Izzy, Erika and I entered the resistance base together, arms linked. My mind was forced as far away from the incident with the Stormtroopers as possible, wanting to just enjoy having my friends back with me. What I did in the forest still terrified me, making my nerves slightly on edge, and I needed to know what happened to cause it and what was happening to me with the force, especially after what Jax had said. However, they seemed to be questions only an experienced force user like my Uncle could answer, and depending on if the resistance had the rest of the map meant I may get the answers soon enough, so there was no point worrying now.

When we entered, the twins both hit me on the arm, running off to go join some X-Wing technicians as Poe approached me, putting his hand on my shoulder. Grinning, I turned around to face him. He squeezed my arm, looking me in the eye. I wondered if he could see that I was thinking about my uncle, and about the stormtroopers I'd killed.

"Where's Finn?" I asked straight away, trying to make sure the conversation didn't go onto me.

"With the generals, giving them information on the First Order's base," He told me, smiling.

"He's a real brave guy, I'd probably be dead without him," I thought out loud.

"I would be too," he smiled. "Come on, your Mum wants to see you, she's looking at the map to your uncle,"

"Does she know it's incomplete?" I asked nervously, biting my lip. Poe shook his head, taking my arm as we walked over to one of the holo-desks, the projection of the part of the map shining up in the air.

I took my place between my mother and Threepio, placing my hand over my mum's, knowing how she was feeling. I knew how much she wanted my Uncle back. She once told me that one of the best things that ever happened to her was finding her brother in the middle of the rebellion. She told me that through everything that happened with Alderaan, and even later on in their lives when the republic lost most of their power after they voted in favour of the First Order, Luke had been her rock. Through everything that happened after losing Ben and my father, all she wanted was my uncle for some stability, but he left her too, and her loss of him shook her up even more. Part of me was angry at him for leaving us, but another part of me understood he did it in good intentions; the Knights of Ren would have tracked him to the Resistance and we'd all be dead.

Glancing over at my mum's face, I saw that she was as upset as I thought she would be, though she hid it well. I was good at reading her though, and so was my dad, who looked over to me, seeing that I knew how she felt as well as he did. I saw the conflict in his eyes as he wanted to comfort her but also didn't want to push her.

"Leia..." He sighed, sounding genuinely upset. Well, of course he was genuinely upset, I thought. My Uncle Luke was like a brother to him, and I knew he missed him as much as I did.

"Don't do that," she muttered sharply, before walking off. I bit my lip, knowing how much this hurt her, but yet she was still putting on a strong front. I had always admired my mother's strength.

"Do what?" He sighed exasperatedly after her.

"Anything," she called back and I struggled to not snigger at this exchange; it seemed so normal of them to be bickering like this.

My father glanced over to Threepio, the golden droid shaking his head before muttering "Princesses,"

Dad sighed again as I hit his arm, gesturing for him to go after her. He gave me a look, telling me to stay out of it, which I answered with a glare. The stare I gave him made him look almost nervous, and when I elbowed his arm again, nodding my head in the direction of mum, he sighed, before following her. Poe took hold of my arm, squeezing it in support and I guessed he thought that the sight of the incomplete map was upsetting for me.

"We'll get the rest of that map, Luci," he reassured me. I nodded, my eyes following my parents.

"I know we will, but just shush for a second, I wanna hear what their saying," I muttered, stroking his arm, even though I didn't necessarily agree with what I was saying, since it was hard enough to get one small piece of the map, never mind the rest of it.

"I'm only trying to help," Dad tried to reason with her and although Mum's back was to me, I knew she was rolling her eyes.

"When did that ever help? And don't say the Death Star!" She muttered and I had to stop myself laughing. This was how I always remembered them, except now they sounded almost sad as they argued, like all their history made it too hard to even bicker.

"I'm gonna go after them, I've waited seven years to see them together again, I'm not missing their bickering," I told Poe, squeezing his arm, offering him a smile. He hugged me gently, before I went running after my parents. Despite the situation, I couldn't help but smile. They were together, even if they were arguing.

"Hey, listen to me," My dad said, almost sharply, making her turn around quickly to face him. She sighed before meeting his eye. Hiding behind a wall, I didn't want to ruin their moment, so I peaked my head around the corner, making sure I was mostly hidden. "I know every time you look at me you think of him... We lost our son, forever"

"No, it was Snoke, he seduced our son to the dark side," My mother said, and considering how they had previously been talking to each other, it almost sounded gentle. I hated how they were talking about Ben like he was dead. "We can still save him," That part made my heart skip a beat. I'd spent so long dreaming of turning Ben back to the light that it had almost become a fantasy, but hearing my mother say it out made it seem real, like it could actually happen.

I watched as dad lowered his gaze slightly, before looking back up at my mother. He didn't know the force as well as my mother did, he must have previously thought the dark side was a one-way road, but even now, now he knew Ben could be saved, his grieving face made the task seem impossible.

"If Luke couldn't reach him, how could I?" My father rarely doubted himself, but occasionally as a kid, I heard him tell my mother that my Uncle would have made a much better father than him. Honestly, I always thought Han Solo was the best dad in the galaxy, though I understood why he would feel like Luke was a better role-model; Luke was a jedi, whereas my father was a smuggler, sometimes considered a criminal.

My mother flashed him another soft, gentle smile before speaking again. "Luke's a Jedi, you're his father. There's still light in him, I know it, and I know Luci can feel it too. We can bring him back. Me, you,"

At her last two words, I couldn't stand to stay hidden any longer. My mother hand just grouped her and my father together, did that mean she wanted to be with him again? Did that mean she still loved him, even after everything he put her through in the last five years? It felt stupid, hanging onto those two words with such hope, but all I wanted was my family together. I hated having them apart, even as a little girl, I hated when my parents were separated because of work. It felt like I was from a broken family, and now I technically was part of a separated family, I wanted nothing more than to bring it back together.

