumed it was just my anxiety, encouraged by my fear of the oncoming attack, but I followed my instincts, turning my head to look at my mother one final time. I offered her a salute of respect and a smirk, not realising how similar that gesture was to the last one my father had given her.

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