"Does that mean you'll get back together?" I asked hurriedly before I could stop myself. Both of them turned around quickly, not expecting me eavesdropping.

"Lucinda, you know that..." Dad began talking.

"We just want to get your brother back, like you do, you know that he's our priority," Mum took hold of my hand, stroking my hair with her free hand.

"I know we all want Ben back, but I want my parents back too," I muttered, looking between the two of them. The conversation was making dad look uncomfortable, and even mum looked like she wasn't enjoying the topic.

"Look, kid, your mother and I... We..." Dad stumbled, not meeting my eye, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"Things are harder than just..." Mum trailed off too as they looked at each other. "There's a war going on,"

"There was a war last time but that didn't stop you," I shot back at her, thinking of all the stories I'd been told about the Galactic Civil War and how my parents relationship formed as they fought against the Empire. "It would be so much better if we were together. Getting Ben back would be easier if we were united, a family," I reached out and took hold of my father's hand with the hand not being held by my mother.

"I know this is what you want, Luci, but it's harder than that, you won't understand," dad sighed, pulling his hand away from mine, looking my mother in the eye. "I'm sure your mother agrees with me,"

"I understand completely!" I snapped, crossing my arms irritatedly. "Why wouldn't I understand?"

"You're still just a kid," he explained poorly, causing me to glare at him.

"I'm twenty two, dad, I'm not a kid anymore," I objected, still glaring at him. "I understand love and sith like that,"

"No, you don't, Lucinda," my mother defended my father, which irritated me. Normally she sided with me whenever my father and I would argue. This whole conversation was making me feel so belittled, like I really was just a little girl again.

"Just because you've had the same crush on that pilot kid since you were ten doesn't mean you understand how the world works," Dad said before laughing slightly. I took a step back from him, frowning.

"I don't love Poe!" I snarled slightly, angry that once again someone was accusing me of loving Poe, and this time it was my father.

"Well you should tell him that, save any confusion, considering he loves you," he raised an eyebrow. My anger building up inside of me at the situation, I had to remind myself of the forest to calm myself down, not wanting to hurt anyone.

"This is completely irrelevant anyway," my mum interjected quickly. "Luci, let me talk to Han alone,"

"Fine," I muttered, struggling not to sound bitter. "I wanted to take a shower anyway, and then I'll see Artoo. Even if he has shut himself down, I be more appreciated in that conversation,"  I turned around so quickly my hair - which had practically fell out of the braid - slapped me in the face.

As I stormed off, I replayed the events over in my head, realising how stupid I'd acted. Of course I didn't understand love. So much of my life had been dedicated to being a Jedi I'd tried to shut out love completely. Maybe so much so that I'd made myself blind to love around me. Maybe my parents fell out of love with each other long before we lost Ben. Maybe Poe did love me. Maybe I was just too self-involved to see it all.

That was my problem. I was far too self-involved. I tried to act like someone who understood everyone's feelings, I mean, I was meant to be a Jedi, for force-sake. All I ever cared about as a kid was becoming a Jedi, and because of that, I made myself blind to eveything happening around me. Sure, I saw the First Order rise up, I saw the First Order destroy my homes all over the galaxy, I saw the Knights of Ren kill all my friends, but did I ever see the little things? I never saw my brother turning to the darkside, I never saw my parents fall out of love.  I never saw the signs of my life turning this way, and now I was so self-involved that I didn't want my parents back together for their own good, but for mine. I'd let my own interests cloud my judgement, and my vision.

I didn't even see Poe fall in love with me. It was obvious now, now that it had been pointed out to me by my father. The lingering glances, the nights he'd spend at my side as I strugged with my anxiety. The way he'd kiss my hair, the way he'd laugh when I'd make a joke, even if it was awful. The way he'd hug me when he'd get back from missions, the way he'd hold my hand when I would talk about the Academy. The way his eyes would light up as I'd tell stories, the way he'd smile when I'd walk into a room. He'd never even said it, but now it was so obvious. But did I love him? I didn't know. I felt like for the first time in a long time I was understanding the world properly, and I was still so confused.

Too caught up in my thoughts, I turned a corner quickly, only to bump into someone. Clumsy as usual, I fell back slightly, looking up at the person I bumped into.

"Sorry," I muttered, my eyes gazing up, only to see an armed stormtrooper blocking the corridor. She was different to the rest of them though, armoured head to toe in chrome armour, unlike the other troopers who wore white. A captain, I assumed, and she held her blaster pointed at my chest. I took another step back, reaching into my holster for my blaster. "I thought all you First Order scum had fled?"

"Not all 'scum'," she jeered and just before I could pull the trigger, my blaster pointed at her bucket helmet, I felt my body going numb, like I'd been shot, yet I felt no specific wound, just my body aching.

Stormtrooper guns have a stun option, I remembered with dread. Though I felt clouds of darkness coming into my vison, I desperately scratched at my belt, trying to unhook my lightsaber to fight back, only to feel my legs giving out as I fell to my knees. Hearing a clang, my lightsaber fell to the metal floor. My hands reached out in anguish to ignite it, to at least kill my attacker, even if I had no reason as to why she would stun me instead of just killing me.

It was no use. By the time I heard the humming and saw the bright purple beam through the shadows or darkness overtaking my vision, my fingers had gone too numb to even feel anything, my body feeling limp and weak as I succumbed to the darkness.

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